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micah snorted, giving her an amused look, "i didn't assume it was anything but friendship, but should i?" he lifted a thick eyebrow at her, a sly grin on his lips. he wouldn't be surprised if abril was into him. he was fine as hell, "i'm a good friend to about three people, so count yourself lucky, i guess." he winked at the young woman.

"that sounds like a load of bullshit. you're lucky that i like you." she froze for a moment as she registered what had come out of her mouth without a second thought. cringing inwardly, she looked at him while chewing on her bottom lip. she could feel her ears getting hot and her face getting flush as she fumbled to find the right words to express next. "as a friend, i mean," she added a little too late. great save, abril. there was nothing better than telling your current crush you liked him at a funeral, the same funeral of the girl that you'd been crushing on too. "you're a good friend." at least he had been to her.

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she refrained from making a smart comment about how even talking here did not make this unbiased. the way they knew one another was anything but unbiased. she craned her neck slightly, trying to subtly get a peek of the materials in his folder, "well... i'll help as much as i can. if you think this will help and catch her killer, of course." she took a tiny sip of the coffee before setting it back down, "shame i'm not in handcuffs." she quipped.

javier leaned back in his chair, observing veronica as she fidgeted with the cup of coffee he'd just set down. " i understand this setting may not be ideal, and believe me, i would have much prefered to do this at your home, but it's necessary for an unbiased investigation, " he explained before reaching for the file on the table, flicking through the papers and photographs to locate his notes. " i need to ask you some questions about hope, obviously, but they're mainly about the relationships she had with others. real easy questions, i promise. but like i mentioned before, we can stop whenever you want to. "

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micah raised his eyebrows at the other, snorting, "well, considerin' i don't work at an office, good luck with that one. though, i can pretend i do. ya know, for a price or somethin' in return. i can act." he glanced around as if trying to figure out what this potential threat was, "why you acting so fucking cagey anyway? the cops want you for the murder or some shit?" he asked.

chasen didn’t make asking for favors a habit. the last thing he needed was to be in debt to someone in a town so small it didn't have an expressway to get the hell out of dodge—but some emergencies couldn’t be avoided. “if anyone asks,” he glanced over his shoulder, instinctively, and pursed his lips like he was about to get a root canal. “i was in your office discussing...business?" his nose scrunched as he contemplated the plausibility this impromptu scenario before continuing, "all day. got it?”  

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"well, i didn't say the competition was steep." he chuckled, grinning down at her. if anyone looked over, they'd probably say his behavior wasn't appropriate for the occasion. not that he cared. he laughed, nodding, "you're probably right, but you're still allowed to be fuckin' sad if ya want, maeve. this is pretty sad." naturally, "hope haunting me would be kinda funny, though. i would mess with her right back, make a space so inhospitable to a ghost."

❝            chill on the ' g word ' , dude. ❞ as if drawing attention to it made it worse. ❝ the brains compared to you, ❞ she teased. the step into his side was subtle as her arm wrapped around his waist. ❝ are you kidding me ? she's probably sitting in front of a flat screen in hell taking attendance. ❞ at least, that's the kind of excuse maeve would give to justify the fact she wanted to be there. the fact she ached for a goodbye that she would never get. it would always be one-sided, like most of their time with hope alive. ❝ you're welcome for saving you from being haunted, by the way. ❞

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"oh c'mon, i can be altruistic. you dunno what my motivations are." and for this, at least, he was in it for what he considered a good reason. he lifted his eyebrows then, "she was kind to you? hm, interesting. good for you then, abril." he snorted, "a friendly face... see? you know i can be altruistic! you see it. my kindness, my friendliness... wow, straight to the core of my good soul."

"only when it benefits you or when you want something," she pointed out with a small smile. it wasn't intended to come out as a criticism or slight towards micah. if anything, it had been a harmless observation she'd made from the time they had spent getting to know one another. he was clearly growing on her. "i was the lucky one. she was so kind to me and so special to this town." not in the mood to be teased by him, she decided not to elaborate on what kind of relationship she had with hope, certainly not at hope's funeral. "i'm really glad to see you, micah. it's nice to see a friendly face, even if it's yours," she teased.

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"well, still, it's very thoughtful." veronica told the younger woman with a nod. she listened to her, immediately shaking her head at the apology, "no, no, don't. i, uh... i understand where they're coming from completely. i feel like i'm about to wrap ren in bubblewrap and never let her leave the house again." though, for that to happen, ren would actually have to spend a significant amount of time with her, but people outside of the family did not need to know that, "hope would have wanted something good to come out of this," she didn't know if that was true, but it sounded good enough, "and bringing families closer is a good thing. a good enough thing."

