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feel-my-psycho-love · 2 years ago

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Number one (I absolutely love little mix <3)with Steve

Hi anon!! thank you so much for requesting something! I didn’t know if you wanted this to be with Steve Harrington or Rogers, but I went with Cap because I’m in the mood for Marvel. Also I’m sorry this took me so long to post!

Woman Like Me || Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: You had the biggest crush on Steve, but you thought you were too different to work as a couple. Although that didn't mean you couldn't have a little fun with him.

Or the one where Steve is shy and you love to tease him.

Based on the prompt 1 from this prompt list: “And every time we touch, boy, you make me feel weak // I can tell you’re shy, and I think you’re so sweet” (Woman Like Me by Little Mix)

Warnings: shy!steve (he's so adorable omg), mutual pining, fluff but like a lot of it

English is not my first language

Word count: 3000+

Notes: I wrote this in a couple of hours while trying to distract myself from another story that is giving me some trouble so I'm sorry if it sucks :(

There weren't many things you were certain about in your life. As part of the Avengers, your daily life was plagued with problems and difficult decisions that made you question every step you took. You loved your job because it allowed you to help people and build a better world. But you also hated it because it meant that your mind never had a break, always worrying about doing the right thing and wondering if you had proceeded in the right way. Your thoughts were a mess of disastrous emotions most of the time, and you always ended up doubting yourself and your abilities.

However, there were two things you never doubted. One, you had the biggest crush on Steve Rogers. And two, you two were incompatible.

It wasn't because he was your Captain and flirting with him would be inappropriate—God knows that hadn't stopped you in the past—, but because Steve was the most different person to you on the entire team. On the battlefield he was confident and determined. He always knew what to do and how to do it, and he never seemed to doubt his judgment, inspiring confidence in anyone who listened to him talk for more than five minutes. But behind closed doors, Steve was a big softie, shy and reserved. And you weren't. In fact, you were the exact opposite, drawing everyone's attention to you when you walked into a room. You were confident and enjoyed having everyone's eyes on you, a quality that in your mind kept you from the possibility of being with someone like Steve.

But just because you two wouldn't work as a couple didn't mean you couldn't have a little fun with him. Steve was a man who blushed easily and you loved watching the redness slowly creep up his neck, settling on his cheeks every time someone gave him a compliment. It gave him an innocent look that drove you crazy, especially when it was your comments that caused it.

Naturally, being the type of person you were, it didn't take you long to make it your personal mission to make Steve blush as many times as you could. It was like a game to you, testing the waters to find out what made him tick. At first it was simple comments about how good he looked or how pretty his eyes were. He always seemed so surprised and out of his element when he heard your words, struggling to respond in coherent sentences, and you loved it. You were fascinated by the idea that someone like Captain America himself—who was not only much more older than you, but also much bigger and physically stronger—would crumble at your simple comments. He was adorable and you couldn't help but feel butterflies in your stomach every time he blushed.

As time went on, Steve got used to your compliments and at some point they stopped having the effect they used to. So you, in your desire to see the embarrassment flash in his eyes, took it a step further, focusing your tactics on simple brushes of your body against his and more explicit comments. It was all accidental, brushing his thigh with your hand when you sat close together on movie nights or grabbing hold of his biceps to keep from falling when sudden dizziness attacked you out of nowhere. His eyes would widen and blood would quickly pool in his cheeks, but when the initial surprise passed he would lean into your touch. You didn't know if it was because he enjoyed it or because he was used to your nonsense. Whatever the reason was, you weren't complaining because it gave you an excuse to stay close to him for a little longer.

You'd love to be able to say that you had everything under control, that your teasing and casual rubbing had no effect on you, but that wasn't true. You might have Steve eating out of the palm of your hand, but it wasn't a one-way street because he had the same power over you. Only in his case it was worse, because he didn't even know what he was doing every time he smiled at you or whenever he leaned over your caresses, looking up at you with his big blue eyes full of innocence.

You were totally and utterly fucked, but you didn't want to stop even though you knew you probably should. You were addicted to him and the way he made you feel. And at this point, finding a new way to make him blush at least once a day had become part of your routine. So you kept going, even though you knew you were entering dangerous territory.

When Tony announced he was having a party you took it as another opportunity to tease Steve and see how far you could push him. You didn't even hear what the reason for the celebration was and you didn't care, all your mind did from that moment until the day of the party was think of new ways to make Steve blush. You started with your outfit, choosing a red dress that while not very revealing, hugged your curves in the best way. And once you had your look planned down to the last detail, you focused on the tactics you would use to get the job done. You were pretty sure that the crowd of strangers would play in your favor. Steve was used to putting up with your nonsense when alone or accompanied by the rest of the avengers, his best friends and the people he trusted most in the world. But a party full of guests he didn't know presented a different scenario. You decided it would be best to start small—a few compliments here, a sneaky hand on his chest there—and see where that got you.

When the day came you spent hours getting ready, locked in your room. You didn't want Steve to see you until you were ready, hoping your outfit would help you surprise him. You didn't go down to the party until it had started, making sure you heard the music and the chatter of people milling around the tower before you left your room. You wanted to make an entrance, to have his eyes locked on your figure from across the room like in the movies, and for that you needed people to be there.

You found Steve in the crowd with ease. He was sitting at the bar, drinking a few beers while chatting with Bucky and Sam. He was wearing a blue shirt that clung to his figure, accentuating his well-toned muscles. His eyes locked onto yours for a brief moment, admiring your form in the dim light of the room. You smiled at him and despite the distance separating the two of you, you were able to notice his nervousness as he realized you had caught him devouring you with your gaze.

