fckyouiwontdowhatyoutellme
unhinged shitposting goblin
3K posts
!NOT UP TO DATE WITH ONE PIECE! 25/ he/they /yes this is mostly shipping stuff, theoretical hornyness and stupid ass headcannons. i'm probably the horniest asexual you know. sometimes i post fics. i don't bite...often. so talk to me. disclaimer: if you don't like what i post just fuck off instead of being mean. (another disclaimer: this is a sideblog for @majesticenbypancake)
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He’s so pretty I’m gonna bake him Christmas cookies and suck his dick
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fckyouiwontdowhatyoutellme · 2 months ago
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let the fire enter you
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Day 27 of Kikitober
A/N: just a rather short one shot (at least for me) I wrote during lunch break that's why this probably sucks
Plot: Kid wants to warm Killer up alongside taking care of his body
Warnings: wax play, body worship, bondage, bj and anal mentioned MDNI
Characters: Kid x Killer
Killer was already regretting to let Kid try something new.
But now it was too late. He lay on his bed the room dimly lit by some candles. Hands tied to the headboard, his ankels to the bedposts spreading his legs. Warm air caressing his naked body.
Usually Killer would never let anyone tie him up but this way but this was Kid and he knew that he could trust him.
"Ready?" Kid asked eager as he leaned next to Killers body.
Killer nodded.
"Once I get started there's no turning back" the younger man said smiling smugly.
"Just get it over with"
"As you wish, but first we need to get rid of this" and with a swift move Kid removed Killer's mask.
"Need to see the desperation in your eyes" Kid taunted.
"Fucking asshole" Killer snapped making Kid chuckle
The captain grabbed a candle holding it rather far from Killers body and slowly dripped wax on his chest. The latter gasped at the sudden warm feeling.
"How does it feel" Kid asked though he already knew the answer after watching Killer's expression.
"Good" Killer hummed. The hot wax feeling like a tingle followed by a soothing warmth.
Kid smiled. "Think you can take more heat" he asked.
"Let's find out" Killer teased.
The sight of the wax slowly dripping from the candle onto Killer's muscular body made Kid shiver.
He carefully moved the candle a little closer - increasing the warmness of the wax as it dripped onto Killers chest again.
The blonde let out a small moan. Kid decided to create a small path with the wax moving it from his chest down his body always looking up at Killer to see if he hurt him.
Though the first mate was caught up in the sensation. The change of height from which the wax was dropped caused a complete new sensation, almost feeling like someone's biting his skin.
The anticipation of not knowing when or sometimes even where the next drop will land caused a strong feeling of arousal in Killer.
His cock twitched as Kid started to let some drops fall onto his thighs. Killer pulled at the ropes that bound him.
"Seems you're enjoying this" Kid mocked him, dripping more on Killer's immobilized body.
"Fuck" Killer grunted.
Kid decided to pick it up a notch. He gently removed some of the wax and rubbed the marks it left carefully with one hand. Killer hummed relaxing into his touch.
But he should've known better that this was just some sort of false comfort.
Kid again dripped wax on his thighs while his tongue licked along his upper body - the same path the wax was applied to. Killer jerked surprised by the feeling. Stopping at his nipple before he attacked the tender skin.
Tongue swirling around it then putting it in his mouth biting down on it.
"Kid" Killer gasped, pulling at his restraints. Kid looked at him a devilish grin on his face. He put the candle aside.
"You should be warm enough by now" Kid grumbled as he positioned himself between Killers legs.
He leaned over his body placing his metal arm right next to the blondes head steadying himself with it. His other started to teasingly remove the wax from his thighs.
The feeling of the wax being pulled off was a mix of pleasure and pain making Killer's breath hitch.
"I've heard that the skin is more sensitive after some wax play." Kid said as he gently skittered his fingertips over Killers inner thighs sending a wave of pleasure through his body.
"Guess it's true" Kid smirked as he continued to move his fingers higher and higher teasingly brushing his cock.
"Fuck" Killer hissed through gritted teeth. Pulling harder at his bonds.
Kid started to nibble at Killer's neck, biting him and then put kisses along his collarbone before focusing on his nippels again. All while his hand snaked along his waistline.
Killer hissed and moaned, back arching, desperatly tugging at his bonds. He wasn't sure how much longer he could take this agonizingly slow torture.
Luckily Kid couldn't contain himself any longer. The teasing that was meant to drive Killer crazy seemed to do just the same to him.
With a feral growl he sucked Killer off before removing the bonds pushing Killer onto his stomach and fucking him sensless.
In the end both of them collapsed on the bed, a smile on their faces.
