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anal?

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meowing instead of moaning

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If you’re against putting safe needle disposals in public restrooms you’re basically saying you want to force addicts to leave them where they’re a danger to everyone else

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What if Scotty is not actually Scottish, though? 

Like, what if his name just happens to be Montgomery Scott, so all of his friends started calling him “Scotty,” and then every time he was introduced to a new person, they would be like “Oh, are you Scottish? My uncle was Scottish!”

And finally, he just gets sick of explaining the situation, so he starts replying with “aye, laddie!” But then it turns out that the person he said that to was Captain Kirk, and he doesn’t want to admit that he lied to his new commanding officer, so he has to keep speaking in a ridiculously over-the-top brogue and commenting constantly on how much he loves drinking Scotch, and by the time that he realises that Kirk would have found humour in the situation, he’s in too deep and can’t stop pretending, and it gradually just becomes his normal speech pattern.

Then, years later, the Enterprise is being inspected by a Starfleet engineer who’s actually Scottish, and Scotty takes him on a walking tour of his warp engines and is all like “Auch! Here be me wee bairns!” and the other engineer is just like “what the fuck is wrong with you?”

I take the fact that James Doohan is Canadian as evidence of this theory.

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Please appreciate the absolute clownery that is this fight scene

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*shoulder checks you with our cars*

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except that vanta black bogarting scum

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school essay

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that last shot... i can't take this right after the color oracle

forgive me for sending tweet screenshots but i thought you’d enjoy

AMAZING THREAD

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Karen goes to the doctor not feeling well. Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately. .

Doctor: I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news.

Karen: Don’t give me this lab nonsense. I believe in homeopathic medicine, faith-based approaches and healing crystals. All my life, they have never failed me. Now will you do things my way or do I need to see the manager?!?

Doctor: Sure, we’ll do things your way. No need to raise your temper. Why don’t we try an astrology based approach?

Karen: At last a sensible approach.

Doctor: So, what’s your star sign?

Karen: it’s cancer.

Doctor: Well what a fucking coincidence.

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this feels like what staring at biblically accurate angel would be like

Bad Vibes

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i just think more 30-40 year old men should be more whorish. act your age for once.

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Do non-americans realize that the United States is literally just a bunch of countries in a trench coat that agreed to be semi-nice to each other in order to sneak into the Big Boy Club? Because let’s be honest that’s just what the USA is

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Paw bump

(via)

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tumblr is arguing with the dictionary on twitter

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The Mad Catter

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also could you get those reports on my desk first thing tomorrow morning?

thanks

oh yeah slather me with you wolfy tongue and make my ass QUAKE!!