endoace

[endoace]

Deathless by Catherynne M. Valente

[endoace]

——— “sᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ following me! or, well, my my soul, i suppose. purportedly, that thing is still part of the overall me." ace had been in this hotel bar, staring down the neck of a beer bottle, picking at the label he remembered once having a far fonder opinion of, when they waltzed in. no, quite literally: through the door, sweep in those multicolor skirts convincingly enough that ace had caught himself tilting his head to listen for the music she was carried in on. 

 she was terrifying. it was good for him. that had to be the only reason he was allowing this, her hand on his chest, crafting a storyline he wasn’t briefed on, until the hand wasn’t there anymore, and his own was fluttering up to replace it — the way one checks a pocket for their wallet to make sure it wasn’t left at home. a pause, only the span of a breath; letting her laugh, but more importantly, continue building her little internal narrative, before he asked, all seriousness, “what’s it saying now? something charming and articulate, i hope. otherwise the holes in your plotline might start to show...” 

status : closed / ( @endoace​​​ ) location : a random bar eren probably has no memory of entering :/

🌻 ⠀  ⠀ ⠀  ⠀ ───────────  “ i wasn’t following you, i swear ! ” as far as greetings go, it wasn’t the most promising. however, if anyone knew her affinity for spreading stories about him they’d understand why it was necessary. “ i personally believe that it’s just a sign of our souls calling out to each other. ” the playful tone came easy as she placed one hand on her heart, and the other over his chest as she made herself comfortable on the barstool beside him. the line was one they were certain they’d used in one of their stories. something about him being gone from their side, but their souls still communicating on the daily. how they managed to get through that entire web of lies without cracking up in the middle of it was a testament to how good they had gotten at spewing tales. “ tell me ace of my heart, did you miss me as much as i missed you ? ──── wait, no ! don’t tell me… ” the hand that was placed on his heart was removed so she could hold up a finger; their eyes looking off to the side as if listening intently for something. “ your soul will tell me everything i need to know. ” they didn’t bother trying to withhold their laughter after that one.

[endoace]

@broussards​: 

“i just hope you haven’t jinxed it,” the comment comes laced with a light tone, even if marli means every bit of it. still, there’s a small sensation of relief that washes over marli as soon as they hear the other confirm their sentiment, a weak and short-lived smile tugging at the corner of their lips ( and marli knows it only came so naturally because there’s no chance of anyone seeing such a candid moment of hers, the most she’s shown without feeling like that fateful night is written all over her face ). “oh,” marli breathes out after realising what the other means, “it’s fine, i’m fine for now. thanks, though. you should sit down, we can talk about changing places in a bit.” marli makes sure to tell more than to show since, well, they were in the dark and the last thing she wants is to let it become even more awkward because something gets lost in translation. “what are you thinking right now?” marli asks, hoping to fill the silence. 

——— ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪs ʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴᴋɪɴɢ about right now? well, as ace lowers himself onto the edge of the edge of his roller case, he’s thinking about some half-dozen things, all at once, all unfinished. most some form of self-immolating in some form of ‘fuck, was that weird?’ or another. the one that comes out isn’t any better. it’s quiet, despite the growing din of chatter while more and more guests join in the icebreaker, and as he’ll reflect seconds after it’s too late, a little weird, too. “who you could be.” the realization comes awash, and he clears his throat, explaining a phrase that needed none to a stranger who didn’t ask for it. “i, er. i’m from here. graduated with the couple. friends, with bride moreso than groom, to be specific, and i’m just...wondering how maybe people here i’ll know.” the hope is for fewer. “what about you? bride or groom’s side?” 

[endoace]

센미츠지.

[endoace]

broussards​:

— AKIHIKO ENDŌ

you’ve got to be kidding me. 

every fibre of marli’s being had screamed at her to just turn around, get on the ferry and go back home — whatever home was. they know what it used to be ( who it used to be ) but being back in sierra has made everything… worse. this little game, this little stupid attempt at having people get to know each other only made the screams louder. only this time, there’s no turning back. marli can’t help but feel the slightest bit uncomfortable, arms wrapped around herself in a soothing manner, but the other’s ice-breaker can’t help but make the old flame chuckle a bit, even if weakly. “well,” she begins, tone laced with a playfulness that seems uncharacteristic of her, “that’s a fact, so now you’d only have to think about four more. still hell, though.” marli’s mind can’t help but wonder what exactly her five facts would be — all they know is that most of what goes on in their life is anything but fun. 

