endlessartificer - Tumblr blog

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thank you both for this, i was literally in the process of writing a post about this as i saw these.

i came out as bisexual when i was about 19 or 20 years old, in 2011 - 2012. this was such a difficult thing because everyone around me suddenly had very pointed opinions on me. suddenly i wasn't queer anymore, i was a straight person. i asked people why and they said well bisexual people are half straight, which makes you straight, which means gay people don't want to be around you. i was told nobody likes bisexuals because they're too straight to be gay and too gay to be straight

i had a literal personal dilemma because i didn't feel like that at all. when i was realizing i was bisexual i was realizing i was attracted to all genders in a queer way. i did NOT feel like my attraction to men, women or genderqueer people was straight in any way, shape or form. i've always fit in much better in both gay and lesbian circles. those have always been my home, and my community

in the early days of my transition, when "genderqueer" wasn't even remotely heard of, i had to try to transition into being a man to be seen as trans at all. i went from being forced into lesbian spaces to being forced into gay male spaces. nobody let me pick where i was existing. i was being pushed around. i liked both lesbian and gay male spaces, but i was being told when i could and couldn't occupy the spaces. and then when it came out i was bi everyone called me a traitor and said i was a straight person

my best friend at the time came with me to pride meetings and when her mom found out about that, and that i was bi, she told my friend she couldn't come to those pride meetings anymore, and that i was turning her daughter into a lesbian. her mother would not stop calling me a lesbian all throughout my life. from early childhood, she thought me and her daughter were dating because i was butch and she was femme and we were very close. her mom carried this belief into adulthood, asking her outright if we were lovers. her brother thought we were, too, and taunted us about it.

my own mom weaponized lesbianism against me. she hated how butch i was. she hated that i "looked and acted like a lesbian". she called me a butch and a bulldyke hatefully. she told me not to dress or look certain ways or else people would assume i, and her by some proxy, were lesbians. my mom was insanely butch so i don't really know why this was being leveraged against me but either way when i became a young adult and my mom was trying to force me to learn to drive (something i am terrified of doing due to having 2 dissociative disorders), she asked what kind of car i would ideally like. i said a truck. i was standing there in a purple plaid shirt and she just sighed and went "I knew you were a lesbian." she pointed out my shirt. she was weaponizing lesbophobic and butchphobic stereotypes against me, but either way, reinforcing that i was a lesbian in one capacity or another

i got so tired of my friends harassing me for saying that if i was bi that meant i was straight and i needed to stop calling myself gay because i wasn't, and that it was an "insult" to the gay community. note that nobody gave a singular flying fuck about the bisexual community at all. i was literally bullied out of identifying as bi, because my straight cishet male friends hated it, and my lesbian identifying GF was uncomfortable with it because it made me sound too straight.

the thing is, none of these people asked what being bisexual meant to me.

i actually liked the lesbian community a lot. i really love other lesbians. i have always been attracted to lesbian and butch identifying people for as long as i could remember. i loved seeing strong butch women on TV, even if there were rude jokes. i loved the idea of being a masculine person who is sometimes a queer masculine woman. i loved the idea of being with femmes, i loved queer women and people who took femininity to the next level. i also loved seeing gay men when and wherever they existed. i always felt like i fit right in, and like i was seeing a reflection of a part of myself i needed help discovering.

i have almost always, as long as i can remember, identified as a gay man, and a lesbian, at the same time. my attraction to men, women, and people of all genders is queer no matter what gender of mine is involved. it doesn't matter. i have never felt "half gay half straight" which is why people weaponizing heterosexuality against me as a bisexual forced me to strictly identify as a gay man for almost a decade. it was painful to ignore my butch lesbian side, and to stop identifying as gay, because people would criticize how attractive i found women, and other people

if people had let me exist and explain what bisexuality means to me, they could've understood that bisexual is an inherently deeply queer attraction no matter what genders are involved, but NOBODY cares to listen to the bisexual. everyone LOVES to speak for us because we're just "straight people invading the queer community."

we've had it. bisexuals are queer. even if they DO identify as "half straight" they're STILL queer. let bisexuals define bisexuality. there is no one size fits all form of bisexuality. every single bisexual defines it differently and that's the point. it's a very complex identity with many layers that often relate to gender and presentation as well as attraction.

let bisexuals define bisexuality.

