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“I really like you, and I was wondering if you wanted to get a cup of coffee sometime.”

PARKS && RECS MEME (P1.)

“Uh, y-yeah. That sounds… g-great. Great.”

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PARKS && RECS MEME (P1.)

“Just hit a fire hydrant, but I survived. #unbreakable”

“Can I help you move? I’m really good at it! Afterwards I can take the cardboard boxes and use it for breakdancing.”

“I can’t use my GPS, but I figured it out. I just drove around in circles until I saw something familiar.”

“Anything that can be penis shaped, will be penis shaped!”

“You look like Encyclopedia Brown.”

“As your self-appointed emotional guardian, it is my duty to love and support you.”

“The original title of this was: A Lively Fisting.”

“I really like you, and I was wondering if you wanted to get a cup of coffee sometime.”

“IF you had gone to Hogwarts Academy, which house do you think you’d be in?”

“I really need this party to go well, which is why I’m stress eating gummy penises.”

“Well, four years of work down the drain and I have a penis on my head.”

“I hate doing work, but I love being flattered. So maybe I’ll give it another try.”

“Please put your pants back on.”

“ Love? Love fades away. But things … Things are forever.”

“What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.”

“We’re just friends. He’s like the gayest person I’ve ever met, but I make out with him when I’m drunk sometimes.”

“Earlier, I was licking icing off of my finger and boom, I swallowed my wedding ring.”

“One time I accidentally drank an entire bottle of vinegar. I thought it was terrible wine.”

“Oh, one time I rode in a sidecar on a guy’s motorcycle, and the sidecar detached and went down a flight of stairs.”

“ I AM NOT CRYING, OK? I’M ALLERGIC TO JERKS!”

“That looks like something you would find on the wall of a serial killer.”

“ I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to ‘cause then there’s more room for me on the low road.”

“I want to punch you in the face so bad right now.”

“I’d like to say something. You are a wonderful person. Your friendship means a lot to me. And you look very beautiful.”

��But think how much better our friendship would be if we added…doin’ it.”

“I just opened a can of whoop ass on myself!”

“Your/My nickname around the office is Softypants Mchuggable.”

“Let’s cut the bull, alright? You want this. I definitely want this. T.H. wants this. Let’s seal this devil’s threeway right here, right now.”

“We should sue their parents for spawning a human turd burger.”

“I cannot emphasize enough how little I was thinking.”

“Don’t teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He’s a grown man. Fishing’s not that hard.”

“Scientists believe that the first human being who will live 150 years has already been born. I believe I am that human being.”

“I typed in your symptoms here and it says you might have… network connectivity problems.”

“One time I was dating this guy for a while, and then he got down on one knee and he begged me never to call him again.”

“ I call noodles long-ass rice. Chicken parm is chicky chicky parm parm. I call eggs pre-birds, or future birds. Root beer is super water. Tortillas are bean blankies. And I call forks…food rakes.”

“I feel great. I ran 5K this morning. No, no I didn’t. I threw up in the shower.”

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I read that one on a can of lemonade. I like to think it applies to life.”

“Catching the number 12 bus to Satan’s butthole?”

“Normally, if given a choice between doing something and nothing, I’d choose to do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I’d work all night if it meant nothing got done.”

“One time my refrigerator stopped working and I had no idea what do to! I just moved.”

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LOOK AT THIS GIANT DORK

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"Well, you and I pretty much have to get Pippa a broom or she'll probably run away and refuse to talk to us for years." 

"Maybe Santa could get a new Quidditch set for the whole family? I m-mean, Pippa and Galvin both love Quidditch... Clover said something the  other day about needing a new sweater... Maybe  Santa could get her one." 

"The trick is for Santa to get the kids some nice presents  but that we get them even better presents.”

"Any  ideas  what  Santa  could  possibly get for the little  rascals?”

