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Fear and anxiety and sadness are not necessarily always undesirable or unhelpful states of mind; rather, they are often representative of the necessary pain of psychological growth. And to deny that pain is to deny our own potential. Just as one must suffer physical pain to build stronger bone and muscle, one must suffer emotional pain to develop greater emotional resilience, a stronger sense of self, increased compassion, and a generally happier life.
Our most radical changes in perspective often happen at the tail end of our worst moments. It’s only when we feel intense pain that we are willing to look at our values and question why they seem to be failing us. We need some sort of existential crisis to take an objective look at how we’ve been deriving meaning in our life, and then consider changing course.
Learn to sustain the pain that you’ve chosen. When you choose a new value, you are choosing to introduce a new form of pain into your life. Relish it, savour it. Welcome it with open arms. Then act despite it.

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Not only is certainty unattainable, but the pursuit of certainty leads to increased insecurity.
It’s in these moments of insecurity, of deep despair, that we become susceptible to insidious entitlement, believing that we deserve to get our way, to take what we want, and sometimes violently.
The more you try to be certain about something, the more uncertain and insecure you will feel. The more you embrace uncertainty and not knowing, the more comfortable you will feel in knowing what you don’t know.
Uncertainty removes our judgement of others; it preempts our unnecessary stereotyping and biases. It also relieves us of the judgement of ourselves.
The openness to being wrong must exist for any real change or growth to take place.
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I hope no one draws from this the conclusion that my views are shaped by nostalgia for an age that can not be recaptured.
Rather, my views about work are governed by nostalgia for an age that has not yet come into being.
- Harry Braverman
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Growth is an endlessly iterative process. When we learn something new, we don’t go from ‘wrong’ to ‘right’.
Rather, we go from wrong to slightly less wrong. And when we learn something additional, we go from slightly less wrong to slightly less wrong than that, and then to even less wrong than that, and so on. We are always in the process of approaching truth and perfection without actually ever reaching truth or perfection.
We shouldn’t seek to find the ultimate ‘right’ answer for ourselves, but rather, we should seek to chip away at the ways that we’re wrong today do that we can be a little less wrong tomorrow.
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One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful
Freud
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Lies - Yevgeny Yevtushenko
Forgive no error you recognise,
it will repeat itself, increase,
and afterwards our pupils
will not forgive in us what we forgave.
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when it all goes quiet behind my eyes
i see everything that made me
flying around, in invisible pieces.
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cut me down like a tree, like the lumber or weeds
drag me out of the sea and then teach me to breathe
give me forced health till i wish death on myself
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call it an act of easy mery
to tear the structure down
call it a ritual
call it whatever you will.
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everyday consensus is no counter power to the psychopaths of everyday rule
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seems like no one gets to choose what they can't live without
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young liars,
thankyou for taking my hands,
and burying them deep in the world's wet womb,
where no one can heed their commands.
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a large percentage of bright young men and women locate the impetus behind their career choice in the belief that they are fundamentally different from the common run of man,
unique, and in certain central ways,
superior, central, meaningful.
what else could explain the fact that they themselves have been at the exact center of all they've experienced for the whole 20 years of their conscious lives?
they can and will make a difference in their chosen field, simply by the fact of their unique and central presence to it.
That everyone is identical in their secret unspoken belief that way deep down they are different from everyone else.
That this isn't necessarily perverse.
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I once married a woman for her Money. Money was what she called her Pet Macaque. Pet Macaque was my nickname for her vagina. She Divorced Me Because of All the Nicknames I Had For Everything ended up being the name of the band I started after we broke up. Her friends refer to her time period with me as The Great Depression Era. The Great Depression was her nickname for my penis. I’m pretty sure she married me for my money.
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