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fckyouiwontdowhatyoutellme · 3 months ago
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Imagining an angsty pining Steve who’s breaking his own heart because he refuses to tell anyone, including Robin, about his feelings for Eddie. He thinks it’s pointless, unrequited, and stupid. He keeps watching the people around him fall in love and be happy and it makes these feelings for Eddie so much worse.
He suffers for weeks, months, too long, before Eddie finally gets the opportunity of a lifetime. Which means he’s getting out of Hawkins after all.
Even on his last day, when Eddie hesitates, tears welling in his eyes like he wants to say something, Steve still keeps his feelings locked up.
Robin knows something is wrong, tries to pull it out of Steve, but he stays locked tight.
It’s only when Eddie invites everyone to Chicago, a year later, to watch his new band perform, that Steve finally cracks.
Steve sneaks backstage to find Eddie and congratulate him, a secret moment between old friends, when he accidentally sees something he’s sure he wasn’t supposed to see. Something Eddie wouldn’t want him to see.
Eddie’s crowding a slightly shorter man in the dark hallway, his lips attached to the man’s neck most likely leaving marks on his skin.
The possibilities of what could have been, flash before Steve’s eyes.
He feels the walls closing in on him as the shine of Eddie’s spit glares off the stranger’s neck. Steve pushes his feet backwards, needing to escape quickly. He nearly crashes into someone when he rushes through the exit.
He can’t hold the feelings in any longer. It’s been too long. He needs Robin.
She’s kind, caring, listens to his fears, brushes away his tears, and never teases him. He expected her to, expected a jab or two, but she loves him too much to pour salt on his wound.
They go home early. Blame some made up family emergency and drive through the night until the streetlights of Hawkins come into view.
Eddie calls, writes, tries to get in touch, but Steve blames timing. Gives excuses to cover the ache in his chest from losing his chance and his friend.
It takes nearly another year before Steve crawls out of the darkness of heartbreak. Another year before he runs across Eddie Munson again.
He’s standing outside an apartment building, waiting for the realtor, when he hears his name being yelled from across the street. He turns to see Eddie, waving wildly with both hands. Steve’s surprised he doesn’t feel a pang of hurt at the sight, but instead a warm hug around his heart. He’s missed Eddie’s presence.
“Where have you been?”
“Around”
The exchange is comfortable but stilted, like a conversation between strangers who used to know each other. Steve finds himself still looking over the man, though. Taking in the twitch of a lip, the frizz of the curls, and the new tattoos etched across Eddie’s skin.
He’s still breathtaking. Steve won’t deny. But this time he’s not hiding away, curled in the corner of his closet. No, this time, Steve’s comfortable in his skin and who he’s attracted to.
“You still look good.” He says with an easy smirk.
“You saying I looked good before?”
Steve nods, not an ounce of hesitation in his movement. Eddie tilts his head, eyes narrowing, trying to piece this puzzle together.
They’re interrupted by the person Steve was waiting for, but Steve promises he’ll call. And he does. Again. Again. And several more times.
They talk on the phone nearly every day. Filling each other in on everything they’ve missed. The small things, the big things, and everything in between. Apparently Steve wasn’t the only one who missed this friendship.
Eddie drives down to help Steve (and Robin) pack up their belongings and move to the big city. Steve put a deposit down on the apartment he visited on the day Eddie ran into him. It felt like a sign. A sign Steve couldn’t ignore.
Once they moved in, the phone calls don’t stop, but now that they’re so close, Eddie spends time at the apartment regularly. There’s never a weekend where the boys aren’t together. Steve’s either at Eddie’s or Eddie’s pushing Robin’s feet off the couch to make room for himself.
It happens 6 months later. Steve realizes the feelings are back in full force. But this time? This time he refuses to hide them away.
It looks like any other night. The two of them finishing up a delivery pizza, a movie flickering light across Eddie’s face, when Steve can’t hold it in any longer.
“I’m in love with you.”
He sounds as soft as Eddie’s smile looks when Steve chances glancing to his side.
“Yeah?”
Steve’s never heard Eddie sound so anxious. He used every ounce of strength to say the words so now he can only nod.
Eddie’s soft smile grows wider until he’s moving. Then Steve’s cheeks are covered with ringed fingers and Eddie’s closer than he’s ever been before.
“Steve.” Eddie’s voice cracks as a tear slides down his cheek. “I have to tell you. I have loved you, for so long. I loved you when I helped carry your couch into that apartment. I loved you when I saw you standing on that side walk staring up at the side of that building. I loved you when we kept missing each other. When the only thing we did was play phone tag. I loved you when you drove 6 hours just to see my band play. I loved you when I watched you disappear in my rear view mirror. I’ve been in love with you for years Steve.”
