extantrose

[extantrose]

It's been a hot minute (or, uh, few months!) but regardless of the silence, I have been thinking hard on this blog and what it is I want to do with it! For one, I really like my username. Don't want to waste that. Past that, for a really long time, I had... no idea what to do with it. (':

The truth of the matter is, I really want to create some content. And that's totally on me to do so! Though right now it's quite clear to me that maybe shooting for a blog-style roleplay scene wasn't my best option- comfortable for me! Well-trodden! But I don't really have the community, the external interest, or honestly even really the time or energy to do so while I'm working.

Still, there's lots of different ways to write! I could definitely turn this into a content blog- a place where I can do things like stories, or headcanons, or AUs, and that would be splendid! I might even manage to find some time to share art. I'd really love to do things like that!

The big question is, do I want to keep it focused in on Saeran, from Mystic Messenger, or do I want to broaden it? I certainly have the interest to write and draw things for Obey Me, not to mention the other members of Mystic Messenger.

I could do themed days, themed weeks, sleepover saturdays, mundays, art days, reblog or feature/shoutout days, in-character/roleplay days, all kinds of things, probably. I just need to figure out how to organize, and of course whether or not anybody is or knows anyone who's interested in that!

If you tell me what you want, or even send me requests, I can start piecing together interest and how I want to make some content and maybe finally get that ball rolling!

Have a lovely weekend, everyone! ฅ^. ̫ .^ฅ

[extantrose]

I think starting out with themed days is the easiest way to plan out what you want to be doing or not doing. That way, you get to work with one thing at a time and you can plan with that accordingly!

themed days, vote 2! arguably already popular.

the being prepared part sounds like the biggest benefit of that fkskf. i could even argue that that could give me more motivation to have some healthier habits; organizing my time so that i can be awake at the right times to create and queue content! fantastic (=｀ω´=) ✨

thank you kait! your wise ways are an inspiration 👀💜✨

[extantrose]

Broadening this blog to more than just MM would be really cool! Themed days/weeks could provide for some really cool possibilities. I'm looking forward to anything you do with this blog, though ✨💫

luna you continue to be a precious beacon of support and im *:, thank you.

themed days/weeks agreed upon, vote #1! certainly i was thinking that every week would have at least 1-3 days with something that makes it fun to look forward to. keeping on that ball is hard, but it might be a fun challenge and help keep me creative! (=｀ω´=) ✨

thank you again, luna! 💜✨

[extantrose]

It's been a hot minute (or, uh, few months!) but regardless of the silence, I have been thinking hard on this blog and what it is I want to do with it! For one, I really like my username. Don't want to waste that. Past that, for a really long time, I had... no idea what to do with it. (':

The truth of the matter is, I really want to create some content. And that's totally on me to do so! Though right now it's quite clear to me that maybe shooting for a blog-style roleplay scene wasn't my best option- comfortable for me! Well-trodden! But I don't really have the community, the external interest, or honestly even really the time or energy to do so while I'm working.

Still, there's lots of different ways to write! I could definitely turn this into a content blog- a place where I can do things like stories, or headcanons, or AUs, and that would be splendid! I might even manage to find some time to share art. I'd really love to do things like that!

The big question is, do I want to keep it focused in on Saeran, from Mystic Messenger, or do I want to broaden it? I certainly have the interest to write and draw things for Obey Me, not to mention the other members of Mystic Messenger.

I could do themed days, themed weeks, sleepover saturdays, mundays, art days, reblog or feature/shoutout days, in-character/roleplay days, all kinds of things, probably. I just need to figure out how to organize, and of course whether or not anybody is or knows anyone who's interested in that!

If you tell me what you want, or even send me requests, I can start piecing together interest and how I want to make some content and maybe finally get that ball rolling!

Have a lovely weekend, everyone! ฅ^. ̫ .^ฅ

[extantrose]

{{ revisions to blog to be expected soon! id really like for this place to be active, but i believe i've approached it the wrong way. allow me some time to mull over how exactly i'm going to organize things, and i'll write a more proper update and get the ball rolling again, hopefully! look forward to further updates. }}

[extantrose]

yayyy my first MC x SAERAN comic~~

was rusty so I wanted to draw a short comic as a warm up ^_^ 

[extantrose]

[extantrose]

Ah... Not to mention, I was so caught up in the whole "birthday" thing going on that now that it's passed, the days kind of make a little less sense.

[extantrose]

How was your birthday?

Surprisingly tolerable.

I worried a lot about my stupid brother and that overly friendly group of his to somehow rope each other- and me- into some over the top celebration or something, but... We actually found a pretty good compromise at the last minute, I think.

I got time to myself for awhile and we still got to do some stuff he wanted, so. If he complains, I'll make sure he regrets it. ^^

Thanks for asking.

[extantrose]

It's your birthday right? Hopefully this day was decent for you, good, hopefully, but sometimes it's just a okay day. I hope it was nice, anyways, even if it isn't your favorite thing in the world to deal with. :3c

Hi Kait.

