emmmajeanstone

[emmmajeanstone]

I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

Augusten Burroughs, Magical Thinking: True Stories  (via wordsnquotes)

[emmmajeanstone]

we don’t get out very much, we don’t get out very much i’m afraid were loosing touch with our balled up little crowd when we get out and get drunk and we get high and don’t talk we just walk and walk and walk until we find ourselves alone but at least we’ve got each other

[emmmajeanstone]

Emma kept her arms around his neck as they broke apart. She analyzed the face she knew all too well. As much as her own. More even. The photo’s she had on her cell of them both was never far from her sight, especially when he was gone. They became more of a comfort blanket to her before she went to sleep. Them, and Eisenstone of course. “I kinda missed you, goofy.” She teased, turning around and walking towards her car with her arms still around his shoulders.

The curious onlookers didn’t seem to bother her. In fact, she’d forgotten everything except Jesse. After a quick glance around, she slid her arms away. Just incase Jesse felt slightly uncomfortable. She knew him really well by this point to know what made him feel a little uneasy. Not being able to completely let him go all together, she kept her hands on the closest hand of his to her as they walked.

“Cats are alive. They miss you a lot. I mean- I missed you more of course.” She smirked, glancing up at him and giving him a quick wink. “I rearranged the dining room-” She hesitated for a second. “Well, Hallie did.” She shook her head with a laugh. “Does she know you’re home? She said I had to tell her if you didn’t because her and your parents wanted to come for dinner.” Giving him a look, she hoped he read the expression. 

Maybe tomorrow- She said with her eyes.

I want just us tonight.

As they got to the car, Emma helped load the suitcases in the trunk and got in the car and started their journey home. “Do you know what’s happening in two months?” She said, one hand on the wheel, the other in her hair, glancing over to him. “Our one year. Not including the break of course. But one whole year since we were in the bounce house and ball pit and we kissed.” She raised her eyebrows quickly. “God-” She said as a breath. “Do I get a medal or something for putting up with you all this time?” She teased with a small smirk.

The World That I Wanted || Eisenstone

[emmmajeanstone]

“I was a garden and you were the flowers that made me beautiful.”

em (via nosmilk)

[emmmajeanstone]

Let’s stay up together and talk about how badly you fucked up today.

Insomnia (via theda-almighty)

[emmmajeanstone]

[emmmajeanstone]

[emmmajeanstone]

The World That I Wanted || Eisenstone

Three months was such a long time. Though, given everything they had been through, it was the calmest few months they’d had in a long time. The break up, the rehab, moving in- moving out- moving back in, it was a lot in a short space off time. She only wished it were as calm but with him not working so much. Of course, she didn’t grumble. It’s what they both did. She just missed him.

Jesse brought his cats to move into the apartment with him, so while he was away, at least she had some company. Though they seemed a lot more aloof with her than normal she noticed as she was stroking one sat on the sofa with some daytime show on on the background. “Do you miss your daddy?” She asked stroking from the top of it’s head to the tip of it’s tail. That stroke seemed like one too much, and she was off the sofa and out the door before Emma could even grumble.

Thankfully, her phone buzzed and her mood completely changed seeing it was Jesse that was flashing up in front of a cheesy photo of the two of them as the background. Emma made a mental note to change that as she answered the call and paced as they spoke.

“I’m actually at the airport trying to grab a cab or something resembling a means of transport.”

Her smile grew wider as she leaned on the back windowsill which looked over their garden. After muttering something about the shed she was attempting to build- but had the murder scene evidence right in front of her eyes, so quickly got off the subject- She offered to pick him up in the truck her dad lent her for moving thing for the shed. Emma made another mental note to give the truck back too. She’d call someone in to build the shed. She’d done more damage than good by now.

Clicking off the phone, she grabbed the keys to the car, and bent down to stroke Jesse’s cat again. “Dad’s coming home!” Her excitement burst as she made a noise and skipped quickly down the stairs and into the truck. Thankfully, the airport wasn’t too far away. It was just a pain in the ass with traffic, but still not worth the walk. Digging through the drivers side pocket for a certain cassette since the car didn’t have a CD port or AUX leads, she pulled out Spice Girls. The only one she kept from childhood that was actually hers. Putting in it, she sang along loud with the windows down going- Tops- 30 miles an hour behind traffic.

Finally, she reached the airport. Parking as close as she could, she hopped out the car and started lightly jogging over to the doors. Before she got there, she was the signs of curly hair, lost expressions and a few people around him like flies. As they left, she ran over to him again, locking eyes before throwing her arms around his neck and holding him for a minute before pulling back to kiss his lips lightly. “Hi Snowflake.”

[emmmajeanstone]

You’re adorable. Wait, you’re coming home? Do you want me to pick you up? I have my dads old truck because I’m trying to build a shed but- Well that’s a different story. I can come now if you want?

