eparch

[eparch]

Do you think that guy's girlfriend who left him for Trahearne is still playing and do you think she has/is leveling a mesmer

[eparch]

If a sylvari discovered sex by doing it for the first time in their species' history, did they have to airdrop their sextape to the dream for other sylvaris to learn ?

Anon I want you to know this was the first thing I saw when I woke up the other day and it kept turning in my brain like a rotisserie chicken.

I have actually written a very silly fic based on how the sylvari race learned about sex, and now thanks to this ask all I can think is

Bonus: Cadeyrn being instantly traumatised the moment he awakens from the Dream (vaguely NSFW)

Straight up having war flashbacks because he learned things in the Dream about Trahearne that he's not really sure he wanted to know.

[eparch]

unfriendly reminder that when you reblog and put stuff in the tags the OP can see those tags in their mentions. feel free to hate characters and storylines in GW2 but it is a fucking courtesy not to spew that hate into the tags when you reblog someone's FANART. Make your own fucking post.

[eparch]

Lucilaeh/Trahearne is so doomed, I'm making it official that there are no versions of her that ever became Mesmers 💙

[eparch]

omg. Antiquary is the Dante spec

(as in DMC Dante)

[eparch]

lucky for me...Luci's personal story step was skritt! I can use this!!!

AS A THIEF MAIN I AM FUCKING EXCITED FOR ANTIQUARY

now i need to think abt making a Skritt friend for Luci though

[eparch]

reddit is melting down about antiquary not being thief's fourth edgelord elite spec btw and once more let's bring this comment back:

[eparch]

AS A THIEF MAIN I AM FUCKING EXCITED FOR ANTIQUARY

now i need to think abt making a Skritt friend for Luci though

[eparch]

Return to the Secrets of the Old Men Who Invented Divorce

[eparch]

If Antiquary ends up being related to R'tchikk/the Astral Ward somehow...I can easily work it into Luci's lore because she does spend the rest of her centuries-long life with them and pretty much mainly works with the Bastion of Knowledge when not in the field sooo

[eparch]

[eparch]

Antiquary for Thief...my Lara Croft cosplay for unload Deadeye real???

[eparch]

I had a dream about the Elite Specs. It was bizarre.

Cue 5PM, the usual time for me for patches, news blogs, etc. I check the site seeing if there'll be anything new for the day, hungry for information on VoE. There it is. A post about the first new spec! Excited, I go to click it, but then I realise 'what a weird title'.

Revealing: American Ultrathief Greathammer

I think I misread something but no, that's the name of the spec. YES, the spec for whatever reason also unlocked hammer on thief because I guess in my dreamverse Anet made the literal last second choice to add weapons to specs and stress everyone out, but the spec itself is called. American Ultrathief Greathammer.

My partner, who should have been the better part of 7,000 miles away, was also there. Screaming in joy as finally, thief can have a hammer. Thief can finally smash windows and take things. Thief wins.

I then make a post on my tumblr, simply reading:

us: gambler anet: american ultrathief greathammer

and for whatever reason this gets more attention than any post I have ever made on anything in my life. An influx of followers eager, I guess, to see me post more on the American Ultrathief Greathammer.

But then the discourse begins. I get DMs telling me that actually I misread it; it's AMERICA Ultrathief Greathammer. I simply ask if the n between America and American really matters that much, but this explodes into drama.

America, in my dream landscape, does not have anything to do with the USA's colloquial name or any continent whatsoever. I don't know what it was supposed to mean, but I think it was some sort of element? I don't really recall. People come to back me up saying, no, it WAS American.

I think people may have been upset(?) I was trying to imply that the real world United States of America exists within Tyria. Upset or bothered I was trying to muddy the water by implying some sort of isekai nonsense. I don't know.

The fighting begins. I'm knee-deep in drama over the Ultrathief Greathammer (with everyone dropping the first word now until we can collectively decide which one was real, because I guess none of us were smart enough to simply go back to the reveal post and double-check?)

And then I woke up and rushed here to type it up before I forgot.

Anyway. Anet. Give Thief a hammer.

[eparch]

RYTLOCK AND ISGARREN IN THE SAME ROOM

[eparch]

>:3

well, fuck

he sure is

[eparch]

in secrets of the obscure, zizel uses a lute when casting magic but in actual combat he whacks kryptis with it and zizel is voiced rick wasserman who also plays general nephus who uses warrior animations. therefore, the lute icon is a warrior elite spec.

[eparch]

Why did it never occur to me that it's entirely possible Aurkus had maneuvered events such that Eparch would weaken/eliminate the other founder houses? In the final state of Eparch's Nayos, House Aurkus was essentially unopposed as Eparch's Inquisitors and could do whatever the fuck they want