fancrohw

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lesbian masculinity is literally one of the hottest and most attractive things in the world sorry.

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you know a joke that never EVER gets old is when a character says smth like “I will NOT go to [place] and that is FINAL” and then it cuts to them in that place I eat that shit up every single time

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and what are we going to do when the HP series comes out and we start seeing a resurgence of the fandom here including gifsets and fics. like are u guys gonna bring up your neurodivergence and cry "can we separate the art from the artist!!!!! you dont need to pay to watch it!!!!!its my comfort show and I'm DEPRESSED and AUTISTIC"

what then

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A proposal

Sometimes, in fandom, we just want to write id-tastic fic that rolls around in tropes that might be viewed as problematic. But we don’t want to address the problematic side of things in this particular fanwork; we just want to roll around and wallow.

It is considered courteous to give readers a heads-up via use of AO3 tags. I propose a tag that signals that a given fanwork is for rolling around, not giving a measured evaluation of anything. The MCU has carved out a space for this sort of fic with the “HYDRA Trash Party” tag, for which I commend them. Trash Party is a bit too specific to cover all of the ground I’m thinking of here, though; I propose “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.”

For those of you not familiar with Arrested Development, Michael Bluth finds a paper bag in the freezer labeled “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.” He opens the bag, finds a dead dove, and reacts as follows:

[gif of a white man saying “I don’t know what I expected” in a deadpan manner]

The “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” tag would essentially be a “what it says on the tin” metatag, indicating “you see the tropes and concepts tagged here? they are going to appear in this fic. exactly as said. there will not necessarily be any subversion, authorial commentary condemning problematic aspects, or meditation on potential harm. this fic contains dead dove. if you proceed, you should expect to encounter it.”

(more at KnowYourMeme: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-dont-know-what-i-expected)

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man. watching video essays is always a ride, you either get something extremely well thought out where the person clearly delved deep into the source material and is as obssessed with it as you are(or will become), or you get someone who maaaaaaybe played or read or watched the thing, but OBVIOUSLY didn't absorb any of it at all.

and its way too much of the latter

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wait have you guys seen the sanji at universal studios cuz genuinely he made want to watch op 🙈

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Fantasy First Aid Common Mistakes

This is going to be about some first aid mistakes I see in the fantasy genre, but specifically before the magic fix its and stuff, where the first aid is a bit more grounded. This applies to fantasy because this similar type of WRITING (not medical) advice from paramedics is all through a lense of "it's going to get fixed in a hospital in like 20 min anyway" while wilderness medicine is "I may be out here for days before receiving any kind of help." An EMT in a city can throw on a sam splint and an ace wrap on a broken arm and it's fine for the 30 min drive+waiting room time, but that is not acceptable to be worn for hours-days in the wilderness because it gets too uncomfortable after a while, and may rub and chafe, for instance.

So who am I, and why can I talk about this? I am a Wilderness First Responder. This is a certification, NOT a medical license, and I am giving advice for WRITING injury treatment, not treating them irl. Brad Mondo gives tutorials about cutting and dyeing hair and we all have SEEN from his hairdresser reacts videos that the ability to do it comes from PRACTICE, not how-to's, or he'd be out of his youtube career, frankly. So, I'm going to tell you guys what I know so you can write a good field medicine scene, and you guys aren't going to sue me because we all acknowledge you aren't getting hands on practice through a tumblr post, deal?

So that being said, the topics I'm yapping about will be: Moving the patient, concussions and sleeping, CPR, broken bones, and arrow wounds.

So let's jump in. Your healer, uhhh Hallie, we'll say, finds a patient, Patty. First question

Do we stay, or do we go?

And the answer depends on "is there substantial benefit to moving the patient?" If you're in an actively erupting volcano, yeah, move. If Hallie is in a quiet forest, she doesn't need to move her to bandage her up, unless the bandages aren't with them, in which case, if say her leg is broken, Hallie might consider going and grabbing them, while Patty stays there with a weapon, depending on how far away camp is. Did Patty fall off a cliff, and her spine is broken, and in the process of moving her, Hallie will make Patty paralyzed, but Magnus the Magic Healer can do the macarena and fix anything wrong? If so, don't worry about the temporary inconvenience of being paralyzed, get her to help! It's all about "will moving the patient help them?"

One time I read a fic where a patient had a seizure. They were already lying on a mattress, and I suspect the author had heard "if someone is going to have a seizure, lie them on the ground" but hadn't thought through that that advice is because you don't want a standing patient to fall down, not that the floor has inherent seizure-healing properties. It would be better to leave them on the bed, clear of obstacles, because a seizing patient is going to get less bruises and less of a concussion banging their head against a mattress than a hard floor.

Concussions- should the patient sleep?

yeah. The wive's tale of "don't sleep with a concussion" comes from people getting a hit to their head, falling asleep, and dying. They attributed the death to the concussion. In actuality, it came from intracranial bleeding increasing pressure on the brain until it basically squeezes the brain through the spinal columnn like a tube of toothpaste.

This is not a problem that can be solved by keeping the patient awake. To be honest, if you're in a wilderness context (delayed access to definitive care, hostile environment, limited resources), this isn't a problem I could really fix at all. I would get them out of the field at the concussion, and hope that's all it is. But, that may not be an option in your fictional world, so unless you have magic that can treat this, the patient won't do very well.

