erysichthon-of-thessaly

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Guess what

I'm autistic. "Why I never do anything right" bruh my brain cells are jerry-rigged and mofos lied to me saying I needed to pray more or work harder

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LULA WON

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Got nervous for the voting day, had insomnia and diarrhea all day, had to take a medicine and RUN to my... Voting poll? I forgot the name in English.

Lula neess to win, ffs, even being a "broketarian" became too expensive! When Dilma was the president i could make my whole month's expense with 1/4 of a minimum wage, now it's 3/4 of it!!

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Now, what's actually keeping me awake

I'm obssessed with this shitpost. Some alt-right dude culturally appropriated Black culture and wrote this shittrap proposing a "Chrislam Union" to "restore Europe". (like pre-Reconquista times? I don't know)

Somebody pointed out he made a Averrois-Aquinas synthesis (I know nothing about the subject), people 'round social media laughing at his "go, René Guenón/ run a scimitar into the neck of a freemason" line, plus some crazy antisemitism like "the world of pornography is controlled by the Jewish".

It's hilarious because I first thought it was a call to end Islamophobia and it actually is something a lot more twisted, maybe based on Dugin's Fourth Political Theory.

Anyways I'm tempted to fall into the rabbit hole and read all about Guenón and more since tiktok have been sending me stuff about sacred geometry. Also, there's a 4chan poster who went from Atheist studying Kabbalah for fun to getting a mental breakdown?? What did he see? Do I want to know? Should I know? The week after surviving suicide and waiting for my body to recover from all the pills I started thinking "everything seems pointless" so I'm giving quick glances at the abyss before it looks back.

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misogyny is weird

I just brainstormed on reddit and, to be more succint...

Mom said to me I was so ugly no man would ever look at me. I grew up thinking being ugly would let me fly under the radar of misogyny, impossible to be placed under the Madonna-Whore complex. That only gave me a huge blind spot to danger because "there's no way I'm objectified".

I don't feel "broken" after surviving rape, I feel betrayed. I gave them a inch and they took a mile because I demanded a condom. Bruh.

One would think surviving such violence would make me identify myself with all of these, but nooooooo "I won't let him change who I am". I should have, because now I have the hardest time explaining (even to so-called progressive women) that I'm NOT a stupid little bimbo "who never washed a plate" just because I'm unmarried and childless at 31!

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The waters of march are unforgiving

I know, I know, people back then thought swamps caused malaria and thus destroyed mangroves by breaking hills down and embanking the area.

Then they built entire cities on top of these places.

Then they told the soldiers of the Paraguay war to fuck off and live up in hills that naturally collapses with mudslides.

Who was the dumbass that concluded this was a good idea?

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You know what?

Gustave Flaubert, Eça de Queiroz and other "realism writers who denounced society's immorality" were just a bunch of furious little men jumping up and down because women were jerking off to erotic romance novels of the time. Bitches couldn't find the clit and killed their heroines.

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It's been a while (Britney Spears voice)

I'm going to the movies tomorrow. I can't stand being sad anymore, there's a hole in my chest.

I'm getting an appointment to go to a psychologist asap bc I'm in this weird little state where I crave physical contact but feel kinda disgusted when I get it. And I still feel empty. And it's not sex, it's just asking for a hug... I want to cuddle, but not with anyone in my social circle. Not my family, not the men I had sex with, not my friends... everything feels awkward, icky and lonely.

I already had my period, and it's already gone. I'm physically fine, at last. No more nausea, vomiting, headaches, hot flashes. Tried reusable pads (together with menstrual cup) but didn't adapt yet and got some shorts dirty 😰

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we need to revive the "gemidão do zap" trend, but on tiktok

my unpopular opinion is that i hate tiktok because now people just publicly watch loud ass videos in public spaces with no regard for anyone else. 100% it was not this bad with youtube, it’s such a different thing with tiktok. put on headphones. you are grown.

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

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Brain soup #2

I'm not in the mood for chasing pirated SAD bc my body decided to weird all of a sudden and make me throw up, get hot flashes, headaches... And auditory hallucinations?

At least it's giving me "eureka" layered dreams, which are really like having many windows open with different dreams happening at the same time.

Now that I think about it, the last time i was able to think like this was when i was off my meds?? They probably stopped working. Booo, don't wanna go back to escitalopram!

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Redditors crashed the website with donations over $25k and 0 wishes left. via /r/MadeMeSmile

Click here and follow to get more daily positivity on your dash!

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Brain soup

"I am bad. Therefore, I must work hard until I'm worthy. However, I'll never be good enough." Those are my train of thoughts that plague me for as long as I can remember. Everything else in my life just grows on top of it.

The problem is that this pushes me to religious and political studies and I end up freaking. the fuck. OUT. which is pretty sad, because part of me actually enjoys the whole thing... and walking away doesn't really solve it, because I'm 24/7 like that for every situation, no matter how mundane it is.

All this long ass speech is me stalling to say that yep, I've seen @mysterioususerx stuff and I coincidentally had a time where I was in the Catholic Church to study a bit of stuff here, some stuff there, but

Mix my mentally ill ass getting a crush on a Black soon-to-be-seminarist who thought I was pathetic and everybody in said church going full Nazi. I could pocket some money by turning all the nightmares, panic attacks and everything into horror media.

So I was afraid of going uh... too deep again.

Yet, since I haven't touched any church with a pole since 2018 and had my fun with Lucifer series, I was also seeing stuff on TikTok. Some people talking about Qliphoth, sacred geometry, Asherah, I was having lots of fun and then "wait: isn't that the name of a BUCK-TICK song?"

Turns out I mixed up Asherah with Asura LOL but the mental image of Sakurai dancing in the middle of the Garden of Eden was fun

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Jingle Bell Rock

Just ate a micro Christmas dinner (stroganoff) bc everything else is costing a kidney. 45 bucks the cod kilo?? 80 for a chester?? 121 for gammon??? I'm out. 🙅🏻

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I found out a family secret

my father and his siblings inherited some land. His sister sold him her share. He refuses of taking up her work of tending the soil and plant vegetables. Suddenly, my mother reveals that land was a place of worship for African deities and that's the real reason nobody wants to do anything with it??? Holy shit???

I imeddiately called my father to ask if that was true.

"why do you want to know?"

And turns out it is true!! One of his ancestors worshipped African gods, but now he converted to Christianity :/ meh

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(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”