eternalender

[eternalender]

Idk bout you, bout most of the childred I've met were DEFINITELY able to eat a lot of fruit so it feels believable ngl

Mugshot of a 2-year-old Francois Bertillon, arrested for eating a basket of pears

Follow for more 1800s nostalgia

[eternalender]

Y'all ain't never gonna be as salty to your siblings as I am cause- for this Christmas, I shall be giving my sister a fucking rock. Wanna know what's on that rock? "Jolly" CAUSE THAT GIRL NEEDS TO BE JOLLY IF SHE DON'T WANT NO COAL!!

I've not a clue what she got me. Among the other presents I've been tasked to give people, a plant I got for my grandfather that I've been dutifully keeping alive since November (I can't keep anything alive most the time) and a toy car for my younger brother.

If you can't tell, this is a direct attack on my younger sister.

I may post an update if I survive. Christmas is in 2-3 days depending on what you count, so I'm hoping Apollo and Hermes will be as amused as I am.

[eternalender]

The kingdom of Incarni was rumoured to be over taken by a young dragon who was horrifyingly strong compared to the best of the knights, or even that an older dragon cursed the family to turn draconic, in reality, the young prince was half-dragon.

The king, shortly after his wife, the older dragon, and his younger unborn child were killed, kept his heir son hidden in a tower to protect him, the tower however, had a rune to keep him in draconic form whenever he was there. The king used this to lure his wife's killers to him, uncaring if his son got hurt in the cross fire.

You’re the half-dragon child of a king and a dragon mother who gave up everything to marry him. When you hit puberty, dragon features start to emerge, and now your father spends his days fending off knights determined to 'slay the dragon.

[eternalender]

"Father, why are they so... Persistent..?" The boy asked tentatively.

Ever since he was young his mother had been slayed by these horrific knights, shortly before his younger brother or sister had hatched, and they even broke the egg... Yet now that he was showing such signs of dragonness, they're seemingly certain that his mother cursed his father's son...

"They're mere fools, Christopher. Don't mind their mindless rage." His father's tone was almost authoritative, yet Christopher knew his father had done nothing to cease their attacks other than kill them. Making it appear as though a young dragon ended their lives...

"Father, am I a cursed being..." He spoke sadly, before getting cut off by the king

"Shush now, you're perfectly normal, son. Now head back to your perch. You know the rules, boy." It was true the rules were quite straightforward. He had to stay in the tower to stay safe from possible attacks. Yet there seemed to be a rune in the tower to keep him in dragon form while there... He was always unable to change back up there...

"Yes father..."

You’re the half-dragon child of a king and a dragon mother who gave up everything to marry him. When you hit puberty, dragon features start to emerge, and now your father spends his days fending off knights determined to 'slay the dragon.

[eternalender]

May I ask where gardeners are in the evolution line..?

Butler transitioned

[eternalender]

Facing the Struggle as Queer Transgender Refugees: We Need Your Help 🌈

Hi there,

I’m Phil, a transgender queer refugee, and I’m reaching out with an urgent plea. Life in the refugee camp is unimaginably harsh for our LGBTIQ community. Daily persecution is constantly hanging over our necks, and we’re battling diseases like malaria, tuberculosis, typhoid, HIV/AIDS, and cholera. Combined with extreme shortages of food, clean water, medicine, and safe shelter, every single day is a fight for survival.

Your support can make a life-saving difference. Any donation, no matter how small, can help provide essentials like food, clean water, and medical care for our community. If you’re in a position to give, please consider contributing to our GoFundMe:

➡️ https://gofund.me/4d80b32c

If donating isn’t possible, you can still make a huge impact by reblogging or sharing one of my pinned posts. Spreading the word helps amplify our voices, which have been silenced for far too long.

Thank you for your compassion, kindness, and for standing with us in this fight for survival. Your support, whether through donations or sharing our story, means the world to us.

With gratitude,

phil

^^^

[eternalender]

AGAIN. WHO IS MESSING WITH MY MILK DUDE??? IT DOESN'T EVEN TASTE SPICY IT JUST TASTES WRONG???? This is my only hydration till I get home!!!

Sat here drinking my school lunch chocolate milk, and why TF does this shit taste like someone dyed alcoholic eggnog brown and tried to label that shit as chocy milk. Fuck this. Lemme have my normal shit- this burns.

Or that's the spicy fries, but stfu, who fucked up the chocolate milk dude.

[eternalender]

Sat here drinking my school lunch chocolate milk, and why TF does this shit taste like someone dyed alcoholic eggnog brown and tried to label that shit as chocy milk. Fuck this. Lemme have my normal shit- this burns.

Or that's the spicy fries, but stfu, who fucked up the chocolate milk dude.