Even though every fiber of your body wanted to run to him and wrap your arms around him to feel his body against yours, you held back, opting to enjoy the party a little first so as not to be so obvious. You were pretty sure Steve knew what was to come, he could read it in your eyes every time your gazes met, but you decided to wait. Tension and anticipation was an exciting part of that cat and mouse game you were participating in and you were counting on them to help you win.

You waited until Steve stopped looking for you in the crowd from time to time to approach, using the element of surprise to your advantage. But before you made your way over to him you turned to the dj Tony had hired for the night, asking him to play a slow song. You wanted to dance with Steve and you knew the only way you could do that would be if it was to music he was comfortable with. The guy behind the booth was nice, letting you choose which song you wanted and assuring you that he would play it next.

You approached Steve with a smile on your face, anticipation tingling inside you. He was laughing at a comment Sam had made when you appeared at his side, placing your hand on his arm to get his attention. He turned to look at you and you noticed how the breath caught in his throat at your presence, clearly not expecting to see you.

“You clean up nice!” You spoke with a smile, letting your eyes wander over his figure, admiring how the fabric hugged and accentuated the muscles of his body. “Blue is definitely your color, Captain.” You bit your lip to contain the smile that wanted to form on your face as you noticed the way Steve shifted in his seat at the mention of his title.

“T-thank you, Y/N.” He nervously blurted out, clearing his throat in an attempt to buy time for his brain to formulate a response. “You, hum, you look b-beautiful too… not that I think I'm beautiful! I don't think so highly of myself, it's just that you said-” He rambled on without thinking about what he was saying. You let out a small chuckle, endeared by his reaction and amused by Sam's disappointed face.

“It’s okay, Steve. I got you.” He let out a nervous laugh as he cursed his brain for abandoning him at that moment. You always made him look ridiculous and he really wanted to prove to you that he wasn't a complete idiot. He had been preparing himself from the moment he saw you walk into the party, imagining the thousands ways you would try to embarrass him. He thought he was ready to face you, but you didn't show up, so for a while your presence disappeared from his mind. He was beginning to relax again when you appeared at his side and his brain forgot all his cognitive functions.

“For the record, I think you are a very attractive man, Steve. Don't sell yourself short.” Steve swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. You let your eyes follow it for a moment, silently admiring the veins marking the area around his neck before returning your gaze to his eyes.

“T-thank you, Y/N.” And there it was again, the redness creeping up his neck to his cheeks. You smiled proudly, surprised that it had taken you so little to get him to blush. You thought you were past the stage where simple compliments embarrassed him. Maybe you were mistaken. Or maybe Sam and Bucky's murmuring next to him was making him nervous. Whatever was the reason, you took it as a victory, but you didn't stop there. You still wanted to know how far you could go.

Just in time, the melody of the song you had chosen to dance with Steve began to echo through the large room. Some people around you hurried to the dance floor, hugging their partners as they moved to the soft rhythm of the music. You watched the crowd for a moment before turning to look at Steve once more, finding his big blue eyes locked on your figure.

“Would you dance with me, Steve?” Your voice was soft, barely audible over the sound of the music. It took Steve a few seconds to understand what you had said, distracted by your closeness. He felt Sam's light kick to the side of his leg, bringing him back to reality. He nodded his head slightly, taking your hand in his and walking to the dance floor with you.

Steve took you by the waist, his grip unsure, and made sure to keep some distance between your bodies so as not to make you uncomfortable. You thought it was adorable the way he was taking care of you, but you wanted to feel him against you, to be completely enveloped by the warmth of his body. So you moved closer to him, running your hands up his firm chest until you reached his neck. Your fingers entwined around the back of his neck, holding him tight against you. Steve was tense, you could feel it in the stiffness of his shoulders. It wasn't a tension caused by discomfort, but one caused by nerves and fear of making a fool of himself. So you gave him a warm smile and that seemed to help him loosen up a little, his grip on your waist tightening slightly as you began to move to the gentle rhythm of the music.

You were in heaven, trapped in Steve's strong arms as his figure towered over you. His big blue eyes watched you in wonder, as if he couldn't believe the situation he was in. A slight pinkish tint still colored his cheeks and there was nothing you wanted more than to intensify it, but you held back, deciding to enjoy the moment for a little while longer before continuing with your fun.

The world around you ceased to exist, it was just you, him and the sound of music guiding your steps. The scent of his cologne assaulted your nostrils, every time you inhaled you breathed in his scent, intoxicating in it. Steve's fingers began to caress your waist, his thumbs moving in a circular motion over the fabric of your dress. It awakened a tingling sensation that ran through your whole body and left you completely stupid, feeling weak in the knees.

"Not so bad for a man your age." You broke the silence, joking to hide how much his simple touch affected you. You laid your head on his chest, hiding from his intense gaze in an attempt to regain your composure. But in that pose you were able to hear the sound of his heart beating rapidly against his chest and you felt a tingle of joy and pride run through your body, knowing that you were the one responsible for it. "I could get used to this." You muttered without really realizing what you were saying, losing yourself in the moment as you hummed the song under your breath.

"You're killing me, sweetheart." Steve whispered against your hair, his voice barely audible. "All the little games you play are driving me crazy."

"What if they are not just games?" You asked, lifting your head from his chest to look at him. You noticed some confusion in his eyes and wondered if it was really so weird to think that you had feelings for him. "What if I told you I like you, Steve?"