“Kiss me.”
And they do. And it’s better than anything Steve ever imagined.
Steve never holds his feelings in again. Instead, telling everyone he cares about how important they are to him. He tells Dustin he loves him. He tells Max he’s proud of her. He tells Erica she’s his favorite.
And every day, multiple times a day, he tells Eddie he loves him. For years and years.
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fckyouiwontdowhatyoutellme · 3 months ago
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a post about when someone tags someone else on your post
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fckyouiwontdowhatyoutellme · 3 months ago
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🚗💕 making memories
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fckyouiwontdowhatyoutellme · 7 months ago
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quick doodle between commissions and exam work !
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fckyouiwontdowhatyoutellme · 7 months ago
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It's 3am. It's pouring down rain. Steve's soaked to the skin, been wandering the city for most of the night, hasn't slept in almost 24 hours, thinks maybe he's on the brink of delirium, and then a truck hits a pool of ponded water, sending a muddy wave cascading over him.
He just wants to go home but Dustin lost his dog and he can't leave a puppy out in this weather.
Steve steps off the curb, and what looks like a shallow puddle turns out to be a water-filled hole. He crashes towards the pavement, nothing he can do to stop it. As fast he's falling, he's miraculously not, arms wrapped around his waist. It takes a second for his brain to catch up, to understand that he's being held upright in an old-fashioned, romantic dip.
"Careful, sweetheart," a deep and smoke raspy voice says from above him.
it sends chills down his spine, the good kind, and warmth slips through him. His rescuer is a solid 10 knockout. Long, curly hair; eyeliner; decked out in leather and studs and chains. He smells like booze and cigarettes and weed, and it's intoxicating. Steve has to fight the instinct to nuzzle the guy's leather jacket. He's beautiful, holds Steve with the swagger only a guy with rings on every finger could pull off.
And Steve is a mud soaked mess in sweatpants and a threadbare Hawkins High tee. But the guy holding him isn't letting go. He stares down at Steve, brown eyes wide.
"Steve!" A voice calls over the patter of the rain.
"Dustin?" He says at the same time that the man holding him says, "Henderson?"
"Eddie?" Dustin asks.
"Wait, dnd Eddie?" Steve gets his feet under him, but Eddie's arms don't drop.
"You're the famous babysitter Steve I've been hearing all about?"
They gape at each other until Dustin reaches them.
"What are you still doing out here?" Dustin shouts. "We found Dart hours ago."
"Dustin!" He thinks he might cry. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"You weren't answering your walkie!"
"Fuck." Steve drops his face to his hand. The walkie. Which is on the table by the front door where he and Robin leave their keys.
Steve swallows his frustration, the misery of waterlogged shoes, having to be up to open the store in a few hours, meeting the hottest guy he's ever seen when he looks like a drowned rat.
"I promised I'd find Dart, didn't I? Now what the hell are you doing out so late?"
"Mom and I were looking for you!"
"Let's get you back to the car, man, okay?" Steve says to Dustin. He wants to end this weird, terrible, embarrassing night before it gets even more humiliating.
"I can give you a ride home," Eddie says. He's got this weird, intense look on his face, staring at Steve.
"I'm only a few blocks away. I'll be fine. C'mon, Henderson."
"Oh, I can walk him. You head home."
He nods, starts towards his apartment, but turns back just in time to see Eddie and Dustin share a look he can't parse.
---
A few days later, Dustin's following him around at work, chattering about dnd as Steve shelves books, and without taking a breath during a soliloquy about owl bears, says, "Eddie's running a one-shot for us next week. You should come! It's a great way to get into the game."
"I'm not playing dnd," Steve answers. He slides a book onto the shelf. "I've told you this."
"Yeah, but you liked Eddie, right? He'd help you out!"
Steve squints at the kid. "I didn't really meet Eddie to know. Anyway, I'm sure he doesn't want a newbie crashing."
Steve is pretty sure Eddie doesn't like him, based on their short introduction, so he's not interested in forcing himself into the guy's dnd club. The night they met was humiliating enough, Steve in all his dorky glory.
"No, he totally wouldn't care. C'mon, Steve!"
"No can do." He ruffles Dustin's hair as he walks away.
He thinks that'll be the end of it, but every few days, for weeks Dustin and all the rest of the kids stop at the store to beg him to join their dnd club.
---
Steve is working the register and he hears the shuffling clank of a customer, looks up and finds Eddie. He's staring at Steve with that same look from the night they met, intense and piercing, cutting straight through the heart of him. He feels himself start to blush.
