essynthedragon-blog

[essynthedragon-blog]

From the looks of it, the blonde wasn’t doing too well. Concern and worry flooded through Essyn at Ridley’s words. Who exactly did she think Essyn was, by the baggy comment Essyn could guess a drug dealer of sorts. Essyn hadn’t expected things to get this bad for the girl on her own. Then again, what did she expect to happen when Ridley left the Underworld and a support system that she hadn’t fully trusted. “Sorry, but I don’t have anything that strong, hell I don’t even have liquor at this point.” To some extent, Essyn could understand wanting to lose oneself with the help of a substance if only for a moment. In a way shifting into dragon form had done that because it had made her less human and less drawn towards things like emotions. Having to deal with emotions constantly had taken a bit to get used to and even now she still did things like drink to ignore them. Whatever the blonde was using drugs to conceal or reach it had to be bad or at least unbearable for her to deal with. “I know you won’t believe me when I say this but your mother didn’t send me. She doesn’t even know where you are.” Of course, it would look like Jess had sent her after all Ridley had met Essyn through her mother. “I actually have been staying here lately instead of the underworld so I haven’t seen Jess in a while.” She hoped that maybe she could get it across that she wasn’t just a spy or sent here to drag her home. Essyn figured the best way to help Ridley at this point was to get the girl to trust that she wouldn’t just send for her mother. Essyn was well aware that she would get an earful from Jess when she found out Essyn had found Ridley and said nothing, but right now the girl’s well being was more important than her mother’s feelings. Confusion coursed over her at Ridley’s remark that she wasn’t real. Either the girl was really high or something else was going on. The realization came that this wasn’t something she could fix with a blade or fire it wasn’t as simple as just killing a person to solve it. No, she was going to have to figure out what was going on with Ridley and get the girl to trust Essyn of her own accord to even be able to help. “What are you trying to buy Ridley?” Her tone came out harsher then she intended it but she was a bit worried that eventually, this was going to lead to Ridley overdosing which was the last thing she wanted.

Ridley x Essyn starter

Making the decision to leave the underworld wasn’t an easy one. Despite the wall she’d attempted to put up there were a few that had managed to scrape their way in. Leaving them was difficult, but they were better off without her in their lives. Or at least that was the way Ridley liked to think about it so she didn’t have to process the fear that she had of someone leaving her. This way she was able to do it first. It had been a few years since she’d left and it was safe to say that she’d fallen into old habits back in the human world. Getting a job wasn’t enough to get the money for what she truly craved. Sleeping around for money and sketchy drug deals were her normal. She’d already died once from a drug overdose. That didn’t stop her from the euphoric high that she craved. It took a while for her to save up the cash. When she finally came into contact with oxy again it wasn’t even close to the high she’d worked so hard for. All the anxieties she repressed began to creep in. Having to acknowledge some of the feelings she’d suppressed wasn’t something she enjoyed. They’d been suppressed for a reason. Putting it down to being a bad batch the blonde continued to working for the drug. Bringing out the worst in herself in the process as she continued to crave the high that once consumed her. She never found it. Instead the drug started bringing on hallucinations. Of the old life she’d fallen back into, of the family she’d walked out on, of bad things happening at her hands. One night while she was high on the drug Ridley had stormed out of her small apartment to attempt to escape the voices that were louder than her own thoughts. Both of her hands were pressed hard on each side of her head like she was trying to make everything disappear. As if she hoped it hard enough it would actually work. “Shut up, shut up, shut up,” she muttered to herself as she ducked down one of the alleyways to get away from the scattered people on the pathways. Or what she thought were people. At this point she didn’t know what was real and what was her imagination. For all she knew she still could have been wrapped up safe and sound in her apartment. 

@essynthedragon​

[essynthedragon-blog]

Essyn had to admit she felt rather guilty for being late to her meeting with Jess considering how busy the woman constantly was. Jess always seemed to be busy or off with her family which didn’t bother her but still, she missed her friend. Back when they were in the asylum it seemed like they just had more time to spend doing well anything, but now it seemed harder to see both Jess and Ainsley. Admittedly she saw more of Ains due to their position training and such but both Jess and Ains spent most of their spare time with their kids and such. Gone were the days when they would just sit in a lounge room drinking for hours on end and not being too worried about politics and appearances. Essyn honestly couldn’t believe how Jess managed to deal with the level of politics before or really even now, considering Essyn had only done it for a short time and already wanted to murder several different lords.  Essyn walked into the parlor and was honestly glad to see the brunette seated by the fire. She looked forward to this even though part of it was just them talking about training and practice, she was happy to see her friend. “Hey, sorry I’m late,” she said as she took a seat in one of the chairs by the fire. “Lost track of time a little. Overall, training has been going well although a few of them have needed some amounts of extra practice to get on track with the rest of them.”

@queenjessalove

If Essyn was trying to act normal she was failing at it miserably. Training had been a bust considering she was now sitting with her head between her legs trying to will away nausea that had begun to plague her before she had even started training. She had figured she could just push through it, after all, she had managed to make it work with hangovers before. Essyn still hadn’t told both Jess and Ains about the pregnancy, the idea of telling them made it feel too real. Plus, she was probably the last person they would expect that from, considering she hadn’t even expected it. Expecting it or not it was happening despite her trying to ignore it. The sound of her phone alarm going off got her out of her thoughts as she picked it up to make the annoyance of the alarm disappear. Her gaze lingered on the time for a moment before she realized she was going to be late giving Jess an update about training and such. “Fuck” she muttered and stood up. Essyn almost immediately regretted standing up considering how light-headed it made her feel but she bit her lip and ignored it. She took a drink of her water before tossing it in her bag with her change of clothes from training. Before she left the room she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and noticed how much she looked like shit. She just kind of hoped it looked like a bad hangover to Jess considering she still had no idea what to tell the brunette. 