So how do you write this? If Hallie is supposed to be a medical professional, she would let Patty sleep, because sleep helps a concussion, which Patty definitely has. Hallie would also periodically wake Patty up to see if Patty is getting more confused, less alert, less coordinated, etc. and otherwise mentally compromised. If that happens, Patty either gets magical treatment or dies ig.

CPR

CPR is chest compressions combined with rescue breaths. The compression-only CPR was a COVID compromise that acknowledged no one wanted the mouth to mouth contact, and said that compressions are better than nothing.

Let's just play fact or fiction with common things I've seen in writing

"Patty isn't breathing! Hallie should start CPR!" FICTION. Hallie should check for a pulse. If no pulse, CPR is appropriate. If there IS a pulse, then Hallie only needs to do the rescue breaths part of CPR. DO NOT give CPR to a patient that HAS A PULSE. Plz.

"Good CPR will always break the ribs" FICTION. It usually does, though, to the point that if the ribs AREN'T broken, it probably wasn't good CPR, so go ahead and write some broken ribs into your story. We love whump : )

"The ratio of compressions to breath is 30:2" FACT. Yep. I once read a fic where the healer only did like 4 compressions in each cycle and that will do nothing, because it takes like 8 or so to build up enough pressure to pump blood.

"Sing 'Stayin Alive' For the right rate!" FACT. Yep. The range of good CPR is 100-120 bpm. Stayin alive is 120. I will caution that you tend t rush it, so personally I aim a little slower. Also, you're probably not going to have Fantasy Bee Gee's so I will also say that a lot of military marches, Sousa marches in particular, are also in the 120 range, and more likely for your healer character to have heard and kinda vaguely remember.

Setting Bones

Patty has a broken leg and the bone is sticking out. I have seen people write the healer pushing the bone back in and oh my god it was so painful. So you know when you break a stick and it has jagged edges? That's ur bones too. When Hallie pushes it in, she's going to break off more bone, which is the opposite of helpful. Hallie needs to pull the ends apart to allow them to line back up.

Pardon me, I tried. What happens when the bone is pushed in, is that it breaks off more fragments to float around in the injury. Please don't do that.

Arrow wounds/Impaled Objects

This one's really fun because we're getting to the end of my scope of practice. I cannot close wounds, by sewing them, glueing them, etc. I am taught to control bleeding, stabilize, and then evacuate. This is a good first step for Hallie, and then her Magic Land Medical License can let her or someone else stitch them up later. But what I'm going to talk about still holds.

If someone has been impaled but not all the way through, should someone:

Cut the arrow shaft off? If they're stabilizing it until Patty gets to Hallie, then maybe? The thing is, if Hallie's just going to pull it out, it doesn't really matter how long or short the shaft is, if it's an arrow or javelin. If it's debris and pinning Patty in a position Hallie can't help her, then yeah cut it. But cutting it will jerk around and aggravate the wound and if you, the author, can't see the benefit of your healer doing it, there probably isn't one.

Force the arrow through the rest of the way? No! Why would that help? If the arrow has a jagged head, and they can literally see it through the skin I can see the argument, but flesh is soft, and if it went in, it can come out with some careful digging. Pull the arrow out. Please. Cause here's the thing: Stitches won't control bleeding deeper down. Packing the wound will, and packing it takes a LOOOOT of shoving gauze in. If there's two holes, the gauze will go in one and out the other. If there's only one, then the gauze will stop at the end of the wound, and thus Hallie can get enough pressure to control the bleed.

@sirenwriterxxx you mentioned that this would be cool. Here it is!

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Not “Only my reading of canon is correct” or “Interpretations are subjective and all valid” but a secret third thing, “More than one interpretation can be valid but there’s a reason your English teacher had you cite quotes and examples in your papers, you have to have a strong argument that your interpretation is actually supported by the text or it is just wrong and I’m fine with telling you it’s wrong, actually.”

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headcanons are all well and good, and are a great way for fandom to interact with a piece of media, but the minute you start praising or lauding something for representation that is purely fanon you have sincerely lost the plot

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my favorite thing about navigating fanfiction is finding a really good one and being all “oh boy this was good, I hope they have more!” and literally every other story they’ve ever written was for like Miami Vice 

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The urban fantasy show I actually want to see is a hospital drama with a dedicated wing for supernatural illnesses.

Vampirism. Lycanthropy. Cheap spells gone wrong. A woman brought in for her prenatal has to be told her baby is a lindworm. Someone is literally being followed by the anthropomorphic personification of the Black Death.

Someone somewhere out there is having their perception of the world irreparably shattered by the knowledge that magic is real, and at the other side is a team of doctors who have to roll their eyes and pull out Grimm’s Complete Fairy Tales because some high school kid tried to go Carrie with a cheap spellbook and turn all the kids at prom into frogs, and the doctors have to wrangle a couple dozen teenagers into admitting if they have a true love who can break the spell.

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Some people just refuse to make an oc

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MEN!

you have to wear this and nothing else

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Me: Oh, Bethesda realised new game! I wonder how it’s technical condition…

Technical condition of new Bethesda game:

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genres i'm tired of:

"feminist retellings" of stories that can already be considered feminist in their own right

"feminist retellings" that fumble the "feminist" plotline so bad it just turns misogynistic

"feminist retellings" that still center around and hinge on men

"feminist retellings" written by people who don't understand what feminism is

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\More blood/

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Orla being reminded of Friede when she looks into Roy's face.

This past year must have been so hard on her fr, since she's known Friede the longest of any of the RVT gang, and then she also had seen him fall and possibly die. So the kids mentioning they're reforming the RVT must bring all that trauma back full-force.