The first thing out of Eddie's mouth is, "Wait, this is your store?"
"Yeah?" Steve asks. "Is that--is that weird?"
"No! Not at all. It's a good store. Cute." His nose wrinkles when he says it and Steve's blush grows hotter. He knew Eddie thought he was a dork.
"Cute. Yeah. Right. Can I help you with something?"
Eddie rocks back on his heels, hands going to the pockets of his leather jacket, sending his chains jingling. "Oh, so, actually I wanted to see if you were busy?"
"Yeah, man. I'm busy." He laughs, doesn't intend to be mean about it, but he and Robin only opened the store six months ago and both take night classes at the local community college. Plus, everything he does with the kids.
Eddie's face flushes bright. "Oh, sure, of course. Yeah, I--I'll see you around."
The door thunks to a close behind him, and a voice immediately pops up to ask, "What the hell was that?"
He turns to find Max Mayfield hands on hips, glaring up at him, Robin close behind.
"Shouldn't you be in school?"
Max rolls her eyes and strides up to the counter. "Why were you an asshole to Eddie?"
"He started it!"
"I highly doubt that."
"Okay, Ms. Know-it-all, why don't you tell me what happened?"
"I know for a fact that Eddie came in today to ask you out. So, tell me, Steve Harrington, why he rushed out of here looking like a kicked puppy?"
"What?" He yelps. "Eddie doesn't even like me!"
She glares. "Doesn't like you? He's been pathetic about you since you met."
He gapes at Robin. "Don't look at me," she shrugs. "But that guy was definitely here to ask you out."
"Fix it." Max commands as she stomps out the door. "He bar tends at that metal place on 68th."
---
It's just after 9pm and he's at the metal bar on 68th, decidedly out of place in the yellow t-shirt and jeans he wore to his business accounting class.
It's fairly busy for a weeknight, but Eddie's not hard to find. He's obviously in his element, bobbing his head to a song Steve's never heard as he mixes a drink.
With a hard swallow and a healthy dose of humility, he walks up to the bar.
"Be right--" Eddie starts, balking when he notices Steve.
"Can we talk?" he shouts over the music.
Eddie's eyes widen a little, but he nods, slips out from behind the bar to guide him to an employee exit.
"What's up, Steve?" Eddie asks. His hands are in his pockets, shoulders bowed in.
"I wanted to apologize."
"What for?"
"Earlier, I--when you said the store was cute I thought you were making fun of me."
"But--why?"
"I thought you didn't like me." Steve cringes at the admission.
"What?" He laughs.
"I don't know. We met in the middle of the night and I was covered in mud looking for a dog that wasn't lost anymore."
"Steve. Holy shit." Eddie shakes his head. "You looked gorgeous that night. The way your clothes were sticking--you know what? Never mind. Did you think I wanted you to come to dnd because I hated you?"
"You wanted me to come?"
"Dustin didn't..."
"No! And he's been asking me to play dnd weekly for the past five years."
"Jesus Christ," Eddie slumps agains the brick wall at his back. "No wonder you turned me down today."
"To be fair," Steve slumps next to him. "If I had realized you were asking me out, I wouldn't have turned you down."
"No?" Eddie asks. His brown eyes gleam.
"Definitely not. I've had a crush on you since that night. Sort of devastating since I thought you didn't like me." Steve runs his hand through his hair, watches Eddie track the movement.
"The store is cute, Steve. I--uh--I've been a few times. Back before I knew you were the owner! I just kept seeing a hot employee with great hair and a perfect ass, and the vaguely mean lesbian barista gives me free drinks."
"That's Robin," Steve says. He's smiling so hard.
"I know that now," Eddie smiles back. "Sorry for being an idiot."
"Me too." Steve nods. "Do you--could I still come to dnd? Or take you out sometime?"
"Why not both?" Dimples pop on Eddie's cheeks, and Steve's heart flips.
"I like both." They're still against the wall, but drifting into each other's space.
"So Dustin said."
It surprises a laugh out of Steve. "I'm gonna kill him."
"Too bad. He's a nice kid."
"Eh, we've got six more to choose from."
"I have a few more hours here, but there's a diner down the street that does some of the most mediocre pancakes I've ever tasted. Meet me there? Around 2?"
"A thousand lost puppies wouldn't make me miss it."
The next time Steve is out at 3am he's pressed against a building, Eddie kissing him so thoroughly he knows he's never recovering from this one.