[essynthedragon-blog]

Things the past couple of weeks had been more or less chaotic. The usual for Essyn would have been training and drinking not feeling consistently nauseous that wasn’t due to a hangover. No, since she learned she was pregnant things had changed.  At least continuing to try and ignore the pregnancy wasn’t quite working for her. So she had taken a break from training and rather had spent time panicking instead. She was trying to figure out if a kid was something she actually wanted. Losing the people she cared about was something she was accustomed to, so the idea of having a kid scared her. It was one more thing that could be taken and used against her and she wasn’t sure if she could handle that. Heartbreak was something she had never dealt with well, so yes she was terrified of having this kid and growing attached to it to well have the chance to lose it. So, panicking was probably the right word for what was going through her head, so she had taken some time to think. It had been a while since Essyn had last been to the Underworld, longer since she had seen or heard anything from Ridley. Essyn knew that Jess had been worried about her leaving but from what Essyn had seen once Ridley had made up her mind to do something it was rather difficult to change it. So it was surprising to her to see the familiar blonde turn into an alleyway. Curiosity got the better of her and she turned into the alley to follow the Ridley. From what she could tell the girl looked far from okay. “Ridley?” Essyn said. She didn’t want to spook the girl or make her think that Jess sent her to check up on her. To be honest she respected Ridley’s decision to leave the Underworld and find herself, to a point. She didn’t want to see the girl end up getting hurt or worse.

Ridley x Essyn starter

Making the decision to leave the underworld wasn’t an easy one. Despite the wall she’d attempted to put up there were a few that had managed to scrape their way in. Leaving them was difficult, but they were better off without her in their lives. Or at least that was the way Ridley liked to think about it so she didn’t have to process the fear that she had of someone leaving her. This way she was able to do it first. It had been a few years since she’d left and it was safe to say that she’d fallen into old habits back in the human world. Getting a job wasn’t enough to get the money for what she truly craved. Sleeping around for money and sketchy drug deals were her normal. She’d already died once from a drug overdose. That didn’t stop her from the euphoric high that she craved. It took a while for her to save up the cash. When she finally came into contact with oxy again it wasn’t even close to the high she’d worked so hard for. All the anxieties she repressed began to creep in. Having to acknowledge some of the feelings she’d suppressed wasn’t something she enjoyed. They’d been suppressed for a reason. Putting it down to being a bad batch the blonde continued to working for the drug. Bringing out the worst in herself in the process as she continued to crave the high that once consumed her. She never found it. Instead the drug started bringing on hallucinations. Of the old life she’d fallen back into, of the family she’d walked out on, of bad things happening at her hands. One night while she was high on the drug Ridley had stormed out of her small apartment to attempt to escape the voices that were louder than her own thoughts. Both of her hands were pressed hard on each side of her head like she was trying to make everything disappear. As if she hoped it hard enough it would actually work. “Shut up, shut up, shut up,” she muttered to herself as she ducked down one of the alleyways to get away from the scattered people on the pathways. Or what she thought were people. At this point she didn’t know what was real and what was her imagination. For all she knew she still could have been wrapped up safe and sound in her apartment. 

@essynthedragon​

[essynthedragon-blog]

@queenjessalove

If Essyn was trying to act normal she was failing at it miserably. Training had been a bust considering she was now sitting with her head between her legs trying to will away nausea that had begun to plague her before she had even started training. She had figured she could just push through it, after all, she had managed to make it work with hangovers before. Essyn still hadn’t told both Jess and Ains about the pregnancy, the idea of telling them made it feel too real. Plus, she was probably the last person they would expect that from, considering she hadn’t even expected it. Expecting it or not it was happening despite her trying to ignore it. The sound of her phone alarm going off got her out of her thoughts as she picked it up to make the annoyance of the alarm disappear. Her gaze lingered on the time for a moment before she realized she was going to be late giving Jess an update about training and such. “Fuck” she muttered and stood up. Essyn almost immediately regretted standing up considering how light-headed it made her feel but she bit her lip and ignored it. She took a drink of her water before tossing it in her bag with her change of clothes from training. Before she left the room she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and noticed how much she looked like shit. She just kind of hoped it looked like a bad hangover to Jess considering she still had no idea what to tell the brunette. 

