fckoffjosh - Tumblr blog

[fckoffjosh]

Okay, now that I’ve settled into the semester and work has stopped giving me stupid hours or any hours really, I finally have time to set up a proper introduction for my characters. Whoo! Under the cut are some point form information about the idiot that is known as Joshua Maximillian Levine. To see vis full bio, click here (still under construction tbh)! If you wanna plot with ver, like this, or just hmu!

Pronouns are ve/ver/vis, but is okay with he/him/his since ve gets that new viewers and watchers don’t know vis pronouns, and ve doesn’t really mind it--though ve expects long time watchers and vis friends refer to ver with vis proper pronouns

Born in Perth, Australia, but moved to Adelaide when ve was about five due to vis dad’s work--has a very stable and healthy relationship with vis parents

Was never the sharpest crayon in the box, but is a definite hard worker

Started out on YouTube, recording verself eating weird combinations of food and drinking weird concoctions that viewers and subscribers would suggest, and after a while started to take on other challenges that vis fans gave ver

Fellow YouTubers and fans saw what ve was doing with vis channel, and pointed ver in the direction of an app called NERVE, to which ve dived head first and joined

Aside from getting money from dares, Josh was given the opportunity to travel the world and take on dares from city to city, sponsored by an unknown watcher--an opportunity that ve didn’t turn down

Ve’s been travelling for almost a year, going where vis sponsor tells ver to go

Ve still doesn’t know who the watcher is, but ve isn’t asking any questions--not when ve’s being taken care of and having the time of vis life

[fckoffjosh]

best dare so far?

honesty hour 👀 anon or not I have to answer

“The one where I had to play with puppies while having meat juice on my face. So many puppy kisses!”

[fckoffjosh]

when/how did you loose your virginity?

honesty hour 👀 anon or not I have to answer

“Fourteen, when I was riding a bike and sat back down on the seat wrong, and… Well… You can put two and two together… So you heard it here first folks, I lost my virginity to a bike.”

[fckoffjosh]

top or bottom?

honesty hour 👀 anon or not I have to answer

“… Neither? Both? Whatever the fuck I’m in the mood for? What kind of question is this?”

[fckoffjosh]

if you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?

honesty hour 👀 anon or not I have to answer

“Idunno… I’ve eaten too many things to choose just one thing–maybe pizza? At least that way I can get some variety… Ooooh! Or ice cream sandwich cakes.”

[fckoffjosh]

one person you love more than anything:

honesty hour 👀 anon or not I have to answer

“Can I name myself? No? Then probably my mum.”

[fckoffjosh]

honesty hour 👀 anon or not I have to answer

[fckoffjosh]

Lydia.

‘’ You just want to see me naked, let’s be honest here’ she teased but was considering it. ‘Well, I haven’t done any charity in a while, so maybe I should streak with you, help the poor Joshes of the world get some real action’ of course she was joking but loved to mess with Josh. ‘Fine, but I’m covering myself with egg yolk and my top is staying on. My mom is going to call and ask what I have been doing all day, and I can’t tell her that some Josh was rubbing my body with elk yolk now can I?’. 

Josh thought about vis offer for a moment, then shook vis head. “Y’know what, nevermind; keep your shirt on. I don’t need to be blinded today,” ve stated, expression serious for a split moment before cracking into a grin. “Of course, I need all the action I could get, and let’s be real, jealousy is one hell of a motivator for giving someone action,” Josh mused. Giving her a look about keeping her explanation for why she’s keeping her shirt on, Josh had to think about her statement. “What the hell d’you reckon I tell my mum when she sees her child running stark naked down the streets in broad daylight in food?” Ve asked, picking up the bag of flour. It took ver a moment before grabbing a pinch and flicking some at her. “But you’re getting flour on you regardless, so whatever.” Ve grinned, giving her another flick.

[fckoffjosh]

Malory.