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fckyouiwontdowhatyoutellme · 7 months ago
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GIFTOBER 2023
DAY THIRTY-ONE: FREE CHOICE
A timeline of DONALD GLOVER and MILES MORAELS
Spider-Man 3 (2007) / The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) / Donald Glover: Weirdo (2012) / Community 2x01 "Anthropology 101" (2010) / Ultimate Fallout #4 (2011) / "Not Going Back" Live Performance (2011) / Ultimate Spider-Man 3x11 "The Spider-Verse: Part Three" (2015) / Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) / Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018) / Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023)
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fckyouiwontdowhatyoutellme · 7 months ago
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do you ever think about how Kid's hair is literally the perfect length to get a fistful of and yank on. like when you want to rile him up, or get his attention, or tell him he's being a jackass. or when you need something to hold onto because he's railed all the sense out of you and you're not sure how else to stay on this plane of existence. do y'all ever think about that or
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fckyouiwontdowhatyoutellme · 8 months ago
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After some party where the Kid and Heart pirates celebrated together:
Heat: hmm...last night. I dreamed someone gave me a damn good handjob
Wire: huh?...me too
Shachi, who passed out between them: funny, I dreamed I was skiing...
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fckyouiwontdowhatyoutellme · 8 months ago
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gasoline
Prompt: top | word count: 510 | rated: E | tags: dry humping, mutual pining | @steddiemicrofic | ao3
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
When Eddie lunged at him for his teasing, Steve let the momentum land him on his back with Eddie on top, pinning him to the floor.
For all Steve knew, it was just a mock wrestling match, innocent and harmless.
But Eddie’s unexpected strength left him thinking. About what, he couldn't figure out yet.
By the time Eddie released him, he was already half-hard. He had returned to his room and jerked off to the feeling of being pinned down by Eddie.
The next time when Steve was on his back and with Eddie above him again, he just… opened his legs slightly wider than necessary.
He wrapped them around Eddie's waist, welcoming the other to get in closer. He had no excuse other than the heat that pooled in his stomach, anticipating what was to come.
Eddie didn't disappoint. He ground his crotch into Steve's, prompting them both to moan breathlessly.
“Sorry–”
“Don't,” he cut Eddie off and dug his heels into Eddie's lower back. “We're just having fun, okay? So don't think too much about it.”
Eddie gave him a searching look. Whatever he found on Steve's face must be convincing enough, because he had doubled down and thrust his hips until they both came, moaning into each other's open mouths.
Since then, they started wearing only boxers in the privacy of their apartment.
It kind of escalated from there.
Every time, he would let Eddie tackle him to the floor, the couch, and even the bed.
When his boxers ended up soaked with their mixed release, he would try to pretend it didn't turn him on like no other.
But when he ran into a naked Eddie in their bathroom one day, he started having thoughts. Dangerous thoughts.
“What are you doing?” Eddie gaped at him.
Steve threw his boxers aside with a nonchalant shrug. “Just tired of having to wash it all the time.”
Eddie only stared at him, flush pink and leaking, for a few seconds before taking off his boxers as well.
“You're right, we can save more water this way.”
Stifling a laugh at his seriousness, Steve nodded. “Yeah, for the water bill.”
“For the water bill,” Eddie echoed in amusement and settled over Steve, trapping their rigid cocks between their stomachs.
This close, Steve could see the freckles on Eddie's nose, the caramel in Eddie's eyes, and the blazing desire they both shared.
It was a wildfire, this feeling he had for Eddie, spreading in his chest and consuming his every fiber.
Sometimes, he felt like Icarus, flying too close to the sun.
But Steve was a moth drawn to the flame, a burning star that was Eddie Munson.
“Kiss me?” He whispered, hopeful.
Eddie moved faster, making him moan and tremble in mindless pleasure.
Then, hot lips were on him, eating the noises he made, sucking the breath out of his lungs.
“Sweetheart,” Eddie pecked his lips softly once they finished. “Go out with me?”
“It's a date?” Steve perked up.
“It's a date,” Eddie smiled fondly and kissed him again.
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fckyouiwontdowhatyoutellme · 8 months ago
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“My sweet.”
NSFW on Twitter
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fckyouiwontdowhatyoutellme · 8 months ago
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All time favorite niche headcannon:
Wire calls Heat 'dragon' as pet name, cause he spits fire and protects his treasure
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fckyouiwontdowhatyoutellme · 8 months ago
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shuggy you will be so special
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fckyouiwontdowhatyoutellme · 8 months ago
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saturday afternoon
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fckyouiwontdowhatyoutellme · 8 months ago
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Wire, WIRE, did eat out the new cook yet????
The one you had and have a crush on????
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"I don't kiss and tell... But I did get banned from the Kitchen for inappropriate behaviour."
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fckyouiwontdowhatyoutellme · 8 months ago
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Wire Culo
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