[essynthedragon-blog]

@bloodsuckingbarbie

In all honesty, Essyn had never expected to be faced with the problem she was now dealing with. She had never expected to accidentally get pregnant considering she slept with women and well objectively that up until that threesome. Shit, she didn’t even know the dude’s name that was there and wasn’t quite ready to try and find him at the club she had been at. To be fair she wasn’t even really ready to face this herself. Essyn hadn’t actually told anyone about the positive pregnancy test, she wasn’t sure what to say to her friends especially considering she used to be with one of them, Ainsley. She also wasn’t quite sure she wanted to actually keep it, although the human solution for getting rid of a child was rather crude. Essyn was finally in a situation where she was completely overwhelmed and unsure of what to do. Usually, she could come up with a few different things to do for just about any situation. Although, most of her situations tended to be more fighting oriented which was rather straightforward in comparison to this. No, this didn’t just affect her in the present but also in the future along with the life of a small living thing that she would be responsible for. Essyn was rather surprised when she spotted Isobel of all people. She had never really spoken to the blonde in the asylum or post the asylum. All she really knew of the girl was that she had been with someone named Caleb in the asylum and had gone on a killing spree of the guards, to be fair she totally approved of the level of badass there. In a spur of the moment decision she walked up to the blonde, “Hey, Isobel do you have a minute?” Essyn honestly needed to tell someone and well they had never really been friends so it seemed safer than telling Jess and Ains. Telling them would just make the whole thing more real than what she was ready for.

[essynthedragon-blog]

@theundeaddemonassassin The past couple of weeks had been rather out of the norm for Essyn or at least they felt out of the norm considering the fact her life was now altered by the fact she was pregnant. She still hadn’t really told anyone about it consider the fact of how unreal it still felt. Essyn never once considered she would accidentally get knocked up but apparently, there was such a thing as too much alcohol even for her. Essyn was trying to get back to some normalcy so she had called up Ainsley earlier in the day and planned to meet her and the kids at the park. She figured it would be a good distraction, plus she missed seeing the kids as much. There also may have been an ulterior motive with it too of trying to figure out what she should do about her pregnancy and gain some perspective about parenting from Ains. To be honest the thought of actually being in charge of a living being made her nervous she didn’t want to accidentally fuck it up. Plus, she was used to losing everything she loved and a part of her was scared she would lose this child to and it would leave her broken. Essyn pulled her car up to the lot at the park and got out walking over to where she said she would meet Ains.

[essynthedragon-blog]

⇋ Name: Essyn Amherst

⇋ Nicknames: Es, (reluctantly) pet dragon

⇋ Age: 20 (Real age: 87)

⇋ Birthday: July 20, 1932

⇋ Astral Sign: Cancer

⇋ Sexuality: Homosexual

⇋ Hair Color: Dark Brown

⇋ Eye Color: Green

⇋ Height: 5’5

⇋ Identifying Marks: Tattoo running down her back, an infinity tattoo on her lower neck and another tattoo on her upper right arm.

⇋ Unique Features: Generally carries a sword and other various blades.

⇋ Species: Dragon

⇋ Occupation: Trains and commands Queen Jessamine’s army in the Underworld

⇋ Parents: Alexandria Amherst, Bhaltair Amherst

⇋ Known Siblings: None currently known.

⇋ Children: Unborn (unnamed) child.

⇋ Other Relatives: N/A

⇋ Marital Status: Single

⇋ Romantic Partners: Mary Jacobs (deceased), Ashlynn Hart (ex-lover), Ainsley Carson (ex-lover)

⇋ Inhabitance:  Underworld (currently), Henderson Asylum (formerly), New South Wales, Australia (formerly).

⇋ Faceclaim: Alycia Debnam-Carey

⇀ Personality; Essyn can be quite stubborn and sarcastic. She tends to discount people unless she has managed to care about them and doesn’t tend to consider what they have to say in a situation at all. She can be quite dismissive of the opinions of others unless she somehow values the person giving the opinion. She tends to not be trusting of people and will tend to not trust them based on their word. A lifetime of being on the run from the witches could be the cause of the lack of trust within her. There are times that she can come off as cold a distant but if she cares about someone she will protect them with her life, never giving up or stopping until she is sure they are safe. She’s not always emotionally available, and often times is stoic, silent and rather distant, preferring to lean towards numbing her emotions than dealing with them.

⇀ Biography; Essyn was rather naive when she was younger, due to this she had grown to care for a girl named Mary. She had never thought for a moment that she couldn’t trust her so she told Mary about being a dragon which led to the girl telling someone else about Essyn’s secret. She was about fifty at the time and it turned out that Mary had been a part of a witch coven that specialized in studying supernatural species. The leader of the coven, Lena, was intrigued by the fact Essyn was a dragon and could resist the urge to study her which led to a trap being set to catch Essyn. They knew they didn’t have the power to get Essyn easily and without deaths of their witches so they had threatened to kill Mary, so Essyn had let herself to be captured in order to save the girl’s life. Needless to say, they had come up with ways to torture her and hold her captive through binding spells and controlling her shifts. Finally, after a decade of torture, Mary helped Essyn escape and in return, the coven killed Mary and delivered her head to where Essyn had been hiding. Due to the combination of tests, experiments, and spells used on her she can only shift into her dragon form when it comes to life or death or someone she cares for is in a life or death situation. She spent the next two decades training herself to be stronger physically where she learned different styles of fighting, her favorite was fighting with a one-handed sword. Essyn got herself off from trusting others so she couldn’t be betrayed again, however, this changed at Henderson Asylum. At the asylum, she managed to get close to Jessamine, the queen of the underworld, and the blonde-haired assassin Ainsley. It was the first time since Mary that she let herself trust people. Eventually, Essyn found herself falling in love with her best friend and for a while, they were happy together. They were even planning on getting married and for the first time in a long time, Essyn could see herself being happy with someone else in her life. However, the bliss didn’t last long and her past caught up to her in the form of the witch, Lena. The woman threatened Ainsley and Ainsley’s children and Essyn couldn’t take the risk of them being hurt or killed just so the witch could have a chance at studying Essyn again. So Essyn broke things off with Ainsley and found a way to ruin getting back together with her through the form of a threeway. Not quite her best moment but she didn’t want to be the cause of anyone else she loved dying and it seemed like the only way out that wasn’t her going back to Lena. 

