eurypterid57-blog

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Watch: Carl Sagan schooled B.o.B. on his flat Earth theory more than 30 years ago

Follow @the-future-now

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i keep getting fines for “excessive water consumption” it’s not my fault that the basement prison cells all need their own toilets and showers. and like the prisoners are not pulling their weight AT ALL. all they do is sleep and be scared of the rats all day instead of painting with the easels i provided so the fines are really putting a financial strain on the household. if i didn’t need them for their plasma i would have killed them all already because this is nottt as financially lucrative as i thought it would be

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Some guy in an avengers Tshirt I just met at a coffee shop: so who's your favorite superhero?

Me too exhausted to explain there's more than one Robin: Batman

Guy: oh! Did you watch the Joker movie? It was surprisingly good for a DC film haha

Me: yeah it was something

Guy: you know they really fucked up on Justice League, but I've got to say Wonder Woman was better than Captain Marvel. Like, we get it, "yay girl power." That's great but it was so over the top. It totally ostracized half of it's audience.

Me: wow really

Guy: yeah. You know, you seem pretty chill. Maybe we could hang out sometime and watch some decent superhero movies? You know, Marvel movies haha

Me: i never asked, who's your favorite hero?

Guy: Iron Man. Like Batman but richer and cooler haha

Me: you know, Batman's rule? No killing?

Guy: yeah?

Me: i have no such rule. Lindsey, I found another one. My usual, please

Lindsey, the barista: *hands me my sword*

Guy: wow that's a poor replica of the God Killer blade, it should have more- *beheaded*

Me: thank god that's over

Lindsey: yeah. Hey want to watch Birds of Prey with me sometime?

Me: oh? You mean like as... a date?

Her: well yeah... is that okay?

Me: of course it's okay! all this time, all these years, i never knew you felt that way

Her: i don't keep a replica of Wonder Woman's sword under the counter for just anyone

Me: i never thought about it that way

Her: *writes her number on the forehead of dead guy* text me ;)

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Scientific fraud is the most baffling thing ever to me like do they think they're just going to make a huge breakthrough and no one will notice that it's fake by trying to replicate their results

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first time I ever went to the animal shelter and picked out my own animal was surreal. we had so many animals growing up but we never picked out any of them. and sure that’s normal for cats. they just showed up and we adopted them. but it didn’t end there.

we had a ball python because my mom was on a walk with her friends, saw it on the ground (this was Ohio) said “woah! that’s not native!” and put it in her purse. we advertised but never found the owner so we kept the purse python.

we ended up with a corn snake during a hurricane because my mom went out to get one of the cats and the corn snake was so little it came blowing through the air like a branch and my mom reached out and grabbed it out of the air to save it.

actually the point of this post is lost because I typed this far and realized the universe was maybe just sending my mom snakes specifically.

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Ok, but what did God have to say on the topic?

God me and some friends are talking abt being dense af rn and i just remembered this one time i was shopping w my dad and i wanted to get rainbow shoelaces at the dr martins shop. And there was this punk girl, dyed hair face piercings rlly cute, behind the counter and like prince charming putting the shoe on cinderellas foot she offered to lace my gay shoelaces into my dr martins and i let her. “Wow what good customer service!”. And then in the car my DAD had to tell me that she was flirting with me a major L to gay people over the world

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@jumpingjacktrash

never forget your roots

fanfiction.net before they removed the NC-17 stories

going to fanfiction.net at all

going to adultfanfiction.net in the fallout of the great “purge”

figuring out that ain’t nobody actually monitoring NC-17 stories there anyway so just rate it “M”

“please R&R! concrit appreciated!”

warning: lemon

though it may be more on the limey side of lemon

“summary sux just read it”

replying to reviews in the author’s notes

author’s notes in which the characters talk to each other and the author

[eurypterid57-blog]

I've read a few stories there.

never forget your roots

fanfiction.net before they removed the NC-17 stories

going to fanfiction.net at all

going to adultfanfiction.net in the fallout of the great “purge”

figuring out that ain’t nobody actually monitoring NC-17 stories there anyway so just rate it “M”

“please R&R! concrit appreciated!”

warning: lemon

though it may be more on the limey side of lemon

“summary sux just read it”

replying to reviews in the author’s notes

author’s notes in which the characters talk to each other and the author

[eurypterid57-blog]

How do I worldbuild this?

A huge part of studying the occult is understanding the history of science. You have to understand why people thought what they thought, how they arrived at that conclusion, and how that understanding developed within institutions.

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“WHATS THIS? WHATS THIS?”

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But it does.

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lost in the moss

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here I am, trying to get people to care about a Senate race that is only 4 points apart at the moment but the national media refuses to act like it's competitive

look, I am under NO illusions about what Florida is. I am not here to tell you it's full of the best most well-meaning people who by-golly-goshdarn-shucks have the misfortune of living under Republicans, because that picture of the South is pretty rosy for reals. It's gotten more deeply Southern culturally in the last two decades especially. The Florida of my teen years when Lawton Chiles was governor feels like a very distant memory.

But look: Debbie Mucarsel-Powell is a GREAT candidate. You know how Tim Walz is being praised for representing a quintessential midwesterner? Mucarsel-Powell is a quintessential Floridian, in that she's an immigrant and a Latina and she's very smart and accomplished. That is the best of Florida that so rarely gets represented, or gets twisted in representation to ghouls like Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz whose families are Cuban conservative. Rick Scott is one of the most unpopular members of the Senate.

Ron Desantis has gone too far in this state, warping our education, our human rights, our very freedom of speech, and he's done NOTHING to fix runaway housing and home insurance costs in a state that is acutely aware of climate change.

Abortion is on the ballot. So is legal weed. I am by no means saying I think Harris will carry the state, but there's SO MUCH that is really important on the ballot for me beyond that AND including it. But it's one of those funky years where turnout for the good guys will probably be higher because of the ballot initiatives and there's a lot of angry moderates in this state pissed about what Desantis did to education. So. Please consider sharing and spreading the word that there's a really important and more to the point: COMPETITIVE senate race in Florida. But if we ignore it, neglect it, don't spread the buzz and don't donate, then Florida just becomes another self-fulfilling prophecy.

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“Neck lengths of birds + aggression: a study.”

By @inomnomcom

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I’m in Poland and they keep showing this pizza advert and it’s amazing.

It starts off with rival pizza makers who argue over who has the best pizza and are driving the customers away

Then there’s this crazy old lady who yells at them from a window to quit it (because where else do you yell business advice from?)

So they work together and do some obvious flirting via pizza montage

And the old lady is all like “just kiss already”

Then they create a pizza together, combine restaurants and live happily ever after with the crazy window lady