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Statistics
We looked inside some of the posts by ex-masturbator and here's what we found interesting.
Average Info
Notes Per Post
742K
Likes Per Post
419K
Reblog Per Post
322K
Reply Per Post
740
Time Between Posts
9 days ago
Number of Posts By Type
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17
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
After the announcement of the deal with Yahoo!, there were 170K signatures of unhappy Tumblr users petitioning to prevent the sale in 2013.
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a demiurge is when you kind of want something
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first tab open to the bible in the original hebrew second tab open to the other bible in the original greek. second monitor displaying a picture of the "hang in there baby!" cat third tab on the first monitor open to a google search for "nephilim bones archiological excavation real or fake" every link is purple. second monitor flips to the next picture in the slideshow and it's the "hang in there baby!" cat but by a different artist
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I decided to take a risk last night and show my mom a religious meme and all she did in response was sigh deeply and say “I can’t send that to my church group chat”
The meme in question
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does anyone hve any sin recommendations i just fell from the garden of eden five seconds ago
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For anyone interested in some further reading on these topics, I have a rough bibliography attached to this comic available on my Patreon (it's a public post.)
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i was talking to this guy yesterday and he said "i'm pretty sure i'm straight but i might be a little bicurious. there are definitely some guys i might hook up with. like samson." and i said "samson?" and he said "yeah. like from the bible"
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this post's hypothetical by itself is already ridiculous but the thing that gets me is how the wording implies two very funny things that become funnier in tandem
1. "Accidentally, the pitcher tosses a Christian baby" means this is a mistake on the pitcher's part. i imagine the pitcher is breastfeeding on the field and they pitch and they look down at their hands and they see the ball still in the glove and they go "fuck"
2. hitting the baby will still win you the game
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masturbation is evil not for any puritan anti-fun reason but because it has permanently claimed so many verbs
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