fallen-dante

[fallen-dante]

Dad Jokes [closed RP]

gris-of-shadowfell​:

Niall snorted into his cup as Dante got a deer-in-the-headlights look, “The jokes can’t be that bad.” He put the cup down, “Maybe we can trade notes, our children will be growing up together.”

It was far more than Niall could have ever hoped for. His optimism was high, but he couldn’t help it, “Come, we’ll go remind ourselves of what we’ll be doing to ensure their futures,” He hauled himself up, “I looked into where there were some infestations that need to be dealt with.”

He grinned, “You’re a ‘demon killer’ worth knowing, Dante. Let’s make some more stories for the children.”

That was weird, because the twins and their own uncle would be growing up together... but according to Gris, that was just a thing when you could be hundreds of years old and still gettin all the fuck you could ask for.

It could be a whole lot worse.

Dante grinned and knocked back the last of his drink  “All right! Then let’s fuckin rock!”

He got to his feet, Rebellion forming itself at his back. Even he didn’t know how the damned thing stayed there or where it came from - but he didn’t have to. He just had to do what he was good at.

It was enough.

~End~

[fallen-dante]

Dad Jokes [closed RP]

gris-of-shadowfell​:

Niall made a long grunted noise of understanding, “You know…I had very little to do with raising Griselda, as a child,” He scratched the back of his neck, “My mother and the rest of the village raised her.”

“I was usually away doing my duty as a Paladin of The Raven queen,” He waved a hand in the air, “Seeking out and destroying the undead and the necromancers who create them. Waging war against the forces of Orcus…And of course gathering resources to send home.”

He frowned slightly, “I would come home, when I could, but that was only every few months at most,” He took a sip from his cup, “On the other hand, the village wanted for nothing during that time, and could focus less on survival and more on the children.”

Dante nodded slowly. “Yeah, I mean it makes sense. We... I didn’t have that.” His brother, of course, had grown up placed with some rich fucks. Dante was pretty fucking sure that Vergil had never had to do some seriously dodgy shit to keep from starving.

He still didn’t understand why Sparda had done that. He didn’t think he ever would.

“I’ll be busy, yeah. But I’ll be around. If they want to see me. It can’t be so bad to have your dad be Dante the Demon Killer, right?” He grinned. “And oh man, just think of the dad jokes I could tell.”

He could practically feel J’s disapproval from here, and... oh, shit, he was going to have to tell her, too, wasn’t he?

[fallen-dante]

Dad Jokes [closed RP]

gris-of-shadowfell​:

Niall refilled Dante’s cup with a thoughtful hum, “Those who can leave often do, but they don’t usually last very long. Our people have a very long history of being inclined to run headlong into danger,” Several of his chains pointed to different scars, tattoos and piercings, “We somewhat glorify it.”

“The fact is, we are part of The Shadowfell, whether we want to be or not, some more so than others. Like Iria and her boy. She never saw what was outside of The Shadowfell, and her son hasn’t either,” He looked at Dante, “Should those of us who can leave abandon them? Our friends and family? Our people?”

He refilled his own cup, “Even as we plan to make an outpost here on Gaia. We know that our kin on the other side will follow to this world’s shadow and we will also prepare for the dangers that wait there.”

“It’s hard to say what will become of the children, but those are the usual things that happen, yes. It’s also possible that they could be able to survive there, but strong enough to stay here on The Material Plan, it has happened,” Niall looked him over, “You and Griselda are both exceptionally strong. I believe they have an advantage.”

Dante grunted his thanks, took another swig of the Orcish hooch. “Yeah, I uh... wouldn’t know anything about running facefirst into danger.” He laughed. “It’s just kinda hard to leave a scar on me.” Not that he didn’t have a few. His brother probably had a real good one, now... but he still didn’t like to think about that.

“I dunno... I just... gotta think it’s gonna be all right, you know? Like you say, Gris is absolutely no fucking joke at all, and I’m...” he gestured vaguely at himself. Niall knew perfectly well what Dante was capable of; the shadar-kai had chased him around enough times on those damned Runs of his.

