emeticheremetic

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lesbians love to present their attraction to women as this socially challenging thing but you look inside at the things they post its all conventionally attractive women who might have sparse leg hair or might have a pixie cut. its very funny

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many people conflate suffering with understanding when it is not. yes, that suffering can become understanding, but it is not in and of itself understanding. suffering primarily leads to pain, and that pain can far more easily become defensiveness, paranoia, the desire for retribution (which, if put into practice, is often misdirected), a refusal to cooperate or consider another's perspective, particularly if they have not suffered in the exact same way (or if one thinks they have not suffered in that way, more accurately.) just because one has suffered does not mean that one actually knows anything, though. if one has a narrow-minded, black-and-white, destructive view of the world, no one should take that seriously. demanding that everyone else abide by one's narrow-minded, black-and-white, destructive view of the world is the behavior of a religious zealot rather than a genius level society understander, regardless of how one perceives oneself to be and insists upon the idea that one is. understand that every bigot has stood in your shoes and acted upon the same impulses you are now acting upob, and though what they are hurt by is different from what you are hurt by, they have reacted in the same way, pushing back against constructive and positive cooperation and compromise out of fear. which is what you are doing.

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alas, i cant make this joke about this gender brain study thats going around. because of woke

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someone who argues that the totality of transmisogyny cannot be experienced simply because a transmasc is mistaken for a transfem due to how transmisogyny is systematized in a way that goes beyond how random people perceive you will also happily ignore the fact that misogyny is also systematized in a way that goes beyond the way random people perceive you. its almost ludicrous that we even have to have these discussions when we live in a world where the rights of people who are systemically speaking considered women due to their birth assignment are constantly on the verge of or currently being threatened if not dismantled. i do understand that the concept of "sex-based oppression" is almost entirely associated with terfs, but regardless of who it is associated with, it does indeed exist and very obviously so, and though trans women are also systemically oppressed for being women, it is through the association with and proximity to afabness that it happens, because afabness is conflated with womanhood. why should we cede these concepts to terfs and instead choose to deny the reality of the world? because it makes some people feel invalidated (which it shouldnt when brought up in contexts not intended to invalidate)? thats a very stupid reason to ignore things that very literally happen, and it hurts our credibility. it makes us seem like we're in a cult, or at least very stupid and ignorant. is it just that admitting that afab people are oppressed for having been afab makes some people feel as though that means automatically that they are not oppressed? because society has enough oppression to go around for everyone. grow the fuck up

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If you were a good person, you would simply tolerate constant insults for the privilege of Being On The Right Side. Also we don't have to do anything to convince outsiders we are the right side.

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i don't know why so many people are so bothered by bdsm when its so boring and lame

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always feels salient to remind people that "labor on demand at the lowest possible cost and fewest possible resources" is not just an incentive that exists for private companies!

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its cool when people allow themselves to be who they are, and yes, i understand the feelings strongly associated with the gender we self-identify with is a typically very positive experience for a trans person regardless of how capable the other gender is in experiencing these same feelings, but sometimes i do wonder if its healthy to think the desire to be soft and gentle is something that is unique to women in any way. i dont think anything is unique to women. men neither. we are literally all the same, exactly nothing actually separates us but the walls we put in place to convince ourselves there is an inherent difference between us. i know its fun to play gender, but its really not that serious. yes, there are some of us who want strongly to change our bodies, and I think we should be allowed to do that. but why care the veracity of it all. why allow yourself feelings only in the context of the gender you and not merely as a person? we are all capable of feeling the same things and wanting the same things. the ultimate narcissism of small differences is binary gender

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damn bitch you really live like this?

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Who’s ready to be scolded and scapegoated for the Democrats running a terrible campaign for the next 4+ years

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i love that a terf can pretend that events happened in an order that they very obviously did not or are related in any way when they clearly are not and other terfs, who have been obsessed with this shit for years and have been there through all of it and should know better, are like wow so true bestie. keep telling yourself youre anything but a disingenuous malconent with no principles

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Seeing a post about "tme people just want to look like freaks who can't pass on purpose to make my tma life harder and make me be misgendered by your existence" with thousands of notes is wild. You fuckers hate intersex people, huh? You really, really hate us. It must be so hard to be in a limbo state where your hormones make your body look like mine for a bit, huh? TMA ppl have it sooooo hard because intersex freaks like me naturally exist and are asking y'all to consider our existence. What is this fucking discourse even and why was it reblogged onto my dash by someone I follow. Why the fuck do you think you have it worse than people like me who naturally look like what you're terrified to look like? Who naturally, without added hormones, look the way you're MOCKING? Fucking foul, disgusting behavior.

