fallen-daughter - Tumblr blog

[fallen-daughter]

Nobody who says that mistreatment of trans women comes from misandry actually believes that that deep down. If they did, they’d treat us like men, which would mean listening to and respecting us. Nobody treats us like men, we’re treated like women, and like the women of women, so that even other women get to treat us like men treat them.

When cis white men and women harass a cis black woman and call her male, like we’re seeing during the Olympics, they are not treating her like a man, they’re treating her like a woman who is below other women and a target they can participate in attacking

The people who cry misandry or “androphobia” know this, and they lie to you about misandry being the root issue so that they as men/transmascs get to be the rhetorical authorities on misogyny, make themselves the real victim, and become ontologically incapable of misogyny by defining it out of existence.

[fallen-daughter]

I wish transmascs could have positivity posts that aren't made by dudes who think misandry is real like every time I see one of those long posts about "being a man does NOT make you evil" I go hmm and I check op and he is not fond of women & wildly misunderstands what's wrong with terf ideology

[fallen-daughter]

Bad quality* animated AlloAro/AroAllo flag

(*Bad quality means that I accidentally made the canvas far too small so now it’s a bit pixelated. But I won’t redo it.)

[fallen-daughter]

misandry isn't real. no man on earth is oppressed on the basis of his being a man and not for some other factor, because there is not a place or a society on earth where a system of social forces exists to privilege some other gender category at the expense of men. this is basic social theory. any argument to the contrary is sophistry and wordplay. science denial isn't cuter when it's a social science. you people are so incredibly, willfully stupid, jesus, fucking delete your blogs

[fallen-daughter]

Transfeminine erasure is so strong that people will act like you're a hysterical attention seeker if you even bring it up.

Like, what else am I supposed to call it when everyone, even other queer people, insist that trans women are a modern Western invention? And insist that any person or group that shares incredible similarity to myself and other trans women are anything but?

What else am I supposed to call it when a highly popular Youtube channel supposedly comitted to diversity makes a video about HRT without consulting any transfeminine people (even though they did think to consult a trans man) and spreads dangerous misinformation about transfeminine HRT as a result? Especially since this is the common state of affairs when it comes to transfeminine HRT.

What else am I supposed to call it when multiple fiction anthologies claiming to represent all trans people consistently exclude transfeminine authors?

What else am I supposed to call it when everyone is considered more of an authority on the transfeminine experience than actual trans women and transfems?

What else am I supposed to call it when everyone, from straight up fascists to 'progressives', from cishets to other trans people, will constantly deny that trans women face intense violence for being trans women. Even as they subject us to that violence everyday, even as the statistics show again and again that transfeminine people face more overall violence than any other gender group, cis or trans.

The denial of this erasure is part of it, and I wish so badly that people would see this.

[fallen-daughter]

"problematic queer representation" the phrase you're looking for is "transmisogynistic caricature" but you won't admit that because you'd have to admit trannies exist and that Arthur Gynephile from your favourite movie is someone's idea of people like me and not just "problematic queer representation"

[fallen-daughter]

It just occurred to me that I never made this very important statement, so I'm gonna be honest here and not waste anyone's time. I think it's best if everyone who follows me knows this:

If you follow me and believe in "misandry" in any form (this includes "transandrophobia"), understand that I 100% do not agree with you and I'm not going to pretend that I do for your comfort.

And before anyone accuses me of "not believing trans men face oppression," I do believe trans men face oppression. That's not up for debate, and the whole "transandrophobia doesn't exist" discussion has never been about denying trans men face oppression, despite what some people say/think. It is solely about the language used and the implications it has.

I will not be arguing with anyone about this. I will not hear anyone out. I will not be debating anyone.

If it bothers you that I don't believe in (trans)misandry, you're free to leave at any point, and I'll gladly block anyone who causes problems.

[fallen-daughter]

I wish I could reach out to all the trans girls who get thrown away and somehow assure them that it isn't their fault.

There's no decision you can make to permanently appease people who are willing to unperson you.

You can dance the dance as best you can for as long as you can, but eventually you will slip up, and even if you don't, they might just get bored anyway.

If throwing you away is an option, they'll always throw you away, every time.

[fallen-daughter]

I'm all for mixed-gender sports and I'm glad that there are other people who agree with me and want mixed-gender sports to become the norm for pro-trans reasons...

But y'all do realize that even if we achieve in getting mixed-gender sports mainstream (or at the very least recognized), that doesn't mean shitty people won't do everything in their power to make sure trans athletes still can't compete, right?

The problem isn't just sexism in sports. There is a HUGE transphobia problem that, while definitely tied to misogyny, is its own separate issue that will have to be addressed no matter what.