“I guess it’s just fucking me up because I know I’m really not dad material... but that ain’t the kids’ fault, you know? I grew up without a dad, and I know it did some bad shit to me.” He shook his head. “But I also know these kids won’t be growing up alone on the street, eating out of dumpsters. Gris said there’d be others, they’d come and help. No kiddo left behind.”

[fallen-dante]

gris-of-shadowfell​:

Niall laughed, “That will be a grand day! I wonder who will get the honor?” There will be a number of people around and more than capable of teaching the children. It all depended on who is there when the time comes.

He paused a moment, “Wedg-?” Niall put his cup down and rubbed his eyes with his hand, before snorting, Dante was an amusing boy.

When he removed his hand the usual total blackness of his eyes had faded and the bright aqua or his irises showed, just like Gris, “The Shadowfell is a realm of the dead, Dante. Life is not meant to thrive there, so usually it wont. We cannot even use yeast to make bread or alcohol there, let alone reliably nurture an unborn child, or their pregnant mother…”

“We lost Iria, a few decades ago,” He picked up the bottle and refilled his cup, “Her boy made it somehow though.”

Dante was never really sure which was creepier - the solid-black lens-thing that Niall and Gris wore over their eyes like magic sunglasses, or their natural eyes. Not that he had a leg to stand on, really. Kat had told him what his trigger state looked like, with fucking glowing red eyes and veins and shit going on. Nobody here was normal, least of all him.

“Gris has tried to explain, but I don’t really get it,” he said, taking another slug of whiskey. “Why would anybody stay there? Why not just go to places that aren’t full of life-sucking negative shit, like here?” He waved a vague hand. “But I guess it always kind of sucks you back to it.”

He looked back at Niall. “And I guess that means there’s two possibilities: one, that our kids wouldn’t be able to survive there, or two, that they might be pulled back there. Maybe three, if you count both at the same time.” He scowled into his cup, then held it out experimentally for a refill. “But we have no idea how putting Nephilim into the mix is gonna change things. We ain’t even remotely human.”

[fallen-dante]

gris-of-shadowfell​:

Niall laughed heartily, “The potential is there isn’t it? Hyun-Ah is a brilliant tactician, and an efficient warrior, and my accomplishments are nothing to balk at either,” He took a sip from his own cup of whiskey, “There is no denying that yours and Griselda’s children will be strong and hardy, with, no doubt, a mischievous streak a mile wide.”

“Yes, they all have a good chance to make it,” He nodded, “It makes it easier to justify beginning preparations early. Normally we wouldn’t let anyone know about a pregnancy until much much farther into it. The risks are usually too great for a loss.” He paused a moment, then took a bit of a longer drink.

“Yyyeah, Gris told me about that,” Dante said, looking down into his drink. “Said the only reason she told anyone at all was because there are just too damned many psychics around HQ to hide anything.” Even so, Niall and Hyun-Ah had managed to hide their hanky-panky somehow. Fuckin legendary.

“But she also said that bein out of the Negative Energy Wedgie in the Shadowfell makes for better chances.” He didn’t really understand what that was all about, just that it sucked the life outta things. He’d also seen that horrible fuckin thing that they had to put on their kids there, so that the pain would keep them from just… fading away. It was high up there on the list of the most fucked-up things he’d ever heard.

“So yeah, gonna be three tiny terrors running around, I guess. I can see it all now… Baby’s First Combat Lesson.” Dante snorted. While he only felt about 50% responsible for Gris getting knocked up - it took two to tango hard enough to bust a bedframe - he did feel weirdly responsible for it being twins. According to science, that wasn’t supposed to be a thing... but magic made its own fuckin rules.

[fallen-dante]

Dad Jokes [closed RP]

gris-of-shadowfell​:

“Of course!” Niall said, putting a cup in Dante’s hands, “Customarily, our people raise our children with our community. We will establish an outpost, and a village will form from it.”

