emotional-strawberry

[emotional-strawberry]

#9 : 11th March 2021

I'm back into depressive mode again and I'm so sick of it again. 😢😢😢

Relationship: When you placed someone as your number 1st in your heart, your expectations for your partner will be higher. Been trying to lower my expectations again and again for her, but this is beyond what I can absorb. Why? He told me that she loved her ex ex ex ex girlfriend more than me and I ranked #2 in his heart. I know ranking isn't important in our relationship, but I really devastated to know the truth. I really don't mind he loved his lastest ex girlfriend because they had a 10 years relationship, but unfortunately that isn't a case. They said truth hurts, but I'll rather be slapped by the lies. The look in your face when I asked for her name... PEARLYN...

I started self harm again... 😢😢😢

[emotional-strawberry]

#8: 5th March 2021

Exactly 2 more hours before my mentally and physically exhausted night shift ends. I'm so looking forward to spend my off day with you. ❤️💋

[emotional-strawberry]

#7: 4th March 2021

For the past 3 years working in the event industry as a Balloon Sculpturist, Face Painter, Magician, Game Hosting, Party Planner and etc, I really love my job to the core because I can bring joy to others especially kids. I know how hard it can be surviving in this world, therefore I want to use my capabilities to make others happy. Definitely didn't earn much and its tiring to take public transport wherever I go. Once Covid started and as a freelancer, I had $0.00 income.

After so long being self employed, it's really hard for me to step out of the comfort zone and be employed. However, I managed to step into another industry as a Health Care Worker.

Have you been so mentally and physically drained before? I'm so exhausted till the point I almost fainted while on my way to work.

Counting down to one more night of night shift. 😢😢😢

[emotional-strawberry]

#6: 3rd March 2020

Being straight for 29 years of my life,

It'll be tough for my family to accept,

But I'm so grateful that I've found you.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[emotional-strawberry]

Been in different working industries and environment, I knew that I'm a person that love challenges and different daily job scopes. I am unable to be seated to read emails from 830am to 530pm. When Covid started, I volunteer myself as a swabber and perform covid tests when necessary. Now, I'm a health care worker working in hospital. No words can describe how challenging my current job is. Especially when you're working shifts and you're constantly lack of sleep. Finally today is my last night shift assignment and I'll be rewarded with 1 sleeping day with 2 off days. 6.5 more hours to go, I can do it! 😊❤️

[emotional-strawberry]

After so many days of feeling depressed, unsure if is my antidepressants helps or time heals all wounds or it's the power of love from my partner. Oh yes, did I mention that I'm actually bisexual and my partner is actually a female? Love have no genders and I'm proud to be a part of LGBT group.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[emotional-strawberry]

"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." I've been suicidal and attempted twice in my life due to whatever reason(s), this is the quote that I've been relying on till today. I've been suppressing my emotions of stress since December'20. Yesterday was the day that I finally had a mental break down and I cried so badly in public transport all the way home. I'm definitely not proud of how I behave, but this is pretty much needed at that point of time. Sincerely hope tomorrow will be better. 😥😥😥

[emotional-strawberry]

I'm so afraid just to be "happy", because every single time I'm happy and contented, I'll be hit by something hard and dragged me to square one. Many people tend to forget I'm a human with feelings too, why they're treating me in this way? Do I really deserve to be happy too? 😥😥😥

[emotional-strawberry]

The higher expectations that you have in a relationship, the higher disappointment that you'll face. I'm sorry that I expected you to be there when I'm really down, but I guess it's time to learn how to be more independent. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger right..? 😥😥😥