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‘Ingo is his own ancestor’ [aka Ingo fucks au]

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mama and baby

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this made me emotional ;-;

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hooray for blue charmander!

somehow I've done another Chartodile family moment

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method actor this method actor that. toshiro mifune played a guy getting shot at by arrows by getting shot at by arrows

and yeah i believe it. ^ this is the face of a guy getting shot at by arrows

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“Allt kan hända i rymden" 

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I am real tired of having to see people clarify that lovecraft tried to become a better person later in life. How the fuck did “I like your shoelaces” permeate the general knowledge sphere of tumblr but this hasn’t yet

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Hey it isn’t disney the actors came up with it. Pintel is still gay though

the truest toxic pirate yaoi is whatever Pintel & Ragetti have going on in the first movie

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Ch3 Gary fight in a nutshell.

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boob window showing off the gaping hole in my chest

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truly obsessed with the fact that the first thing Will does when the pirates attack is go out and huck an axe square into a man’s back

the thing that people need to understand about will is that he has so much pent up frustration of both the sexual and regular variety he is treated horribly by absolutely everyone except for the lady who very clearly wants to fuck him silly except he can't do anything about that because SOCIETY is making life difficult for him SOCIETY literally keeps him down and so basically there is so much unbridled rage in will and even when things get better for him like even after he finally gets to have hot beach sex with his epic wife and SOCIETY can't get to him anymore that will still be extremely fundamental to who he is as a person because his brain learned to develop a certain amount of base level of pure burning anger at a very formative age and he has to take it out on random people when he can get any sort of excuse

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I was allowed to point out things i was interested in but my mother could shoot it down. Which was good, thank you mom for not letting your 12 year old walk around in a crop top

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it is so jarring and weird when a fantasy book is like “ok let’s go around the circle and have each character talk about which lgbt umbrella category they identify with” like ok your fantasy world doesn’t have to be feudal europe but can it not be 2023 twitter please

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ah no, i wanted to summarize it

Would you share scans privately? I am on the wiki but unable to buy either horse of evil books unfortunately, so I need some help.

I'm afraid not. I don't own either book, so the scans I have access to are not mine to share. Additionally, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that for anyone but friends.

Also, are you saying you need the scans to upload them onto the wiki? Because…that wouldn't be sharing them privately. That would be sharing them publicly using you as a middleman. Which I also am not comfortable doing.

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I made a post when the movie first came out where I theorized that Will is fucked up is because Elizabeth went out to sea, got killed, and then Will violated his contract by ressurecting her. Because of this Elizabeth fell into despair and refused to go out to sea ever again.

Okay. There's a few plot points I keep seeing people misunderstand about PotC, so I'm gonna be annoying and make a little list of them with their more canon explanations here. Obviously, feel free to re-interpret these things in fanfics and art etc. It's fun to go, "Well, in MY version, THIS is how it works." Unironically: great! Do that if you want!

But for the sake of fandom META, I gotta clarify these points:

Davy Jones did NOT cut his heart out because he loved Calypso "too much" and wanted to numb the pain of loving her

This is the story Will and the audience is told by Calypso as Tia Dalma in Dead Man's Chest--and is the story she apparently believes. It's the story Jones himself probably prefers people believe. It's poetic and sad and makes him look like a victim. But it is a false narrative, and we're shown that in the third movie. Will discovers what the truth is for the audience in At World's End when he meets with Jones and Beckett. He realizes Jones really cut his heart out, because he sold Calypso out to the Brethren Court in revenge and then wanted to numb the guilt of that betrayal, so he could move on without looking back, pretending he "did nothing wrong" even though he cognitively knows it was deeply wrong. Davy Jones didn't simply cut the love out of his chest, he cut his conscience out and buried it in the earth where he cannot go, because he was THAT committed to making her suffer the way he felt he was made to suffer. He would rather mutilate his own body and soul than free Calypso, he is that bitter.