“We need one here regardless,” He sat down, “Griselda and I have been here long enough to warrant a more permanent presence. With children on the way, having more hands is essential.”

He smiled, “I never thought I’d have children other than Griselda,” He paused, and stared into space for a moment, “I need to send for my mother, she will want to look after Griselda and Hyun-Ah.”

Dante wondered if J knew about any of this, and how pissed off she was going to be if she didn’t. But that was Gris and Niall’s and maybe Kat’s problem… not his. For once.

He took a slug of the Orcish whiskey. It burned real good, like whiskey should… but it was also pretty fuckin tasty. Once the burning stopped, anyway. But even though Niall seemed really cheerful about all this baby shit, it probably wasn’t a good idea to just slam the booze like usual.

The next sip ended in choking and coughing, and not because of the burn. Hyun-Ah??? Holy fucking shit. For sure, they’d been spending a lot of time together since Niall had started helping with SpecOps training. But even HQ scuttlebutt hadn’t gotten THAT far.

“Uh, congrats!” he managed to say, when the whiskey was out of his windpipe. “Man, that kid is gonna be some fighter, huh?” Niall was basically the fucking Terminator, and Hyun-Ah’s ‘Threat Elimination’ count in Spec Ops was higher than the next two guys combined. 

Also, ‘Threat Elimination’ sounded a lot nicer than ‘Kill’.

[fallen-dante]

Dad Jokes [closed RP]

gris-of-shadowfell​:

Niall walked in after Dante and into Dante’s little building separate from The Order’s Headquarters. It was true that he’d never been here with Dante, but Cuan had found it easily enough some time ago. It hadn’t been hard to have it confirmed as Dante’s ‘office’.

The chains fell off Dante and Niall slung his bag off his shoulder, “I hope you don’t mind me bringing you here. It seemed like the best choice until Griselda and I can get our plans underway.” He reached a hand into his bag and pulled out two bone cups and a large brown glass bottle wrapped in colorful cloth.

“If The Queen wills it, we will have three children under-toe, and a new village to help look after them before long.” Niall began filling cups with alcohol.

He was kind of surprised to come out into his ‘office’, that shitty old building turned ultimate bachelor lair. He’d made a few additions lately - trophy weapons he’d gotten off of demons, a couple of cool things he’d bought from Kal’s bizarre storage unit sale, a retro arcade game cabinet that had a mini bar inside.

“It’s fine, I mean… wait, what plans?” Lately it felt like some kind of weird-ass floodgate had opened, with Dante barely keeping his head above water while everyone else was swimming on by. People hooking up and having kids, people going to weird dragon worlds, people learning magic, talking cats everywhere, drow and shadar-kai and dire wolves showing up, it was just fucking nuts. “A village?”

Dante sat his ass on the couch, numbly watching Niall pour the booze. He didn’t know what Orcish whiskey was made from, but it smelled strong enough to dissolve paint. Good.

[fallen-dante]

Dad Jokes [Closed RP]

gris-of-shadowfell​:

Niall leaned in conspiratorially, pulling out a scroll, “We’ll go dip into my personal stash. You like whiskey, don’t you? I have some Orcish whiskey.” He laughed and his chains waves with the booming sound, “It is not like that drow azure though, do not worry!”

He began dragging Dante along with him out of the arcade, “Griselda told me you weren’t doing well, so tonight we celebrate like we would at home!” He grinned at Dante, “But it’s even more auspicious than you think! I may have the chance to be a grandfather, but I will also be a new father again!”

Once they were outside the arcade Niall opened the scroll and read from it allowed. A large tear in the air formed and he pushed Dante forward as Cuan came trotting up and through the dimension door, “After you.”

It took pretty much everything Dante had not to lean back from that tower of black leather, wriggling chains, and joviality.

