ephemeral-obscurities-blog

[ephemeral-obscurities-blog]

aspera

*The underlined words or phrases are hyperlinks, please click on and check them out.

habitus ⏮ 

highschool friends are forever

a reel from the real

what’s the most Atenean thing you’ve ever done ⏫  Grab to UP Town Center courtesy of the UAAP promo

The Ateneo. The Atenean culture is a culmination of the elitist or privileged laced with those of the fortunate from the hem of society - laylayan ng lipunan. My milieu, the latter. Proximity wise, the social distance between the classes is consequential. The welcoming holistic identity of the Ateneo in the consummation of the many people coming from diverse cultures fore burned in my mind was proven much idealistic. There remains an enduring wall; one that if I try to climb will cause great hardships and bitting pains from the acrid taste of reality. No matter how hard I try, my efforts at the expense of betting all my fortune will never come close. Frustrating. Futile. Trust me, I have learned the hard way… till then I will still be searching for the place where I belong, the crowd I can identify with, and the clique I can rest my heart on.

Outreaches have always been a part of the curriculum whether it be public, private, or exclusive schools. In one way or another, educational institutions have integrated programs to expose students to the many facets of reality unbeknownst or but rarely, may be familiar to them. The UP Vendors experience was reminiscent of the days back home, of days of struggle, of barely making ends meet. Whether it be stapling paper plates into paper bowls or memorizing combo meals or solving quick maths for change, I wish my efforts were significant enough. For a few hours, I hope the weight on their shoulders lightens and the day’s burden less burdensome.

what’s the most UP thing you’ve ever done ⏬  Eat the food my friends fail to finish cause we gotta rake up all resources we can

BINHI was a wake-up call. Rather than learning and helping the marginalized, I believe BINHI is learning and helping the self, a time for rediscovery. I am in a better place right now. It is up to me to make out of it the better version of myself I can possibly be, not only for my sake but for those who believe in me relentlessly, for those who support me unconditionally, and for those who love me nonetheless.

Hopefully, the BINIHI area integration, seemingly confined in a glorified rendezvous at present has a more sustainable outlook in the future.

The fleetingness does not stray too far from routinary public self-service of politicians: vote buying, project kickbacks, outreach photo opportunities. Every person who sat is adulterated by the seat, our puppeteer and we the puppets. We are dancing on the palm of their convenience and the end is not insight. We always fall back into the same pattern, the same routine. When will free ourselves from the chains that bind us?

Now, let us take control.

This is my final UTS blog post and I hope that through this we have both seen ourselves grow, my growth as a reflection of the lessons you have shared and wisdom you have imparted with us.

Thank you for the time, ma’am, it was a good ride.

One that given the chance I would take again.

mango graham shake

thank u, next

[ephemeral-obscurities-blog]

crush! crush! me! me!

It’s amazing how one person can occupy one’s consciousness and linger throughout. So much mental energy, as well as time, is dedicated for someone who may not even be aware of the impact of their mere existence or presence. An even greater wonder is how we single out someone amongst a crowd and come to fancy them.

Sino ka ba?

Who am I to you?

Who are you to me?

Intimacy and falling in love have always been closely associated. Though I have never really paid much attention to them, I had gained a deeper awareness of these concepts. The development of the capacity for intimacy and its culmination in the formation of a life partnership is a vital psychological task for young adults which can then be explored within the premise of a mutual agreement like a romantic relationship.

College is a time of exploration, of trying things out and getting to know ourselves and inclinations especially what makes us feel alive better. In this pursuit sometimes, the journey is made more meaningful when we have someone to share them with. To sustain the bond, consistent connection, attention, affection, most importantly open communication is vital. Apart from taking into consideration these components in interpersonal relationships, the self must also be given adequate apportion. Self-love is self-care. Self-care isn’t selfish.

I was once told that instead of finding someone you like, be the one found doing something you like. I guess we all have to first pursue ourselves, only after then can we extend beyond.

[ephemeral-obscurities-blog]

mememe

[ephemeral-obscurities-blog]

individuation timeline

Coming from a family who struggle to make ends meet on the daily, I have taken the greatest unanticipated risk that changed the course of my life, hopefully for the better.

separation

self-assertion

mutuality

permeability

[ephemeral-obscurities-blog]

pane of window by Johari

untapped potential; creatives by tJ

[ephemeral-obscurities-blog]

epi-genesis

The child’s dawning awareness of himself is an awareness of something necessary not being there. The child becomes present to the consciousness of his being in the absence of something he needs.

The heart of Erikson’s theory is the idea that personality develops in a predetermined order which builds upon each previous stage. During each stage, the person experiences a psychosocial crisis which could have a positive or negative outcome for personality development. Successful completion of each stage results in a healthy personality while failure to do so can result in a reduced ability to complete further stages and therefore an unhealthier personality and sense of self. However, these stages can be resolved successfully at a later time, hopefully.  

