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Moe’s Funk Dancing for Self(ish High Heels) Defense

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maybe I want to be objectified a little bit, as a treat

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in phrygia alexander the great came upon two oxen tied to one another with a rope, running tirelessly in circles. they were literally tied to nothing except each other, and as they ran they looked sort of like a whirlwind, or the blade part of a blender. alexander said to a townsman "why are these oxen tied together" and the townsman said "i dont know". alex (thats what his friends called him) said "what will happen if anybody undoes this knot" and the townsman, now visibly annoyed, said "i literally Do not know." there was an implicit 'so stop asking' attached, & big lexi (thats what i call him) was socially adroit enough to catch that. so he stepped toward the spinning heap of ungulate and drew his sword and to be honest he flinched several times while trying to psych himself up to cut the rope. he was scared of hitting one of the oxen (stupid plural ftr). anyway he finally did it, he cut the rope and the oxen kept running, they just kept running in circles at a perfectly even pace like satellites around an invisible point. and xander (nobody calls him that) said to the townsman "why are they doing that" and the townsman gave hima nasty look thta said it all. and the oxen kept running.

MORAL: the oxen can be used to model a rudimentary n-body problem

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Wish I was a late bronze age girl

I would have my homeland invaded by the sea peoples. I would be lain siege to by the sea peoples. My cities would be sacked by the sea peoples. I would make bronze tools and pottery. My shores would be invaded by the mysterious sea peoples. I would be mustering my armies to fend off the sea peoples.

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microdosing maenadism by eating a really juicy fruit and pretending im rending the flesh of a deer or perhaps pentheus

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tgirl bond villain menacingly stroking a blahaj

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now kiss please

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dad who's about to sneeze: I think I'll scream when I do it

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Title: On the North Sea Artist: Olga Wisinger-Florian (Austrian, 1844-1926) Date: unknown Genre: seascape Medium: oil on panel Dimensions: 12.5 cm (4.9 in) high x 21 cm (8.2 in) wide Location: private collection

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happy yuri day to all sapphics 💕👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

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Shout out to that guy from Florida talking to my coworker about wanting to take his sail boat through Lake Superior in November. He was planning on a little trip and my coworker was like hey man I don't know how to tell you this but you will Actually Die

*Lake Superior, in the far distance*: yes yes yes yes yes do it yes yes

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please be nice to me unless you’re being mean in a hot way

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Medievalists know that if they claim to have found 'homosexuals' in the Middle Ages they will provoke cries of outrage, and nothing else they say will be heard. So they avoid the term. Thus Allen Frantzen, on the very first page of Before the Closet: Same-Sex Love from Beowulf to Angels in America, declares categorically: “I call this a book about ‘same-sex love’ because the obvious choice, ‘homosexuality,’ is, for periods before the modern era, inaccurate. ‘Homosexuality’ and ‘homosexuals’ were not recognized concepts in the Middle Ages.” Apparently, the same is not true of 'heterosexuality' and 'heterosexuals.' Frantzen does not hesitate, throughout his volume, to oppose 'same-sex relations' to 'heterosexual relations.' The result is a Middle Ages that would make Pat Buchanan jump for joy, one from which all the homosexuals have been banished and only heterosexuals remain. This should give one pause. If homosexuality was not a 'recognized concept' in the Middle Ages, then heterosexuality wasn’t either.

Heterosexuality as a Threat to Medieval Studies, James A. Schultz

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This is who is leading the NYC mayoral democratic primary rn

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me