It's insane how every single day I see some shit from trans people openly, deliberately being INTERSEXIST but bc its directed at trans men, it's fine!!! (It's not fine to do that to trans men either fucking freaks) We don't need to consider intersex existence at all! It's more important to insist all trans men are nasty demons here to make life harder for trans women! Us intersex people get to sit here and watch yall rip yourselves apart while we've been drowning in sewage for decades. Fuck this. We will never survive.

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this also does presuppose the idea that all trans people feel the same way about their relationship to gender-motivated socialization (or SHOULD feel about it), which we dont (and shouldnt have to). while my own childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood prior to coming out and transitioning are largely identical to those reported by the trans women who dismiss gendered socialization outright as compared to the "i used to be a girl and i was socialized as a girl" reports of some transmascs and often i do in fact find these statements quite alienating, as with most of the alienation i experience within the trans community (which is a lot, from basically every direction), i simply chalk it up to, you know, people just being different from me and it not having to be a big deal. what someone says about themself and their life does not necessarily have to say anything about me and my life, even if i can run the statement through a converter in my brain that assumes statements that the person is most likely not trying to make and does not believe. it is not worth my time to attack people on account of my own paranoid thoughts

"of course trans men are the ones reclaiming the idea of socialization because it isnt used to exclude them" erm yes it is lmao the only thing its not used to exclude them from is womanhood which they should not be included in

as ever, the nuances of whats even being said are completely sanded down into nothingness and made to describe a shallow and stupid sociologically inept and ignorant statement that exists for trans men to be lazy about describing their lives.

okay sure, theres no actual universal "female socialization" that is internalized by everyone with a vagina and vice versa, but i dont think thats actually what trans men are actually arguing? i think theyre saying "the way people treated me and the things they encouraged/forced me to do were motivated by my assigned gender at birth, which does potentially affect my behavior even now-- although not necessarily in the way it was intended to, as clearly i am not the thing that society wanted me to be"

the process of gendered socialization just does exist. i think the problem is that we're folding the idea of socialization as external pressures from the society around you to attempt to make you act like the gender you were assigned into the idea of being socialized successfully as that thing when actually it is our struggle with this socialization that should motivate us to a fight for a world where children (and all people, to be honest) are not subjected to these gender-motivated pressures, as varied and individually specific as they may be. it mystifies me when trans women speak of the abuse they suffered growing up for not performing masculinity in accordance with gendered social expectations as though it disproves that they were subjected to male socialization when that abuse IS male socialization. does that mean they are "male sociailized" in some uniform way that precludes them from being capable of being women? well, i dont think so, what with them coming out the other side being a woman lol

i do feel as though by denying the concept of gendered socialization as a whole, we lend credence to the idea that being subjected to the external efforts of society to enforce gender upon us is actually a legitimate grounds for exclusion from the gender we identify as, which it is not and should not be. by rejecting the concept of socialization as inherently invalidating, we only reinforce the idea that socialization is invalidating to people who have an extremely simplified and inadequate view of the process that is regressive and damaging. it also makes us look, well, a bit stupid and in denial of obvious facts of reality when they are inconvenient to the narrative of our lives, which further enforces the idea that we are delusional morons who dont actually have a leg to stand on, even though i personally think that the reasons behind why we as a community often reject the idea outright are completely understandable from the perspective of a desperation to be accepted as the thing that we are as opposed to the thing we were intended to be, because the way that terfs frame socialization as some inexcapable, immutable fact of life that permanently makes us be the gender we were raised is absolutely not an accurate description of what socialization is, nor does it represent the variety of of outcomes despite the efforts that are made

but we should not fear socialization as a concept. in fact, it is in butting up against the external pressures of socialization that the transness of our gender can be understood and, in some cases, detected by others and potentially allowed to exist even in childhood in the first place. this socialization often induces dysphoria and can be incredibly traumatic! it is not a positive thing that teaches trans women how to be ceos and political leaders and to take up space and be loud and demanding in a way that only men are or any of that dumb bullshit-- it is a traumatic experience that punishes trans girls for being girls instead of being boys.

