everydaymusingsofj

[everydaymusingsofj]

Why grief is a process and not just an emotion

I've been going through grief over the past few years and if I have understood anything about it ,it's that it is a process .You can never get over it ,but only through it . The more we resist it ,the more harder it becomes for us to acknowledge the pain and the new reality we are in post the loss of a loved one. Here's how grief has shaped me in the past few years

Do not let the voice of people around you drown you in their projected reality . They haven't lived your truth and your pain and sometimes they may know nothing about your profound loss.The best you can do is not weigh in all their unreasonable opinions and be hard on yourself .Let it go and let their opinions go.

Time heals .Yes it does .There are numerous days where all you can ever do is cry ,feel like giving up ,blame everyone and everything,question God and ask WHY ?! a million times. Amidst these feelings we will also learn to adapt to life after loss,embrace the void, look at the memories with pain ,live through the heartbreak,smile a little ,find new passions and friendships,understand and view life from a new perspective and just grow one day at a time.

Accept .Sound simple doesn't it ? Yet this is the hardest part of grief .Accepting the loss ,accepting the reality and living with the pain. Only God can grant this acceptance to the heart and with time lean how to navigate the emotions that flow through.

Hope .Looking for hope. Reminding yourself of the fact that there is a future ,one that will make you happy ,if not whole heartedly but happy just not in a way you'd always imagined.

Memories .This is a hard one .This shatters the soul as well as its the only thing that lingers with you throughout .It makes you sad on happy days and it makes you happy on some days. It gnaws your soul and hits you until you can't take it anymore .But at the end of the day its the feeling that a piece of the person you've lost always stays with you no matter what .And that feeling triumphs.

Living with a sense of purpose .Yes the loss is unacceptable, unbearable to move forward but after a few years it dawns on you that you still have a purpose in life .God has placed you here on earth for a specific reason and this pain has shaped you into a different person, one that views the world differently now and the people in it differently .It has made you into a kinder and more compassionate person .More tolerable ,more empathetic,more loving and definitely resilient than ever.

[everydaymusingsofj]

Mental Health Awareness

On the event of World Mental Health day today (October 10) I thought I'd put out my own journey on traversing through some of the tough phases and also highlight how important it is to to be aware and take care of our mental health and of our loved ones. It took me almost a decade to acknowledge the fact that I was having high functional anxiety since my college days. The definition of High functioning anxiety goes like this "Typically refers to someone who experiences anxiety while still managing daily life quite well. Generally, a person with high-functioning anxiety may appear put together and well- accomplished on the outside, yet experience worry, stress or have obsessive thoughts on the inside" I was definitely an overthinker and used to overanalyze situations ( I guess I am still ,but not as much as I used to be ) The first recognition was when I realized that people were able to take or understand and let go situations easily when compared to the way I dealt with them . And this was ranging from anything like falling out with your best friend, seeking external validation, peer pressure etc. As years passed I have definitely come a long way from living with anxiety to now coping with it everyday leading me to live a better life. Some of the important things that helped me overcome everyday anxiety were

Awareness of the self and acknowledging the fact that anxiety persists within.

Not seeking external validation, especially when things go wrong (maybe at a place of study/work/personal life) Learning to pick yourself up when things don't go your way.

Learning the art of letting go .This has been a gamechanger for me .Not holding onto the past liberates our minds in a great way to be able to focus on the now , thereby reducing anxiety about past events.

Reduce Mindless Social Media Usage. I had days and weeks of social media detox that helped me declutter my mind and also not compare my life to someone else's (You know what am talking about!)

Indulge in a new hobby .This year I leant a new language ,tried my hand at painting ,learnt investing,learnt to play a musical instrument and these have helped me enormously in keeping my mind calm and also provided a lot of satisfaction.

Journal - This is pure gold. I've ranted my feeling on my notes app than any human being on earth and honestly thought at the time it seemed pointless ,after a couple of months I realized when i re- read them I have come a long way.

Maintain boundaries-Learn to say 'NO.' This has been the hardest . Saying no to people who drain your energy ,who put you down constantly .Setting healthy boundaries to protect my mental health is something I'm learning everyday .Its a process.

Good quality sleep and eating clean - As we grow older ,this becomes so important and rewarding as well. Losing sleep over binging Netflix or random Instagram reels aren't going to help us positively in the long run . (Get that beauty sleep!)

Spending time with loved ones - This one is so important to make me feel better on any given day. Expressing how we feel is important and receiving the comfort/listening to others even for sometime can make their day. Checking with with loved ones is crucial.

Pray -Ive placed this last because this has been the most important aspect in overcoming anxiety/depression or any negative feeling.Learning to surrender and placing my trust in God and his plan relieves my mind to stop controlling everything and instead enjoy everyday as it comes and taking it one day at a time. Overcoming anxiety is definitely not an overnight thing. It takes time but it definitely gets better once you realize what works for you. I have come a long way and am at a place where I'm a lot more calm and unperturbed by things but not letting it affect me instantly.

[everydaymusingsofj]

The Art of Powerful Data Visualization

Being in the data science space more than 4+ years now the one field that is impactful and constantly evolving is the field of data visualization. Long gone are the days where excel charts were the only tool being used for insights,reports or key decision making.

The advent of Power BI and Tableau have brought tremendous changes and created ample opportunities for data visualization to be a standalone field in itself like Data Engineering and Data Science . But you may ask is such expertise required ,why can't anyone be able to create fancy dashboards and meaningful insights with the plethora of resources that's available and with minimal experience required to be able to create some basic bar and pie charts. Here is why I beg to differ. First to be a good data visualization professional the key is to understand the context which is the why ,what and whom .Why is the dashboard needed and what is the impact its going to drive ( eg Monthly Sales Report , Customer App Engagement report ) What are the KPI's (Key Performance Indicator) identified for each dashboard and lastly who are the consumers/users for every dashboard . Another key aspect is the data storytelling .Every chart/tile should always point to the bigger picture and enable users to either to take informed decisions based on factual data or based on actionable insights. We have so many other data viz tools like Superset,Metabase and custom dashboards using React that provide device compatibility apart from the existing features.

[everydaymusingsofj]

Forgiveness

There are so many people in life who might have offended us and caused a deep scar within that may fade with time or not until something triggers that particular memory again . I've learnt it the hard way that forgiveness is a way of life . To let it all go , the offence ,the person , the pain . Being a Christian ,this has been even harder to do since we are called to forgive one another just like God forgave us. But over time I learnt that unparalleled peace and calm , true forgiveness brings in our heart that we may never be able to attain otherwise by holding onto the unforgiveness. As cliché as it may sound , Life is incredibly short , it is much happier to let go of silly egos and brooding over something or someone that may have hurt us way before and enjoy each day as the blessing it truly is. Live and let go !

[everydaymusingsofj]

Mind declutter

Do we sometimes ever feel like there is just too much noise and chaos everywhere ,not just with respect to the outside world but also within the self . Real peace lies in decluttering of the mind from anxious thoughts ,future plans, regrets from the past ,wishful thinking and the constant need to be always occupied with something . Just letting be and taking each moment in as it is without any pressure is perhaps one of the hardest things to do in everyday life.

[everydaymusingsofj]

Music Magic

Its unbelievable how music can change my day from being boring,hectic,tired to being transformed into a happy,calm and fun day .Well today was one of those days ,Specially because of two aspects ,one listening to music and playing an instrument which honestly can light up my day so much . (Chord theory is proving to be so much fun to learn!!)