The fucking Azure. Shit was amazing, and probably not meant to be guzzled the way he had when celebrating with Gris after his first successful Run. He’d been so shitfaced that he didn’t even remember the rest of that night… just waking up to a partly-demolished bed, and Gris laughing at the damage.

He gave a shaky laugh. “Orcish whiskey? Uh, yeah, sure. I could use a drink.” No sooner were the words out of his mouth then The Terminator was dragging him away, much like all those times he’d caught up with Dante on a Run. Dante was technically strong enough to break free, but what would be the point?

Out in the street, Niall’s words finally sank in past the layer of panic that had glazed everything for the last few days. “Wait, you’re gonna be a father?” But the shadar-kai was busy reading from the weird squiggles on his scroll, and then a portal appeared out of nowhere. Shaking his head in utter bemusement, Dante stumbled through it.

[fallen-dante]

The noise and flashing lights and general sensory chaos of the arcade was like home to Dante. It crowded out all the noise and shit in his brain… almost as well as booze and fucking did, anyway.

Yeah, well, see where that shit had gotten him now.

He’d spent too long trying to elude Niall during their Runs not to be aware of him the second he came in the door, chains and all. It was pointless to run from the guy, so Dante finished up his round of blasting zombies to shit before putting the plastic gun back in its holster. Only then did he turn to face his judge, jury, and possibly executioner.

 And then he blinked, in a sort of mental whiplash. “A drink?” he repeated, like an idiot. Niall looked… well, he looked fucking stoked. Not exactly what Dante had been expecting… but then he’d been dodging the guy ever since Gris had told him what was up, for some reason certain that he was gonna be pissed. 

 “Uh… Sure. Where you wanna go?” It was gonna be kind of hard to find a joint where they didn’t risk stumbling over one of Dante’s past conquests… maybe that biker bar five blocks down. Maybe.

Dad Jokes [closed RP]

“That’s good, Cuan,” Niall said, to his direwolf companion, as he looked up at the bright flashing sign: ‘ARCADE’, “Wait here.” The wolf huffed and  went to sit like a large furred statue by the entrance. He’d done his part. Hopefully, he wouldn’t terrify too many people.

With the soft clinking of chains he went into the loud interior of the arcade, in search of Dante. The poor boy apparently didn’t know what to do with himself, since Griselda had given him her news. Niall smiled to himself, he was delighted. On top of being a new father once again, he would be a grandfather.

This world was a boon.

It didn’t take terribly long to find Dante, his bright white hair and stature made him stand out almost as well as Niall did himself. He watched the young man blast the fake undead on the screen for a few minutes before coming closer.

“Dante,” He greeted, a thick chain rising up and landing solidly on his shoulders, “I’ve been looking for you! Let’s go have a drink.”

[fallen-dante]

Inappropriate Story Time With Dante, Part 2: Got It Bad

(( AKA: Shit Dante Says While Drinking, the series ))

“So like the fucking instant I saw those two nerdballs in one place, I knew something was goin on. J would always change the subject if I asked her about my brother, she’s real good at that, you know? And Verg would just look at me, like something he found on the bottom of his shoe. Got enough sexual tension to hold up a goddamned bridge, but actin like icicles wouldn’t melt in his pants.

“Anyway, J and I used to shoot the shit sometimes when I was bored and she was elbow-deep in her servers. One day I was just like, ‘Are you banging my brother?’ Fuckin straight up, bam, take no prisoners.

“And at first she doesn’t say anything, just looks at me like I grew another head. I’m all, ‘Seriously, you guys are thick as fuckin thieves. Two peas in the same nerdy pod. You gotta be doin the mattress mambo.’

“But she just shakes her head and says, ‘I don’t get involved with younger men. Or non-humans. Or my bosses. He’s all three.’ Then she laughs and says, ‘Anyway, nothing gets into my pants without at least five speeds, eight settings, and 12 hours of runtime on a single charge.’ Tryna change the subject, but I was onto her by then.