Sorry this is late. I was... procrastinating.;; But my birthday was... well, okay. I think "okay" is a good word for it.

Uh. Thanks for checking. You're just making sure I'm okay, right? So... Thanks.

[extantrose]

That gives me a lot of opportunity to really open up on Saeyoung about all the weird ways he twists himself in his chair when he's bored and thinks nobody's looking.

Or to talk about how tall the towers of soda cans get when he lets them pile up, and how he seems to think the fact it's vaguely castle-shaped makes it okay that you can smell the stale soda from all the way across the room...

Or the bizarre ways he tries to challenge himself when he goes too idle, like typing or pressing buttons meant for hands with his feet, or playing with text to speech or speaker functions for his odd interests, or balancing things on his head that don't belong to him, or...

A great many other things.

But considering I've developed some bizarre habits myself while living with him, I think I'll give him a break... For now. ^^

[extantrose]

I walked in on my younger sister chugging a bottle of liquid coffee creamer, once she saw me she just looked at me dead in the eyes as she finished it. This is the 4th time this has happened. I just want some for my coffee

The fourth time... Does your sister have a death wish? I mean... That can't be healthy.

Ugh.;; I think the curse of having siblings is you just have to cope with the fact they do weird things when they think you're not looking.

Ah... If it's something you told her to stop and she hasn't, though, I have some ideas on how to surprise her and make her think twice a little more often. ^^

[extantrose]

How are you today? It's been weird for me, people are annoying to deal with.

Even on my best days, that's an agreeable statement... Usually.

Ah, but. I'm alright. This time of year has me restless, so I've been busy, or... trying to be.

I'm curious what would make you say that, though. Did something happen?

[extantrose]

You’ve never really celebrated your birthday before.

“Saeran,” your brother gets your attention with a brightness you don’t understand. “Saeran, do you know what day-”

“It’s our birthday,” you cut him off a little harsher than you intend. Immediately, you yank your gaze away from your brother and down to the ground in shame to stare blankly at the rope he’d just pulled off of your ankle. Even at such a tender age, you don’t understand why he has to do this every year. Nothing ever changes. Where does he get the energy...? It must be something he gets to see when your mother sends him out.

Despite your harshness, Saeyoung doesn’t seem perturbed or dampened in the least. He grabs your wrist and tugs gently; he has to make sure you’re okay to walk before he goes towing you stubbornly, dangerously towards the door, talking bright, looking bright as he goes.

“Yeah, it’s our birthday! And it’s perfect- Can you see it through the curtains? Come on, let’s just sit outside for a minute while mom isn’t here.”

You tug back almost as soon as you realize where it is you’re headed, the fear of your mother’s wrath nauseatingly nerve-wracking, but Saeyoung knows how to butter you up. You’re not even arguing with him for fifteen seconds before he gives you such a look that you’re not sure he isn’t peering straight into your soul.

“Saeran. Do you know how old we are today?”

You open your mouth to answer, only to find that you’re not sure. Your face goes red with embarrassment, and you break the look that he has you locked in. This is frustrating- you wish he’d just shut up and stop getting so excited over useless things sometimes.

“... No. I don’t think... Um.”

I don’t think it’s important. You hold your tongue. He doesn’t like it when you say things like that so you try to spare his feelings, but you can see him frown when you look back up at him.

“We’re thirteen today, Saeran.” He grabs your shoulders and smiles. “We’re teenagers now, for real. We really made it!”

He tugs on you again, finally dragging you outside into the blinding sunlight. You get goosebumps from the whole experience; having to adjust your eyes to the brightness to find how immensely green the whole world is just outside the door. The sun’s warm rays beating down both angrily and pleasantly on your pale, sickly skin.

You’re thirteen. The implication hits you while you’re lost in looking around at the vibrancy of our surroundings, the impossible immensity of a sky hanging so widely above you that your soul might break if you take it all in all at once. You look suddenly at Saeyoung, who’s looking back at you as happily as he is expectantly.

“... We’re thirteen.”

“Yep.”

“How much longer until we...”

He makes a sound, bringing his hands up to stop you from continuing. “It’ll be soon... It won’t be, um. You know, it’ll take awhile longer, but, look! We made it this far, and we’re definitely more than halfway there by now, you know?”

You don’t know. You don’t know what he’s seen that makes him think otherwise... But he’s seen more than you, easy, so you have to trust him despite the anxiety swirling through your guts.

“Ehh, hey!” He sees you frowning and brightens back up immediately, swinging a hand to get your attention. “I told someone it was my birthday yesterday when mom sent me out for stuff, and she let me take a pack of rice crackers for free... She was super nice. Have you ever had a rice cracker before?”

You remember that the last time you two got to celebrate, he tried to bring you something... Before your birthday, but it went terribly stale and dry. The both of you ate it for the sentiment, but as you’re remembering it, you start to think maybe Saeyoung didn’t have to bring anything after all.

“Well...”

