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I read a poetry about love, without prior experience it tasted bland and the words transformed into indecipherable hieroglyphs then scattered like sand in ancient egypt.

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Nature has no concept of right or wrong

Nature has no concept of right or wrong, morals is non-existent. The tiger does not think it wrong to kill a gazelle, nor an alligator when it devours another beast. Humans however will feel a little guilt when it kills some catch, a pig for a festival or another type of animal depending on culture. This guilt, even so little, is perhaps, if can be looked upon microscopically, is a portal to the realm of our mind where the kernel of moral is contained. If you have experience killing an animal, whatever the kind, you might have felt that little squeeze in your gut at the very least, that's the initial physiological manifestation of guilt and what comes after is the thought. This intuition of being guilty - I call it intuition as it is an automatic response of our body towards a phenomena - needs to be examined at a level deeper than our automatic response, that is we need to deconstruct it, or I will try. This brings me to the question of 'why?' Why do we feel guilty when we kill? Is it because we innately should do so? or is it because we just want to? or the most interesting one is, is the sense of guilt dependent upon the values of ones culture? This I think is the most probable one. If you have already experience killing another animal and felt that guilt, you can safely assume that in another part of the world, some guy have already done it a thousand times and does feel an ounce of guilt like you do. This is mostly likely because it is natural for them to do so. They have built callouses on their mind on the actions that we feel guilty upon. Their morals is different than ours, it's okay for them to kill, ours is taught not to , or we are not numb to the feeling of sympathy, that's why guilt can easily occupy our mind. If this is so, that the sense of guilt, or the foundation from which morals emerges from is dependent upon culture, place, and tradition wouldn't that also mean that the concept of right and wrong is socially constructed? If it is so, how much of it has changed throughout the years; let's say a hundred years? Morals changing? If this doesn't struck a chord in you, then you haven't understood the severity of the statement. Morals changing? Our morality is the fundamental code from which our sense of guilt emerges from. If the moral code of ours is that it is not right to kill an animal and we do, we feel guilty. Our divine conscience obtains its sensitivity from the laws of what our morality is. For the standard of our conscience, which guides human action to change from time to time, means that it is not divine, it can be broken, it's not fixed and we can be free from it. Some have already realized it. It's okay to murder another if the reason is of equal value. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. By fighting for your country you kill another, and that another that you killed with all his nationality kills also for his country. Morals can be stamped upon if the reasons are patriotic. It's divinity is now lost, it's not a heavenly rule. It has become arbitrary.

If the pillars of our conscience is socially constructed, can be freed upon, and artificially injected, how much, also, is most of our belief arbitrarily consumed?

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IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY?

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There's nothing to me now but to write. This activity rescues me fro the depths of despair.

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Even the bitterest of food, after a day of not eating or so, becomes sweet. After a sufficient amount of time where water is lost from your body to the point that you've become pale, even though water is everywhere, a drop of it tastes like an elixer straight from gods fountain. The deprivation of bodily needs transforms trivial things into ecstasy producing consumables. Sunlight feels like honey on your skin when you've caved in for a long time in your house. This is just amongst all other things.

The summative principle to this is that: when one is deprive of a particular thing for a long time and is now able to consume that thing it produces extraordinary joy to a person compared to when it was always available.

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reconciliation between two worlds

I am always in a state of disalignment. My thoughts if left out for a second bridges to a world beyond what my waking consciousness is directly seeing. I am here and there at the same time. I am a dreamer, an active one. My mind wanders through the explicitness of life, 'explicitness' may be a poor choice of word. I am just going to state what 'visions' indirectly procured throughout the day.

