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denying yourself enjoyment of things because you don't want to be 'cringe' is the most cringe thing you can do actually. like what are you, catholic?

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like yes things suck but at least ur not 15 again

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Fanfic writers really said "in any universe, in any scenario, despite any obstacle, these people would love each other" and I think that's very cool of us

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The "They had justified reasons for being angry at their current society and government but were made to look evil by the narrative by having them do fucked up things to disregard their ideologies and trauma" Squad :

Feel free to add on more in the comments !

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fucks sake

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Psychology (and Neuroscience) Pickup Lines

As usual, these are politically incorrect. Also, of course, they do not reflect the kind of psychologist I’m going to be. They’re just supposed to be funny and help you all get some.

Is your name B.F. Skinner? Because under the right circumstances, you could make me do anything.

Your body is like psychoanalysis. It’s unbelievably sexual and reminds me of everything that was wrong with my life before we met.

You must not believe in the language acquisition device – because baby, I’m rendered speechless.

My brainstem is my second-favorite stem. OR My post-synaptic cleft is my second-favorite cleft.

Can you cure agorophobia? Because if you were in my house, I’d never want to leave.

You were diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder? Honey, that doesn’t count when you’re actually perfect.

Our relationship is going to be like psychodynamic therapy. I’ll listen to you; you’ll lie on your back. At first you’ll resist me; then I’ll show you that I know you better than you know yourself.

Damn, baby, I’d like to find your synaptic cleft and feel its electrical energy, if you know what I mean.

My therapist says I have oral fixation. And don’t worry – it will be years before I’m cured.

BONUS – Your Mama Jokes

Your mom is so ugly, even Carl Rogers can’t hold her in unconditional positive regard.

Your mom is so dumb, Piaget told her you were guilty of animistic thinking, and she said, “So what? I dream in cartoons all the time!”

Your mom is so ugly, even you were never attracted to her.

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Cheesy [Neuroscience] Pick-Up Lines

"Hey baby, my supplementary motor area is going crazy thinking about all the things I want to do to you."

"You're like my right temporal-parietal areas; I'd be lost without you."

"You make my nucleus accumbens tingle."

"Are you a ventromedial lesion? Because you leave me insatiable."

"I think you may be giving me Upper Motor Neuron Disorder because my lower half is all kinds of hypertonic around you."

"You're so hot, you've got my TRP channels upregulating."

"Wanna make like myelin and wrap yourself around my axon?"

"Are those your mirror neurons firing? Because I can see you in me."

"Looking into your eyes gives me Broca's aphasia."

"Did you damage my cerebellum? Because I'm falling for you."

"Have you been doing laps along my corpus callosum? Because lately you've been crossing my mind."

"Are you a dopamine receptor in the direct pathway of my basal ganglia? Cause I think you’re, D1."

"Do you have a lesion on your anterior hypothalamic nucleus? Cause you’re looking really hot."

"If I had prospagnosia I’d still recognize you because how could forget a face as beautiful as yours?"

"Trying to describe how amazing you are gives me anomic aphasia. I just can’t find the words."

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Australian comedian Jim Jefferies points out the ridiculousness of American pro-gun arguments. x x

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you know what really gets my goat?

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me: [procrastinates] why is my life so hard

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hey babe did it hurt when you fell from heaven haha ? hey babe did you see a god in heaven haha ?? hey babe is There even a god at all??Does life have a point????Babe?????? Or are we all just pointless machines in an uncaring universe ????????????? Babe ??????????????

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