"Gender equality" for some people just means "cis men and cis women are equal." Trans people aren't even part of the equation to them because we're seen as inhuman in their eyes.

I'm not saying we shouldn't push for all genders to compete in the same sports together, but I am saying that treating mixed-gender sports as the cure to transphobia in sports is not the solution you may think it is.

I know this may sound obvious to some people, but I'm afraid that some people do actually think that mixed-gender sports will solve transphobia against trans athletes completely.

[fallen-daughter]

You're not "alloromantic" you just haven't met the wrong person yet if that's how it works

[fallen-daughter]

I think trans people who are post-op or who want surgery deserve positivity and appreciation just as much as trans people who don't have/don't want surgery.

I understand why pre-op and never-op trans people get a lot of positivity posts. Especially when trans women in particular are targeted with hatred and violence for not having bottom surgery, and trans people in general who claim to not want surgery are accused of being "fakers" by radicals both within and outside of the trans community.

But I feel like people forget that getting gender affirming surgery is still considered extremely taboo and is often described by transphobes as "self-harm" and "mutilation."

I'm not here to argue who gets more hate, post-op or pre-op trans people, because both get a disturbing amount of hate and there is simply no pleasing anyone when you're trans.

I almost never see positivity for post-op trans people, and I fear it's because so many people assume that once you've gotten surgery, pretty much all of your problems are over, when that's just not the case.

[fallen-daughter]

WE NEED TO START TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT BIGENDERISM

[fallen-daughter]

as an entire queer trans allosexual i think it's weird when other allosexuals don't like the term allosexual for themselves. it just means not asexual. smacks of cis people who scream and howl and pee their pants about being called cis

[fallen-daughter]

I know when people intentionally misgender a "bad" trans person, everyone with common sense is like "Hey don't do that because [something about how it hurts trans people in general or how having your pronouns respected isn't something to be earned]" but whatever happened to "a member of a minority group doing something bad doesn't give you a free pass to be a bigot"?

I don't care how shitty a trans person is, you do not get to be transphobic because they're shitty. I don't get to be racist if a person of color is shitty in some way. It's the same fucking logic for trans people.

You're not a trans "ally" if you intentionally misgender a trans person. I don't care how bad they are. I don't care if you're trans, yourself.

Yes, it's true that having your trans identity respected is not something you should have to "earn" or "prove that you deserve." But we need to stop making excuses like that, and instead we need to start lumping transphobes who think they can pick and choose who "deserves" to have their pronouns and gender identity respected with other bigots who do similar things to other minorities.

We don't have to argue with these people. It should be a no-fucking-brainer that misgendering a trans person on purpose is transphobic, and that no amount of bad deeds gives you the right to be a fucking transphobe.

If you intentionally misgender a trans person, you are a transphobe. Full stop. No debates. No arguments.

[fallen-daughter]

[fallen-daughter]

I'm not against the pan label in any way, but it kind of terrifies me how many people I talk to that genuinely believe "pan = attracted to everyone" and "bi = attracted to everyone that isn't trans/nonbinary."

I'm bisexual. I'm attracted to all genders. Including nonbinary and trans people. That isn't me mislabeling myself, either. Bisexuality has always been "two or more" (or "attraction to all genders" as opposed to pan which is "attraction regardless of gender" depending on who you ask. I personally use the "attraction to all genders" definition of bi for myself).

While I also believe in the concept of "gender and sexuality can be fucky, so use whatever labels you think fit you," I've determined that the pan label doesn't fit me like bi does, and I refuse to be told I'm "actually pansexual" or use pan and bi interchangeably just because there are people out there who still believe "bi = cis men and cis women, and pan = all."

If you use the pansexual label, that's fine. I don't have a problem with people identifying as pan. What I have a problem with is people who think pan is a "more inclusive" version of bi and use that definition of pan while claiming bisexuality doesn't include trans and nonbinary people.

I'm just really getting tired of explaining to people that bisexuality includes trans and nonbinary people. I'm tired of people assuming I'm transphobic because I don't identify as pan or "correcting" me when I give them the details of my attraction.

The pansexual label has a place in the queer community and pansexual people should be allowed to exist in queer and mspec spaces unimpeded. This doesn't mean we should keep letting these misconceptions about bisexuality continue, however. I want pan people to denounce these misconceptions just as hard as bi people have to.

If you're pan, please correct people when they use the incorrect definitions of bi and pan. It'll make things a million times easier if we work together to educate people.

[fallen-daughter]

i hate to be that guy, but the idea that gender, sex, and sexuality are ontologically pure concepts that can be rigidly defined if we simply police our language enough (our english language, because of course) is—i cannot stress this enough—a total waste of time. you may as well spend your afternoons teaching a brick how to swim