“it’s not much but my mom insisted on making her famous casserole and cookies.” the smiles and niceties made maya feel weird, like if she didn’t know better she would have thought veronica was being genuine but there’s a part of her that is doubtful. didn’t that make her a hypocrite because here she is doing the exact same thing that she’s accusing of veronica for doing. “i’m…” she paused thinking about her answer. saying that she was good felt weird when she was talking to a grieving mother. “i’m okay ⎯ we’re okay, i guess. my parents are a little on overdrive protective parent mode after everything that happened and i guess it’s kind of making us appreciate each other more.” she heard the words as they came out of her mouth and cringed, it felt so tone deaf to say something like that to veronica at this time. “sorry, i didn’t mean to ⎯”

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veronica nodded gratefully at him, tempted to say that most of the people were there for her in the way people are there for lions at the zoo. though, she was sure theo understood that. everyone there was looking at him like he was a murderer. she set her hand on his arm gently, shaking her head, "no... no, i know you'll miss her. in a different way, of course, but you two meant a lot to one another." then she gave him a wry smile, shaking her head, "she would've been the best dressed too. the center of all the action." she swallowed hard and cleared her throat, dropping her hand, "i hope you're holding up ok, theo."

"some of these people are really here for you." theo offered the comfort, wondering if it was even worth something. he had it on the tip of his tongue. he's sorry for how his last conversation with hope went, could she absolve him of this? could someone, anyone? the guilt of it sat on him like an elephant but it also didn't stop him from wanting to move on from her as fast as possible. he had already found solace with someone else and hope was laying in a morgue. "i am. i mean, i won't... miss her like you do. but i'm here for you and for hope. and i mean, she would love knowing she showed up one of your events. you know?" he bit the inside of his cheek to hide the cringe at the lame joke.

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veronica hummed, a shrug rolling off of her shoulders, "i think it's common practice. some thing that murderers do- go to funerals." she refrained from pointing out that she had previously warned her daughter of the judgment and the police presence. now wasn't the time. the day had been too long and the emotions too high. she wasn't interested in fighting with her surviving daughter today.

at the mention of javier, she furrowed her brow, "he seems to be the only officer actually concerned with finding out who did this." he had also been the only one veronica had been willing to talk to, but that was beside the point. she sighed, "i think he's just watching out for us."

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ren had been a good girl. she put on the stupid designer dress. she sat in the front row of the stupid cathedral. she sang all the stupid songs. and she waited. she waited until they were home and hope had been 'put to rest' ( or whatever the fuck non-atheists believed in ) because even though she hadn't known hope, she still loved her in her own quiet way, and the last thing hope would've wanted was her final moment to be upstaged by mercer family drama. she wondered, as she dropped her black clutch onto the kitchen island with a loud clatter, if hope had confronted their mom before she died. "it's always so fuckin' weird to me that the police come to funerals," ren kicked off her heels, haphazardly throwing them in the vague direction of the hallway, and reached for one of the leftover crab cakes, "i mean, they already think one of us did it, so the least they can do is let us grieve however the fuck we want without being there to judge it." she glanced up at her mom, propping her cheek on top of her knuckles as she chewed, "lieutenant rojas seemed particularly vigilant. felt like he never took his eyes off of you."

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"a formality... so i'm not a suspect in the brutal murder of my own daughter? thanks, javi. means a whole lot." veronica deadpanned, nails drumming against the table. calls from javier weren't usually crime related. she didn't like this setting (even with a roleplay idea in mind). she wrapped her hands around the coffee mug, "thanks. it's fine." she didn't lift it to her mouth, just holding it in her hands on the table. she wondered, briefly, if maybe she should have called her lawyer. she let a breath out of her nose, "so what kind of questions should i expect?" veronica shrugged, "couldn't have just come to my house and asked?"

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" i want to make it clear that you're not under arrest, and this interview is purely a formality. " interviews — javier usually didn't conduct them, but when veronica had agreed to come in to help with the investigation, he couldn't let anyone else handle it. with the recording device coincidentally disappearing a day before the interview, it seemed that perhaps javi was looking out for the other... or it was simply misplaced. " if at any point you feel uneasy or wish to end this interview, you have the right to do so. your comfort and agency are, of course, of the utmost importance to the department. "

setting down a cup of coffee in front of veronica, he manoeuvred his way around the table to take a seat across from her, pointing at the drink he'd just placed down. " sorry in advance; the good coffee machine's broken, so it's just drip. hope that's okay. "

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𝐍𝐎𝐖  𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆  :  𝐦𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐡 𝐚𝐡𝐮𝐣𝐚  .

the  “  i think you're my best friend ”  chapter  .

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THE KIDS AREN'T ALRIGHT —   FALL OUT BOY  !