“Hey, it’ll be good this time! I promise. Look, they’re all wrapped up individually still. See?”

And so you shared one of the best... and last birthdays you had with your brother for a very long time.

---

...

---

You’ve never really celebrated your birthday before.

“Saeran,” your brother gets your attention with a poorly hidden mischief in his tone. “Say, have you ever seen a picture of a place before and thought, wow! I should be there right. Now.”

He looks at you as you roll your eyes and sigh at him, remaining unperturbed by your unenthused response.

“No,” you sigh. “I don’t want to go anywhere for my birthday.”

“Whaaaat?” He splutters dramatically, placing a hand over his chest as though grievously offended. “Birthday???? You said you didn’t want anything for your birthday-”

“So that includes a plane ticket,” you cut him off flatly. “Or a road trip.”

He puffs out the breath of air he was holding in his chest in a way that sends his messy bangs flying comedically for just a moment.

“I already told your friends in the RFA... I’m not interested, as well. They’re listening a lot better than you are. They said ‘happy birthday,’ though. To both of us... Um. If you want to sign in and tell them thanks or something. I tried, but I don’t know if... er. If it got through that I meant it.”

You grimace a little at the thought. Yoosung and Zen try so hard to be nice to you that it makes it a little too obvious that they’re uncomfortable.

While you’re lamenting your poor people skills, Saeyoung loosens up his posture and drops his goofy act. You look over at him, but before you get the chance to figure out what he’s doing, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you in for a snug and all-encompassing hug. If his M.O. is distraction, he’s definitely got it down pat- you almost forget what you were moping about immediately as you pull yourself back out of shock enough to try and... hug... him back? Gingerly, but your arms fall around him, too.

“Saeran... It’s our birthday,” he states with a warm, sullen tone. “Do you know how old we are today?”

The question makes you feel a little numb, but you nod. “... Yes.”

He squeezes you a little tighter, then loosens up to lean back and look at you, hands on your shoulders. It’s hard to know what he’s thinking when he looks at you; your brother here before you stands as a more complicated man than he was before. You suppose that you could say the same about yourself; the two of you have been through quite the ride these past so many years. Almost half your lives...

“... We’re here.”

It’s you who speaks up this time. Quietly, with a complex resolve you think suits the both of you.

“We’re here,” he repeats fondly. “We’re both here, for real this time... And I just want you to know I’m not going anywhere, Saeran. Not ever again.”

You can practically see the apologies he’s barely keeping to himself floating around his head as he tries to tell you, tell himself, tell the universe his reassurances. You.. You know he’s trying his best, but when he gets like this...

“... Look-”

“I just want to make sure you’re happy, Saeran. I need to know you’re okay-”

“I am happy.” Your voice comes out frustrated as you back up a step, feeling a little suffocated. “... I’m... I mean, I will be. I’m alright... Okay?” You drop your gaze back down to the floor as you rein your flaring tone back in to calm it down. You can see Saeyoung’s expression fall out of the corner of your eye at your outburst, just before he resolves and hides it. Fuck. You hurt his feelings again.

“... Sorry. I didn’t mean...”

“Look, Saeyoung.” You try to catch him before he gets stuck trying to figure out what he did to upset you this time. “Why don’t you... go spend a little time with MC for the day.”

“But-” He tries to protest, full of concern before you cut him off again.

“And, while you’re out, I’ll pick something good up for dinner. You and MC can go celebrate however you want, I get to have time to do whatever I want, and... At the end, we can all sit together for dinner so you don’t have to sit there stressing over how much nothing we did for... Ah.”

Your birthday. It hits you how weird it is. This is the first birthday you’re spending in a long, long time not feeling like it was a complete and utter mistake to make it this far. The incongruency of just being at peace with it is paradoxically unsettling, but you shake it off and ignore the way your brother is already slowly perking back up with an obnoxious amount of hope and appreciation at your words.

“... Look, just go. You can even buy a stupid cake and we can sing the stupid birthday song when you get back or whatever, just get awa- Oof.”

He cuts you off with another hug, this time fervent and overly clingy as he coos brotherly adoration at you. You bicker at him as he dotes and the two of you share a noisy moment before you level out, and finally, as you both quiet down and the playful tone fades away, you find it in you to hug Saeyoung- really, truly hug him.

We made it, you repeat in your head. You... The both of you managed to live it out to see yourselves make it to this point, despite everything that could’ve stopped you. Everything the both of you have been through that the other can or can’t imagine- things you’ll share and things you’ll never know about each other in the lifetimes that you’ve spent separated, never knowing what the other was up to.

“... Happy birthday, Saeyoung.”

“Happy birthday Saeran."

[extantrose]

{{ ive gotten quite busy quite suddenly, so im QUITE LATE for birthday celebrations and queue feeding but when i find my time again things will resume here, promise! }}

[extantrose]

ready for halloween Buy me a ko-fi.com/Hasukouu

[extantrose]

Mc connects with the choi twins through emotional back-hugs