i would also argue that gendered socialization under the cisheteropatriarchy is based in oppositional sexism, and as a result, we are simultaneously exposed the pressures to conform to our own assigned gender as well as the pressures to judge other people on the basis of how well they conform to their assigned gender. in this way, even children are made into agents of gendered socialization and act as police, punishing those who do not conform-- but, at the same time, this exposure to these notions of what the "other" is meant to be, trans people often absorb and internalize this messaging instead of the one intended for us, even if we arent fully cognizant of that at the time. after all, if you are not raised in a totally sex-segregated environment where you are kept from knowing of the very concept of a different gender from the one you were assigned exists (which i dont think really happens to anyone outside of perhaps the realm of science fiction and fantasy?), you are exposed, on some level, to the gender-motivated socialization that is intended specifically for them. this is how we end up with, for example, gay trans people internalizing homophobia about our attractions even when we are pre-realized and not really understanding why we feel the way we do. all people, including cis people, experience this dual, oppositionally defined gender socialization, and this is because the intent of this socialization is, in the end, to foster a mentality wherein cisheterosexual reproduction is the eventual and only acceptable outcome, and anything else is tantamount to destruction.

and we are that destruction of cisheteropatriarchal expectations personified, because the socialization doesn't work the way its supposed to, and we internalize the "wrong" messages or are extremely critical of the system of enforced gender-motivated socialization because of the way it has harmed us and is continually used to harm us. the hatred directed at trans people is inextricably link to our defiance in the face of this gender-motivated socialization and how cis people internalize that dual socialization themselves. the things they believe about socialization as it relates to trans people are inextricably linked to the socialization that they themselves were subjected to that pressured them to percieve the other in a particular way. so by dismissing the concept of gendered socialization entirely-- or rather, gender-motivated socialization, which i think is a better description for this phenomenon-- we deny ourselves the ability to criticize the ways on which that gender-motivated socialization is internalized by cis people in a way that directly harms us. would cis women fear trans women as much if the cis women were not socialized with a concept of maleness (or "maleness" as the case may be) that is inherently dangerous to them? i really don't think so. this is as much a part of gender-motivated socialization as is the pressure for cis women to wear makeup and shave their legs (ideas that, shocker, also affect trans women because of this simultaneous socialization.)

socialization also does not begin and end in childhood. we are still being socialized in a gender-motivated way at every stage of our life. before, during, and after self-realization, identification, transition, and gender embodiment as trans people. the gaps that may exist in our expected behavior as the gender we are are filled in with the understanding that comes with personal experience, and our opinions on gendered pressures we were taught were the sole purvue of the other change and evolve-- which is not to say we somehow all become perfect gender conforming little angels who perfectly perform gender in line with cis people because of this continued socialization, but that, through personal experience, we gain knowledge just as anyone else would.

in my opinion, children should not be raised with this gender-motivated socialization at all. its demonstrably harmful for literally everyone, both in the way that it enforces arbitrary beliefs about gender upon an individual themself, but also that it enforces arbitrary beliefs about gender upon everyone else within the mind of that individual. and im not going to deny that trans people can't come out of gender-motivated socialization with terrible ideas about gender, but this is hardly exclusive to trans people, nor can it be linked directly to any particular gender identity.

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"of course trans men are the ones reclaiming the idea of socialization because it isnt used to exclude them" erm yes it is lmao the only thing its not used to exclude them from is womanhood which they should not be included in

as ever, the nuances of whats even being said are completely sanded down into nothingness and made to describe a shallow and stupid sociologically inept and ignorant statement that exists for trans men to be lazy about describing their lives.

