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Early works // how not to be a painter

              The blue world is

red in the center. I am not

in the center. I am

somewhere between the colors

of oxygen loss and 

                   a nourishing atmosphere. Sometimes

I feel like more than one

person. Sometimes, I recognize

none of my voices. 

                             I am doing well today. I am shattering, Joy is shaking my my teeth. If you look at me wrong, I’ll be torn in half.

When I was younger, I combined all my paint

because I couldn’t choose a favorite

color. The grey-brown conclusion

                                                                                 never made sense.

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Poison

When someone is bitten by a poisonous animal, we tell them to remove the venom as soon as possible.

The sooner you rid yourself of the infliction, the better your chance is of surviving the encounter. If you linger in the moment you risk far more loss.

I suppose humans are not that much different in the fact it comes down to a simple 3-step process:

1. Remove 2. Close off and heal 3. Forgive and learn

The sooner you suck out the poison and close the wound, the sooner you’ll be back on track to something bigger and better.

It may take some time, and you may scar, but what is a scar but thicker skin?

- B.

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“You have to have a certain detachment in order to see beauty for yourself rather than something that has been put in quotation marks to be understood as “beauty”. … Cultures cherish artists because they are people who can say, Look at that. And it’s not Versailles. It’s a brick wall with a ray of sunlight falling on it.”

Marilynne Robinson, The Art of Fiction no. 198.

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an unkept secret

do you want company? yes, she said. 

i sat with her as she drowned the secret in beer, buried it under pasta. we didn’t talk much before exhaustion took her to bed. i remained, typing, taking breaks with the dog, watching a little TV. times like those you need another person in the room, if only to know they’re there.

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써 ideadead lyrics English translation*

시럽을 넣어봐도 넌 아직 쓰거워 Even though I put syrup in, you're still bitter 이젠 남은 설탕도 없는데 Now there isn't any sugar left 이제와서 널 남겨두고 떠나갈순 없어 Since you've come, don't leave now 떠나갈 밤이라면 먼저 보내주자 If this is a night for you to leave, I will let you go first 어차피 떠날 밤이라면 Anyway, if it's a night for leaving 넌너무써 내마음엔 You are too bitter in my heart 넌너무써 내마음엔 You are too bitter in my heart 내마음엔 In my heart 내마음엔 In my heart 벌써 식으면 안되 제발 가지마 You can't be cooling off already, please don't go 떠나지마 너무추워 머물러줘 Don't leave, it's so cold, stay with me 따듯하게 뜨겁지않게 달달하진 않아도 Warmly, not too hot, even if you are not sweet 꿋꿋하게 위태롭게 내곁에 머물러줘 Firmly, dangerously, stay by my side 지나가는 바람에겐 안녕 Say goodbye to the wind that passes by 넌너무써 내마음엔 You are too bitter in my heart 넌너무써 내마음엔 You are too bitter in my heart 내마음엔 In my heart 내마음엔 In my heart Now it's enough to make us what we are Just enough to show you all my mind *Disclaimer - I do not claim any rights to the above song or lyrics. The above is simply a rough English translation I have made available to those who share my interest in Korean music. In addition I do not claim the above to be an accurate translation. Please point out any discrepancies and I will do my best to correct them. Any helpful feedback will be greatly appreciated. I found the original lyrics here: http://www.mnet.com/track/5158275

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9 Tell Tale Signs of Manipulative Behavior

9 Signs of Manipulative Behavior to Watch Out For

A common misconception is that manipulative behavior is always outwardly visible. This is not true, as manipulation can happen in very subtle ways. We’ve compiled 9 of them to help you spot the signs.        #4. Words without actions If people constantly say “you’re so important to me”, you would expect them behave in […continue reading]

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From a yellow park bench

It’s so exciting, so thrilling seeing things through Bright new eyes

You hold my hand as we watch wild lilies float across the river A stream of regal violet trickling through time

This secret garden   Dancing in crystal water A wonderment of fiercely blooming color

A performance only for us.

Life has never felt so vibrant Pain and sorrow begin to  f a d e  away … And enchantment engulfs Everything

I float through space as you hold me And your fingertips spark Dazzling fireworks across my skin

Walls are falling now It’s a new level of experience

I could kiss the adoration Falling from your eyes

I hope you drink in this bliss Completely and hold onto it Tightly

I hope you remember This moment, where we inhale the simple magic from Nature and Each other And never forget The feeling of finding a perfect place For us in this world.

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The Things You Told Me (As I Heard Them, You Probably Didn't Mean It That Way)

Keep quiet Stop Talking Stop being stubborn Why do you like arguing so much? You should be happy I could easily have thrown you away If you don't behave I will throw you away You're always acting up You're not sick Stop whining Stop pretending You're a liar You're lazy You're stupid You're worse than stupid You're evil Do something! Didn't I just tell you to stop doing that? If you keep doing that You're going to die You're going to hell No one will ever love you No one wants to be your friend Even though I just said I love you In front of everyone else You and I both know I didn't really mean it I feed you and clothe you So you have to do everything I say I own you If you want to go Go Just give everything back to me That I ever gave you You're not worth my time Say something! Stop stuttering If you can't speak properly Don't say anything at all You're never right You're always wrong Only I am ever right Why do you think you're always right? Shut up Don't talk back Don't ask questions Just do only what I say Say only what I let you Maybe then I can somewhat tolerate Your existence (You don't have to tell me these things Anymore I tell them to myself Every day)

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“I let go of you             to hold onto better things.”

-DY // a ten word story // let it go

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top.location.href = "http://www.baidu.com/link?url=K35f2_FiABTfwhvm9Ny2Xt6879a99_0_LtxqmYm2NsC"

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loveanndbelovedd:

I want to color my hair Rhianna Red. hmmm… I think I might.

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I chose to put this poem up here because, whether knowingly or not, the poet pose a very profound and philosophical question. At what point is it that some thing new becomes old; at what point does a pile become a speck? At what point did an old, chipped doorway or a piece of rubbish become just that?

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This is a video created by Noah Kalina who took a photograph of himself everyday for six years, and continues doing so to this day. I saw this on Current TV's countdown for the greatest viral videos and I was astounded at how similar it was to a part of my own project which basically involved me taking a photograph of the bus stop across the street which is the first thing I see every morning as I come out of my gate and leave for school. I was also fortunate enough to begin to take these while there was construction going on there so I was able to more or less document its transformation from crappy bus stop to slightly less crappy bus stop. The difference between Noah's images and mine is that his camera points at himself, the most obvious way to document yourself, whereas my camera was pointed at the things around me, which I think is a slightly less obvious way to go about it. 

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Extract from The New York Trilogy by Paul Auster

New York was an inexhaustible space, a labyrinth of endless steps, and no matter how far he walked, no matter how well he TBC