esmeadoptme

[esmeadoptme]

[esmeadoptme]

I'm sorry, but if Laurent's fine ass just waltzed up into my dying meadow while I was in mid breakdown because my shitty ex bf gave me abandonment issues and depression, I would simply ask him to turn me so I could hunt Edward down, rip his gaslighting lil arms off, and beat him over the head with them. And then hook up with his sister.

RIP to Bella just accepting her near-death like that but I am very different.

[esmeadoptme]

there’s a pastability...

[esmeadoptme]

people in 2008: this is just a phase, no one cares about twilight

people in 2020:

[esmeadoptme]

Pretty gay

what did you expect

[esmeadoptme]

not seeing esme practice fight in eclipse is a crime against me

[esmeadoptme]

Bella: “Who’s the Volturi?”

Carlisle:

[esmeadoptme]

i knew for a fact i could never be one of bella’s friends when they all just started chilling at lunch with edward after new moon like nothing ever happened. bella would absolutely kick me out of the group as soon as edward told her that every time she turns her head i stare at him like this

[esmeadoptme]

Fully endorse the idea that when the kids get into shenanigans, Carlisle makes them spend time in the Time-Out Coffin.

Jasper: *tries eating somebody*

Carlisle: Time for the naughty-box, m’boy!

[esmeadoptme]

Jasper showing up to the after party / family meeting following Bella’s birthday in New Moon:

[esmeadoptme]

that midnight sun feel

[esmeadoptme]

everyone talking about how abandoned fanfics from years ago are being updated during quarantine and now FUCKING. Stephanie Meyer is releasing a new twilight book

[esmeadoptme]

2020 is so fucking surreal like it started off with all of australia burning & a potential 3rd world war, then a worldwide pandemic is forcing everyone to stay home and now there’s another twilight book

[esmeadoptme]

Someone: "How are you today?”

The hallucination of Edward Cullen that I keep around at all times: "Lie."

[esmeadoptme]

do you ever wonder why stephanie meyer had the cullens live in a small town to preserve their “anonymity?” has she ever been to a small town??? small town people got nothing to do all day, other than to gossip and think about those weird people that live in the forest. if anything, they’re getting the opposite of anonymity. you want real anonymity? live in a big city. you could live next to someone for 5 years and never even learn their name. they’re up all night? they’re beautiful, looks like they had some crazy good plastic surgery? you never see them go outside? somehow hella fuckin rich? yeah. That’s LA

[esmeadoptme]

bella googling “cold one” and finding beer ads moodboard

[esmeadoptme]

Bella: I’m gonna marry Edward

Jacob: