evilcornmaze

[evilcornmaze]

guys theyre dating bugs int he maze? cockraoch??

[evilcornmaze]

so where is the pharmacy in this maze? im in dire need of cough syrup

[evilcornmaze]

gonna be honest i ran out of canned food and started eating the corn. last i checked it was january. what thefcuk happened??

[evilcornmaze]

[evilcornmaze]

that feeling when someone new wanders into the everchanging time-fuckery horroscape that is the evil corn maze….. you aint gonna find an exit anytime soon, buddy. and even if you do, it’s probably not gonna lead to your time anyway. godspeed, newbie. godspeed.

[evilcornmaze]

maze affirmations:

i am never lost. only turned around.

my mint plants are fresh and keep me safe.

i will find the exit to my own time - in my own time.

the corn does not call to me, begging me to approach it’s walls, to take that first step into the stalks, to keep walking until i sink through the earth, buried by roots and stalks and husks.

i am not hungry.

my backpack is light and easy to carry.

the scarecrows are not real and cannot hurt me.

brother bethaniel loves me and cares for my well-being.

i do not blame myself for getting lost turned around in the maze. anyone could make that mistake. i am not lost. i am not lost. i know where i am at all times. the exits dont all look the same. i dont question if i have been here before. why does the corn still look as fresh as it always does? days pass but nothing changes. i am not lost. i am just turned around. i keep turning but nothing seems to change. how big is this place?

my supplies are plenty and enough to last me for ages.

the weather is great and my mood is stable!

[evilcornmaze]

if you heard agonised end-of-the-world-esque screaming - dont worry! thats was just me realizing i lost my tamagotchi somewhere in the corn when i was running from the evil scarecrows :(

[evilcornmaze]

i think we’re hunting each other for sport. in another universe

[evilcornmaze]

man i wish i could've brought my cat with me into the evil corn maze. i know time passes differently on the outside, so when (if) i find my way back to my time it'll be like no time has passed at all for her, but still... hope she's doing well even if she doesn't know i'm lost

[evilcornmaze]

disappointed to realize that most posts about being stuck in the labyrinth are figurative or comical in nature i thought i had finally found a community of likeminded maze enthusiasts

[evilcornmaze]

[evilcornmaze]

[evilcornmaze]

lacing my joint with dried and ground up corn from the evil corn maze. gonna meet god!!! :D

[evilcornmaze]

lacing my joint with dried and ground up corn from the evil corn maze. gonna meet god!!! :D

[evilcornmaze]

Coping with being stuck here by pretending I'm in the Dylan O'Brian in a Location cinematic universe. Maze Runner, Love and Monsters, the post writed itself

[evilcornmaze]

If anyone stumbles across the seventies rock band The Fruits of Our Labor could you tell the lead-singer Monique to stop releasing their songs about corn every time she manages to escape the maze into her time? My Walkman keeps picking up Greatest Hits of the 70's radio stations and I just wanna listen to David Bowie without hearing Cornmaze Nightmares (Evil Scarecrow Remix) over and over. Like, I like The Fruits as much as the next girl, and I admit that them recording the songs in the abandoned hippie van in the evil maze really gives it a cool sort of gritty psychedelic sound, but PLEASE

[evilcornmaze]

what's in my bag, lost in an evil corn-maze edition:

sony walkman + headphones (no batteries)

four empty plastic coke zero bottles

popcorn spice, butter flavour

knife

lighter with no fluid

tinned mackerel in tomato sauce

hay????

mint plant

mint plant

mint plant

mint plant

old playboy magazine (thanks brother bethaniel...)

notebook and pen

mint plant

stray corn kernels

hip flask with moonshine (thanks brother bethaniel<3)

cowboy hat (from ernest the 1880's cowboy. if anyone sees him tell him to come get his fucking hat i cannot keep carrying it around)

mint plant

half-empty snus tin

severed evil scarecrow head (still moving)

mint plant

the bible in latin (thanks brother bethaniel?)

one single northern corn rootworm beetle in a small jar

mint plant

a copy of stephen kings "children of the corn" and whoever put that there you are a BASTARD and i WILL find you