“And I’m like, ‘If you say so, but trust me. Verg might act all cool and calm, but half a chance and he'd be on you in a hot second. Bangarang.’ That got a reaction out of her - she turned bright red, like WHOOOOOSH and the way she smelled changed, like oh damn it’s panty-droppin season.

“But then her face went all blank, that weird way she does, and she just says, ‘That’s irrelevant. We’ve got bigger things to worry about.’ All flat like Mister Spock and shit.

"Since I ain’t about to stop once I get started, I go, ‘Yeah, well you’re gonna have ‘something big’ to worry about if you ain’t careful. I dunno how he even walks with that huge fuckin boner he’s got for you.’

“But instead of gettin pissed off or embarrassed, she just looks... I dunno, tired? And kinda sad. And all she says is, ‘Can we not talk about this right now?’

“I feel a little bit bad now, so I’m like, ‘All right, all right, but if you ain’t into him you should tell him, ‘cause he’s got it bad.’ Lookin out for my little bro, right? For all the good it did.

“She asks me, ‘What are you, your brother’s wingman?’ and I’m like, ‘Maybe. That guy needs to get laid. He’s so uptight you could store acorns up his ass for the winter.’

“That made her laugh, finally. I noticed that she didn’t try to deny any of the shit I said, either. I let it drop. And not long after... well, you know that story. We killed Mundus, everything went to shit, J took over The Order. Nobody came out of that the same way they were before.

“I’m always gonna wonder, though... would it have been different, if they’d just gotten over themselves long enough to screw each other’s brains out? Or would it have all gone down the same, but worse?”

[fallen-dante]

What the hell were they even speaking? It sounded like Russian... if someone had put it through a blender first. J and Hyun-Ah just looked on politely until they spoke English again.

“That’s one way to put it, yes.” J smiled faintly. “We’ll never turn away experienced help. We also never let service go without a fair payment... just ask Gris.”

Dante didn’t know exactly how much cash Gris was pulling down here, with all her different hats, but he did know that she was sending a shit-ton of supplies back home... which might have been a factor in Niall being willing to help out. Or maybe he was just bored, who knew?

“Gris can show you the amenities here and get you settled, while my administrators determine lodging and compensation and such. Once that is taken care of, Hyun-Ah will meet with you to go over training approaches and strategies... and we’ll have a little discussion about Dante.” J grinned at him, and a tiny prickle of unease touched Dante’s gut.

But if he were going to catch up with whatever demigod bullshit his brother had gotten himself into, if he were going to make good on his promise to protect the people of this fucked-up world... well, he was just going to have to put on the big-boy britches and do it, now wasn’t he?

~End~

Get Ahead Of The Pack

[fallen-dante]

“The change is already occurring,” J said. “It just needs a little help. There are, after all, still some 3 billion people who are not part of the problem.”

It was a weird and complicated situation, Dante knew; there was some major metaphysical shit about how human belief itself had helped to shape this mess in ways that were probably never intended. What he did know was that with the magic back and all the demons and shit running around, it made for an awful lot of crises of faith - and a lot of pagan folks suddenly getting their prayers answered, sometimes very directly.

J continued, “We not only sabotage the expansion efforts of these two factions of Heaven and Hell, we actively seek to destabilize them wherever weaknesses appear... or can be made. Meanwhile, we advance the fragmenting of human belief that will shatter this structure for good and restore the sort of checks and balances you speak of.”

Hyun-Ah nodded. “This is in many ways a guerilla war. We must apply our forces carefully. I have trained them to the best of my ability, but anything more we can do to increase our effectiveness is welcome.”

Get Ahead Of The Pack

[fallen-dante]

“My understanding is that in most realms, there are many gods of varying portfolios and levels of power, and monotheism is seen as... aberrant, if not completely ridiculous.” J tented her fingers. “Here, over the course of millennia, it became the dominant form of religion, forcing other religions to the side and greatly weakening their gods in the process. Almost 4 billion people worldwide would count themselves a part of this one form of religion.”

