evil-knight-oathbreaker

[evil-knight-oathbreaker]

hi evil knight *bats eyelashes at you* how do you feel about enemies who kiss just asking

The rumours you may have heard regarding this hold a grain of truth. I am indeed VERY amenable to a light peck from someone actively trying to disembowel me.

[evil-knight-oathbreaker]

There is no bond more sacred then the one between a teenage girl and the random old lady she's helping with the timetable at a bus stop.

[evil-knight-oathbreaker]

[evil-knight-oathbreaker]

huge fan of being verbose or using archaic language to just say really dumb stuff. would highly recommend. was funny then and its funny now.

[evil-knight-oathbreaker]

Just got given the sword of prophecy and, god I don't really know how to put this but, this thing is ugly. I know you've got to wield it to defeat the old guard of the now fallen kingdom and rise in their stead, but i just cant. think I'm gonna use one from home-switch to this one at the last possible second-then switch back to the better looking one before anyone notices. perhaps my only recourse.

[evil-knight-oathbreaker]

a party of adventurers that are all equally convinced that they are in completely different forms of media

[evil-knight-oathbreaker]

woke wizard just threw a grand coronation for some 10 year old after he found a rusty sword in a puddle. MEANWHILE tax paying evil knights are out here actually putting the work in, and getting squat. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE

[evil-knight-oathbreaker]

cashier at the supermarket asked a customer to solve his riddles three if she wanted to buy a vape and when she got one wrong he just straight up disintegrated her. i have got to get out of this town man

[evil-knight-oathbreaker]

back in my day we didn't have 'workplace safety regulations'. you just tripped and fell into the bottomless pits left around LIKE A MAN!!!

[evil-knight-oathbreaker]

[evil-knight-oathbreaker]

just letting you guys know that once we reach 200 followers I'm sending you off to war. so maybe start prepping or whatever.

[evil-knight-oathbreaker]

yeah the women love me dude. what's that? why do they seek my death again and again? why do they never rest from their eternal pursuit of whetting their lips with my craven blood? uh yeah don't worry about it man.

[evil-knight-oathbreaker]

my dog is so nice to me while I tickle her tummy but. when I stop.she tries to kill me

[evil-knight-oathbreaker]

scheming advisor just asked if I would help him overthrow the king and send the land into a thousand years of darkness

[evil-knight-oathbreaker]

EVIL KNIGHT WRAPPED 2024

You were:

FORSAKEN 20 times!

COMPELLED BY DARK FORCES 8 times!

DIVORCED 1 time!

FELLED ONLY TO RISE ONCE MORE 112 times!

[evil-knight-oathbreaker]

You are the Dark Queen—the most powerful being of your entire universe. Your lair is breached by an aspiring hero—a pitiful thing, easily crushed.

Except they keep coming back.

PLAY ON ITCH.IO