okay sure, theres no actual universal "female socialization" that is internalized by everyone with a vagina and vice versa, but i dont think thats actually what trans men are actually arguing? i think theyre saying "the way people treated me and the things they encouraged/forced me to do were motivated by my assigned gender at birth, which does potentially affect my behavior even now-- although not necessarily in the way it was intended to, as clearly i am not the thing that society wanted me to be"

the process of gendered socialization just does exist. i think the problem is that we're folding the idea of socialization as external pressures from the society around you to attempt to make you act like the gender you were assigned into the idea of being socialized successfully as that thing when actually it is our struggle with this socialization that should motivate us to a fight for a world where children (and all people, to be honest) are not subjected to these gender-motivated pressures, as varied and individually specific as they may be. it mystifies me when trans women speak of the abuse they suffered growing up for not performing masculinity in accordance with gendered social expectations as though it disproves that they were subjected to male socialization when that abuse IS male socialization. does that mean they are "male sociailized" in some uniform way that precludes them from being capable of being women? well, i dont think so, what with them coming out the other side being a woman lol

i do feel as though by denying the concept of gendered socialization as a whole, we lend credence to the idea that being subjected to the external efforts of society to enforce gender upon us is actually a legitimate grounds for exclusion from the gender we identify as, which it is not and should not be. by rejecting the concept of socialization as inherently invalidating, we only reinforce the idea that socialization is invalidating to people who have an extremely simplified and inadequate view of the process that is regressive and damaging. it also makes us look, well, a bit stupid and in denial of obvious facts of reality when they are inconvenient to the narrative of our lives, which further enforces the idea that we are delusional morons who dont actually have a leg to stand on, even though i personally think that the reasons behind why we as a community often reject the idea outright are completely understandable from the perspective of a desperation to be accepted as the thing that we are as opposed to the thing we were intended to be, because the way that terfs frame socialization as some inexcapable, immutable fact of life that permanently makes us be the gender we were raised is absolutely not an accurate description of what socialization is, nor does it represent the variety of of outcomes despite the efforts that are made

but we should not fear socialization as a concept. in fact, it is in butting up against the external pressures of socialization that the transness of our gender can be understood and, in some cases, detected by others and potentially allowed to exist even in childhood in the first place. this socialization often induces dysphoria and can be incredibly traumatic! it is not a positive thing that teaches trans women how to be ceos and political leaders and to take up space and be loud and demanding in a way that only men are or any of that dumb bullshit-- it is a traumatic experience that punishes trans girls for being girls instead of being boys.

i would also argue that gendered socialization under the cisheteropatriarchy is based in oppositional sexism, and as a result, we are simultaneously exposed the pressures to conform to our own assigned gender as well as the pressures to judge other people on the basis of how well they conform to their assigned gender. in this way, even children are made into agents of gendered socialization and act as police, punishing those who do not conform-- but, at the same time, this exposure to these notions of what the "other" is meant to be, trans people often absorb and internalize this messaging instead of the one intended for us, even if we arent fully cognizant of that at the time. after all, if you are not raised in a totally sex-segregated environment where you are kept from knowing of the very concept of a different gender from the one you were assigned exists (which i dont think really happens to anyone outside of perhaps the realm of science fiction and fantasy?), you are exposed, on some level, to the gender-motivated socialization that is intended specifically for them. this is how we end up with, for example, gay trans people internalizing homophobia about our attractions even when we are pre-realized and not really understanding why we feel the way we do. all people, including cis people, experience this dual, oppositionally defined gender socialization, and this is because the intent of this socialization is, in the end, to foster a mentality wherein cisheterosexual reproduction is the eventual and only acceptable outcome, and anything else is tantamount to destruction.

and we are that destruction of cisheteropatriarchal expectations personified, because the socialization doesn't work the way its supposed to, and we internalize the "wrong" messages or are extremely critical of the system of enforced gender-motivated socialization because of the way it has harmed us and is continually used to harm us. the hatred directed at trans people is inextricably link to our defiance in the face of this gender-motivated socialization and how cis people internalize that dual socialization themselves. the things they believe about socialization as it relates to trans people are inextricably linked to the socialization that they themselves were subjected to that pressured them to percieve the other in a particular way. so by dismissing the concept of gendered socialization entirely-- or rather, gender-motivated socialization, which i think is a better description for this phenomenon-- we deny ourselves the ability to criticize the ways on which that gender-motivated socialization is internalized by cis people in a way that directly harms us. would cis women fear trans women as much if the cis women were not socialized with a concept of maleness (or "maleness" as the case may be) that is inherently dangerous to them? i really don't think so. this is as much a part of gender-motivated socialization as is the pressure for cis women to wear makeup and shave their legs (ideas that, shocker, also affect trans women because of this simultaneous socialization.)

