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some important calvin and hobbes facts in case you haven't read the original comic strip in a long time or only absorbed stuff on it from memes and out of context bits on here:

Calvin's last name has never been given, and neither has any of his parent's names. This was actually why his uncle Max only showed up for a brief storyline; the creator of the comic, Bill Watterson, ultimately felt that while it was fine to have him as someone for his parents to talk to, it felt far too awkward to never have Max refer to them by name and he never made a return appearance.

The general tone of the comic is fairly light-hearted, with a big emphasis on goofy slapstick comedy contrasted by clever wordplay and often surprising adult-centered jokes that'll hit you like a slap. A big part of the comedy is, as Watterson put it (paraphrased) "It's really funny to me when people express deeply stupid ideas with really fancy terminology." One notable example you might have seen is that one bit where Calvin asks his mom for money to buy a Satan-worshiping rock album and his mom replies that there's nothing genuine about them and they're just putting on the attitude for shock value, and comisserates with Calvin as he deplores that mainstream nihilism can't be trusted. He concludes that childhood is disillusioning.

There is a LOT of criticism of the extreme materialism and selfish mentality of the late 80s, when the comic was initially written. This may go a long way to explain how its aged so well; much of what it criticizes resonates well with people today.

Bill Watterson views comic strips a legitimate form of artwork, and repeatedly fought to have more space to draw more beautiful and artistic backgrounds, which was a very hard fight and unpopular even with other comic strip artists. He eventually did win some compromises and a lot of Calvin And Hobbes' artwork shows it, with the use of space to indicate time as well as a sharp contrast between the often plain environments of mundane life contrasted by the wildly beautiful imagery of Calvin's imagination (which often sports realistic depictions in an art shift of sorts).

Hobbes is explicitly not an imaginary friend, by word of Watterson himself. We don't know WHAT he is exactly, and Hobbes is apparently unaware of the strange nature of his reality; people look at him and only see an ordinary stuffed tiger plushie, but he has a tangible effect on the world that would be physically impossible for Calvin to do on his own. He's apparently been around for a while, and was apparently around when Calvin was a young baby.

On that note; Hobbes has implicitly killed (notably treated as both a gag and also with the vibe of 'he's a tiger, duh') and while he doesn't do it again on-screen, he doesn't have any moral issues about it. Calvin claims that he's never had trouble bringing Hobbes to school because the last time he did, Hobbes killed and ate a bully named Tommy Chestnut and simply comments that it was gross and he needed a bath. Calvin's tried to repeat this again, but Hobbes was grossed out at the thought having to eat a kid raw and not being allowed to use an oven first, or complaining that children are too fattening.

Hobbes became gradually less human-like in body language and more like an actual cat in both body language and behavior; this was due to Watterson drawing more inspiration from his cat, who also inspired a lot of Hobbes' running gags, such as pouncing on Calvin when he got home. Several years into the syndication of the strip, Watterson's cat passed away, and he did a tribute to her with a comic strip of the two of them agreeing to try to dream together so they can keep playing when they have to sleep; Watterson's commentary (if I recall right), remarks on his cat: "We can see each other again in dreams."

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The wunki conversational conversationalists

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dang. transmisogyny really is engrained into our culture. i will say however this does give a cool new meaning to the phrase bad bitch.

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spiritual successor to this comic

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garfield caused a controversy a decade ago by publishing this on veterans day

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Seattle's goin to hell. Used to be you'd walk outside and a seagull would land on your head and gently guide you to your destination in return for a single fresh puget sound mussel. Now you walk outside and half a dozen tgirls kick your legs out from under you and jack off on your face, and the seagull just stands there and watches, getting off on the voyeurism of it all.

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i think if i was a rather small mouse with a large but simple meal of meat and cheese cubes. and my fingies were cute lil eating utensils that might actually fix me

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oh dang, it's gonna take them even longer to get home in that

[Image description a news screenshot reading "Physicists make tiny model of Star Trek's USS Voyager that's smaller than a human hair"]

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one of the funniest items I own is this one-inch extension cord

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“lol that’s against clown code! 😂” “omgggg that clown is gonna get so fired for violating clown code” do you think clowns are some monocultural society? do you think every clown has the same values and belongs to the same organization that reinforces singular performative norms?? that clown code is specific to one american clown organization that was established in the 80s. it’s not universal. the history of clowns is hundreds of years old and “thou shalt not smoke a cigar” or whatever has only ever been a creed a relatively tiny percentage have held to. i am gripping your shoulders now. do not assume you are privy to the internal workings of a subculture based on contextless snippets and Fun Facts. i am leaning in very close to you now. clowns deserve better. i am now pulling a long string of handkerchiefs out from behind your ear

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just woke myself up laughing from a dream

there was a new meme going around called “the recipe” and it went as follows:

“ingredients: one egg” followed by some nonsense about something to do with the egg, usually with some preponderance of the nature of man thrown in there. then at the end it would say “expected outcome:” and have a picture of a single banana with nothing done to it.

it was, in the dream, so popular, that there were entire mail routes being closed by how many bananas were being mailed to people. there were police statements made. I specifically remember the phrase “25-30 bananas”

i dont think this should necessarily catch on i just wanted to tell you guys about it

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my odd and unreasonable grievance with many video game wing cosmetics is to me it looks kind of awkward for a person to have wings that are at least partly extended all the time, indifferent to if they are standing, running, swimming. feels TO ME like a clumsy and unwieldy position they are held in constantly, especially attached to an action hero that needs to navigate around tight situations. i understand players tend to get wing cosmetics in games because they want to actually show off their character having big wings, so likely wouldn't find as appealing wings that are just folded in when they're not using them (my own vast preference), but please consider the appeal of things like the capelike look of moth wings when not splayed out.

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The three mental illnesses are

Terminal child syndrome lol sorry you'll be infantilized forever and never get any basic respect we have the right to not treat you like an adult and make life worse for you in the name of helping, or shun you completely :)

Just stop doing that you useless cunt go the fuck outside and stop being a burden to society get the fuck up and stop having this illness. Have this list of pop psychology bullshit and get your shit together. We can still romanticize your struggle if you're hot and manage it just well enough to not be a useless cunt

Irredeemable piece of shit disorder uh sorry but your vibe is off and you should go to jail for it I fucking hate you and you deserve nothing you vile piece of human garbage you need to be avoided at all costs everyone should cut you off immediately no one should have to put up with you you manipulative asshole

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Being reverse-Isekai'd via the reincarnation method would fucking suck.

You used to be a magic-wielding adventurer and now you have to go through high school. And you can't tell anybody about your past life or you'll be mocked at best and institutionalized at worst.

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going to die without bodies pressed together, groping each other kisses. doctor said i need a daily dose actually