 Once Malory had escaped into a sketchy side alley she couldn’t stop laughing. ‘I actually WANTED to stay there, we were such a good theme. They totally thought we were screwing, give me a fucking oscar’ Malory did feel a little tired after yelling for 10 minutes straight and her throat was feeling sore, but nothing could ruin this day. ‘I haven’t had this much fun in a while’ she admitted, it was always about the money or attention but this dare was actually fun. ‘If this doesn’t get viral then I don’t know what will’ 

Waltzing through the crowd after Malory, Josh noticed the person she had handed her phone to was coming towards him. As ve headed towards them, ve made sure to bump into the person to grab their phones back. “Watch it!” Ve growled, feeling thoroughly terrible for snapping at someone innocent. Making a dash towards where he saw Malory headed off to, ve stuck the phones deep in vis pockets and turned the corner, entering the same alley that she had entered. When ve was sure no one could her ver, Josh burst out laughing. “Jesus-fuckin’-Christ! What the fuck was that slap for!?” Ve asked between vis laughter, the stinging of her hand on vis cheek still radiated off vis skin. “Can that be put up for an Oscar? Best short or whatever?” Ve continued as ve fished into vis pockets for her phone, handing it to her once ve pulled it out. “How much d’you get for that one?” Josh asked, pulling vis phone out after her to see that there was a confirmation that ve completed vis dare.

[fckoffjosh]

Scout.

      “ don’t worry, the police have enough players to deal with. a naked person caked in baking products is nothing. but whatever you say sergeant. ” scout winked, putting her hand to her forehead to salut vim. “ and IF i can keep up ?? please, say that to my abs and the receptionist that works at my local gym. anyway, let’s start with this dam flour. ” scout cracked open the bag of flour, taking a handful out and holding it directly in front of josh before blowing it directly in his face.

“Sergeant... I like the sound of that,” Josh nodded. Putting vis hands up in the air in mock surrender, ve chuckled. “Okay, ‘m just saying, you gotta keep up with a guy who might be evading the cops with a pretty big cheque on the line, so good luck keeping up, is all.” Josh was too busy with trying to figure out where to start, ve didn’t realise that Scout was about to blow flour at vis face. Squeezing vis eyes shut, Josh scrunched up vis face. “Not fair! You didn’t give me any warning!” Ve complained, slowly opening vis eyes, pouting at her.

[fckoffjosh]

Sawyer.

“I’m uh… not sure. What exactly do you need me to do?” Sawyer didn’t usually offer assistance to others when doing dares just because of how competitive he was. Especially since it’d been so long since he and Scarlett had completed a real dare. He hated the short and stupid dares, they did very little for his adrenaline addiction. Sawyer let his eyebrow raise as the other began to pull of vis shirt.

“It’s nothing weird, so don’t worry about it, dude,” Josh tried to assure Sawyer. “All I need you to do is help me with this dare--mainly by helping get this stuff to stick on me before I streak down the street... And I need someone I can trust to record it too.” Okay, so that was possibly the worst pitch in history, and that didn’t help vis claim that it wasn’t a weird request, but no one told ver that ve needed an excellent pitch to get someone to help ver out. “I mean, I can do it myself, but it’s the recording that might be hard--especially if I need someone to run the mile with me.”

[fckoffjosh]

Astrid.

        ❛ um.. sure, ❜ astrid agreed, albeit with a slight hesitation. prying her bag from her shoulder, she let it fall several feet away from the pair; the last thing she wanted was to ruin it and its contents. ❛ what do you want me to start with? ❜ she asked, picking up the box of eggs. ❛ i could smash these on your head, as long as you’re alright with that. ❜

Josh thought about it for a moment about what would be the most practical way to spread egg yolk on one’s body. After contemplating for a moment, ve nodded. “That’s not a bad idea. I mean it would be the most noticeable that I have eggs and feathers and flour on my head, and it could deter people from noticing other things,” ve pondered it a bit longer before giving her a final, definite nod. “That sounds like a great place to start!”

[fckoffjosh]

Malory.

‘,’ Boy am I GLAD that I said no to that proposal last week’’ Malory shouted and hit vim in the face. she hoped that he didn’t mind  '‘’ OH and you didn’t seem to MIND me fucking SANDRA when we were both FUCKING SANDRA’ she heard someone behind her gasp while some teenage boys were probably cheering Josh for getting two girls that night. Luckily she had quickly found a way to escape the scene when time ran up, she just walked out angrily after hitting Josh in his face and hoped that he’d go after her. to assure that he would she also managed to say ‘He’s not even running after me’ really loudly. 