 “yeah, still hell though.” he echoes softly, pushing the handle of his roller suitcase (because he never left the aughts, apparently) down and pausing, awkwardly, in the moment of quiet. college had tried to prepare him for his moment but he just wouldn’t listen, and now, he’s stuck keeping his arms tucked tightly into his sides for fear of accidentally intruding on this unknown girl’s space and rolling attempts at friendless around in his skull. “um, do you want —” the words fail him, just for a moment, before he clears his throat and tries again. the line between polite and creep felt so goddamn thin in the dark. “sorry, i mean, we don’t know how long the game will last, and the ferry was pretty rocky... would you want to sit down?” there’s a tiny motion to his suitcase, at perfect hip height, before, again: realizing the dark, and nudging it a bit closer in her general vicinity instead. 

[endoace]

this is a joke. it has to be a joke. 

@broussards — ʙʟᴀᴄᴋᴏᴜᴛ

at least, on behalf of the universe, it’s a joke. no part of this visit could be easy, huh? he’s giving off so much annoyed, exhausted energy that he’s not sure if he’s projecting it onto the person to his left or if they’re really feeling it too. this has to be billie’s doing, right? this feels distinctly like it has head-cheerleader rush week written all over it. it’s not exactly like he can just feel his way to his room, though, so here he is; playing nice. knowing billie, the ‘game’ wouldn’t be over until she, personally, had seen to everyone’s involvement in it. “the only way i’ve started conversations in the past...months is by introducing myself as ‘name, job title.’ i swear, if tomorrow’s breakfast is withheld until i can name five fun facts about myself, i’ll starve.” 

[endoace]

—— introducing akihiko “ace” endō. 

stats page. ooc page. discord. 

// tl;dr, former academic enthusiast from a well-off family struggles to unite his two halves - the part that lashed out in anger and revenge and did something awful and the part that was supposed to be and do something great, and a whole that has stagnated, lost, ever since. a mun that is shirking college responsibilities and is available damn near all hours on all platforms. 

&& — the basics.

this part is simple. ace is part of the fifteen’s graduating class, aspired to be the next oscar wilde or michael foucalt or amanpour, was that annoying guy smoking at parties going, “well, in kant...” that everyone assumed would be successful through pure spite and lack of sleep alone.

he assumed it too. one could say he even took it for granted. 

akihiko (or ace, a nickname he earned because of his affinity for AP classes and ghost-writing lowerclassmen’s essays to perfection) attempted to pick a fight, drunk on liquor and adrenaline and anger, with jacob willington on senior night, which earned him the title he bears with heavy shoulders and spooked glances: culprit. guilty, sinner, criminal —

&& — the details.

he left island for college and tried his best to return as infrequently as possible. he tells his parents it’s because he’s busy. so busy, so successful. he hates the lie, but he can’t stand the feeling that the closer to home he gets, the more the graveyard presses in on him, suffocating. 

he can’t believe there’s a wedding happening. he can’t believe he didn’t just send an expensive gift off the registry and stay home. for some godforsaken reason, he’s here, surrounded by everyone who knows him. knows him better than anyone else in the world. his nightmare. 

he wants to hate the fifteen for having their lives together, for moving on when he couldn’t, but he’s never considered they could be pretending too. 

&& — the connections.

i’d love for someone to have brought him, begged him, influenced him, to come to the wedding. (read: bride? groom? wedding party? being part of the wedding party?) having the other muses know some of his reluctance + having a strong bond right off the bat for him to show up for would be lovely. 

i want ace to have had a crush on someone during their high school years, cowardly kept it to himself, and to still be projecting feelings onto said person. they can kept in touch over time, they can have returned the feelings - but nothing was ever done about it, not when it was easy, and now things are too, too complicated. 

similarly possible, a hookup plot. these are the only people in the world he wouldn’t feel like he’s lying to or taking advantage of - they know his sins, and should they still make the conscious choice to want to fuck him? well, his craving for human contact and affection would go far deeper than any sense of rationality. 

but, as all things must, a balance: who hates him the most? who skitters from him in a room, seeing the blood on his hands and fearing him for it? is it actually anyone, or is it his own paranoia manifesting? ...in the end, does it really even matter which? 

and finally: the one who dragged him away. this can be anyone, and have any present relationship, but the one who decided they had to go, that jacob fell wrong, that not even ace’s own parents could save him. but did you know? did you know that to be true, in your heart of hearts, or did you want to spare ace the punishment, or did you simply let him take the mighty fall for what you felt was righteous justice?