It’s kind of cruel that the development of a being must first depend on nature and nurture and that failure to be exposed on things the right way will be detrimental to your progress. The early stages define you and that bouncing back from them would now solely depend on the individual alone and external help would rarely come because it is expected at certain ages that you have already acquired these basic virtues but in actuality, as your developmental progress is delayed and any form of guidance though much needed is rarely available. Since you do not have the prerequisites to face the complicated and next level interactions, often you’d make mistakes or wouldn’t know your way around or entirely fail to adequately adapt the mechanics of certain social conventions which puts you at a disadvantage because people or society already has a set expectation, norm or a standard of how things are done resulting to an unfulfilled psychosocially handicapped self, missing out on the exponential value of the experience and connection among people and societies.

But then, we can’t really define our early days by our own choices because we are yet uncapable of doing such in our infancy and we have no choice but to work on how we are as beings now. We have to learn to accept, to tame our rages rather than reacting we can instead act on it.

One is forced to have fun in order to be well adjusted or at least appear so to others because only well-adjusted people are accepted as normal and are likely to be successful.

Our solutions tell us what our problems are. We learn to live somewhere between the lives we have and the lives we would like. The exemptions we suffer, whether forced or chosen, ultimately make us who we are.

[ephemeral-obscurities-blog]

lucid

Sweet dreams are made of these.

We are often aware that we have been dreaming but what we have dreamed of seems like an elusive distant memory and we are so accustomed to this reality - that dreams will be forgotten more often than not, dreams will not be remembered. In the morning, when we first open our eyes, we know nothing either of the content of the dream or the fact that we even dreamed.

Dreaming is a process by which the repressed unconscious wish, the latent dream content, the symbolic meaning finds a distorted conscious manifestation in the dream experiences. The heart of Freud’s theory is the idea that dreams spring from wish fulfillment, that we dream about what we dream of. Dreams therefore is the union of the motivated maunder of the conscious and the nocturnal wandering of the unconscious mind.

Every dream reveals itself with remarkable significance albeit only personally. Memories inaccessible in the waking state are manipulated, leaking through the backdoor of our conscious awareness. a slip, a freudian slip??? This realm of unconscious contemplation is where regret, loss, shame, disappointment are confronted. Yet, it is also in here that we taste the sweetness of victory, hopes, joys, and aspirations. In here we transcend what has been and possibly, what can be. 

I would like to believe that dreams are where residual thoughts substantiate.

Sleeping is a luxury in college but it is in sleep that we dream, unshackled by the repository of the ticking hands of time nor the conscious and surveying eyes or the constant conversations that permeate space. It is in these moments of silence and solitude that we find within us and through us more of us. 

[ephemeral-obscurities-blog]

In the Know

Infographic on Basic Emotions

Knowing the ABC’s of one’s basic emotions enables the individual to be conscious of how he/she conducts himself/herself which leads to better self-control.

[ephemeral-obscurities-blog]

ready, player One

Player One’s character has rendered.

Please stand by.

Preparing the Hill.

Ready

in 

3

2

1

Light illuminates on clean cut blades of leaves and on dignified buildings once enveloped in silence now reverberating. Players have assembled, each one deployed to different factions and families. They were briefed but the mission was inexplicit. Every player was reserved, smiling, raising their brows, or nodding at the maximum. Typical. All these bodies uncertain and calculating, anxious and careful, are solid. Solid particles are tightly packed, bound to interact with each other... so they did. Player One was struggling, even on the littlest of tasks, 3 out of 5 lives remaining. Each life lost as no one was willing to aid nor was player one’s pleas answered. Expectedly, the family was held by back and had no option but to move forward without player one. Crystals unknowingly dripped down the face of Player One. Breathe. Sit back. Allow things to pass. Think logically. Reign over System 1. You are in control. True power is restraint. 

Lives are replenished.

Player One picks up the pace and rolls the ball. Nothing must hold you back. It could be a little worse but there is something about everyone. With everyone its all more worth. Though wrong you can make it right. 

You've done it all alone; now, collide. 

Level One...

clear

*end of simulations*

[ephemeral-obscurities-blog]

8/8

bioecological system

1/8 — Inspired mistakes move us forth.

          To this day I must rise and try again.

          Once again try.

          No matter how hard, try. 

2/8 — 184592

                   BS ME                   

                               Z8                                  

                                  SocSc 11

                                                PSY         

                                                       F

                                                          F  

?  

3/8 — 

mama waiting for my departure    

           most cherished               

           most wished                                             

s             t              r              e             t              c             h         into         eternit          

    4/8 — 

when i say 4 you say play

when i say su you say ppo(R)t      

SU4 MARIO

5/8 — Z8 again for ME               

MakE it gr8

6/8 — not everyone will do the same for you               

It’s not about perfection, it’s about showing up and getting the job done.

Enduring is winning.

7/8 — To persist in time, ask the right questions instead of obtaining the right answers.

8/8 — twenty-five early Augusts and Septembers 

today is a loan from the universe granted for the time being

today is a loan

today is a lone