"I would tell you I'm flattered that a beautiful woman such as yourself has such feelings for me. And that I'm glad I'm not the only one." Steve gave you one of his perfect, charming smiles, the kind that always awakened butterflies in your stomach. He sounded confident despite the slight blush on his cheeks—well, more confident than he usually sounded when he was with you—, and you had to admit you liked the way it looked on him. It was a nice change from the babbling mess he used to be in your presence.

"You look adorable when you blush. Has anyone ever told you that?" You said with a smile, feeling the tingle of joy run through your whole body as you discovered that Steve also had feelings for you.

"Yes, you did actually, multiple times." He laughed. Your eyes dropped down to his lips for a moment, admiring the way they curved up into his smile. God, he was perfect. His lips seemed to be so soft that you began to wonder how they would feel on yours.

"Steve," you whispered, forcing yourself to look away from his lips. "Can I kiss you?" He gave you a simple nod and that was all you needed to give in to your desires. Standing on your tiptoes, you pressed your lips to his, using your grip on the back of his neck to pull him to you. Even with heels on he was still a couple of inches taller than you, his body towering over yours in an imposing manner. You loved the difference in height, loved the feel of his strong arms pressing you against his body as your lips moved together.

It was an experimental kiss, a curious brushing of lips as you tested the waters, discovering what it felt like to be bound together in such a way. Electricity ran down your spine as soon as you felt the pressure of Steve's lips on yours and you knew then and there that you couldn't go back to normal after that. There was no way you could forget what it felt like to kiss him because you were pretty sure that was all you wanted to do for the rest of your life, kiss him until you could no longer feel your lips.

Fireworks exploded behind your eyes as you intensified the kiss a little, your tongue curiously exploring his mouth. You wanted to memorize every detail of that moment, to remember forever the softness of his lips against yours and the sweet sound Steve had let out when you nibbled his lower lip playfully, the moan vibrating in his chest against yours. You were in heaven, flying through clouds of satisfaction and bliss, and you never wanted to come down. But you needed to breathe, so you were forced to separate your lips from his, though you refused to put distance between your bodies.

"You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that." Steve whispered against your lips, his forehead pressed against yours as he looked into your eyes.

"I'm willing to do it again, you know, if you want." You said in a casual tone with a smile planted on your face..

"God, yes. I want everything with you." Steve assured, before crashing his lips against yours.

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feel-my-psycho-love · 2 years ago

Text

Eleven: *sneaking in through her window*

Hopper: *turning in his chair and flicking the light on* You want to tell me where you’ve been all night?

Eleven: I-I was with Steve?

Steve: *turning in his chair* Wanna try again?

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feel-my-psycho-love · 3 years ago

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Hi!!!!!! How are you!!!!??? Today I found your blog and I really loved it 😍😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ can I request a Bucky x Fem!Reader oneshot?? This idea came to mind because of a dream 😂🙈

Bucky never liked the reader because she "worked" for HYDRA, making everyone hate her in turn, except for Tony, Sam and Clint. On a complicated mission, Bucky is mortally wounded and the Reader is blamed on the Quinjet, to which she decides to use her power, transferring her crush's wounds into her body in order to save him. Steve refuses to let her touch his friend but relents when she tells him her own story in HYDRA and how she was tortured, and asks for someone to keep her hands steady, no matter how much she asks for the pain and sensation to stop, because if she removed them both she and he could die. Bucky, waking up seconds after her powers worked out, sees the reader fall into Sam's arms and how he carries her in his arms to the medical wing once they arrive back at the tower and feels bad that he made her suffer like that when he learns that she was also an experiment like him.

Happy ending with lot of fluff?? Hahahahahaha

Thank you so much love 🙈❤️ lot of kisses from Argentina 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

hermana mira donde vengo a encontrar a otra argentina sjsjsj

I loved your request so much! sorry it took me so long to post it, I wanted to get it right bc it was a really interesting idea and I wanted to do it justice

Enemies || Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You and Bucky don't get along. He hates you from the moment he found out you used to work for Hydra and has no problem showing it. Until one day after an accident on a mission he discovers the truth about your past and realizes that you two aren't so different after all.

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, enemies to friends, Bucky and Steve are mean to the reader, mentions of past trauma (the reader was experimented on and tortured by Hydra kinda like Bucky), reader has powers that allow her to transfer people’s wounds on her own body and heal them using her own vital force, fluff (Bucky it’s a sweetheart in the end)

Word count: 5000+

English is not my first language

You knew your day was going to suck from the moment you heard Steve pair you up with Bucky to guard the west entrance to the Hydra base you were about to storm. You and Bucky didn't get along. In fact, you didn't get along with most of the Avengers. The other superheroes tended to keep a certain distance from you, whispering under their breath whenever they saw you passing through the halls of Avengers Tower. Being a former Hydra agent had that effect on people.

Usually that didn't bother you. They didn't know the whole story and you'd rather they didn't, so you put up with the rude treatment by taking refuge in the support of Tony, Sam and Clint. They were the only ones who knew your whole story and were responsible for you becoming part of the Avengers in the first place, so their support and friendship was the only thing that mattered to you. Having them around helped you endure the suspicious looks and whispers behind your back. At least for the most part that was the case, because when Steve and Bucky were involved there was nothing that could improve your mood.

There was something about the way they looked at you that made your blood boil. They hated you—especially Bucky— and they made no effort to hide it. They didn't want you on the Avengers and you were pretty sure the only reason Steve had accepted you was because Sam had insisted you were a good addition to the team. You honestly didn't blame them for not trusting you. They didn't know you and you didn't try very hard to please them either. You didn't need their friendship, you just wanted them to stop treating you with such contempt. Something that apparently was impossible.

