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roscoelovescoco: 2025, get’s ready’s 🏎️🏁

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world's most difficult-to-answer question

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Those poor men who definitely at this point in their life don't want children and yet are now stuck with thousands of the neediest children ever against their will lmao

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WHAT DAN AND PHIL TEXT EACH OTHER 5

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is this a threat.

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i have a confession: i lied to mom that i was sick so i didn’t have to go to a baby shower in order to watch wdapteo when it came out.

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started to type “ppl will call themselves monsterfuckers just bc they’re into pyramidhead 🙄” and i think maybe i should logout and use facebook for a few days to recalibrate my perspective on society at large

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oh god i just remembered a dream i had last night where i somehow won a phannie sweepstakes that i didn’t sign up for and the prize was dan and phil staying at my house for two days.

the first night, i was going to sleep on my bedroom floor. i hadn’t seen them yet, so i wasn’t even 100% sure the phweepstakes was legit. but just as i was going to sleep, i looked up, and there they were.

dan was in my laundry room (which is right across the hall from my bedroom), doing my laundry (most unrealistic part of the dream, but as he fucking should). and phil? phil was standing like he was in this picture:

just🧍🏼but with a face more like slime!phil:

mixed with the energy of his reaction to dan saying superstitions aren’t real:

so basically, this is what i saw:

(that’s the actual view of my laundry room from my bedroom floor)

so i made eye contact with phil, which was a huge mistake. he started stomping towards me, slowly but with really intense stomps, like it was hard for him to move. dan turned around momentarily and then seemed to realise what phil was about to do, and without reacting, turned back to my laundry.

phil was getting closer, and i knew i was in trouble. as quickly as i could, i pulled out my phone to snap a picture for proof that they were in my house, because i always have dreams within dreams that i saw dan and phil and then would wake up still within the dream and have no proof. i managed to capture two shaky pictures before phil reached me and everything went black.

then i woke up (still in my dream) in a room i didn’t recognise. my mom was in the bed next to me. “mom, where did dan and phil go?!?!”

she looked at me confused. “what are you talking about?”

i didn’t answer her, i just asked, “where’s my phone?” my hands were shaking, i knew in that moment that at least part of it had been a dream, but i also felt deep within me that it really happened. i just needed the picture to show her, so she’d believe me.

i found my phone and unlocked it. with shaking hands, i went to my camera roll and clicked on the first picture.

the picture did show my laundry room, but dan and phil weren’t in it. there was, however, a blurry shape in the center. my mom assumed that it was just because the picture was bad quality, but i knew. i knew it was phil. and i knew that no one would ever believe me, that i would have to live with the truth for the rest of my life.

a bunch of other shit happened not related to dnp before i actually woke up for real, but that’s not what’s important.

what’s important is this: do not EVER let phil lester into your house. if he does manage to get in though, PROMISE me, whatever you do, you won’t look him in the eyes.

definitely let dan in though. he’ll do your laundry.

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Jack’s seat hasn’t even finished moulding to the shape of his ass yet and Flavio is already trying to send him off to the glue factory

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Mi papa biologico phil lester is the best tweet of 2024 and i think about it all the time

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I'll never get over Phil saying he's the "alpha of the spin class" in the newlyweds video and saying that he can't go to workout classes because he doesn't like being told what to do

In my mind it conjures the image of Phil showing up to the gym in a hot pink workout matching set with a tiny dog in his workout bag. And when he's told it's time to get on the treadmill he pulls down his sparkly sunglasses and says "no. why would I do that."

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lewis and roscoe during the winter break — via lewishamilton’s instagram stories

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everything you love will lead you back to you

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me, tipsy, telling my sister all the modern phan lore, she doesn't understand any of it, i'm showing her dan and phil crafts as we speak

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allegations vs. reality