excruciatings
tw.
2K posts
i can't seem to exist loud enough to make you listen.
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excruciatings · 22 days ago
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ctrl alt del myself
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excruciatings · 22 days ago
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isn't it insane how you can be having a normal convo with someone meanwhile you're literally disassembling a razor to c*t yourself with 🤡
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excruciatings · 22 days ago
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excruciatings · 1 year ago
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i was like doing pretty ok resisting the urge to spiral after monday but then my meds got delivered an hour ago and now i'm struggling 🤡
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excruciatings · 1 year ago
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how to let go how to let go how to let go how to let go how to let go how to let go how to let go how to let go how to let go how to let go
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excruciatings · 1 year ago
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wanting to hurt yourself because you want the attention, but simultanously knowing that same attention will come with a type of worry and disappointment that you don't want
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excruciatings · 1 year ago
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add an ed and a trauma disorder to that btw (:
sometimes i remember i literally have a borderline personality disorder, an avoidant personality disorder, a social anxiety disorder and chronic depression and i just go “ha ha i’m in danger! (:” 
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excruciatings · 1 year ago
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why am i so fucking insane?! i am craving to be self destructive and to go further into this breakdown!!! i actually want to suffer rn. the rational part of me knows i need to distract myself, think of happy things, ask for help, but that fucked up little part of me wants to sink deeper and deeper and just let myself drown for a bit
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excruciatings · 1 year ago
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i truly don't understand how i was able to cut so deep shortly before i went clean because now after not doing it for months at a time usually i can only make shallow cuts bc it hurts too much to go deeper?? did i really become desentized to the pain back then? i wanna go back actually
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excruciatings · 1 year ago
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excruciatings · 1 year ago
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excruciatings · 1 year ago
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excruciatings · 1 year ago
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Being mentally ill jn your 20s is not the same as being mentally ill as a teenager. It’s just embarrassing. Everyone got better and I’m still stuck in my mind. Nothing improved, nothing changed.
Why can’t I move on and just be better?
~M 10.10.2022 22:33
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excruciatings · 1 year ago
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excruciatings · 1 year ago
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No, this is fine *seething* I don’t think your happiness is a personal attack on me *dying mad with envy* (I hate you)
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excruciatings · 1 year ago
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excruciatings · 1 year ago
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what they dont tell you about growing up as a very lonely little girl is that you grow up and still a part of you remains that very lonely little girl
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