[essynthedragon-blog]

Alcohol and Blondes

There was never once a moment in her life when Essyn thought she would be in this situation. Well, be in a drug store buying a pregnancy test that is. She had never doubted her sexuality or really even experimented with males she had just never found them to be all that attractive or alluring much less ever want to sleep with one. The desire had just never been there.

Blue light pulsed throughout the club with the beat of the music as Essyn walked through the mass of dancing people towards the bar. She honestly just wanted to have some fun and not think about the work that came of running Jessamine's army/training. Drunk sounded like a good state for bad but yet fun decisions. Essyn’s gaze lingered on a blonde at the bar for a moment a mischevious smile touching her lips as she walked to the open seat next to her.

Honestly, Essyn didn’t even know what kind to buy as she stood there staring at the different kinds of tests she couldn’t help but wonder if she was wrong about this whole thing. Maybe it was just some fluke and she was going to start her period soon. It’d happened before her period being late for weeks at a time but that was back when she could shift between her human and dragon form. That tended to through her hormones and general brain chemistry off in comparison to now being trapped in a body that appeared human. Outside of that, the last time she had been late she had spent the week overexerting herself in training and had forgotten to actually eat or really sleep. But, in all of those instances never once had she been in a threesome between then and her last period.

Malia, that was the name of the blonde next to her who Essyn hadn’t been able to take her eyes off of. Not even to notice the muttered words the bartender spoke when handing her yet another shot of vodka. Taking it slow on alcohol had never been Essyn’s forte most of the time she went until blackout drunk. Half the time she was drinking to forget the past and drown the thoughts in her head. Tonight was different she was drinking just to have fun, she wasn’t even aiming for blackout drunk. She downed the shot and went back to her conversation with the blonde.

Finally, she just grabbed three different kinds and walked to the counter. She could see the concern in the cashier’s eyes as she rang up the pregnancy tests. Essyn often forgot that she had stopped aging at a point to where she looked underage to humans. “Oh, honey, what have you gotten yourself into,” the older woman remarked, “That will be $12.50.” Essyn suppressed an eye roll, “Hold on a minute” she said as she turned and went to one of the coolers and out of sheer annoyance for being viewed as a child grabbed a 6 pack of the first kind of beer her eyes landed on. She set it down on the counter along with her ID and $20. At least the woman wouldn’t think of her as some poor helpless teenager considering her ID said she was 21. The amusing part was that the ID was fake considering her real age would concern humans, because what 87 year old looked like they should be in high school?

Fingers ran through Essyn’s hair as Malia’s lips were on her own. The kisses had started out rather innocent and had turned into something more hungry and primal. After another moment of this Malia pulled away and asked if she wanted to take this upstairs to her friend's loft above the club. Essyn didn’t even think about it before nodding and standing. Her vision dimmed for a moment as she became suddenly lightheaded from the movement. She was feeling the booze more than she had been a moment before.

Spite and annoyance had always been a powerful motivator for Essyn and the look she got from the cashier was enough to lighten her mood a little. Humans were always interesting in how they reacted. Toying with their emotions had enjoyed her even back when she could shift their unpredictability amused and excited her. She grabbed her things and walked out of the small drug store to her car trying to ignore worrying about the contents of the bag and believing this wasn’t happening for a moment longer.

Maybe it was the booze or her desire for the blonde that had led her to not be bothered by the presence of the male in the room. Her gaze lingered on his half-naked body as he walked over to Malia and pulled her into a kiss. A slight feeling of jealousy went through her but was quickly replaced with amused interest and the lightheaded buzz she had been feeling since she had stood up in the club. Essyn didn’t even really mind when his attention turned to her and his lips pressed against her own, although her mind turned toward her desire for the blonde over the male. She could careless he was there and instead turned her attention to Malia again after the kiss with him was over. Essyn pulled her to her and roughly pressed her lips against the blondes as her fingers fumbled with the zipper on the back of Malia’s dress barely noticing the male’s hands on her own body.

It wasn’t until she was back at her place that she allowed her thoughts to drift to that night in the club with Malia and her friend. To be honest she was pretty sure it was the first time a male had ever gotten to more than first base with her. Although, he hadn’t been on her mind at all which was the reason she was in this mess. Essyn had never thought to go on birth control had never really thought she would get herself into a situation where she would need it. Resiting her urge to just ask Jessamine how pregnancy tests worked she grabbed one of the boxes and started reading the back of it.

The morning after had never been her favorite part of a one stand, but this morning was the worst. Essyn had woken up next to two sleeping figures with her head pounding. She looked from the blonde, Malia, to the male to her left a twinge of regret coursing through her. What had she done that night, well outside of the obvious and getting way too drunk. As quietly as she could she got out of the bed and retrieved her clothes putting them on and without a glance back she opened the door and went down the stairs leaving the loft and the club behind.

