everythingiamlearning

[everythingiamlearning]

“Can I say something to young ladies here? I’m trying to pick my words carefully here. Your husband, whoever he is, single ladies, will have an unbelievable amount of influence over your sons and daughters in regards to spiritual things. If you want your children to love Jesus deeply, hold out for a man that is Godly. And let me tell you this: I am well aware that Godly men are rare. Lots of neat Christian boys, not a lot of Godly men. And we’re working our tails off for you to try to develop some into that. But don’t settle, because it’s better that you be lonely now than you be married and lonely later. Are you tracking with me? It is better that you be lonely now than for you to get married to a man that will teach your kids everything but the way of Jesus.”

— Matt Chandler (via faith-becomes-love)

[everythingiamlearning]

“creating safe spaces for vulnerability stimulates a healthy reciprocating love.”

— — only pursue that which allows you to be yourself. // zintle ramano

[everythingiamlearning]

“If we wait until we are ready we will be waiting for the rest of our lives.”

— Lemony Snicket

[everythingiamlearning]

“When I say “for better or for worse,” I’m going to mean it as I lean on the strength and faithfulness of Christ’s promises and purpose in my groom’s life. But when he says, “for better or for worse,” I will stand with a clean conscious that I have done my part in communicating what he’s getting into. By the time we exchange those vows, we will have shown our scars, the blood on our hands, the poison in our heart, the pain from our past, the fears of the future, and the undeniable neediness we have for the hope and power of a loving God who will honor honesty and empower us to fulfill the vows we make before Him to each other.”

— LB, Thoughts on Marriage

[everythingiamlearning]

a relationship isn’t always 50/50. some days a person will struggle. you suck it up and pick up that 80/20 cus they need you. that’s love.

[everythingiamlearning]

Before I fall in love again 1. I want us to be friends. Which means, I want to be able to eat my favourite cheese crust pizza with you, while having cheese all over my face and even in my hair, without feeling embarrassed or concerned about it. I want to be comfortable with you, I want to be okay about being messy, irritating, embarrassing, disgusting, petty while with you. Because I will be petty when I see my ex best friend post a happy picture and I will be messy during my finals and I will be embarrassing when I meet your parents for I suck at meeting parents. I want to be okay with being the way I am and the only way to be okay is to know that you’re okay with me being things other than beautiful, graceful and composed at all times. 2. I want to be able to have long and passionate conversations with you not just about existential things but also about what went wrong in the ending of that book and how kids are affected by media and how tomato basil combination always works. I want to have conversations where we may not always have the same views but our fundamental values always fall in place. I want to talk to you about the beauty of the stars but I also want to talk to you about the disgusting mentality behind certain societal norms. 3. I want to see how consistent your actions are with your words. I don’t want to fall for love letters or poems, for sweet Instagram captions or long birthday texts, I want to fall in love with you showing up on time and keeping your promises. 4. I want to take it slow. I want our story to work out in years, not months. I want to respect time and space this time. 5. I want to make sure I am not seeking love from you for the lack of love I have for myself. I want to make sure you aren’t a void I am filling in, you are not an alternative to the things I can’t give myself. I want to make sure you are not doing the same. 6. I want to work out with my insecurities and fears from the past. I don’t want to project them on you, I don’t want to subject you to the doubts, suspicion and anger I carry from the people I have known in the past. 7. Before I fall in love again, I want to make a mattress with you. Of understanding and respect and trust. So when we fall, it doesn’t hurt.

creatingnikki  (via shareaquote)

[everythingiamlearning]

Intimacy requires courage because risk is inescapable. We cannot know at the outset how the relationship will affect us. Like a chemical mixture, if one of us is changed, both of us will be. Will we grow in self-actualization, or will it destroy us? The one thing we can be certain of is that if we let ourselves fully into the relationship for good or evil, we will not come out unaffected.

Rollo May, The Courage to Create (via thelovejournals)

[everythingiamlearning]

[everythingiamlearning]

In retrospect, I can see that “wait” is the most precious answer God can give us. It makes us cling to him rather than cling to any outcome.

V. R. Risner (via grace-after-the-fall)

[everythingiamlearning]

I like to call this one “Marriage Advice” or  “Some of the Things I’ve Learned by Being a Wife for One Year and Seven Months”

always put each other first. think of what he needs most, and be it. think of what would make him happy, and do it. even little things. especially little things!

encourage constantly, but don’t be afraid to call him out when he’s being lame, and don’t get defensive if he calls you out for being lame – you’re on the same team.

laugh together a lot. also, kiss a lot. have sex a lot too, obviously, but i think laughing and kissing are pretty important, maybe even more important.

be honest with how you’re feeling and always tell the truth, even if its awkward or sad or scary or hard. if you’re mad, say it. if he hurt your feelings, say it. if you are so happy you can’t even stand it, say it. if you want to leave the party, say it. if you sometimes can’t believe how lucky you are to be his wife, say it. if you feel distant, say it. he can’t read your mind, don’t expect him to. be honest always. (also, dropping hints rarely works. be as straight-forward as you can get.)

save money, you will need it someday, whether for medical bills or car trouble or to take your tired butts on a vacation. it helps to have some money set aside. 

don’t talk badly about him to other people.

pray for your marriage a lot. like a lot.

if you ever have babies, make sure you figure out how to be a married couple again, and not just parents.

make time for dates and real quality time. put away your phones and computer and TV shows and have real conversations, without distractions. make time each night to hear about his day and to talk about yours.

make him dinner from time to time, even if you don’t know how to cook meat very well and you burn the rice and the dessert crumbles into oblivion. he will appreciate it so much.

realize how blessed you are and be thankful. find joy in the little things.

try to always think the best of each other. don’t assume everything was meant to hurt you and don’t take every little thing personally, because some things just aren’t (but others definitely are, and you should address those).

don’t compare your marriage to anyone else, I mean it.  

share fears and struggles and worries (rather than keeping them to yourself), and face them head-on, together. its way better than facing them alone, trust me.

be silly, have tickle fights and dance parties, jump on him when he dutch-ovens you.

wake up together and go to sleep together. take it one day at a time. choose to love each other every single day, one day at a time.

[everythingiamlearning]

If you’re an introvert, make sure to date someone who you want to talk with after a long day. Someone who feels like a safe place. Someone who not only doesn’t drain your energy but even gives you more.

[everythingiamlearning]

Don't text, that's dumb. I mean, you can text, but not serious conversations, cause you can't read people's emotions and thoughts. It's very easy to misread, and there is a lot that can be read in between the lines that's not there.

Zach E Way//THE WAY FAM podcast

[everythingiamlearning]

Every true love and friendship is a story of unexpected transformation. If we are the same person before and after we loved, that means we haven’t loved enough.

Elif Shafak, The Forty Rules of Love (via wordsnquotes)

[everythingiamlearning]

Marry someone you want to annoy forever.

Unknown (via

deeplifequotes

)

Solid advice... Jk.