I do try. Well, that’s always good to know. You’re also worth every second, sunshine. I’m actually at the airport trying to grab a cab or something resembling a means of transport. I miss you too.

[emmmajeanstone]

You certainly know the way to my heart, Jesse. Don’t worry, I happen to think you’re worth every second. Are you coming home soon? I sort of miss you, you know.

There’s no such thing as too much lurking, Emma. Oh, I hope it wasn’t a worthless wait, then. I know, I guess it comes with the genes. I’ll make it up to you both.

[emmmajeanstone]

Lurking too far away, in my humble opinion. Well I’ve been waiting for you all my miserable life, obviously. You almost missed Eisenstone’s half birthday. That would have been tragic as a father.

Right? Who knows? Oh, hello. Well, I’ve probably been lurking. I’m quite good at that. Or just at home, y’know… with the cats. How about you? Where have you been all my miserable life?

[emmmajeanstone]

I’m getting the impression there’s something private about your filming. I don’t know where I got that from. Hey there, handsome. Where you been all my miserable life?

Three months, already? Wow, time flies when one is… uhm–filming in an underground area somewhere to keep very private filming… private. Who knew superhero movies were so… secretive?

[emmmajeanstone]

Emma loved when Jesse called her Sunshine. She wasn’t entirely sure quite why, but it always seemed fitting. Scrunching up her nose and tilting her head to the side slightly, she came across shy. “Look at you making me all red and gross again.” She said teasingly, pursing her lips slightly. If there was one thing Emma was sure of, it was that years and years could pass, and she’d still get butterflies with him. He aways had a way of making her feel like a teenager with a crush.  Maybe that’s what love was. Never losing that feeling.

The red head never replied to his comment about him working on being perfect. To her, he always was. And would never fall short of. Sure the months had been hard, but she would never deny her love for him. And all the things it was made of. Even if she was to never feel it or see it again. She continued to stroke his cheek with her thumb as she gazed into the eyes she didn’t know would ever look at her like that again.

As they sat on their couch, she sighed. It was perfect. And she felt a calmness she hadn’t felt in so long. A drained, content, excited calmness that she didn’t know how to react to. Luckily, Jesse seemed to have it together a lot more than she did. “Talking is perfect.” She tilted her head to look up at him as he gazed around the room after her question. His smile was genuine and beautiful. It made her smile even bigger.

Laughing at his comment, she nodded slowly. “It was completely torturous.” She agreed. “Well, for you. You did all the hard parts, I basically just drew on the walls until they were covered.” She admitted with a small shrug. “Picking furniture was fun too. Running around Ikea like we owned the whole damn store.” Her face crumpled slightly as she thought back. In retrospect, maybe laying in every bed when they already had a bed wasn’t the most mature. “What’s your favorite memories? Of the apartment. Of us?”

Near Wild Heaven || Eisenstone

[emmmajeanstone]

“Oh God.” She said in a sigh, waiting for the inevitable. She knew Hallie would have been mad at her. In fact, she expected the brunette to hate her. From the outside, she was sure it looked like Jesse went to rehab and Emma gave up on him. She didn’t have the heart to call and explain. Mostly because talking about the whole thing just broke her heart a little more. And she saw Jesse in Hallie which would have made everything even harder. “I miss her a lot. Maybe we should visit her or something.”  

Nothing seemed too weird or uncomfortable or hard now she was with Jesse again. With him by her side, she knew she could take on the world. She invited it. “I missed that smile.” She said with a small pout as she tapped the end of his nose with her finger. That smile that could make her do anything the words came out of it asked with zero hesitation. In all honesty, she missed her own too. It was hard to really smile without him.

Her grin widened as he took Eisenstone and played with him in his hands. It almost looked like he saw in it what she was searching from it the months they were apart. “He did a pretty good job protecting me, actually.” She admitted, looking at it as she spoke. “Not as good as you, but decent enough.” She shrugged sarcastically with the small smile still glued to her face. Bringing her hand to his cheek, she took in his every detail. With a long inhale and exhale she scrunched her nose up quickly. “You’re kind of perfect, you know that Eisenberg?”

Sitting back down on the sofa, she patted the space beside her for him to join. As he did, she wrapped her arm around his waist, laying her head on his shoulder. Her face hiding in the crook of his neck. “What do you want to do?” She asked quietly to not ruin the perfect moment. “Anything you want.” Though she did hope whatever he wanted to do didn’t involve leaving the apartment. Which made her think of when they first moved in together. They more or less hibernated in the flat for a week or two. Moving him in, painting the rooms to how they wanted them to look, watching tv, spending all day in bed. It was perfect week. Her perfect week. A smile grew over her lips as she though. “Remember painting this room?” She asked, biting her lip to keep her from smiling any wider.