This afternoon we had a discussion about labour, how to check the position of a fetus inside the mothers womb, how to handle a client giving birth, what to do if you are placed in that kind of situation, etc.,. Suddenly, I was struck by one of the other-worldly reasons why I chose this kind of profession( I am a nursing student), I was reminded by a lightning thought: I walked this path as it is closer to life and death. Two polar opposites, or maybe our predisposed concept between these two are errored. Life and death are not opposites, to place them in one spectrum another term for them is alive and dead. They are both part of life. We fear the other and celebrate it's opposite. I was always fascinated by this approach. I haven't witnessed death personally, what I have witnessed is a burial. What came to mind upon seeing the coffin slowly being covered by dirt, until that six feet square hole filled up was, 'is that it? ', after a tumultuous 70 years of existence in this world, was that it? Yeah, In conclusion there was nothing.

We shouldn't really worry what life has the end for us, what we should do is, I do not know. I've no wisdom and age to give advice.

I've lost the thoughts of today as another emerged just now. We, humans, are the only creature that has consciousness, what the definition of this is, I also don't know. To simplify it, we can think. The future, present, and past can be grasp within our mind simultaneously, maybe not but you get the point. That is a blessing of for man, and a curse. We are prosperous because we can think of the future. Even if a man is so sullen in the present to the degree that he is paralyzed and cannot engage in activities, what gives him the courage to rise in his pitiful state is the thought of a better future. Consciousness is a blessing. It is also a curse as it gives no hope to a man who thinks that the light at the end of the tunnel is just another train rushing at a speed he cannot fathom just to crush him down.

I have now wasted time on writing nonsense. Nevertheless, let me continue. That written above is the world within myself that produces nonsense, with the perspective of this world in which I shall call the 'rational'. This world thinks of the practicalities of life. For instance, now at this very moment I am fighting the urge to stop writing and study the materials for tommorows activity. Or to stretch out the rational world, it plans out my whole life in detail and in a yearly time frame. I am not accustomed yet to this world as I had always indulged in the 'nonsense'. However, I think I need to reconcile the two. I cannot live with just the other. My soul will die if the rational is what always occupies my mind. It's insipid, lifeless, and dull. Then if the nonsense is what's allowed to live, left out responsibilities will kill my conscience.

There should be a line where the two world meets. I've no age to have the answer, life is long, relatively, I should wait then, and I hope the light is not a train, but something divine.

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Expressing your ideas is like being naked.

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don’t think, just act

“Have you ever wondered how optimistic people think?, ‘No’, ‘Well what I’m about to say is not technically how they think but this is one aspect of their mindset.’ ‘Enlighten me’. ‘First, they believe in God,’ I don’t,’ Let’s just say that there are things beyond our control and there are things that control those things that are beyond our control,’ ‘Well, that makes sense, okay,’ ‘Then, they think that that thing that controls things, which is omnipotent, had already set up everything: past, present, and future. What determines the outcome of our future is our actions in the present.’ Well, that’s obvious isn’t it?.’ Pretty much, but sometimes the things that are obvious are the ones that slips through our notice. Optimistic people take advantage of this obvious thing and make things simple, he also takes advantage of the omnipotence of the ‘thing’. ‘What do you mean?’ ‘The ‘thing’ has prepared everything in the future but, the outcome depends on our actions, there are thousands of actions to be taken and there are also multiple outcomes.’ ‘Optimistic people narrows down on the outcome of success, they don’t care about other possibilities when they do things, they realized that when you act your path slowly aligns to that possibility of success and when you don’t its otherwise. You just need to move, let the future handle itself.’

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A lesson from history

Isn’t it comical to an extraterrestrial being’s perspective how the cause of human conflict(wars) started from food and territory to ideas and belief? Like imagine for instance the booming of agricultural era where homo sapiens just learned how to grow wheat and sow them. Some group of sapiens would just have a peaceful day trying to take care of their farm in delight without the thought of being invaded. Then some guy in another territory would approach then tell them, ‘Hey, our farm just got infected by pests and the majority of crops cannot be save. We also ran out of stocks and we have more than a thousand of adults and children going to starve in this winter season. Do you mind if we take over your land and harvest your crops?’ Then the people with the healthy crops would obviously say, ‘No’. A few days later there is bloodshed and the other group took over with minimized casualty, while the other group which was unprepared gets slaughtered, some ran away, and some surrendered. The other group replenished their supplies, survived the winter and continued with their life like nothing happened. It was this simple and cruel in the height of agricultural revolution. 