❝               & in the end , i'd do it all again . i think you're my best friend . don't you know that the kids aren't alright ? i'll be yours . when it rains it pours , stay thirsty like before . don't you know that the kids aren't alright ? i'm not passive but aggressive . take note , it's not impressive . empty your sadness like you're dumping your purse on my bedroom floor . ❞

COMFORT CROWD —   CONAN GRAY  !

❝               telling you " i'm fine , i don't really need nobody " but you say through a sigh that i said that lie already . i just needed company now . yeah , i just needed someone around . i don't care what song that we play or mess that we make , just company now . comfort crowd . we rot , thinkin' lots about nothing . yeah , i could spend a lifetime sitting here talkin' and even if i cry all over your body , you don't really mind . say you like your shirt soggy . ❞

TEAM —   LORDE  !

❝               i'm kind of older than i was when i reveled without a care , so there . we live in cities you'll never see on - screen . not very pretty , but we sure know how to run things . livin' in ruins of a palace within my dreams and you know , we're on each other's team ! ❞

WHEN I LOOK AT YOU —   MILEY CRYUS  !

❝               when i look at you , i see forgiveness . i see the truth . you love me for who i am like the stars hold the moon right there where they belong & i know i'm not alone . yeah , when my world is falling apart . when there's no light to break up the dark , that's when i look at you . when the waves are flooding the shore & i can't find my way home anymore , that's when i look at you . ❞

400 LUX —   LORDE  !

❝               you pick me up and take me home again , head out the window again . we're hollow like the bottles that we drain . you drape your wrists over the steering wheel . pulses can drive from here . we might be hollow , but we're brave . i love these roads where the houses don't change where we can talk like there's something to say . i'm glad that we stopped kissing the tar on the highway . we move in the tree streets , i'd like it if you stayed . ❞

SOMEONE TO STAY —   VANCOUVER SLEEP CLINIC  !

❝               you were alone , left out in the cold clinging to the ruin of your broken home . too lost & hurting to carry your load . we all need someone to hold . you've been fighting the memory , all on your own . nothing worsens , nothing grows . i know how it feels being by yourself in the rain . we all need someone to stay . hear the fallen & lonely cry out " will you fix me up ? will you show me hope ? " at the end of the day , you were helpless . can you keep me close ? can you love me most ? you've drunk it down and you've spat it out . nothing tastes like the things you had . so tear it off , why don't you let them go ? we all need someone to stay . ❞

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"i've got the cash. happy to bankroll my grieving pal." micah teased her with a gentle smile. it was the only non-selfish use of his cash anyway- even when he bought women drinks, it was self-serving ultimately. he frowned then, slinging his arm loosely around maeve's shoulders with a slight shake of his head, "you're not a fuckin' idiot- you're the brains of the operation, don't you forget it." he sighed, "grief is fucking weird, ok? bein' here isn't wrong, not bein' here also wouldn't be wrong. but... she doesn't have that over you anymore. like, it's fucked that she's gone, but you don't have to worry about what she thinks anymore. she doesn't know if you're here or not."

maeve rolled her eyes at the all too familiar nickname. ❝            shut up before someone hears you and thinks it’s okay. ❞ the flask tucked back into her jacket. ❝ i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but i think this is the best mercer hollow is gonna give for a while. if not ever. ❞ the next person in town to die, probably someone’s poor grandparent, silently rolled into a ditch because people would probably still be mourning hope. ❝ i’m holding you to that, dude. ❞ though she didn’t have any doubt he’d follow through. even if he was just signing himself up for an expensive bad night.

but his question wipes the grin off her face as she had to consider it. no, obviously. she was far from alright. ❝ i feel like a fucking idiot, ❞ she admitted. ❝ she stood me up and then ignored me at her party. what am i even doing here ? why am i still showing up for her ? ❞ but maeve don’t have the luxury of unravelling into grief like other’s did. she couldn’t openly mourn because hope wouldn’t openly admit any kind of relationship between the two. a deep sigh before maeve settled on a better answer to his question, ❝ i’ll be fine. ❞

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"never said it was." micah replied- he didn't know enough about hope's inner circle to make a fair assertion anyway. then he snorted, "that's what i'm known for, my kindness." to maeve, though, he could on occasion be kind. with abril, too, though he wasn't exactly sure why, "well, i'm sure the late, great hope mercer was very lucky to have you, abril." she was probably more than the dead girl had deserved.

she raised a manicured brow at him before shrugging it off. it wasn't the time nor the place to question him. "it's not a crime to have friends," she stated quietly. though, maybe having a lot of friends was a sinister telltale sign that some of those friends were actually enemies in disguise. no one had come to mind who'd fit the description but the rumination was there. after all, there was a cost to be a pretty and influential woman, just like hope mercer. "that's real nice of you, micah." she didn't dare ask who he was there to support. abril knew better than to open that can of worms. "that person's real lucky to have you."

