etiragram

[etiragram]

Thirty-seven-year-old bank employee Brian Terlaine is apparently spending his entire adult life avoiding any activity or decision that might give him the smallest bit of satisfaction until both of his parents have died.

Despite the fact that he is a grown man capable of forming relationships, seeking a job, or wearing any article of clothing he chooses, Terlaine has apparently opted to postpone any such choices until his entirely healthy parents Tom, 68, and Barb, 64, are no longer alive to second-guess or disapprove of them.

Full Story

[etiragram]

Made an egregiously stupid in hindsight mistake that wasted several hours of other people's time but it was a stereotypical woman mistake so maybe I can spin this as a transfem win

[etiragram]

never mind! this one is good

me out loud, on page 4 of tumblr drafts I'm clearing out: what are you talking about? oh, my god. shut up.

[etiragram]

me out loud, on page 4 of tumblr drafts I'm clearing out: what are you talking about? oh, my god. shut up.

[etiragram]

two bigender people awaiting a child, arguing over who gets to have the gender neutral parenting term

[etiragram]

ate solid food & went on a walk and i'm normal now

[etiragram]

I'm aware this is massively ungracious but

some time sago I posted art that I thought was pretty bad, because I obscurely felt that posting even bad art was good for me somehow (although now writing that out I find it hard to justify it. is it???)

and it's getting a bunch of circulation. I see the damned preview in my notes even though I'm not even the OP of the post (meaning it's getting linked somewhere, or people are coming to my reblog to get a minimal-commentary version). someone DMed me to tell me they'd buy a print of it if I ever made it available that way (I'm considering telling them they can just have it for free if they pay for shipping, since it was a real possibility it'd get trashed otherwise)

and I'm grumpy...

not in a "why doesn't my actually good art get attention" way (which I think would put this overall sentiment in such childish territory I wouldn't post at all about it; I used to crave attention for creative projects but a decade of posting numbed me) but in an "I'd rather to be unknown than known for something bad" way. I have decade+ old fic up on AO3 that I still get positive comments on & I know it would be a stupid idea to take it down, but in order to not take it down I have to carefully not look at it. when I see the image preview of this art in the notifications I feel a small ping of badness, every time

I think this is a personality trait that's fundamentally antithetical to success or progress, but I feel "I don’t like spinach, and I’m glad I don’t, because if I liked it I’d eat it, and I just hate it" about trying to change it

[etiragram]

Man, I don't even think "feeling my skills increase" is enough of a "thing in itself" that it would have occurred to me to list it! I have definitely felt it, and it feels great, but it seems like "the type of experience it is" is 'adjunct'.

Same goes for 1, 2, 3, 4, 7, and maybe 6. The actual immediate experience that 'feeling skill increase' or 'experiencing social bonds' is often adjunct to is some type of thinking? Making conversation, getting faster at some cognitive task...

Like, I think romantic love is like, 30-80% thinking (together). And that the % thinking is higher at the beginning, when the emotional peaks are the peakiest.

My top list looks like

Experiencing romantic love

Writing fiction (when successful)

Reading fiction

(Good) sex

Coding and painting (lumped together because subjectively very similar experiences, although the prima facie Thinkiness Quotient is different)

Posting online

Risk taking (another 'adjunct' experience; for me it's usually adjunct to running social events or public speaking)

High quality, medium-cognitively-challenging conversation with friends

Eating/Drinking

Logic puzzles

What % do you relate to the statement, "I enjoy thinking, and practically enjoy nothing but thinking – all the activities I find enjoyable are a type of thinking, and the thing that makes them enjoyable is the thinking itself."

[etiragram]

while the following particular post is sufficiently Drinking Haterade that I don't want to post it on its own, I feel good about posting it (1) under the demi-apophatic framing device of the above post, (2) to sideblr

three posts exiled to drafts in a row, that means it's time to log off

[etiragram]

I enabled replies from everyone for a few days, because I'd solicited fiction recs in one post and wanted to give it some time. since I was on a posting jag, I got replies on multiple other posts that I thought showed poor reading comprehension. when I got particularly pissy at one, I shut my laptop and mentally reviewed an anecdote of Schopenhauer being a huge bitch in the way the internet makes me want to be a huge bitch. when I was done vividly imagining it I felt like a soft physical glow & the anger was gone

it's worth reading some biographies of neurotic bad tempered philosophers just for this purpose imo. very soothing to transport yourself to a scene they made, so you don't have to

[etiragram]

i keep mentally autocorrecting "ffmpeg" into "ffmpreg" haieglahl;gi

[etiragram]

// annoying post! where I decide not to wade into discourse but waffle about how I almost did so. without telling you what it is

there's a position X held by a lot of people around me / on tumblr, which I disagree with (but not strongly), and i just ran across a version of X in the wild where the person stated it in a very reasonable-to-me way that is nonetheless seems kinda unpopular / saying the quiet part Y out loud. and now part of me wants to make a poll saying "assuming you agree with X, do you also agree with this related belief Y", but since Y is Unpopular Coded, this would make my notifications hell for a while if I wanted to get more than ~300 responses... oh well

[etiragram]

man, I'm missing whatever part of the brain recognizes family as a Thing. it's always perplexing to end up being colocated in a house with someone because they're related to me or my spouse. it's especially bad when I dislike them but even when I mildly like them (generally the max liking I am capable of achieving with people I did not deliberately choose to bring into my life), the inner vibe is "okay... but... why is this happening? I do this on purpose every year?..."

maybe indoor cats feel like this but all the time. "don't get me wrong. i'm reasonably content with life. the food is good. but why am I in this house with you & unable to leave."

[etiragram]

people born in 24 Are 2000 now

[etiragram]

been trending this way myself. even when I manage to intentionally have sex dreams, the dream seems to "want to" be about something else anyway (e.g. the cool amulet that's plot-relevant to the sex)

Giving up on trying to have sex dreams... from now on it's all about exploring the ruins of ancient underground civilizations

[etiragram]

two weeks ago, after a (twitter) poll respondent pissed me off, I ran a bitchy response including the following image by some friends. one of them opined that the bitchy to funny ratio was too high, so I refrained from posting. however, here it is, for your therapeutic use:

if you're here about the poll I just want you to know that y'all are just saying "nuance" because you don't want to admit you are movie talkers. pull your panties up and choose a percentage 🔫

[etiragram]

#making art well does make you a genius and doing it poorly is embarrassing

this is literally true