ewoksfordays

[ewoksfordays]

sid finally manages to right himself long enough to put his skis back on and make it down the hill. by the time he gets to the bottom the novelty of skiing and snow and mountains and canada and everything else has just completely worn off and he makes a bee-line for the bar.

"an extra-spicy caesar, please," sid says to the bartender, "and keep those bad boys coming."

[ewoksfordays]

sid struggles to upright himself and make his way uphill towards his detached ski. every step he takes just pushes his legs farther down into the loose snow, and after a solid fifteen minutes he has still not managed to make much progress.

"uggghhhh," sid groans, "i do not love pow."

[ewoksfordays]

suddenly, before sid is even really aware of what's happened, he is buried head first in the side of the mountain. his feelings of flying are like a distant memory, and he cannot seem to remember why he thought that skiing was ever a good idea in the first place, .

"oh god why," sid whimpers, the sounds of his pathetic snivelling muffled by the snow. "i have never been so unhappy in my life. i will never say yes to face shots again."

[ewoksfordays]

sid feels like he is flying. "i love pow!" he shouts happily, his ski slicing through the snow. 

he starts going so quickly that the new powder is continuously being flung up into his face, but he doesn't even care. "bring on the face shots," sid cries triumphantly into the mountains, "i am unstoppable!"

[ewoksfordays]

after having a few good runs on the front of the mountain, sid spots this sign and follows a ridge along to the back side. "pfft, caution," he says to himself, puffing out his chest and angling his skis towards the steepest section. "caution is for gorbs and gapers. i'm the best skier on this mountain."

[ewoksfordays]

sid decides to ditch his responsibilities and become a ski bum. as he gears up for his first ever ski day, he thinks, "i'm gonna rip so hard. no bunny hill for this guy, i'm going right for the pow!"

[ewoksfordays]

after many years of denial, sid finally decides that he is ready to admit to his addiction and subsequent behavioural issues:

"i want to apologize to everyone that has been harmed because of my twinings problem," sid mumbles, "and for everyone who ever had to deal with me when the grocery store didn't have any mint green tea in stock - in the mornings especially. i want to assure all of you that i'm better now, and that i'm working on the beginnings of a really pretty gnarly coffee reliance, so i'm planning on always being extraordinarily caffeinated. i think it's probably just better that way."

[ewoksfordays]

after almost two years of blender inactivity, sid decides to bring smoothies back into his diet. all he can think as he prepares his ingredients is that he has really come a long way from using only ice cream, bananas and nutella. sid mentally pats himself on the back for his achievement and mutters, “spinach, fuck yeah.”

[ewoksfordays]

sid comes to the conclusion that wearing his scarf might actually cause him more pain than pleasure in the long run. he realizes that - while he is still very much proud of his knitting accomplishments - there might be better ways of showcasing his talents than repeatedly eating shit on the pavement.

[ewoksfordays]

sid proudly shows off his first ever completed knitting project. he is puzzled that it came out as large as it did when the intention was always for it to be a scarf, but he refuses to let this minor setback derail his knitting dreams. "i am destined for yarn fanaticism," sid thinks fervently, "and i'm gonna wear the crap out of this thing no matter what."

you're an inspiration to us all, sid. 

[ewoksfordays]

sid decides to attempt another exploration of calgary now that the weather conditions are more favourable. he exhausts himself climbing to the top of a hill in an effort to get a good photo of his new city skyline, but all of his suffering and heavy breathing is wasted when he realizes that he has no idea how to work the zoom on his camera lens. 

even with all of the sweating and unhappiness, sid mostly just wishes that he could have taken at least one photo where the insides of his nostrils weren't entirely exposed. "this," sid thinks, "is probably why people carry those kleenex packages around with them."

[ewoksfordays]

sid attends beakernight at beakerfest and finds himself in awe of the installations. “if i had a giant, mechanical, fireball-producing octopus,” sid thinks, “i would be completely unstoppable.”

thankfully, sid’s thoughts of world domination are interrupted by his discovery of laser cat. he is too busy raving to engage in any sort of diabolical plotting and, in fact, gets so fucked up on laser beams that he forgets his evil tendencies entirely.

thank goodness for laser cat. 

[ewoksfordays]

sid enjoys an opa platter for lunch. in a moment of extreme weakness at the register, he opts for a 4 ounce tub of extra tzatziki instead of his usual 2. realizing that it is approximately the size of his leg, sid lets out a resigned sigh and thinks, "this is going straight to my hips."

[ewoksfordays]

sid wakes up to find that a stranger has taken over his bed. "this is no ewok," sid realizes. "i've never seen the likes of this demon creature." he tries to force the space invader out, but his frantic shooing only serves to interest the monster more. sid collapses in a fit of fear and confusion, and the beast settles onto the bed unfazed.  

[ewoksfordays]

after what ended up being an unexpectedly stressful day, sid snuggles into his new bed in his new home. he has decided to maintain a positive attitude about his move to calgary despite the hoth-like temperatures and the apparent lack of other members of his own species. he reassures himself with the thought that he's sure to find another ewok sooner or later, but what he doesn't realize is that he is literally the only one dumb enough to travel this far north.

silly, stupid sid.

[ewoksfordays]

having finally sorted out all of his belongings, sid settles down with a newly acquired book on graffiti. sid doesn't really know why he likes those kinds of books so much: there aren't even words, only pictures. "does it still count as reading then?" sid wonders, secretly thinking that he totally has what it takes to become a deep philosophical thinker. 

[ewoksfordays]

sid finally makes it back to his new place, but realizes that he has to unpack before he can defrost and relax after his snowy misadventure. "moving totally blows," thinks sid, wondering why he even bothered to fold any of his clothes in the first place.