There was a metallic taste in her mouth and it took her a moment to realize it was blood. She had been chewing on her lip hard enough to draw blood out of anxiety as she watched the seconds tick by on her phone. Waiting was definitely the worse part of this whole thing, why did it seem to take so long for this stupid test to work. Surely, humans were smart enough to come up with something more instant then this considering they enjoy everything being quick. Finally, the alarm on her phone went off and she picked up the test that had been resting on the bathroom sink. Her heart sank as she stared at the two lines on the test that only confirmed her suspicions. Essyn had no idea what to do from here or even how to feel about being pregnant all she knew was that the six-pack sitting in her kitchen was probably a bad idea but damn did it sound so tempting.

[essynthedragon-blog]

A Fear Beyond Words

Ever since losing Mary, Essyn hadn’t let herself fully fall for anyone at least until now. She had lowered her defenses when it came to Ashlynn, she had given the banshee the power to break her heart. Love wasn’t something she had let herself have because she was scared she would be hurt again. The kind of hurt that causes a person to lose bits of themselves to feel like they can never go back to who they once were. One of the worse days of her life was when she opened the box with Mary’s head in it. She knew they had done it because the woman had helped her escape. It had broken her in a way she never thought she could break it was a kind of pain that was worse than anything she had felt which was saying a lot due to the torture she had endured.

Essyn woke that night from yet another nightmare although this time a small black kitten she had named toothless, a gift from Jess on her birthday, greeted her with a look of concern as she shot up out of bed. It was pointless in trying to go back to sleep now her heart was still raising from the nightmare she had. Although, it was more of a memory mixed with a nightmare. She looked over to the other bed in the room, her roommate was still awake which for that she was relieved. The witch tended to look at her concerned whenever Essyn woke from a nightmare.

“I need a drink” she muttered as she untangled herself from her blankets and got out of the bed. She walked to the door and stopped when she noticed something on the floor in front of it. An envelope was sitting there as though someone had slid it under the door. Her name was on the front which was odd because the only mail she ever got was usually someone she bought and had shipped into the asylum never a letter.

She stepped out into the hall as to not wake Seph with the light. After quietly shutting the door she opened the envelope. The first thing she pulled out was photos, they were photographs of her and Ashlynn. Her breath got in her throat as she pulled out a piece of paper with writing.

“To my darling dragon,

I know you thought you were safe here and that you could just get away with killing my witches. It was wishful thinking, to be honest, I am impressed you allowed yourself to be weak yet again. I would have thought you learned your lesson last time about pretty blondes. Maybe I have to kill another so that you will get the message that you will always be my plaything. It hurt that you left I've grown quite bored without being able to experiment on you and see what would make you break. Anyways back to the point, I have to punish you somehow for killing my witches so I am going to hurt you the one way I know that works by hurting those you care about. If it isn’t the blonde it might be one of those friends of yours that you seem to care about. Maybe I will even hunt down those monster parents of yours it would be interesting to see if the mother is like her daughter. I guess we’ll see but I have ways of getting to you in there and I will take care of that weakness of yours again. I look forward to the day I'll see you again when you get out of that asylum.

Lena”

Essyn let the letter drop to the floor as her hand shook. She couldn’t breathe or at least she was getting a tightening feeling in her chest. If there was one thing she would admit she feared it was that woman. The torture she could handle pain was what she was used to but she knew that Lena would go through with her threat to hurt anyone she was close to.

She wouldn’t let anyone else get hurt because of her she wasn’t about to let them die because of her. Essyn closed her eyes and tried to calm her racing heart and took deep slow breaths. She then bent down and picked up the letter and the photographs. Out of everyone she knew she knew Jess and Ainsley could take care of themselves they were both as lethal as she was. It was Ashlynn she knew she had to protect. Ashlynn was the one she knew she would have to betray to keep safe.

The walls Essyn had lowered would need to go back up and she would have to put aside her own happiness in order to save her. She would rather have Ashlynn safe than be selfish and be with her. It was in the moment she made up her mind to what she would have to do even if it did break her heart to even think it.

Essyn walked to one of the asylum kitchens the letter in her pocket she poured herself a drink and pulled it out. She spent hours reading it over and looking at the photos trying to figure out who the woman could have on her side in the asylum. Trying to figure out who could be a threat and who she could trust. Only a few hours after dawn Essyn downed the last of the contents of the bottle of vodka she had been drinking. She then walked to the blonde’s room and knocked on the door like she had done a million times before. This time it was harder to do it because she knew what she was about to do. She knew that she was about to ruin the one thing that had made her happy over the past few months in the asylum. The usual smile Essyn had for Ashlynn was gone when she answered the door. A part of her had hoped that no one would answer and that she could back out of this but now she couldn’t.

“Can we talk?” Essyn asked her voice was cold and impersonal.

“Of course, what’s wrong? Did you have another nightmare you look like you haven’t slept...” concern was evident in Ashlynn’s voice as she spoke.

Essyn remained silent for a moment and bit her lip before taking a deep breath. “I have to confess something to you, I umm… well, I have feelings for Jessamine so it is unfair to you to continue this thing we have.” Essyn hated the taste lying left in her mouth as she did it but she had no choice. “We need to break up, I'm sorry but I can’t do this be with you when I have these feelings for someone else.”

The shocked look on Ashlynn’s face said it all, “This can’t be true…”

“It is true it has been for a while now… I'm sorry” Essyn said trying to make it sound as believable as she could.

“How long,” the blonde said her face had gone blank and her tone was harsh.