"Stop staring at me." You muttered in annoyance as you walked into Hydra's base with your pistol in hand.

"I'm not staring at you." Bucky spoke behind your back, using that dismissive tone he always used with you.

"I can feel your eyes burning in the back of my neck, you're not that subtle" you replied rolling your eyes. "Just for once could you do your job without being fucking annoying?"

"I am doing my job."

"I mean the actual mission, not the side babysitting mission that Steve put you up to." You complained, turning to look at him. You had heard them talking after Steve announced the teams. The quinjet wasn't that big and Bucky wasn't as quiet as he thought he was when he was upset. He had complained to his friend about putting them together and Steve explained that he wanted him to keep an eye on you. Since then you hadn't stopped feeling Bucky's eyes on your figure. "I know you don't trust me and you think I'm going to betray you or something but I'm not. I don't know how much information about Hydra I have to give you to make you understand that I'm on your side."

"Yeah, we'll see about that." Bucky whispered, pushing past you without even looking at you.

"Unbelievable" you grumbled under your breath, rolling your eyes.

You walked behind him in silence for the rest of the time, concentrating on the mission you had to complete. Steve had sent you to secure the perimeter of the west side of the Hydra base. You had to eliminate all the guards without alerting anyone and then wait at the side entrance for further instructions. You had to be quick and quiet so as not to be discovered, so you and Bucky opted to use your bare hands to take out the guards. A couple of blows to the head, a few minutes blocking their airway, and just like that they fell unconscious to the ground without even knowing what had attacked them. Staying hidden and moving stealthily probably ended up taking more time than the task of eliminating the guards itself. Bucky was easy to work with when he kept his mouth shut and his attention focused on something other than his hatred for you.

"We're in position, Captain" you whispered into your earpiece to let Steve and the rest of the team know that you and Bucky were ready to proceed.

"Copy that, Y/N" you heard Steve's voice in your ear. "Hold your position and wait for my signal."

"Copy that."

You overheard Steve ask the rest of the team for a status report. Clint and Natasha had been delayed by a couple of guards who managed to spot them before they could take care of them, though it was nothing that put the mission at risk. You waited patiently for everyone to get to their positions, trying your best to ignore the awkward tension between you and Bucky. He had stopped fixing his intense gaze on you, but the sidelong glances he gave you from time to time weren't much better.

"Okay, everybody is in position" Steve's voice echoed in your ear again. "Remember, we're here for information. We get in and attack from every angle to confuse them. We take what we need and we leave." He continued to give a brief encouraging speech about why you were doing what you were doing, but you didn't need those pretty words. You didn't even need an excuse to attack Hydra, your personal experience was reason enough to want to burn every base to the ground. Taking them down was your life's mission and the only reason you had agreed to join the Avengers.

The plan was simple. Each duo would attack from a different point to confuse the Hydra agents and throw the guards off balance. Your job was to keep the enemy's attention on you so that Steve and Sam could obtain the organization's records. You had drawn them a map based on vague memories you had of the times you had been there before. If nothing had changed since your last visit, Steve and Sam had a safe way to the office of the man who acted as the boss at that base, where all the records of Hydra's activities were kept. Those files were key to defeating Hydra once and for all, so you were willing to give your life to make sure Steve got them.

When Steve gave the signal, you and Bucky entered the building with guns blazing. There were many armed guards inside, but they were no match for your perfect aim. The sound of gunfire—both near and far away from you— and the screams of Hydra agents was all you could hear as you advanced upon the enemy. Being back in that place brought back horrible memories, but you didn't let that distract you. You buried the resentment and anguish you felt deep inside, focusing all your attention on the mission. Giving Steve time to get the confidential information about Hydra was your number one priority.

"How much longer?" You heard Natasha's voice in your ear. "I'm running out of bullets here, Steve."

"Almost done," replied the Captain in an agitated voice. It was obvious that he was in the middle of a fight.

The area where you and Bucky found yourselves was mostly under control. A couple of guards appeared from time to time to try to stop you, but they all failed miserably. So you emerged from your hideout with your gun raised and headed for the corridor that would lead you to Natasha.

"Where are you going?" Bucky stopped you by grabbing your shoulder and turning you to look at him.

"Natasha needs help. You can take care of this alone" you explained as if it were obvious. "If you get in trouble just call me and I'll come back."

"I'm not letting you go anywhere alone." Bucky gave you one of his warning looks. Normally he managed to intimidate you when his eyes were fixed on you with such intensity, but today things were different. You had so many feelings swirling inside you that you weren't able to care about him.

"Oh my god! We don't have time for this" you exclaimed, rolling your eyes. "Natasha needs help. If you don't want me running around this place alone then you go help her!"

"I'm not gonna leave you alone here. Natasha has a partner and she can take care of herself."

"This is bullshit! How many times do I have to tell you I'm not with them?" You spoke, raising your voice higher than necessary, noticeably angry at Bucky."I'm not going to disappear to go help them or betray you in any way. I led you all here! I want Hydra gone as much as you do."

"Well, I don't know that. I don't trust you so you are not leaving my sight." Bucky's voice was determined, the features on his face rigid as stone staring at you with a perpetual frown. You opened your mouth to complain. You wanted to yell at him to go to hell and continue on your way to help Natasha, but the sound of a gunshot ringing in your ears distracted you.

Everything happened so fast. One second Bucky was giving you one of his murderous looks and the next he was on the floor with blood soaking his abdomen. You didn't have time to think, ducking for cover as you scanned the room with your eyes for the one responsible. You found him hiding behind an adjacent door that up until that moment you thought was locked, and put a bullet in his head before he could alert his friends.

