endycuzyes

[endycuzyes]

At least Leith, Sawyer and Ritterman were honest about the fact that it was fucked up. Stella had her head under a pillow pretending it would all work out to cleanse her conscious

[endycuzyes]

he is now drawn

N snow man!1!2!2

[endycuzyes]

N snow man!1!2!2

[endycuzyes]

having important au discussions with @marcygoo

the basis for this statment was, shockingly, what solver cores would taste like

wet, warm, and crunchy. was the consensus

just if you. needed to know

[endycuzyes]

So, do y'all remember that Tessa keychain I was making?

Cause she's here!!!

[endycuzyes]

[endycuzyes]

ok so I saw this and

[endycuzyes]

OH MY???

THIS LOOKS SO SCRUMPTIOUS EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT DONE?? IM JUST GONNA STARE AT THIS IMAGE BECAUSE I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN HOW AMAZING IT LOOKS TO ME

ihate rendering so much its unreal WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF

[endycuzyes]

I specifically said to myself “don’t forget her hair things”

sigh . .

I watched murder drones for the first time this year

[happy new year :3]

[endycuzyes]

I watched murder drones for the first time this year

[happy new year :3]

[endycuzyes]

Then I have more to cross off lol

Here was my TADC bingo that I made with my frens :]

[endycuzyes]

Here was my TADC bingo that I made with my frens :]

[endycuzyes]

Tessa Figurines :D

[endycuzyes]

there’s something about this scene in murder drones that really fucks with me when I think about it

—long post and murder drones ep 7 spoilers below—

So for a short recap of what happened up till this point, Tessa told N that Earth imploded, to keep the former a secret from Uzi, escaped from whatever the fuck happened in Ep 6 and V sacrificed herself so the rest of them could continue exploring Cabin Fever Labs and not be brutally torn apart by the sentinels.

N’s not having a good time to put it lightly.

He’s in the aftermath of V’s sacrifice and N’s look of just pure despair here says more than I could ever try to put into words.

He’s in shock, he’s concerned and scared and his mind must be working overtime trying to process what just happened.

V may be dead.

Denial or anger or maybe even both comes over him. Even if V and N’s relationship has been messy recently, he still CARES about her and having V sacrifice herself for both his and Uzi’s sake… He just can’t take it.

Impulse takes over as he begins firing at the ruble. V can’t be dead. SHE CAN’T BE DEAD.

He yells at Uzi to use her solver so they can get back V. He starts slashing at the ruble with claws because he needs V with him. He isn’t thinking, he’s just blindly attacking because he NEEDS V.

As he continues acting purely on his emotions, Tessa yells at him to watch it and he turns around to see…

“I… don’t think I s-should. I’m sorry, N…”

N must feel terrible in this moment. In his inconsideration, he hurt Uzi, one of the people he cares the most about. He might already have lost one of his friends and he doesn’t want lose another. He must feel awful.

He tries apologizing, tries deescalating the situation. You can see in his body language here that he’s trying get down to her level, trying to make her feel not uncomfortable with him. He wants to tell her it isn’t her fault, that he lost control of his emotions for a moment and feels deeply sorry for what he just did and-

Tessa interrupts him.

Tessa stops him from trying to talk it out with Uzi. Now, I feel like we all know at this point that this isn’t Tessa. This is Cyn wearing Tessa’s skin pretending to be Tessa and on rewatch this scene hits even harder. At this point in the story, Cyn is trying to regain control of N, either by manipulating him or hacking into his software (as seen by a this).

And to do that, Cyn has to get N alone and isolated from anyone who might try to intervene.

What Cyn is trying to do by not letting N speak to Uzi is that she’s trying to drive a wrench between the two, and if she succeeds, she can have an obedient murder pet that will eat planets with her. Seeing as neither of her plans worked out, she settled on just killing N, thus the whole “why is Cyn after her own murder pet” thing.

I’m getting ahead of myself, back to the scene itself.

This single frame adds so much in such little time its shown. Uzi sees herself bleeding in the reflection of Tessa’s sword, not oil, but blood. As anyone would be in this situation, she’s visibly shocked. Not only does this add another parallel between Doll and Uzi, but it also adds a level of discomfort to Tessa on Uzi’s behalf.

Tessa goes “Uzi, let’s have you sit this one out, eh? Box over there. Robots like boxes, right?” Which is (1. Insensitive and emotionally immature of her. And (2. Cyn trying to get alone with N.

Uzi doesn't want anymore of Tessa’s cryptic bullshit and tries to speak up and is yet again, interrupted by Tessa. This time, she’s speaking solely to N. She wants him to speak.

As you can see, N does not like being abruptly put on the spot. Taking everything prior into account, we can tell that N doesn’t know what to say. Cyn, FOR THE THIRD TIME THIS SCENE, is forcing that wrench harder down into N and Uzi’s relationship.

N is visibly nervous when speaking here. He’s trying to pick his words as carefully as he can under this much stress. He manages to get out “Uzi, there, um, might be some things down here that you don’t want to see.”

Uzi isn’t getting the full picture here. N is hiding something from her, which is terrifying for her. What reason would N have to hide anything from her? And Cabin Fever Labs, possibly the only place where Uzi can get answers, “might have things she doesn’t want to see”? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

N is definitely freaking out because Uzi is freaking out and N doesn’t want to be responsible for anybody freaking out, especially if it’s Uzi.

N isn’t getting the full picture either because “Tessa” is purposefully not giving it to him.

N tries assuring Uzi that everything’s going to be alright, that they’re not going to hurt her.

“…Hurt me?”

…

Uzi’s solver activates and it summons a null void. The corridor starts caving in. N reaches a hand out for Uzi to take. She backs away.

And that ends one of the most emotional one minute and forty two seconds of my life. Yeah, that’s right, everything mentioned here happened in the span of one minute and forty two seconds!

FUCK

ME

[endycuzyes]

Alr I had to draw this thing IMMEDIATELY

Might do a full Astro Tessa drawing with this helmet later

“TESSAS” HELMET IS IN THE DIE MAD DESKMAT AND I DIDNT NOTICE??

(WOAH THE CRACKS LOOK COOL I WASNT EXPECTING IT TO BE SHATTERED)

[endycuzyes]

“TESSAS” HELMET IS IN THE DIE MAD DESKMAT AND I DIDNT NOTICE??

(WOAH THE CRACKS LOOK COOL I WASNT EXPECTING IT TO BE SHATTERED)

[endycuzyes]

Random drawing (doodle?) I did of the solver today shshshahiaks