“It has led to a situation where the vast majority of souls are being harvested to fuel a pointless war between two factions originally created by the same god, possibly in an effort to create a balance of its own. But this stockpiling and the evangelical nature of the religion has created a self-perpetuating cycle that is heavily depleting and destabilizing the primal Void, where souls originate - and where they should be returning, only to go out again in a new life.”

“Quite simply, we aim to gut the monotheistic system and restore the natural order, before the Void destabilizes entirely and this universe vanishes into a singularity, starting itself over. The recent fall of the former ‘Demon King’ who once ruled over one of the factions has introduced instability to the system, which we plan to exploit.”

Get Ahead Of The Pack

[fallen-dante]

“Thanks to Gris’s efforts, we hope to become more formidable yet.” J returned to her place at the desk, and Hyun-Ah followed suit.

“The Run sounds very interesting, yes, but someone of your experience no doubt has much to offer on the subject of general combat training.” Hyun-Ah gave one of her infrequent and reserved little smiles. The only times Dante had seen her do that were when she was going through a particularly epic weapons shipment, and when Xenos Philos was confirmed eradicated.

“I’m not certain how much of our situation Gris has revealed to you,” J said, “but the truth of the matter is that we are up against some very long odds in a battle we cannot afford to lose."

Get Ahead Of The Pack

[fallen-dante]

Paul laughed, pausing on his way out. “We won’t have to up-sell him that much, the demon-killing antics alone provide plenty of fodder.”

Just as he turned back to the elevator, it dinged. He took a step back as  the doors opened and the raven flew out, then Niall unfolded himself into the room as Gris introduced him. Fucking hell but the guy was enormous, probably even bigger than Shaz, at least a full foot taller than Paul.

Paul looked up, extended one hand. “Paul Durante, head of Intelligence Operations for The Order. Begging your pardon, I was just on my way out... but pleased to meet you.”

J rose from her chair as Paul made his exit. The top of her head came up to Niall’s chest... maybe. “Welcome. I am called J.” She held out one relatively tiny, tattooed hand. “I’m the one helming this organization. And this is Hyun-Ah, our head of Special Combat Operations.”

Hyun-Ah, too, rose to greet the shadar-kai. “Pleased to meet you. I am very interested to hear of your... unique training methods.”

Get Ahead Of The Pack

[fallen-dante]

Poor Rebar, these days the raven wouldn’t even take french fries from Dante without checking with Gris first. Life was rough when you’d been caught extorting Bugles from office workers.

“All right, then. Paul, regroup with me and Sterling once IntOps has something concrete and we’ll go from there.” J tapped at her tablet, probably taking notes. “Hyun-Ah, go ahead and stay after, since we’ll be talking combat here in a little while.” Hyun-Ah nodded.

Paul picked up his tablet and rose from his chair. “We’ll get right on it.” He shook his head a little, then grinned. “Get ready to be a worldwide phenomenon, Dante.”

Dante shrugged. “I think I can handle it.” J rolled her eyes at him.

Get Ahead Of The Pack

[fallen-dante]

J had that look, the one she got when the weird shit piled up high and there was just nothing to be done for it. “It does make me feel better, really... a huge wolf in the city would be a bit much even these days. Animal Control would be in an uproar, people would probably shoot at it, it would just be a mess.”

“It’d have to be huge,” Dante offered, “the dude’s literally three times your size.”

J ignored this, talking to Gris instead. “Sure, bring him up... but I think we can at least let him finish his lunch first.” 

She turned to Paul and Hyun-Ah. “All right, so IntOps will need to draw up an action plan with Sterling: how best to market Dante.” She snorted. “As for SpecOps... well, your position is more strategic in a theoretical fight against Vergil and his forces, but you’ll be able to tell us if this unique style of training might have benefit for your teams.” Hyun-Ah nodded, a look of interest on her normally-unreadable face.

Get Ahead Of The Pack