"Bucky, oh my god! Are you okay?" You mumbled in horror as you pressed your trembling hands over his wound. "Please stay with me."

"Guys I got it. Get the hell out from there" Steve's voice exclaimed in your ear.

"I-I need back up" you mumbled into your earpiece. "Bucky has been shot. He's losing a lot of blood."

There was a silent pause that felt like an eternity before Steve replied that he was on his way. He sounded concerned, but at the time it didn't occur to you to think about how angry he would be at you for letting something happen to his friend. That thought only popped into your mind when you noticed the stiffness in his expression as he looked at you.

"What happened here?" He asked you in a cold tone, kneeling down next to Bucky, who was struggling to maintain consciousness.

"We were... I-I don't know. Some guy came out of nowhere and shot him... I couldn't do anything." You tried to explain despite your nerves. Steve removed your hands from his friend's wound and helped him up, putting Bucky's arm around his shoulders so he could carry him.

"I'm sorry, buddy. I shouldn't have left you with her." You heard him mutter as he walked away. You stood there not knowing how to react, until you felt someone put a hand on your shoulder.

"I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to..." When you looked up, you saw Sam's face, who was looking at you with compassion.

"It's okay. Bucky is strong, he's gonna make it" he assured you in a soft voice. You nodded at his words without even fully processing what he had said and followed his lead, walking next to him to get out of that place.

When you arrived at the quinjet the rest of the team was waiting for you. As soon as you and Sam entered the doors closed and Tony, who was sitting in the pilot's seat, took it upon himself to get you back to the tower as quickly as possible. Your eyes searched for Bucky among the group of superheroes, and found him lying in a corner with Steve at his side. He was keeping pressure on his friend's wound while talking to him to keep him from losing consciousness. Bucky answered him in a weak, slurred voice, whispering his answers with difficulty.

You tried to stay away from them. You were worried about Bucky but you knew that both he and Steve hated you so you thought it was best not to intervene. At least that was until you noticed how pale Bucky was getting. He was losing a lot of blood and his voice sounded more and more muffled until eventually he stopped responding.

"How much longer?" Steve asked Tony, who told him that it was still about 30 minutes before they got to the tower.

"Let me help him" you finally said, approaching Steve with hesitation. You knew it was probably a bad idea, but you couldn't let Bucky die.

He glared at you for a moment before returning his attention to his friend, who was struggling to breathe. "Don't you think you have done enough already?" Steve's words hurt you even though you expected them. You knew he didn't like you and you were more than sure he would blame you for what had happened to his friend, but it still hurt to see the contempt in his eyes. Because part of you knew you deserved it.

"I can help him." You insisted, swallowing your feelings. "Your friend doesn't have 30 minutes. Just look at him!" Steve stood still without taking his eyes off Bucky. For a moment you thought he was ignoring you. It made sense, given how much he hated you. But Bucky didn’t have time for any of this. So when you spoke again you made sure to say something that would make him see reason. "Let me help him. Let me use this curse that Hydra put on me for something good for once. At least that way all the torture and experimentation I went through will be worth something."

Steve raised his head to look at you with a much softer expression than before. There was a mixture of confusion, surprise and pity in his eyes. And as much as you hated the look of distrust he used to give you, you hated seeing the pity in his eyes even more. Now that he understood the implications behind your words, Steve looked at you the same way everyone who knew your past did. As if you were broken inside and incapable of being restored. And maybe you were, but that was nobody's business. You didn't need anyone's pity.

Without a word, Steve moved from his spot to give you space. You knelt beside Bucky, analyzing his wound before doing anything. The bullet had pierced him cleanly, leaving a clear entry and exit hole, but you had no way of knowing if it had damaged any vital organs along the way. Blood continued to pour from the wound, although in smaller quantities than before. It was not going to be an easy task to heal him, but you believed you could help him. Although for that you would need assistance.

"I need to stay still while I do this. My hands need to be steady and firm over his wounds at all times otherwise we could both get really hurt." You explained as you rolled up your sleeves so that nothing could get between your hands and Bucky's body. Immediately Sam and Clint appeared at your side, asking what they could do to help. You told them to hold your wrists firmly over Bucky's wound and they complied with your instructions, kneeling one on each side of you. "Do not let me take my hands away from him. It's going to hurt me, I'm gonna scream and I'll probably pass out, but that's okay. Do not let me move until his wounds are gone." The men nodded as you looked at them, giving you the reassurance you needed to get started.

Letting out a deep sigh, you closed your eyes and focused all your attention on Bucky. In a matter of seconds you began to feel a tingling sensation running through your body and your hands became slightly warmer. It was something that happened every time you used your powers. You guessed it was your body's way of letting you know when you used them. Then you felt a sharp pain stabbing into your abdomen like a knife, right at the same level where Bucky's wound was. The pain increased with each passing second until it became unbearable, but you didn't let that distract you. Transferring Bucky's wounds and his pain to your own body was the only way to save him. You would heal him through your powers, restoring his health by giving him some of your own life force. It was the only way for him to survive after the amount of blood he had lost, so you continued even though every fiber of your body was screaming for you to stop.

Your whimpers of pain echoed throughout the quinjet which was dead silent as everyone watched you work. Sam and Clint fought against the spasms of your body to hold you steady in your position. They hated to see you writhing in pain, but they knew it was necessary. Soon your whimpers turned into howls of suffering. Until suddenly they stopped. The muscles in your whole body relaxed and you fell unconscious on Sam's chest, who took you in his arms protectively. Everyone's attention was focused on you for a few minutes, making sure you were still alive. Your breathing was weak, as was your pulse, but luckily you were already approaching the tower.