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"uh huh, took the words right out of my dirty, terrible mouth." he clicked his tongue, nodding in a faux sad way, "glad she got to experience how incredible i truly am at least once before the end." it may have seemed insensitive, but when wasn't he? couldn't change just on account of hope being gone. micah looked around, "pretty good turnout." even more than her birthday party.

ren didn't enjoy their verbal spars simply because micah seemed to thoroughly enjoy them. she did her best not to let the prickle of irritation spread to her face, but a scowl came so naturally to her when he was in her direct line of sight. "yeah," she sighed wistfully, "hope was the best of us in every way." she paused, for effect, and then said, "well, almost every way. she always did have terrible taste."

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Veronica nodded, "That's very sweet of you." She gave Lucia's hand a pat before dropping her wrist, "It's good to know there are good, caring people like you going into the field she felt so passionately about." Admittedly, Veronica didn't know the younger woman very well. But this was her specialty. The perfect wife and mother, acting as if each and every person had a special place in her heart as they so clearly had in Hope's, "I'm glad all of you can carry on her legacy."

Lucia had spent the entirety of this funeral torn between the desperate desire to turn around and leave like she'd never been there and the desire to make at least a few people look a little less miserable. Now that the choice had been taken from her with Mrs. Mercer's hand around her wrist like an iron shackle, Lucia gave the grieving mother a small smile, one side of it twitching like it didn't want to be there. "Well," she said slowly, trying to find words that wouldn't spill from her lips like poison. "It just... Didn't seem right not coming to see her off. It..." She bit her lip, determined to keep some of her thoughts under lock and key, hidden away until the sun forgot them. Now wasn't the time to be a bitch. "The medical field is pretty tight-knit. I guess I wanted to make sure she was treated as kindly as she treated her patients." The words burned with their falsehood, stinging Lucia's throat and lips as she said them.

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cozy with the lieutenant. cozy didn't even begin to cut it when it came to him. veronica hummed, "yes. well... they would have to do their jobs and catch the monster first, right?" she wasn't so sure that was going to happen, "but it would be something. a little vigilante justice." she let out a wry chuckle- the best she could muster.

❝            yeah, of course. ❞ standing in front of veronica mercer was the first time she had actually been glad hope would never talk about her. ' you'd hate me ' was the thought burning at the front of maeve's mind. ❝ i hear the lieutenant is pretty chill. ❞ from personal experience, though he wasn't her biggest fan today. ❝ i bet if you cozy up or slipped him some cash, he'd let you take a hit at the guy after they catch him. might make you feel a little better. ❞

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"i'm well aware. though, i think you should be careful threatening a mercer." she may not have been one by blood, but her husband wasn't going to divorce her- especially now. she took a long sip of her drink, fingers bristling on the stem, "in case you forgot, we're talking about the murder of my daughter, so sorry i'm not considering getting dicked down right now." she wasn't usually so crass, but it was different between her and javier. zero to one hundred. as usual.

" as long as the both of us keep our mouths shut, i'll be fine. besides, if they ever were to find out, you know i'm taking you down with me, v. " it wasn't a threat that slipped passed javier's lips, but it certainly was an attempt to gently remind veronica that he wouldn't hesitate to drag her under the bus with him — there's a difference, right ? he took a swig of his whisky, his gaze fixed on the remaining amber liquid swirling in the glass. " i'm the last thing on your mind ? ouch, i don't know if you should be insulting a lieutenant like that, especially if you want 'em on your side. "

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"thank you, julien." she gave him a solemn smile, looking up at him. she was familiar with him- even if he hadn't been hope's boyfriend for awhile- but she'd never particularly had a problem with him. he was tall and handsome (the only two traits that mattered) and the kind of person she had wanted for hope at the time. she let out a wry chuckle, nodding, "yes, the whole neighborhood has made sure i'm stocked up on enough meals to last me a lifetime. it's really too kind." though, most of the meals were not nearly up to par with that of the family's personal chef, "everyone has been very giving."

julien wondered what the point was to these things, when the people who probably needed to be alone the most were forced to make niceties saying the same thing repeatedly that it blurred the lines of sincerity. and since he was hope’s ex, it wasn’t like he was a stranger to any of the mercer clan, so he forced himself to approach mother mercer herself. “ i’m sorry for your loss, mrs. mercer. “ his eyes flickered down as he wondered would hope have really given a shit if he or anyone was really there? that was the million dollar question. “ of course. your daughter meant a lot to a lot of people. i know it seems pointless to ask, so i’m sure not many people are asking, but how are you? are you eating, drinking plenty of water? “