Fast forward 10,000 years, about a couple of hundred years ago. Some colonizers docking on an uncivilized land with uncivilized people. They would read aloud the order of their state, from the national stamped scrolls of the majesty herself, which tells that, ‘look, we have a God that let your souls live in eternal bliss. But first you got to convert to our belief and give us all of your land to our possession so that our priest will bless you and God will acknowledge all of you.’ Then the native of the land, which understands not a word of what the foreigners are saying, would obviously wage war to a possible invader. This results to bloodshed. When native’s became extinct nations were the ones that waged war to each other, simply to the belief that their idea of governance was better. And the other nation cannot simply apply it because it violates some restrictions to their belief. ‘Well then change your core beliefs.’ The other nations would say, then their offended, then its bloodshed again, thousands die, economy collapse, and the people confused. 

Some higher being that realized it was pointless for internal conflict within your own planet which is going to die eventually. This higher being that survived the death of their planet and thrive in the cosmos eating popcorn watching us doing the same thing they did, fighting for a belief that tells us not to.

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Haunted Wisdom

In ancient times there was a town called ------ in Greece. In this town there was a sage that consulted people with their life, he was considered very wise and due to his wisdom he was prominent in advising people what to do with their problems. He had a saying which became catastrophically iconic that goes “Life is filled with problems and the best way to solve them is when they do not yet occur.” this struck a chord of all the adults in town, which were mostly the people that consulted the sage. This resonated in their minds and realized that life is the problem for them but not for their children which are unaware of what burden life has prepared for them until the time they become adults. The people acted as what the sage had said and murdered their sons and daughters which inevitably would have life as a problem when they will age just like their parents.

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Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to be an intelligent, introverted, and emotional person at the same time. Like a person that is exceptionally creative, especially in writing and highly emotional at the same time. A creative person pouring his soul and emotions into his piece, encapsulating his unworldy pure imaginative ideas in a piece of paper. Imagine what that person could create.

P. S. They're all dead.

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School can teach you these 3 things:

Due to busy schedule it will force to manage your time and utilize it in a meaningful way

Due to schoolwork pressure it will force you to not procrastinate and prioritise things that matters most. And so this will become a habit

And lastly, for all your hardwork, for the things that you've done, for the sacrifices that you've made just for school, it will never be satisfying because in the first place you don't even wan't to do it all.

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You only think. You only ponder. You're a student and nothing else. You consume and do nothing. The things that you think you have are all in your head. You think it's easy, it's easy to think, that it's easy. Just go do it man, do it, do it. Stop thinking that your gonna do it, go do don't think, it delays things.

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I don't know why I'm like this. But I see the world a little differently. With just a spark of light it's art, the flow of the water is art, the falling of leaves is art, the fragments in the trees art, rain is art, the light of the moon breaking inside the room through the window is art, but there's a downside to being different, I have to enjoy it all alone, people don't see the way I see things. Solitude is my companion, me and myself always understand each other, me and myself can have a deep conversation, what I only fear is I find someone that has the same perspective like me, and those solitudes, I will never be able to enjoy because another soul with worlds so rare I will have a connection but don't want to connect with me.

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Sometimes I despise this world its nauseating it makes me sick, why don't we go to your world, tell me your universe, tell me your god, tell me your ideas, let's get lost in your eyes and in mine.

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I liked it at night. This time of the day you can feel the tremor of ghosts, the whispers of the soul, and the message of the past. The night will test you to how much of the deep and dark parts of yourself you can actually handle. If you lose your mind, you'll become a body without a soul, but when accept those torments, you'll realize your a soul trapped inside a flesh of meat.

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They put us in their own box and create a problem for us. Then gives us the pill, we took, it destroyed that box, now we're out, but it was just a diversion to put us in a bigger box.