[eternalender]

Hello my friends 👋🏻

I am yousef from Gaza 🇵🇸🍉

Asking for help is not easy. I am asking for donation from each person.. I need your help if you can please donate to save my life and my family My donation link is in my bio. Every donation, even if it is small, will make a big difference in my life. ❤️🙏🏻

Help me and my family 🥰🇵🇸

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #251 )✅️

Go help them!!!

[eternalender]

"How."

"No."

"Why."

"Because."

"Won't."

"Shut it."

"You"

"Gods below..."

"Fucking."

"Language."

"Tell."

"No.!"

"MEEEEE!!!!"

"BECAUSE!!!"

"AEUGHSUGHH-!!!"

"You aren't dying."

"REAHHHSHSHH!!!!"

You are the child of Death. Everyone always assumes that you were adopted, but you are in fact Death's biological child, although they are unwilling to tell how exactly this happened.

[eternalender]

"What, is magic some... Stupid living creature..."

"No... Well, maybe. I don't think that's been asked before..."

"It was rhetorical. Obviously not, magic is more of a concept, right..?"

"Well, I suppose so, hm?"

"Whatever. What if I don't want magic..?"

"Last time someone refused magic the family's magic became so powerful they nearly exploded..!"

"Liar. There's no documents. I've read everything here already, so I'd know..!"

"So you know it's pointless to deny it..?"

"Perhaps. But not pointless to ignore it."

"You'll have a day where you need to use it eventually..."

"Not today."

Seven years later.

"MAGE! GET YOUR SPELLS UNDER CONTROL!!"

"SHUT IT DEREK. I'M WORKING ON IT- Please just act normal- Stupid fucking magic... Just work I'm begging you, we're going to die here..."

"SAI PLEASE- WE NEED HEALING HERE!!"

"I'M TRYING MAIA!!!"

"HURRY- I'M GONNA DI- KUgh-"

"KAO-!"

"SAI RU- KErK-"

"RUN YOU STUPID MAGE- RUN!! GRAAAAHHHH- KuK-! F-uck you... D-drago- *CRACK*"

"Magic cares about what something means, not what it literally is. So when we adopted you into this family, when you truly accepted us as your parents, you became part of it in the eyes of magic. Which is why you've begun to manifest some aspects of our bloodline."

[eternalender]

"We consume water to hydrate, and salt has a dehydrating effect, therefore it cancels out. We Technically can, just in small amounts because too much will make our bodies too confused to function and try to make us fucking die."

"Then what about capsaicin, or Caffeine, or even Menthol?!"

"Some people enjoy the burn Capsaicin gives, it's more of a joy thing, unlike Salt water which is just considered gross... Caffeine, only one of the things you mentioned I occasionally indulge in, actually gives us boosts of energy to do tasks, even if we do crash after, there's still energy going into what we were trying to.... Most of the time... Menthol I can't exactly tell you, I don't really participate in it... Ever... But from what I know it might seem nice at first, then people just can't stop... Some people are able to quit with help, but not often... Again more of a joy related thing."

"Why don't you participate in Menthol or Capsaicin, then, Medic Milo..?"

"Menthol might get me sick, and my lungs are already shitty, and Capsaicin just isn't my thing... Simple."

"If your certain... Could I possibly partake in any of them..?"

"No. Capsaicin would burn your receptors, Caffeine would send your brain into overdrive due to your species not being used to the weakest shit we currently have, never less the stronger kinds. And Menthol is considered a bad habit even if you are human and use it. Plus you are considered a small minor in your species so even if you could, it'd be recommended against due to certain laws even humans have."

"Aw... Have a good day Medic Milo!!"

“Let me get this straight about you Earthlings. You cannot drink water from the most abundant source on your planet because it is 3% salt, yet you can easily process various poisons like capsaicin, caffeine, and menthol, with no harm and even some benefits?” “The human body is weird, man.”

[eternalender]

I is spooked by bugs :'(

[eternalender]

I enjoy a lot of things.

I also read a lot of DND quotes and use likes to keep track of what I've read.

They probably are a large amount of it.

Haha funny dnd things.

•-•

[eternalender]

"Oh shit- I think the eggs are good dude-"

[eternalender]

All hail the Mushrooms, we shall dine on them me thinks

Honestly bizarre that tomatoes get all the flack for “not being a vegetable” because they're technically a fruit when:

A) There are a ton of fruits that get categorised as vegetables. Like this also applies to pumpkins, squashes and cucumbers.

B) The fucking mushrooms are standing there at the back of the crowd in this witch trial, trying to look inconspicuous because they somehow got into the vegetable club with no fucking controversy despite the fact that they're not even plants.

[eternalender]

"I am an entity of which is beyond your comprehension- I have to stay in a many eyed' blob form just to keep you sane!!"

"And?"

You, a normal human, try out a dating app you've never heard of and soon find out it's a dating app for supernatural entities. Every date you go on, your date is always surprised you're not repulsed by their non-human features. But your latest date just can't believe you're not joking…