“I liked her before we got together… I thought I could move past it but I couldn’t.”

“So everything all we were was a lie. It was meaningless to you. No, you just took my feelings and decided to play with them didn’t you. I bet you thought this was all game to see how long it would take for the stupid human to fall for you wasn’t it. All of this was just a cruel joke!” The blonde stepped forward and slapped Essyn across the face before turning her back to her and going back into the room.

Essyn had stood there keeping her face emotionless despite the fact she was breaking. She wanted to open the door and tell Ashlynn that it was all a lie and that she just wanted to keep her safe, but she couldn’t do that now. It hurt her that Ashlynn thought Essyn had just been toying with her but maybe it was for the best that way. If this kept her safe Essyn would do it again. She would do anything to keep the blonde safe even break her own heart and the blonde to do it. As long as it meant that she would have a chance to be happy and have a long life that didn’t involve being killed or tortured because of her. Essyn could live with that she could live with just knowing she had kept her safe.

[essynthedragon-blog]

Dreams

Sleep had never come easily for Essyn since the decade she spent with the witches even now she still hated sleeping. More often than not she would drink herself into slumber, usually when her friends or Ashlynn wouldn’t notice. It helped with dreams when she did that more often than not when she drank herself to sleep she would dream which she honestly preferred. Dreams were something she couldn’t control she could never stop her mind from going back to the past which had led to a lot of restless sleep.

There were times at night when she had even woken her roommate. The first time that had to happen Persephone seemed concerned but of course, Essyn snapped at her and stormed out of the room. Since then if Essyn woke the woman she would remain silent and leave Essyn to herself. However, that still didn’t stop the concern Essyn noticed on the woman’s face. One thing Essyn loved was the time she spent with Ashlynn even if most of the time they would watch movies and eat junk food or even just spend half the night talking. The blonde had become Essyn’s home in a way she wasn’t happier anywhere else. Sure she had fun with Jess and Ainsley but that always felt different than her time with Ashlynn. The blonde always had a way of getting her to smile even if she was in a foul mood. “Alright I brought popcorn and Wonder Woman,” Essyn said as she walked into the room Ashlynn shared with Lucy. “Isn’t that still in theaters how did you get a copy of it?” Ashlynn said as she took the bowl of popcorn from Essyn.

“I have my ways. Plus a few people owed me some favors” she said with a shrug. Honestly, it wasn’t hard for her to get a hold of things outside of the asylum several people owed her for kills she had done for them when she had gone through her killing for hire phase. “Anyways, I was looking forward to watching it and it’s not like we can just go to a theater so I brought the theater to us.” Essyn took the blonde's hand and led her down the hall to one of the empty rooms that had once been used for the staff to live in. She had set up a projector and had it turned on to project on the white wall. Along with that, she had a giant bean bag chair along with an array of snacks and drinks laid out.

“I kind of figured we could use an escape from everything and everyone,” she said and glanced over at Ashlynn.

The blonde was smiling, Essyn would never get old of seeing that smile she honestly thought it could light up a room. It did tend to make her heart skip a bit. It didn’t take long for the two to start the movie and end up curled up under a blanket on the giant bean bag chair. At some point during the movie, Essyn fell asleep her head resting in Ashlynn’s lap.

It didn’t take long for her to end up in a nightmare of her own memories. She opened her eyes to see the dim light of the basement she had called her prison for years. The first thing she noticed was how cold and wet she was, they had tried to drown her. It had resulted in her just passing out it wouldn’t kill her. She looked around the room to see a familiar figure with blonde hair and she had expected it to be Mary. As her eyes focused on the figure her breath caught in her throat as she saw it was Ashlynn. “I thought we got this through your head the last time about having these little toys of yours Essyn, in the end you know they will just be used against you” the voice belonged to the redheaded witch. That woman terrified Essyn no matter how much she tried to be strong she was scared out of her mind. This isn’t real she thought. Then the witch grabbed ahold of Ashlynn’s wrist and bent it at an impossible angle and a scream that followed broke her heart. “Don’t touch her I will give you whatever you want just don’t hurt her” the words were laced with desperation she couldn’t stand to lose Ashlynn.

“Essyn,” a familiar voice said.

Essyn bolted upright her breathing was labored as she took in her surroundings and her gaze fixed on Ashlynn. “Essyn, it’s alright you're safe,” she said softly. “I… I thought… No, it doesn’t matter” she said looking away. Essyn hadn’t gone into detail with Ashlynn about what had happened to her she didn’t want the blonde to have to deal with that so instead she had just summed it up as briefly as she could. It was better this was she had convinced herself of that.

Ashlynn brought her hand to Essyn’s cheek and pressed against it lightly forcing Essyn to look at her. “It does matter… I know you don’t think so but you need to let someone in you need to talk about this.”

Essyn had already been having difficulty keeping her composure but that had ended any control she had. She bit her lip and breathed deeply. “I was back there… I thought it would just be Mary I can handle that now but it wasn’t Mary they had.” Essyn’s voice cracked as she spoke as she tried to keep it steady. 

“They had you… I can handle torture, unbearable pain, even losing Mary but I don’t think I could stand losing you. I love you so much Ash that it would break me if anything happened to you.”

Ashlynn gently wiped away a tear that had rolled down Essyn’s cheek, “You haven’t lost me. Nothing is going to happen to me I swear.” The blonde gently pulled Essyn into her arms. “It was just a nightmare. We are both safe.”