It took everything in ver to keep from laughing--but the slap to the face helped him extremely well. While ve could hear people gasping and inquiring if they should break up the fight, ve narrowed vis eyes at Malory after ve recovered from the slap. “I didn’t mind you fucking Sandra? YOU wanted to have that threesome, so DON’T pin it on me!” Ve was yelling louder than ve had intended, but the slap had fueled ver acting. Ve stood for a moment, watching her walk away. Ve was about to turn the other direction and get lost in the crowd of watchers before rounding to find her again, but when ve heard her comment on how ve wasn’t following her, Josh’s expression hardened. Taking strides after her, ve huffed “oh, so now you WANT me to go after you? After you SLAPPED me?”

[fckoffjosh]

Nellie.

“that sounds disgusting, and i absolutely regret agreeing to this,” she grimaced. the thought of touching raw eggs had her nose scrunched and the corners of her mouth turned down. “wait, you have to do it naked? i am so glad i didn’t sign up to be a player.” this time her words were punctuated with a slight shudder as she observed the items ve had brought. “i guess we might as well get this over with. but i’m not covering you in eggs while you’re naked. that’s too much.”

“Hey, it could be worse; it could be like... Melted ice cream, or old yoghurt, or whatever.” Josh would much rather have eggs to be the substance that would be smeared on vis body. Ve gave her a blank look. “Well it wouldn’t be a dare if I ran down the street in clothes, would it?” Ve asked. “It’ll be fun though. B’sides, I needa be covered when I’m naked, or it’d be pointless when I take my clothes off,” ve pointed out, though Josh saw her point. “Maybe just help me with my back, then... I’ll deal with the rest after that’s done?” Ve was pretty sure that ve could cover verself pretty well--it was just a few places on vis back that ve couldn’t reach verself.

[fckoffjosh]

Aleksander.

         sometimes, it really DOES become difficult to stifle the inopportune, but dreadfully contagious laughter that bubbles & begs to break forth from behind the tight seal of chapped brims is almost too much. a few deep inhalations have the brunette’s usually phlegmatic façade once again collected, widened hues trained upon the other. “  i’ll help you get your back, but i’m … i’m not streaking down the street.  ”

“Aw come on!” Josh mimicked frustration, but vis upturned frown gave away how ve felt. “It’ll be fun; and think of the adrenaline rush that you’ll get.” Adrenaline rush, or just pure stupidity? To Josh, they were one and the same. “And it’ll be fun!” Ve sounded more enthusiastic than ve should have, but in vis defence, ve was making the best out of a situation that ve wasn’t too keen on being in.

[fckoffjosh]

Lydia.

Lydia shook her head and coughed because she inhaled some flour. ‘fine, but who’s going to film us? gosh Josh you always get me in these messed up situations, my watchers will like it though’ she took some yolk and smeared it over her shoulders. ‘but don’t think that I will streak, i am not doing you any more favours’ she with  in a serious tone but was joking. 

Josh had to think about it for a moment. “Good point... Maybe we can grab a watcher to film us or something--they’re littering the streets anyway,” ve suggested. Ve gave her the most innocent smile ve could muster, baring vis teeth at her while ve looked around. “Hey, I’m the one that’s making this fun for you, yeah? Just live a little! Run down the mile topless or something. It’s not like anyone’s gonna notice you when they got me to look at.” Was ve sounding cocky? Perhaps, but Josh was kidding for the most part. “You know doing this will get you more popular~”

[fckoffjosh]

Nellie.

“you better be,” she responded, a teasing grin on her face. “all the best dares come from that. in my opinion, i think it’s more fun to watch you all look like idiots than risk your lives, but to each their own.” she paused, pretending to ponder his offer. after all, she didn’t really need him to replace her shoes, she could do that easily herself. in fact, she probably had another pair almost identical in the back of her closet, but who was she to turn down free shoes. “alright, fine, we’ve got a deal. what exactly do you have to do?”

“Ever seen the cartoon where the dumb cat gets gets honey on itself and then feathers stuck to it? Same principles, but instead of honey, we got eggs, and we add flour to the mix too,” Josh said, indicating to the items taht ve had mentioned before. “Not to mention I gotta be naked and running for about a mile in all that--so that’s fun,” ve couldn’t help but to chuckle at how ridiculous it was saying what ve had to do aloud. “I’d do it alone, but I don’t think I can record myself--nor can I fully cover myself in egg yolk and cover up everywhere without help. So that’s where you come in!”