evilbeedle

[evilbeedle]

Ok, ok, I made it up. I suppose you can fly which is why this works for you… now on to find… Goose? An odd name, but adequately evil.

is there anything I should be on my guard against?

Also I am glad to hear you’re finally finding your way out of there… I should teach you my evil teleportation sometime. It’s far more efficient.

Ooc: the below Stock Photo is the way that Eviliest Hyrules Evil house sits

[evilbeedle]

no, I think it’s very admirable… if I were to have a home, this would honestly be ideal, even.

it will however take a large amount of my evil power to teleport up all that height to check on your raven…

Ooc: the below Stock Photo is the way that Eviliest Hyrules Evil house sits

[evilbeedle]

AAREGHHHH???? WHAT ARE YOU????

don’t make me use my fire breath! >:(

Wanna buy a flamethrower?

It kills bugs

-the bunny merchant

@bunnynotravioli t

No I do NOT want to buy such a thing!

*steals it*

[evilbeedle]

WHY

Ooc: the below Stock Photo is the way that Eviliest Hyrules Evil house sits

[evilbeedle]

no! I am a force of nature! Also I ate the flamethrower.

Wanna buy a flamethrower?

It kills bugs

-the bunny merchant

@bunnynotravioli t

No I do NOT want to buy such a thing!

*steals it*

[evilbeedle]

I see. I’ll return with news shortly! Please stay evilly safe.

I have gotten lost in an evil forest surrounded by sunshine and sugar

Is this punishment?

[evilbeedle]

wrong answer.

HIIYYA! How do you feel about beetles?

neutral, i suppose.

depends on how close they are to my face at any moment. but objectively, they can be kind of cute!

[evilbeedle]

Wanna buy a flamethrower?

It kills bugs

-the bunny merchant

@bunnynotravioli t

No I do NOT want to buy such a thing!

*steals it*

[evilbeedle]

Uhh. I can’t deal with this right now.

*disappears*

I’ve just now found out of the Evil Links…And I’ve been pondering: If there‘s an Evil version of every living being, does that mean that there’s an Evil Beedle? What would he even do, then? Would he steal your bugs, or would he give you bugs in return of arrows?…Or would he hate beetles? That sounds cursed. I don’t want to continue that train of thought any longer.

[evilbeedle]

uhhhggg… I do not like ravens. But I suppose I can tolerate them for a moment.

I’m afraid I don’t quite know where your house is, though.

I have gotten lost in an evil forest surrounded by sunshine and sugar

Is this punishment?

[evilbeedle]

Surrounded by that which you cannot evilly stand… I feel your pain…

you are free to take a break from work; you’ve been nothing but dedicated! And. Well. Do you need anything from me in the way of help?

I have gotten lost in an evil forest surrounded by sunshine and sugar

Is this punishment?

[evilbeedle]

uh. You are welcome? What did I do…

I’ve just now found out of the Evil Links…And I’ve been pondering: If there‘s an Evil version of every living being, does that mean that there’s an Evil Beedle? What would he even do, then? Would he steal your bugs, or would he give you bugs in return of arrows?…Or would he hate beetles? That sounds cursed. I don’t want to continue that train of thought any longer.

[evilbeedle]

I am horrified and disgusted.

I’ve just now found out of the Evil Links…And I’ve been pondering: If there‘s an Evil version of every living being, does that mean that there’s an Evil Beedle? What would he even do, then? Would he steal your bugs, or would he give you bugs in return of arrows?…Or would he hate beetles? That sounds cursed. I don’t want to continue that train of thought any longer.

[evilbeedle]

Oh dear evil hylia it’s that creepy girl again

I’ve just now found out of the Evil Links…And I’ve been pondering: If there‘s an Evil version of every living being, does that mean that there’s an Evil Beedle? What would he even do, then? Would he steal your bugs, or would he give you bugs in return of arrows?…Or would he hate beetles? That sounds cursed. I don’t want to continue that train of thought any longer.

[evilbeedle]

…I am trying to HELP you for pity’s sake! I used that tone because when you talk so negatively it does sound silly! Instead of wallowing in your misery and apologizing for every misstep, which is how this argument started mind you, you could do something about it!

If you really consider yourself a failure (which honestly I DO NOT see, perhaps explain?), put effort into growing better!

I have perfectly good reasons to distrust you, you know. Our first meeting was everything other than pleasant for me, and you began this one by asking me a lot of questions about how my fellow evils and function. When I asked you to sign a contract to confirm your goodwill towards myself, you declared you didn’t know how to read! Which is fine! Not great that no one taught you, but it clearly wasn’t by choice! And so I decide to help you, and what do you reveal? That you seemingly remembered how other people had written your name this entire time? It feels very inconsistent to me, and possibly like you were trying to delay the signing!

HOWEVER. I did in fact let that go. I said I was willing to forget it! I will still keep my eye on you, because whenever I grow suspicious, you suddenly start appealing to my emotions, playing helpless when I know you are quite powerful, and all in all showing many signs of manipulating me!

suppose, though, that you are telling the truth. (and I am not against trusting you! I’m just not a very trusting individual and you are not making it easy…) if that is so then you are a failure. Tough luck, we all fail sometimes! I haven’t eradicated all beetles and every second I spend on something else gives them more time to reproduce, but I haven’t given up on my dreams! Mostly…

I keep trying! If you really failed (Hyrule seems perfectly fine to ME, though?), then make it right instead of treating yourself like a loser. You seem more like a WINNER to me, as much as I hate to admit it. You’ve got spirit!

As far as the accusations about never listening to children go, you might be projecting? Sure I don’t quite trust you, but that’s because I know you’re quite powerful and I’ve been paying a LOT of attention to your words. Let it never be said that I’m not on my guard around children!

I’ve just now found out of the Evil Links…And I’ve been pondering: If there‘s an Evil version of every living being, does that mean that there’s an Evil Beedle? What would he even do, then? Would he steal your bugs, or would he give you bugs in return of arrows?…Or would he hate beetles? That sounds cursed. I don’t want to continue that train of thought any longer.

[evilbeedle]

ahh. I see. Well, I suppose I’ll go look for some. And perhaps consult with Evil Malonnn…

Evil luck to you in your endeavors!

I’m not having an evil midlife crisis

[evilbeedle]

it was recommended to me by someone very trusted, I’ll have you know! Their ideas haven’t failed me yet!

WOAH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS. Good evil heavens, boy! In what way am I making fun of you? AND do NOT pull out that language on me when I have been nothing but polite in the way I have spoken to you!

All I am baffled by is why you can already write! And all I am telling you to do is stop calling yourself a failure! Both are perfectly reasonable and I have every right to say what you need to hear!

I’ve just now found out of the Evil Links…And I’ve been pondering: If there‘s an Evil version of every living being, does that mean that there’s an Evil Beedle? What would he even do, then? Would he steal your bugs, or would he give you bugs in return of arrows?…Or would he hate beetles? That sounds cursed. I don’t want to continue that train of thought any longer.