I'll knock you out, throw you off the road. Steal your shoes from off your feet. I'm the higwayman, and I make ends meet
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Some Ms. Tonitini awesomeness for your dashboard!
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me as an airline pilot
me over the intercom: do you guys like me
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‘It doesn’t take an intellectual to get that I am bisexual.’
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Sometimes it blows my mind that there are people that don’t wear glasses/contacts. Like they can literally see with no aid. Like they wake up and just be out here seeing. What a wild concept.
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my biggest pet peeve is when I call a boy pretty and about six people have their necks swivel all the way around on their shoulders exorcist style just to tell me that boys aren’t pretty they’re handsome
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Tactic: When people ask what your five year plan is but you don’t have one, just respond with your five year plan for whatever Harvest Moon game you’re playing.
“My five year plan? Get the house renovations finished, get married and have a couple of kids.”
“My five year plan? I’ve got my eye on a nice plot of land in the mountains so I’m saving for that currently!”
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