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"You really weren't th-that bad, Lil." Ernie smiles softly,  a hand reaching gently for hers. "Don't worry about me  giving up on you, I love you too much to ever let you go now that I've got you back." he gently folds his hand around hers.  

"Don't give up on me, yet."

Relationship Issues [Starter Sentences]

"I don’t think you have to worry about that. I think I should worry about you giving up on me,      seeing how shit of a  girlfriend I was last time around.”

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"So... What are w-we gonna do about Santa?"

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Josefine Preuß in “Alles muss raus” <3

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ernestlongbottom

sometimes she writes bad poetry & calls it love

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"I dare you to kiss me"

Send "I dare you to kiss..." with a url/name and my muse will have to kiss that person on the lips.

Almost instantly Ernie’s face flushed a deep scarlet, he had no idea how he’d wound up playing a game oftruth or dare in the library with a group of Slytherin girls, and yet somehow he had. He could feel how sweaty his palms were as hecleared his throat, muttering bits and pieces ofwords as he scoots his chair a few inches overso he’s right beside her. Awkwardly, clearing his throat over and over,feeling the stress of this moment make hisstomach turn, he placed his hand on the sideof her face and pulled her face closer, pressinga gentle kiss on her lips. He was about to pull away when Casi’s lipscaptured his and drew the kiss out. He felt his hand on her face spasm with the surpriseof it, and the butterflies in his stomach beginto flutter ferociously. He’d liked her for a while, in secret, fascinatedby her and everything she did, and now shewas daring him to kiss her, and kissing himlike it was all she wanted to do. And so, not knowing what to do he clears histhroat and pulls away.

"Th-there. Th-that…" He clears his throatagain. “I th-think I sh-should g-go, I h-havea l-lot of s-studying to do…”

[ernestlongbottom-blog]

Send "I dare you to kiss..." with a url/name and my muse will have to kiss that person on the lips.

[ernestlongbottom-blog]

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always by your side (thiS IS SO IMPORTANT)

My muse is in hospital and is comatose. Send me “Always by your side” for my muses reaction to waking up to find your muse at their bedside.

The sounds of the world fill Ernie’s ears slowly, beginning with the steady beep of the heart monitor by his bed, the rushing sounds of the air conditioner, the shuffle of feet, the sound of his own breathing, he can feel sensation coming back to his fingers, his toes, as his eyes slowly blink open. For a long moment he doesn’t know where he is, he doesn’t understand what’s happening and then he remembers. He remembers the feeling of a violent curse making contact with his leg, he remembers the blood, the fierce pain, he remembers slipping in and out of consciousness as people tried to get him home from the war zone, how all he could think about was how he wasn’t going to get his story in before the deadline. He remembers being told he might not recover, he remembers hearing a rush of high heels on the linoleum floor, he remembers Casi, he remembers Casi being told what might happen to him, as he fell into a steady sleep. And now as he sits up slowly, he looks around for signs of Casi, for signs that she was by his side this entire time, and there she sits, in a chair by his bedside, frozen, in shock for a long moment. He reaches for her, and wraps his hand around her wrist. "You’re here." he whispers, in a voice hoarse from lack of use. 

[ernestlongbottom-blog]

My muse is in hospital and is comatose. Send me "Always by your side" for my muses reaction to waking up to find your muse at their bedside.

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[ text; albus ] what are you making an explosive for?

??

Send me ?? for a strange/vague text: ernestlongbottom

[ text: stuttering mcphee ] Bring the stuff.

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[MSG]:I'm a fool for thinking I was special to you.

[ text; casi ] what are you talking about?

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[MSG]: I can't bear to see you with someone else. (In your v: the editor) (also, lilylunes)

[ text; lily ] lily?[ text; lily ] do you wanna get coffee sometime? 

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[ text: albus ] depends, how bad is it?

??

Send me ?? for a strange/vague text: ernestlongbottom

[ text: stuttering mcphee ] Bring the stuff.