[endlessartificer]

Eating a bagel and being a cunt. Eating a bagel and being a cunt. Eating a bagel and being a cunt. Eating a bagel and being a cunt. Eating a bagel and being a cunt. Eating a bagel and being a cunt. Eating a bagel and being a cunt. Eating a bagel and being a cunt. Eating a bagel and being a cunt. Eating a bagel and being a cunt. Eating a bagel and being a cunt. Eating a bagel and being a cunt. Eating a bagel and being a cunt. Eating a bagel and being a cunt. Eating a bagel and being a cunt. Eating a bagel

[endlessartificer]

For all the Winnie the Pooh folks out and about, I figured I’d share a recipe my Pooh alter makes whenever he fronts! It’s called Honey Bee Cookies from the Alpha-Bakery Cookbook.

Ingredients:

1/2 cup margarine or butter, softened

1/2 cup packed brown sugar

1/2 cup honey

1 egg

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon (I usually do closer to a full teaspoon and I do pumpkin pie spice instead of just cinnamon)

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees fahrenheit (190 celsius)

Beat margarine, brown sugar, honey, and egg in a medium bowl on medium speed, scraping the sides and bottom of the bowl constantly, until smooth. Stir in remaining ingredients.

Drop the dough by teaspoonfuls onto an ungreased cookie sheet.

Bake until set and light brown around the edges, about 7 to 9 minutes. The surfaces on the cookies should look shiny.

Let stand for 3 to 5 minutes before removing from the cookie sheet, then remove from cookie sheet with metal spatula onto a wire rack. Makes 36 cookies.

(If you want to be extra, try browning the butter and cooling it beforehand, or try dipping the hot cookies in cinnamon-sugar!)

I hope this makes some of you feel a little more homey, whether you’re from the Hundred Acre Wood or just a dear friend stopping by to visit. And Pooh says he’s proud of all of you for making it this far with how hard the world is, and he hopes his favorite cookies help you feel better. (He also says hi to all the friends coming out of the woodworks, doubles or no!) 💖

s

[endlessartificer]

[https://www.inaturalist.org/observations/50196997] Spix's Macaw || Cyanopsitta spixii Observed in Brazil, 1992 EXTINCT in the Wild

[endlessartificer]

currently maybe possibly single-handedly crashing whatever servers eton hosts its archived student newspapers on because me and a friend are getting obsessed with a single outspoken prefect from 1883

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[endlessartificer]

your scent processing being so close to memory in your brain is insane sometimes you step outside and take a whiff and go "ah, it smells like playing pokemon emerald in my third grade afterschool program in the crisp september of 2006"

[endlessartificer]

The Bird Daughters. A comic about a bird woman and her dreams. made in the spring of 2023.

[endlessartificer]

There is no shame in loving without abandon. ✌️❤️

[endlessartificer]

this is for an argument w my friend

[endlessartificer]

new tumblr game. put in the tags a GENUINE flaw your fav(s) has. cant be something like "too kind" or "loves too much" like something genuinely bad messed up morally wrong they are or have done

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Note to vacationing non-Americans: while it’s true that America doesn’t always have the best food culture, the food in our restaurants is really not representative of what most of us eat at home.  The portions at Cheesecake Factory or IHOP are meant to be indulgent, not just “what Americans are used to.”

If you eat at a regular American household, during a regular meal where they’re not going out of their way to impress guests, you probably will not be served twelve pounds of chocolate-covered cream cheese.  Please bear this in mind before writing yet another “omg I can’t believe American food” post.

[endlessartificer]

beauty standards are so fucked up what happened to i love your body because it's you. what then.

[endlessartificer]

reposting because op was fash

[endlessartificer]

I think the biggest thing mascot horror things need to get a grip on is the reasonable balance of cute/creepy. The mascot in question needs to be cute enough to realistically be for children but scary enough to actually make for effective horror. Most games always lean too far in either direction and idk maybe it's just me but immersion with these kinds of games are important for me to actually find enjoyment in them.

[endlessartificer]

old married spirk:)

I like the way you draw Spock’s ears

Tw:Self Hatred/Internalized fatphobia (dw it’s not as dark as it sounds, it’s just a self deprecating comment!)

McCoy:STOP BEING GAY ON THE BRIDGE!!

(Also THANK UUU, I love Spock’s ears)

[endlessartificer]