Near Wild Heaven || Eisenstone

[emmmajeanstone]

Closing her eyes, she took him in. Everything. His love, his pain, his fears and doubts. His bravery that she was so proud of him for. Not many people would have the confidence to scrap themselves to build again with different blueprints. She knew she wouldn't. But he did, and by God, she loved him for that. Along with a million other reasons. Right in that moment, it was his arms around her like nothing and nobody could hurt her because he was there. If she could have lived forever in that feeling, she would.

Hearing him say he loved her, it gave her butterflies. Like it had every single time before that. He had a unique and beautiful way about him. Like a snowflake. Like her snowflake. "I absolutely want you to stay here." She answered. "More than anything I want you with me again." Pulling back slightly so she could look at him properly with a silly little smile she couldn't wipe off her face, she tilted her head. "Now I can stop avoiding Hallie and your mom." She smirked a little wider. 

If there was any point in her life she felt like everything was okay, it was that moment. The one thing she silently clung to for months. Hope. Hope he was okay. Hope she would be. Hope he would come to her door and tell her everything she wanted to hear. And now, she was basking in it. Her eyebrows raised and her mouth dropped slightly. "Wait here." She pecked his lips and jogged to the bedroom to fetch something from the bed. His side of it, in fact.

When she returned, she held it behind her back. Only presenting it when she was right in front of him again. The black toy cat she got him in their first month together. "I kept Eisenstone. I found him in a drawer the week after you went to rehab. He sleeps with me now, actually." She admitted more proud than embarrassed. It was kind of a reminder of how in love they were and how silly they were with each other. "It's weird but, he kind of gave hope that we could be that in love again, you know?"

Near Wild Heaven || Eisenstone

[emmmajeanstone]

Emma let go of a breath she didn't realize she was holding when he told her she was everything he wanted. "Oh my God. That pause was not fair." She accused, letting out a small chuckle, quickly turning to emotion as she felt herself fight off tears again. Only this time, for a completely different reason. After a minute to herself, she shook her head and looked up at him, covering palming her forehead as she did so.

She took a minute to take it in. To take him in. His slightly awkward body language. His ocean-like eyes that could quite easily drown her and she wouldn't mind one second. Everything that she grew so used to. Every detail she adored more than anyone had loved anything. "I want you too." She managed to get out in a whisper, barely audible through the lump in her throat.

In her mind, that's all she needed to know. That he didn't stop loving her. That he still does. That's all that really mattered. Closing her eyes slowly, she inhaled and exhaled loud before taking a few steps forward and wrapping her arms around the boy she missed like a heartbeat, taking in his scent and aura. His arms wrapping around her like nobody had ever held her before. 

Emma planted slow kisses on his neck where her head lay as she held him as close to her as she possibly could. "Please don't leave again. It almost killed me." She whispered before looking at him with his head in her hands. "I love you. I love you." She repeated over and over keeping her forehead against his. "Can- I mean, do you want to stay here? If you want to of course. I just- I don't know. All your stuff is here, and I haven't slept properly since you left."

Near Wild Heaven || Eisenstone

[emmmajeanstone]

Whenever she said something to Jesse, or asked him something, she kind of already ran through what she wanted to hear from him. Her own expectations verses reality were a little different and it threw her. "I- I don't want to toss them." She said, almost guilty. I want you here with them. She wanted to say, but she couldn't find the courage to say what she felt. She was a little nervous to show she needed him, even though he's all she really needed anymore.

As he stood up and began pacing, she watched him closely, as if he was in school again and she should have been taking notes. Everything came out so fast, she only managed to really concentrate on the things that stuck her heart. Finally, she stood up, placing her hands on his upper arms to stop him moving, getting him to look in her eyes as she corrected him. "You are not a fuck up. You never have been, and I needed you regardless of the person you thought you were. I still do." She took a minute to plead with her eyes as she let him finish.

Finally letting go of him, she took a step back nodding. They briefly spoke about the meaning of the so-called break before he went to rehab, but it was better to get a clear understanding. "You need to understand that I love every single aspect of you. Every nervous, OCD, romantic, beautiful, messy side of you." She tilted her head slightly as her voice quietened down. "I'm glad you told me how you felt about the- The scare." She almost said baby. She wanted to say baby. It just wasn't real. Biting the inside of her cheek again, she somewhat closed her body tight. Crossing her leg around her other, folding her arms tight and raising her shoulders. She didn't want to ask, but it just came out.

He had to lose her to figure out what he wanted. She knew how that might have meant, and she knew how she felt it meant, and she sure as hell didn't want confirmation of it, but she couldn't stop it. "It's not me, is it? What you figured out you wanted. It- it's not me." Biting harder into her cheek to stop herself from tearing up again, she swayed side to side. Anything to stop the tears falling again. The last thing she wanted was to make him feel guilty.

Near Wild Heaven || Eisenstone