Tony landed the quinjet on the runway, where the medical team was already waiting for them. When the doors opened, Sam carried your unconscious body in his arms, hurrying to take you to the medical wing. That image was the first thing Bucky saw when he opened his eyes.

"What happened?" Bucky muttered in confusion. His head was spinning and he felt so weak that Steve had to help him up.

"You were shot. Y/N saved you" Steve explained, still surprised by what he had just witnessed.

"What?"

"I think we were wrong about her."

*****

Bucky felt terrible. Sam, Clin and Tony had explained to him your history with Hydra—how they had experimented on you to develop your powers, how they had tortured you and forced you to work for them until you managed to escape. They didn't have all the details, only the things you had told them, but it was more than enough for him to realize the mistake he had made. As he listened to them talk about your past, he couldn't help but think how similar it sounded to his own story. The experimentation, the torture, the coercion, were all things he too had suffered under Hydra's control.

He should have known better. He should have recognized the pain in your eyes, the guilt and resentment that never quite went away. How could he not have noticed when he saw the same feelings reflected in his eyes every day when he looked in the mirror?

As he watched you sleep in the bed in the medical wing of the tower Bucky couldn't help but wonder why you had never told him the truth. Why had you let him treat you so badly? Why had you let him look at you with such disdain every chance he got? Why did you let everyone think that you had been a willing agent of Hydra? He was determined to find the answers to his questions. He wanted to know you better, to know your true story so he could understand you.

Bucky spent all his free time sitting by your side, waiting for you to wake up. You had been unconscious for two days and no one knew exactly when you would wake up. He, on the other hand, was in perfect condition thanks to you. When the doctors examined him upon arrival at the tower, they found nothing wrong with him. His vital signs were perfect and there was no trace of his bullet wound. He couldn't help but feel guilty that you had risked your life to save him even though he had been nothing but horrible to you.

"Bucky?" Your faint voice brought him out of his thoughts. When he looked up he discovered that you were looking at him with confusion. "What are you doing here?"

You didn't remember much of what had happened. Your mind was still a bit disoriented, confused after opening your eyes and finding yourself in a hospital room. The white light bothered your eyes and worsened the headache you felt. However, nothing was as strange and confusing as seeing Bucky sitting on the side of your bed. Especially since he wasn't looking at you with the hatred you always noticed in his eyes. He looked... Sad? Upset? You weren't sure, you just knew you had never seen that expression on his face.

"Welcome back! How are you feeling?" He ignored your question, speaking in a soft tone as he moved a little closer to you.

"Like I was hit by a truck" you answered honestly, letting out a laugh that turned into a groan of pain as you felt your head throb. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" You shook your head slightly. "You saved my life."

You contemplated Bucky's words for a moment, struggling to remember what had happened. Slowly the haze that haunted your memory dispersed, allowing the images of what happened on the quinjet to flash through your mind. You remembered Bucky's fading appearance, the pain in your abdomen, and Sam's arms around your body just before you lost consciousness.

"Oh" you muttered, not knowing what else to say. "How long was I out?"

"Two days. I was starting to get worried." You looked at Bucky with confusion as you heard him say that. He was worried about you? That was something new. Apparently saving his life was the way to gain his trust.

"Why are you here?" You didn't want to sound rude or aggressive. You were happy to have someone by your side at that moment to explain things that your confused and overwhelmed brain didn't understand. But you couldn't ignore the fact that Bucky was the last person you would expect to find by your side when you opened your eyes. He couldn't stand you, so why was he being so nice to you?

"I didn't want you to be alone when you woke up. I figured you were going to be confused." He explained, embarrassment evident in his voice. Bucky knew it was odd that he suddenly showed such kindness to you, but he wanted to make things right. "And I, uumm, I wanted to thank you for saving me."

"Oh." You were surprised to hear genuine gratitude in his voice. "Don't mention it. I just did what anyone would have done in my place."

"See that's the thing. I don't know if I would have risked my life to save yours." Bucky admitted with shame, struggling to maintain eye contact with you. He was ashamed to admit that he had let the hatred he felt for Hydra—and by extension for you— cloud his judgment in that way. "All this time I thought you were..." He let out a sigh, not wanting to finish the sentence. "Why didn't you tell us about your past, about everything Hydra did to you?"

"What difference would have it made?" You shrugged, looking down at your hands fiddling with the edge of the sheet covering you. "They wouldn't have understood and would have looked at me with pity in their eyes... Feeling sorry for me and constantly reminding me of all the shit I went through."

"I would have understood." Bucky said, resting his hand on yours. You admired his gesture for a moment, reveling in the strange sense of security that the warmth of his hand awakened within you. When you looked up to face him you noticed that the gentle expression he was giving you was one you had never seen on his face before. You didn't even know Bucky was capable of looking at someone with such compassion. "You could have come to me. If you had talked to me about it, I wouldn't have been so hard on you."

"What makes you think I wanted you to be less hard on me?"

Bucky's heart broke when he heard you say that, recognizing in your words the same pain and guilt he still felt for his past at Hydra. You felt responsible for having helped them and that's why you had let everyone treat you like a monster. Because to you that's what you were. You didn't care that they had tortured you and forced you to work for them, to you the only thing that mattered was that you had helped them. And Bucky understood that feeling of guilt perfectly. He experienced it firsthand on a daily basis and it was something he would have to fight against until the day he died.