The world isn't a flat earth in PotC

The most basic answer to this is this: it's PotC. The writers like to put intentional contradictions and paradoxes in there for the humor and funsies. "How do you find an island that cannot be found unless it already is?" (Shrug!) "How do you sail off the edge of a world shaped with no edges?" (Shrug!) Don't ask questions, get in the boat.

But if you want a more in-universe explanation, it's a little more complicated:

Earth is still a canonical globe. Beckett owns globes in his offices and is working on having the whole world charted, to force it open for consumption. Jack's sign out in CotBP is about exploring what's over the horizon. In a deleted bit of dialogue from their first scene together, Will questions Beckett why the East India company is in the Caribbean at all, and Beckett asserts, "We are east of India, just the long way around." This isn't something that's specified very well in the final cut of the movies, so this one makes sense for people to not totally get but: the charts they steal from Sao Feng are important because those rotating circles are meant to show seven plains of reality and how the movement of the stars guides access to them. We're never told what the other six plains of reality are, we only know they chart beyond the mortal world, including the world of the dead. People are only able to sail off the "edge of the world" after passing through the Farthest Gate into a new plain of reality. That's what that ice cave is that they sailed through, the Farthest Gate. Because it's a gate that moves with the stars, it might not always be a giant ice cave. Sailing over the Mirror Seas was meant to convey being in that new plain of reality. Whether the Mirror Seas are another whole world and a separate ring on the map or just a liminal space between realities is for us to decide. (I vote the latter.)

While there isn't a canon model of how the edge of the world "works," we know that the world is not flat. There's lots of other models you can play with: for example, I like to imagine it more like Saturn, with something of a spiritual "ring" of extended seas around it that moves, and that's what you have to find and sail over to make it to the Seas of the Dead without dying or needing the power of the Green Flash. Or MAYBE--if you like that post comparing Will and Legolas to each other--it could be compared to Middle-Earth, where the physical world has been bent into a sphere but there's like ... the path along the world's old, flat shape that can be found by elves following Earendil or whatever? The Silmarillion's hard to summarize succinctly, okay?

The entire underworld isn't all Davy Jones' Locker

The PotC underworld is basically an expanded, alternate version of the ancient Mediterranean underworlds--Greek, Egyptian etc--with us only getting glimpses of the oceans around the Pirate equivalents of Tartarus, Elysium and all that. But the Locker is one specific limbo-like space something like purgatory, and it prevents souls from making their journey to the afterlife. It also is supposed to look different to each person trapped there--for Jack it happened to appear like salt flats because that's his personal hell: unable to travel the seas, only having himself for company. (Which... the marooning of pre-CotBP. Just saying.) Once the Black Pearl sets sail on the seas of the dead, and the characters start seeing the spirits of the dead in and on the waters, they're not in the Locker anymore. They're wandering the wider underworld, looking for a way out.

Elizabeth and Will cannot just go meet at sea in the ten years after AWE

There's two problems/conditions with Will and Elizabeth's separation people seem to have not noticed in the movies--either because the dialog isn't an overt statement or people miss the explanations altogether.

Going back to some of what I've established with traveling to the edge of the world: Will is not in the same world/reality as Elizabeth while serving on the Dutchman. That's part of what is meant to be represented by him disappearing in a green flash--he's crossing the boundary into the other world. He sails the seas of the dead, the underworld that they spent the first third of the movie getting to. And while's he's not technically dead, functionally for Elizabeth, it's as though he is for those ten years--if he's doing the job as required, she's not gonna wander around the ocean and just come upon him around shipwrecks or whatever. Will cannot leave the underworld without breaking the terms of the contract. Davy Jones was sailing the seas of the living, because he very deliberately DID break the contract and abandoned his job as the psychopomp of the underworld's oceans. That's the whole reason he and the Dutchman's crew were cursed. He just... didn't care about that part anymore. Will can only do the same thing, wandering the world of the living, if he accepts becoming cursed and trapped as the Dutchman's captain until someone kills him.

I'm gonna self-reblog for my next points, because apparently I'm hitting a character limit on this post.

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4 days until wet rat wednesday

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god damn this is a QUILT ('late day shadows' by nancy messier)