Essyn didn’t say a word but she melted into Ashlynn’s arms. Her composure had completely fallen and she let herself cry for the first time in ages.

[essynthedragon-blog]

A Pain Worse Than Death 

Pain, excruciating pain was all she could feel. It was electricity this time focused to shock her. They had wanted to see how much she could take before passing out. At this point, it would have killed a human or at least that was what she assumed from their facial expressions. Essyn wasn’t about to give them the satisfaction of her passing out or even just screaming from the pain. Instead, she bit down on her lip hard enough that soon she could taste the metallic flavor of blood in her mouth.

“How much more do you think she can take?” One of the women said. Then the redhead that she had met when she was first captured walked into the room. “Hmm, she hasn’t passed out yet. Turn it up I want to hear her scream” the woman said a smirk forming on her lips. The woman, Lena, enjoyed watching Essyn being tormented. It was noticeable from her look in her eyes. It had become a twisted battle of wills between the two of them. Essyn would have killed her by now, anyone of them, but every time she even made a move to fight they brought Mary in.

“You would just love that wouldn’t you, is this what you get off to? Maybe, I should scream and see if it brings you just as much pleasure as watching this does” her voice cracked as she spoke from lack of use. Essyn must have hit a chord because the expression on Lena’s face grew to anger and she lashed out her hand and struck Essyn before reaching for the knob on the control and turned it to the max.

The current coursed through her body and it took everything she had to not scream, instead, a strangled groan escaped her lips. She didn’t think she had felt anything worse than this, but then again, they would come up with a new form of hell tomorrow. She writhed in the chair she was bound in trying to do anything to get the pain to stop to get free. They were smart though and made sure that her wrists were bound with a leather-like thing that was dragon skin and impervious to her fire she wouldn’t have been able to burn through them even if she tried. Finally, the pain lessened as the electricity was switched off.

“Hmm we aren’t getting the right results,” Lena said and nodded to the woman standing at the door. Then the door opened and they brought her in, Mary. “Now, I didn’t want it to come to this but it seems there is only one thing that really gets to you.”

A lump formed in her throat as they unbound her from the chair and rebound her wrists together. She knew what was going to happen next and it was her fault for pissing Lena off. She shouldn’t have said any of it and if she could go back then she would. One of the women grabbed Essyn by the arm and roughly pulled her up. She could barely stand her body was involuntarily shaking and her limps felt week. It was partially due to knowing what was going to happen and due to the electricity that had coursed through her body. Essyn was half dragged half supported to a spot facing where she had been sitting only a moment before.

“Please don’t do this. She didn’t do anything” her voice was strangled as emotion got the better of her. However, her words fell on deaf ears for the most part. A few of the witches looked at Mary with pity and guilt they didn’t like torturing one of their own, but none of them would dare to go against Lena so they were stuck watching. The blonde didn’t look at Essyn while they forced her into the chair and bound her in place.

It was Essyn’s fault, all of this was. If she hadn’t gone and fallen in love with Mary she wouldn’t have put her in danger and they wouldn’t be in the mess they were in now. “I am so sorry Mary,” she said her voice soft and full of regret and for a quick moment, the blonde looked at her with a sad expression.

Before Mary could say a word the knob on the control board was set and a strangled scream came from the blonde. Essyn felt as though she were breaking she couldn’t do anything to stop this. She was completely helpless to prevent Mary from being in pain. She fell to her knees her head down, “Please stop this, please” she begged. Lena let out a laugh then told them to turn it up.

The sound Essyn heard coming from Mary was inhuman and a sound Essyn never wanted to hear again. That was when Essyn finally screamed she screamed for them to stop to hurt her instead. She begged to be the one strapped to the chair instead of Mary, after all, she was the one they wanted to hurt. This was worse than any form of torture they could come up with. Finally, they stopped and Mary slumped in the chair unconscious and barely breathing.

Lena knelt in front of Essyn and put her hand under Essyn’s chin and lifted it so she was looking directly at her. Tears were glistening in Essyn’s eyes. The woman grinned the satisfaction on her face was evident this was the response she had wanted. “You are mine to do with what I please, and so is she. Mark my words I will break you even if it means I have to almost kill her a hundred times. You were right, I do enjoy hearing you scream.”

[essynthedragon-blog]

Ai Hod Yu in “I Love You”

The smell of cinnamon, her blonde loose curls, the curve of her lips when she smiled, the laugh that rang of only beauty, and her beautiful blue eyes were only a fading memory in her mind as she groggily startled awake. Essyn slowly sat up her head was pounding and her entire body ached. The light brown-haired woman tried to move her arms to discover their limited range of movement as they were cuffed and chained. A sickening feeling entered her gut as she discovered the material used to cuff her hands were dragon bones with runes etched into them, she had heard of creations used to keep dragons from shifting and to her knowledge they had to be made of a dragon to work. It disgusted her to see the dragon remains treated in such a disrespectful way, the dragon this was made of must of had it’s resting place disturbed just so they could experiment with it.

It had taken Essyn a moment to remember who they were, witches. The memory from the night before flooded into her mind. Essyn could remember being so happy, she had told Mary the day before what she was and the blonde woman didn’t seem to mind, and was rather accepting of her. They had arranged to meet up in the place they had first met, Essyn had planned a rather romantically cheesy evening this was the first time she was so determined to make a relationship work with anyone. It had taken her a while to admit that she was completely in love with the blonde enough so that she had considered giving up what had made her a dragon to blend in with the human world.