Accepting himself as a victim and not as the victimizer was not an easy task. It was a decision he made every day, something that had taken a lot of work. The support of Steve, Sam and the rest of the Avengers was what kept him afloat on his bad days, when guilt and anguish seemed to win the battle. But you didn't have that. All you had was his look of hatred that confirmed everything bad you thought about yourself. Bucky was sickened by the realization of the true extent of the damage he had been causing you all this time.

"It wasn't your fault, Y/N." Bucky tried to cheer you up, squeezing your hand in a supportive gesture. "You were tortured and forced to work for them."

"But I still did it." You replied with tears rolling down your cheeks. "I might not have pulled the trigger but the blood of all the people Hydra hurt is on my hands."

"Y/N, listen to me." Bucky spoke in a soft voice, leaning toward you and wiping away your tears with his thumb. "You are not what they made of you. The same way I'm not the Winter Soldier. I know it's hard to accept it, it took me a long time too, but it's the truth. You were forced to work for them but you escaped as soon as you had the chance. You spent all this time trying to beat them. That's who you are."

"How do you know that?" You sobbed. "You hated me two days ago."

"That's because I didn't know the truth. I didn't know what they had done to you. I just thought you were a Hydra agent that got pissed at them and switched sides to get revenge. But that's not true. That's not who you are and I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like it was."

"You didn't know." You mumbled as you wiped your tears with the back of your hand.

"Yeah but I should have known better. I should have recognized the guilt in your eyes because I carry it inside me too. And I'm deeply sorry for making you feel even worse." Bucky looked honestly remorseful. You could see it in his eyes crystallized by the tears he was struggling to hold back, and you could hear it in his broken, soft voice.

He had a lump in his throat that made it hard to breathe. Talking to you had brought to the surface a lot of feelings he thought were buried. It was almost like talking to a past version of himself, the one who had let himself be brought down by guilt and pain. He had the opportunity to help you in a way that no one—not even Steve—had been able to help him because Bucky really understood what you were going through. He had lived through it and knew exactly what kind of thoughts were going through your head. He had the opportunity to use everything he had learned in his time free from the Winter Soldier to help you through this dark time in your life, and make sure you were never alone again.

"You want to know how I know who you really are?" Bucky said and you nodded even though you were pretty sure it was a rhetorical question."It's simple, you're me. We're the same, you and I. I know what you have been through and I can assure you that you are not what Hydra made of you."

Hearing Bucky say those things made you burst into tears once again. You didn't feel worthy of such words of encouragement, but you were glad to hear them anyway. It was exactly what you needed to hear at that moment. His words were like a gentle caress to your soul, one that your shattered spirit was grateful for and glad to receive.

"I know we are not the best of friends, but I want you to know that you don't have to go through this alone. You can trust me." Bucky said as he took your hands in his, giving them a squeeze."I would like to get to know you a little better, you know, be friends."

It was a bit surreal to hear Bucky saying those things to you and giving you warm smiles, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't find comfort in his words. He knew about your past, but when you looked into his eyes you didn't see pity reflected in them, not even as he wiped the tears from your cheeks. He looked at you with compassion, recognizing in you and in your story a part of him. He spoke to you from the experience of someone who had gone through something similar and had managed to come out alive from the cloud of darkness that guilt, anguish and resentment created in the mind. It was nice to hear him talk, it gave you hope for the future. If he had been able to get out of it then so could you.

"I'd really like that" you replied with a shy smile, looking forward to meeting the real Bucky.

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feel-my-psycho-love · 3 years ago

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Hii, I was hoping you could write something with bucky Barnes🥺 i was hoping you could write that Bucky has been getting increasingly angry at everything (not getting physically angry, just angry because of work stress related that he doesn’t know how to channel correctly) The reader is becoming scared because of her trauma response from growing up. Usually the reader is quiet and kinda deals with his moods but one day she locks herself in the bedroom and cries trying to figure out what to do and this is when Bucky realizes that he needs to do better and make up for putting reader through so much stress and sadness.

Thank you, your so good at writing ❤️

Hi! Thank you so much or your request💖 I kinda got a little carried away with this one because I felt identified with the story. I hope I haven't changed the story too much and that it still resembles what you had in mind

Tension || Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky has been acting distant and you can't help but think it's your fault.

(I suck at summaries I’m sorry)

Warnings: angst (with happy ending), Bucky is a little harsh on reader, mentions of past trauma (reader’s parents had a shitty toxic relationship), english is not my first language!

Word count: 1700+

Your relationship with Bucky was going through a difficult time. Lately things between you were strained. Bucky was distant and his moods changed easily. One moment he would be showering you with kisses and telling you how much he loved you and the next he would disappear into his office, locking himself in there for the rest of the day. You didn't know what was going on with him and you didn't know how to help him so you usually opted to stay out of it communicating through monosyllables as you waited for his mood to improve.

You feared for your relationship. Every time you looked into his face and found that dead expression that hid the tension and anger in his eyes you wondered if somehow it was your fault. You wondered if maybe Bucky had grown tired of you or if maybe you had done something to irritate him without realizing it. The doubt was eating you up inside, but you weren't sure you were ready to know the answer to that question yet so you remained silent. You loved Bucky with all your heart and didn't want to face the world without him by your side.

Instead of communicating your worries to him you became very good at the art of reading his emotions. One quick glance at his face and you were able to tell if Bucky was happy, tired, upset or angry. That helped your relationship improve a bit, but it didn't silence the doubts in your head. Every time he answered you in a bad way or raised the tone of his voice higher than normal you panicked, shutting your mouth immediately to avoid making the situation worse. It was your natural response to such situations, developed from a very early age by your brain due to certain childhood experiences you had gone through.

