emofakn

[emofakn]

I gotta write this all out to the world so I can get it out of my fucking head

My best friend of literally 20 years ghosts me after my mom died

I spend months in this terrible phase of grieving my mom and having it all feel worse because I'm confused why my "best friend" would do this

I talk to my therapist about it, she tells me I don't have to wait for her to text me to make my feelings known. So I let her know that it hurt that she was absent and that I "officially" don't want to be friends. She responds within a minute and says she understands.

I do so much healing and actually am able to focus on grieving the loss of my mom and just seeing the rest of my support system as so positive!

Like 6 months go by and she tries to follow me on Instagram. I told her I'm open to talking but I'm not gonna have a casual friendship with her at this time. She agrees and says she wants to talk as well

I don't hear from her for a few days, and in those few days I'm filled with just absolute dread and I'm realizing this isn't something I want to feel. So I texted her and let her know I'm not interested anymore because I am just not in a good place to talk. She sends me an extremely aggressive text back letting me know I should "know better" that she doesn't handle things like "normal people" and she genuinely doesn't understand what she's done wrong. She says if she's really such a fuck up that I won't sit and talk with her, then she won't even try anymore. Also ends the text with a "thanks anyway".

That shit hurts but it felt good to stand up for my feelings and boundaries.

Ok so that was like 6 months ago now at this point and now her boyfriend is texting me asking how I am and what I'm up to. I answered him normally because I want to know his motives and he just leaves me on read and now I'm like why even text me?? Why keep bringing these feelings back up for me. It feels awful

[emofakn]

[emofakn]

alternatives to “i want to die”:

i want things to change

i want a different life

today was a shitty day/week

i don’t want to live like this

i want to be somewhere else in life

i’m not where i want to be yet

+ much more

[emofakn]

little things to feel softer

Being kind to mean people

Teas with honey and sleeping early

A fun collection of cute mugs from little antique stores

Pearls and dainty jewellery

Buying flowers for yourself or a loved one, not just on special occasions.

being kind just because you want to, with no hidden motives, just genuine kindness

Reading and writing poetry

Self-care nights and long bubble baths

Going to the farmer's market to buy fresh fruits

No phone in the morning

Paying attention to the little things: changing seasons, moon phases, blooming flowers, etc...

Calm hobbies like painting, knitting, reading, baking

Matcha and tea over coffee

Being kind to stray animals and befriending them

Sending handwritten letters to your friends

Try cooking from scratch, make some jam, maybe attempt a sourdough... (nara smith my queen)

Flower prints and sundresses

Lacy tops and light colours

Taking time to appreciate art, listen to music, visit museums and art exhibitions, go to concerts, the theatre, cinema, etc..

Wearing only natural fabrics

Vanilla scented EVERYTHING

not sure how I feel about the title, but this all leans into the "softer/calmer life" thing; you guys get me lol. <3

As always, please feel free to share your own suggestions and tips in the comments!! ♡

love ya ･:*₊‧౨ৎ

[emofakn]

[emofakn]

[emofakn]

things you do to stay healthy and grounded?

take vitamins

eat nutritious foods

warm water with lemon and chia seeds

drink shots of turmeric

fast for 16 hours, first meal at 10am, last meal at 6pm

no snacking! (raises insulin)

home cooked meals

meal prep

exercise / weight lifting

get enough sleep in

stay hydrated

vitamin D!! go on a walk outside, catch some sunlight

to stay grounded I like to listen to podcasts and read books on health & wellness. jay shetty is one of my favorites

journaling and praying always helps too

[emofakn]

sometimes u just gotta wish a mf the best & never talk to them again

[emofakn]

me when the disorder that I have that is literally a disability makes me unable to do certain things

[emofakn]

[emofakn]

i know dearly that many of my mutuals are musicians so i hope this one breaches containment cause i really want to know the wider tumblr scope on this one

[emofakn]

when you thought you were special 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

[emofakn]

Definitely, it does something to my spirit as well 💗

[emofakn]

so much of being an ok person is just 1) not panicking, 2) not taking things personally, and 3) not letting the vindictive gargoyle that lives in your head tell you what to do. this sucks because brains love doing those things

[emofakn]

Rest in Peace, Andre Braugher.

[emofakn]

If you're seeing this, it's a sign to claim your energy ✨️ hit like & claim your manifestations ☆

[emofakn]

Everyone's so upset about what's going on on my normal and functional space ship.