eoindroopy

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-------Autumn 2024------

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100 followers! here are 10 of my favorite pics of hayden :)

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Matty in New York 🖤

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I love looking up “eleven” on Tumblr because I always get a mixture of two of my favourite characters - Eleven from Stranger Things and The Eleventh Doctor from Doctor Who. 💕

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Doctor Who

I love everybody who loves Doctor Who and Matt Smith

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(x)

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Echoes

I spend my time getting ready,

I wear the necklace my best friend gave me 5 years ago and do my eyeliner how my first love liked.

As I usually do, i find myself at dinner in the new restaurant,

he walks over with a confident stride,

his ashy-brown hair bounches with each step,

He looks through me with his river-green eyes.

"so, tell me about yourself " he demands.

as I begin reading the script in my mind that I have always used my mind begins to wander.

'I picture a small house in a rural seaside town, everyday I walk the beach with his hand in mine, we walk through the shallow water as he holds our shoes. We come home and he looks at me with his river-green eyes and sees how my sun bleached blonde hair sits after I've been to somewhere windy, how my cheeks get momentarily sun kissed everytime I visit a beach or how my toes and fingers are laced with sand now and will be for quite some time.'

I finish reading my script and ask him about himself although his hair is now jet black and parted in the middle,

his bright blue eyes make me yearn for the ocean,

his hands show that he does manual labor, his voice deeper now i notice,

"so, tell me about yourself" he asked as if left with no choice.

this time I think of something else as I repeat myself,

'I wondered if he sees everyone he has ever loved when he looks at a daffodil or dandelion, if he can feel his heart begin to rot as the word casual leaves the lips of the person he liked the most or how quickly I will be forgotten when he leaves this restaurant.'

when he stares into my eyes I always notice something,

his lack of facial hair,

the way his beard isn't all the same shade of brown,

how his short bleach blonde hair doesn't suit his face or how his long brown hair gets unkempt quickly

I remember every single one.

if everyone can experience 24 hours differently why are all of mine the same,

I often think of what tomorrow could hold,

but for now I do not know,

all i know for certain is that,

if love is not real then I could not exist so,

i find myself at dinner in the new restaurant...

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Starry light projector

The warmth of my blanket reflects the feeling I get from my artificial sky,

I lie here resting gently staring at the moon projection that I got online,

simulated blue waves swarm my ceiling leaving no crevice untouched,

thinking of how lucky I am to be alive and how my hands are no longer clutched.

My mirror reveals my smudged eyeliner and faded love bites,

They look weird and off coloured due to all my different lights,

Echoes of the television softly enter and distort my thoughts,

Causing me to dissect everything that I believe I can want,

I waited for someone like you every August eighteen,

Through your wired earphones we listen to Brooklyn Baby,

Our fingers interlocked and your lips on mine,

Waiting for your order (you're receipt says 99),

I hope you have no expectations for how tomorrow will go,

Because to be honest I'm just done with feeling like a ho,

I want to walk alongside you and cheer on your accomplishments,

I need someone to shield me from those creepy men's compliments,

But for now I will sit under my full moon projection,

Hoping that you don't turn out like all of the other men,

I hope you see my personality as I see the blue waves that swarm my ceiling,

Because I need someone who's with me as I start this process of healing.

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12-15-2

your neon pink hair glistens in the sunshine,

in the playground we spend all of our time,

Your room is messy and so is mine,

Our entire lives are intertwined,

The smell of monster and vapes linger for hours,

I can see you in all your favorite flowers,

you're the only one who knows when my laughs are fake,

my trust in you could never break,

Over the years I have seen your violets turn to roses,

And the smiles that he makes you pose with,

I wish you could see as clearly as I do,

That he has turned you from pink to blue,

Your hair is brown now and you argued for that nose ring,

and you're proud to be wearing it bravely as it's shining,

I love the person you are more than anything else in the world,

But I'd give anything to see your true smile unfurl,

You do not get to do this to yourself it's unfair,

To lead a life filled with despair,

When I have seen sunshine leave your fingertips,

And the laugh of an angel escape from your lips,

You used to let pigeons climb all over you,

Just so that you could give them food,

There hasn't been a day you haven't made me surprised,

Such childlike wonder shines from your eyes,

I don't know how to end this poem,

I just wish you didn't know him,

I hope to read this back one day,

And laugh at the time the world made you gray.

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this is so me

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waxing moon, salem, ma, june 2016

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Girl activities

biting your nails

wondering how many bodies are hidden in your hometowns hills and forests

laying naked in bed tracing your scars

daydreaming about your future

pretending to look mysterious and read in front of your cafe crush

wondering what you would look like 50 lbs lighter than trying to decide if you want to relapse or not

brushing your hair with vintage silver hair brushes than wondering who all the women were who brushed their hair with it before you

writing poetry at 4 am

falling in love with your best friend

cleaning your room on a sunday

picking at your skin in the mirror till your whole face is red and swollen

daydreaming about bleaching your hair

cuddling your dog

remembering your dreams while sitting on the shower floor

watching movies, reading books, and watching shows, pondering the stories and characters and fantisizing about your life being like those stories