You knew that eventually Bucky would come back to you apologizing for his behavior while holding you against his chest with his strong arms. But despite that you couldn't help but wonder if you would end up like your parents' failed relationship. You didn't want that to happen, you had sworn to yourself a long time ago that you wouldn't repeat the cycle they had started. But the truth was that you didn't know how to handle the situation in any other way. You had grown accustomed to the yelling and the tension, the dysfunctionality disguised as regular family love. And even though you hated it, you couldn't deny that it was familiar territory for you.

That's why when Bucky yelled at you for the first time you were completely paralyzed for a moment, remembering the countless times you'd been caught in the middle of your parents' fights. You hadn't done anything wrong to make him react that way. You had simply gone to his office to ask him what he wanted for dinner since it was getting late. He had been locked in there all day and you wanted to do something nice for him, but Bucky didn't seem to be in the mood.

"What do you want for dinner, Buck? I'm going to order something before it gets too late" you asked him as you entered his office after knocking lightly on the door to announce yourself.

Bucky didn't even look up from the stack of files resting in front of him on his desk."Whatever you want is fine, baby. It's not really a good time now" he murmured with indifference.

"C'mon it'll only take a second, just tell me what you want and I'll order it" you insisted, failing to recognize the tension in his shoulders.

"Damn it, Y/N. I said I can't!" he exclaimed, raising his voice and slamming his hand on the desk.

You flinched at the sound, surprised to hear him use that tone with you. Bucky had never yelled at you before. He had raised his voice a few times, yes, but never like that. He knew your history and knew you didn't like it when people yelled, especially not him. It brought back horrible memories of your childhood. Memories that soon brought tears to your eyes.

You opened your mouth to speak, but you were unable to utter a word. The air was stuck in your throat and a knot had formed in your stomach. A single tear rolled down your cheek despite your efforts to hold it back. So you ran to your room to avoid making things worse.

You slammed the door shut and threw yourself on the bed to cry. You sobbed audibly, letting the tears that fell uncontrollably down your cheeks relieve the weight of frustration and pain that you carried inside you. You didn't understand what you had done wrong to end up like this. Your relationship with Bucky used to be beautiful and strong. You used to be proud of what you had built together, happy to have found such a wonderful man who understood you better than anyone else and was willing to do anything for you. But now all you could think about as you reflected on your relationship was how close you were to ending up like your parents. And that hurt because it was clearly your fault. You were repeating patterns without realizing it, unconsciously ruining the beautiful relationship you had.

Bucky came into the room a couple of minutes later and his heart broke into a thousand pieces when he saw your condition. He hadn't meant to react that way. You were just trying to be nice, but he was stressed and wasn't able to measure his actions. He was taking out his frustrations from his job on you and that wasn't fair. He had acted like a jerk and I honestly wouldn't blame you if you decided to break up with him.

"I'm sorry, doll" he spoke softly, sitting down next to you on the bed.

"What am I doing wrong, Bucky?" you asked him with eyes full of pain and he felt as if someone had punched him in the middle of his stomach. "What changed between us? We used to be different... W-we u-used to be happy and comfortable around each other. But now it's all tense and awkward. I've been trying to pretend everything is fine but it's not. And I'm losing my mind trying to figure out what it is that I did wrong so I can fix it."

The desperation in your voice broke Bucky's heart. He had gotten so carried away with his own problems that he didn't stop to think for a moment about how his bad mood and distant attitude might be affecting you. He hadn't done it on purpose, he just didn't know any other way to deal with his problems than to isolate himself from everyone until he found a solution. He had inadvertently let you believe that you were the problem, that you had done something to push him away, and that made him feel terrible because there was nothing further from the truth. You could never do anything to upset him, he loved you too much for that. Although he had failed to prove it to you. A mistake he was willing to correct right then and there.

"Listen to me, doll" he said, taking your face in his hands to force you to look at him. His voice was soft as his fingers caressed your cheeks gently, wiping away your tears with his thumbs."You did nothing wrong. This is all my fault. I'm stressed about work and I've been taking it out on you and that's not fair. I'm so sorry, Y/N. I shouldn't have pushed you away and I definitely shouldn't have yelled at you like that."

Bucky pulled you close to his body, wrapping his arms around you in a warm hug. You hid your face in his chest, inhaling the scent of his cologne mixed with the distinctive smell of his skin. You let the warmth of his body and the honesty in his words ease the pain in your heart. Bucky planted a sweet kiss on the top of your head and just like that you knew your boyfriend was back.

"I love you so much, doll. Meeting you was the best thing that happened to me. Don't ever think again that there is anything you could do to push me away because there is not'' he whispered against your hair. "I'm sorry about all this. I promise you I'll do better."

"It's okay, Buck" you said, pulling away from his body so you could look him in the eye. "It's my fault too. I should have said something but I was afraid of losing you so I stayed quiet."

"You could never lose me, Y/N. I'm yours forever. My heart belongs to you, always. I'm sorry I failed to prove it to you" Bucky declared before joining your lips in a delicate kiss full of love. You closed your eyes and let him guide you, expressing through his lips everything he felt but was unable to put into words.

When you parted the sadness was completely removed from your chest, relief and happiness replacing the weight of pain on your chest. As you looked into Bucky's eyes you noticed that special glow that awakened a comforting warmth inside you and you couldn't help but smile.

"How about ordering a pizza? We can pick a movie to watch cuddling after we eat. What do you think?"

"Weren't you busy with work?"

"It can wait till tomorrow. You are more important than work" he said, making you smile even more. Your problems were not completely solved, but they were on the right track.

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