socialization also does not begin and end in childhood. we are still being socialized in a gender-motivated way at every stage of our life. before, during, and after self-realization, identification, transition, and gender embodiment as trans people. the gaps that may exist in our expected behavior as the gender we are are filled in with the understanding that comes with personal experience, and our opinions on gendered pressures we were taught were the sole purvue of the other change and evolve-- which is not to say we somehow all become perfect gender conforming little angels who perfectly perform gender in line with cis people because of this continued socialization, but that, through personal experience, we gain knowledge just as anyone else would.

in my opinion, children should not be raised with this gender-motivated socialization at all. its demonstrably harmful for literally everyone, both in the way that it enforces arbitrary beliefs about gender upon an individual themself, but also that it enforces arbitrary beliefs about gender upon everyone else within the mind of that individual. and im not going to deny that trans people can't come out of gender-motivated socialization with terrible ideas about gender, but this is hardly exclusive to trans people, nor can it be linked directly to any particular gender identity.

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i feel like peoples understanding of the coercive nature of capitalism just goes completely out the window when they talk about the porn industry because i guess if you have anything critical to say about the CAPITALIST INSTITUTION that profits off the exploitation of workers who have no other option but to peform labor in order to survive on this bitch of an earth, then youre a swerf i guess. like i think sex work is fine. i think the institutions that surround sex work are just as terrible as any other institution, and thats why i think getting mad at individual sex workers for taking jobs that you dont approve of because of you personally find them uncomfortable and not the institution which incentivizes the production of such materials for consumers who do not give a fuck about the people who are providing the services they enjoy feels way, way more swerfy to me because youre scapegoating the employee for the decisions of the employer who has the power to decide who continues to be hired and fired and whether they ever work again, ignoring the wider capitalist context of the production of these works. why would you blame the sex worker for the actions of those who direct the sex work itself for their own personal financial gain? its so backwards and idiotic, i dont know how you can describe yourself as a leftist if you let your emotions override your values the second its something that makes you personally feel slighted, like that isnt the swerfs entire argument against sex work in the first place, because they feel slighted by the misogynistic objectification that is ultimately the central appeal of most pornography. of course this is the position that mostly only independent, self-employed sex workers take, getting angry at other sex workers for taking jobs they feel entitled to without realizing that those jobs were never, ever designed for them to take in the first place due to the consumer demands which inherently exclude them. petty bourgeois nonsense

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i do certainly understand being annoyed by the antics of so-called "theyfabs." they are annoying, because their form of transness feels like nothing. it requires the same level of commitment as a nickname, discardable at any time. that can be infuriating to be around sometimes. when you have to live your life in a way that genuinely risks your safety whenever you go outside, it feels like theyre allowed to do anything. it sucks. and then they want to lecture the rest of us about how terrible it is that we don't know how to include them because their identity is so concentrated in their feelings that they express with what often feels like ridiculous and childish analogies that ultimately mean nothing to anyone but them. but you know, regardless of how annoying they may be sometimes and how they constantly flaunt their ability to exist and be loved for their normal, digestible shape, they are trans people and we do need to trust them to report their own gender to us and their connection to us as trans people. we should try not to be so shitty towards them, or they may begin to have a point.

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we wouldnt be in a situation where we had things like "afab transfem" if it werent for the fact that we try to categorize nonbinary people in an entirely stupid way where we presume fem=amab and masc=afab when thats unbelievably dumb when it comes to nonbinary people who were afab and arent masculine at all, arent transitioning toward masculinity, often arent transitioning physically at all, and arent interested in being masculine, and the opposite is true of nonbinary people who were amab and arent feminine at all, arent transitioning toward femininity at all, often arent transitioning physically at all, and arent interested in being feminine. these people exist, and the terminology that binary trans people use in describing them is not working for them, so they choose words that they feel better describe them, because why would a trans and feminine person describe themselves as though they were somehow inherently masculine because of their asab and their transness. a lot of nonbinary people just do not care about this shit the same way. being nonbinary doesn't mean "having a complicated relationship with your gender but you are something specific at the end of the day," at least not always. there are a lot of nonbinary people who are like, "no. im just not a gender in a way that can be understood as existing at all within the gender binary." so i kind of think it is binary trans peoples fault for using this terminology for people even when it doesnt apply to them, under the assumption that this descriptor is inherently real in some way or means anything about the person, lmao