Essyn could remember waiting outside a small grove of trees at the edge of an outdoor stage. The girl was startled from her thoughts as she heard footfalls coming towards her and she could see a group of women approaching her. Old habits were hard to break as her stance stiffened and she watched them wearily. There were five of them standing at least and a figure slumped in between two of the woman. Essyn couldn’t see the slumped woman’s face.

“You must be the dragon” taunted the tall brunette woman who appeared to be the leader of the group.

Essyn tensed as a shiver ran down her spine, few people knew of her secret and only one of them was human. Doubt came over her that the woman who she had trusted, who she had given her heart too had betrayed her. “Who is asking?” she asked coldly as her eyes narrowed.

“We are the coven of witches that run this area, but that is not important at least not of importance to you. You, dragon, will come with us without putting up a fight.” The same woman as before said.

“And what makes you think I will do that? Do you really think you can control a dragon” Essyn jeered, a smirk on her lips.

“We have something you love” The woman responded rather calmly.

Panic spread through Essyn like wildfire as the woman spoke, but she kept her face emotionless and cold the amusement from before was gone. “Now what makes you think I would stoop so low as to love anything but death and destruction?” her voice had become a low growl as she spoke.

The tall brunette didn’t respond to Essyn and instead, she motioned to the two women holding the slumped figure behind her to move forward. Essyn’s gaze focused on the slumped figure as a sinking feeling formed in the pit of her stomach, this was the first time her full attention was turned to the slumped woman.

The woman’s blonde hair was tangled and covered with dirt. Essyn watched as one of the two woman forced the woman’s head back as the other muttered what was most likely an enchantment. The blonde woman’s eyes flickered open as a groaning sound escaped the woman’s lips. Panic gripped her worse than it had before as she recognized the blonde woman with her piercing blue eyes that she had gotten lost in so many times before. “Release her!” Essyn growled as rage gripped her.

“No you don’t, if you hurt us we will hurt her and from your response, you care for her,” the tall brunette said as malice flashed across her face.

Essyn watched powerless as the woman flicked her hand and Mary started to cough and was gasping for air. “Now dragon if you don’t agree to come with us you will watch as we bring her close to death over and over until finally, you comply. If you don’t agree to come with us and try to fight us then we will not hesitate to kill her.”

Essyn’s gaze fell back on the blonde woman who had fallen to the ground still gasping for air, she had assumed the witch was using magic to suffocate her. “Stop, let her go” she cried out the anguish in her voice was evident. The tall brunette let her hand fall and the spell stopped, Essyn watched as the blonde began to cough but was able to breathe again.

“Don’t do it,” the blonde said in a rasping voice as Essyn looked into her piercing eyes.

Upon looking back at the tall brunette and the look she held in her eyes, Essyn knew that if she didn’t go along with this whole thing Mary would die. Glancing over at Mary she could tell that if the blonde died a part of her would die with the blonde. “I will go with you just… don’t kill her,” Essyn said finally as she noticed the tall brunette growing impatient.“Who would have figured the dragon has a heart” the tall brunette sneered a smirk on her face.

Essyn glared and moved forward seeing the witches all tense and prepare to defend themselves Essyn dropped to her knees in front of the blonde. “Just let me die, once they have you, they will never let you go,” Mary said tears were brimming in her blue eyes.“Ai hod yu in, I love you,” Essyn said before pressing her lips to the blonde’s, knowing this very well could be the last chance she could have to tell the blonde how she felt.

A voice brought Essyn out of her thoughts and back to reality and she looked over to see the blonde chained across the room. Essyn struggled to move closer to the blonde despite the fact it was futile. “Essyn, thank god you are awake. I was scared they had killed you,” Mary said in a soft voice.

“No worries I am still alive it takes more than a couple witches to kill me,” Essyn remarked chuckling.

After a moment of silence, the blonde spoke again except this time her voice was shaky, as though she were struggling to get the words out; “I didn’t mean to tell them about you being a dragon. They saw me with you and they wanted to know everything… I couldn’t stop them there are too many of them they used a spell to make me tell them that you are a dragon” the blonde fell silent for a moment. “I never meant to betray you, and now because of me they won’t let you go.”

It took a moment for Essyn to process what the blonde had said, and the fact that it was Mary who gave up her secret. Despite knowing she should be angry at the girl or at least angry that she was the reason Essyn was chained to a wall god knows where, but she couldn’t find it in her to be angry. All she felt was an urge to protect Mary from anything that the witches might attempt to do to get her to comply. “What do you mean they won’t let me go?” Essyn asked focusing on that instead of the betrayal.

“I was a member of the coven… they like to capture other supernaturals and experiment on them to try and figure out how they work or figure out how they can use them to their benefit. You are the first dragon they have been able to get their hands on which makes you their most prized possession” the blonde explained.

Of course, she would be prized most dragons wouldn’t deem to allow themselves to be captured, most would fight back and die trying rather than be held captive. The only reason she didn’t fight was that she had gone and fallen in love which was something her species couldn’t afford to do, due to things exactly like this.

“Oh, lovely! You know I just love being held captive this is just grand” Essyn remarked in a sarcastic tone.