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I just think it’s Great that pretty much every character in the Cosmere, when interacting with Hoid, has a tingle in the back of their brain that something is Wrong here. Sometimes explicit, sometimes only shown in that he’s mentioned in the text at all, and therefore noticed more than he should be, but always there. A tiny tingle reminiscent of a prey animal’s fight-or-flight instinct, but it’s not quite that, it’s just…something is Strange. Something is Out of Place, and their tiny lizard brains know it, whether they’re talking with the King’s particularly annoying Wit or some random beggar in some random town.

Every character, that is, except Shallan Davar, who sees him and is like, “OH THANK HERALDS, AN ADULT WHO BOTH UNDERSTANDS AND SUPPORTS ME,” to which Hoid is like, “…I’m sorry, what.”

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reblog to burn this glyphward for Adolin Kholin’s mental, physical, and emotional well-being 🔥📜

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HI IM SHALLAN DAVAR AND WELCOME TO JACKASS *slams 10 shots and stabs myself in the hand*

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Signs as Stormlight Archive Characters

Aries: Lift

Taurus: Eshonai

Gemini: Renarin

Cancer: Shallan

Leo: Adolin

Virgo: Jasnah

Libra: Kaladin

Scorpio: Navani

Sagittarius: Rysn

Capricorn: Dalinar

Aquarius: Lopen

Pisces: Szeth

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Oathbringer read ahead spoilers (kinda)

I’m simultaneously 0% and 100% ready for Jasnah to turn up at the end of chapter 35 and everyone has to wait to get their hardcopy to find out Wtf is going on

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Yikes™

AU where Tien was very badly injured but not killed. But Kaladin didn’t know so when he threw himself into learning the spear and getting promoted elsewhere Tien was actually still alive in one of the hospital tents, barely conscious, his face too heavily bandaged for anyone to recognise him.

After Amaram betrays Kaladin and ships him off as a slave he goes wandering through the hospital tent, and sees Tien, who he doesn’t recognise but reminds him of that boy he enslaved, so in a mixture of repressed guilt and the whole ‘must have the best reputation ever!’ thing he takes Tien under his wing as his…runner? Pageboy? Tien heals, and mourns Kaladin who he thinks is dead, and blossoms under Amaram’s guidance and becomes fairly important (as important as a darkeyes can be) in the house, like in charge of the messengers or something, and basically looks up to Amaram as a replacement for the brother he lost.

Cue Kaladin meeting Tien again on the Shattered Plains.

Tien. Who doesn’t recognise this slave (brands and premature aging from trauma will do that) and barely believes it is him.

Tien. Who thinks Amaram is the best thing ever.

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Advice

Summary: In which Adolin asks Zahel for some advice. Stormshot. Oathbringer Spoilers.

—

Nestled at a table in the back of the makeshift library the Ardents had set up upon their arrival in Urithiru, Zahel was doing something he hadn’t truly done in years: research. The return of the Knights Radiant had inspired him, Kaladin glowing with Stormlight as he flew above the camp, Shardblade in hand. That girl activating the fabrial with her Shardblade. Dalinar bonding Stormfather, the largest remnant of Honor himself. Renarin healing Adolin’s wrist…

All of those events amounted to a clue on how he might unlock that same power for Awakening. He just hadn’t figured out exactly what that clue was, yet.

In his fist, he held an diamond broam that he had hidden from the others, only a few strains of light escaping through his thick fingers. His eyes focused on it, though he could sense it just as well with them close, for it was brimming with Investiture.

“Your Light to mine,” he said, speaking the words in his native tongue. Stormlight flooded forth, flowing towards him as a vapor. Zahel breathed. That part had always been easy.

This next part, however, wasn’t. He’d never been able to get it to work. Still, perhaps the fabrial he had “borrowed” could help him, or so he hoped. Through its captured spren, it created an artificial Connection - or bond, to use the local parlance -

Someone was standing behind him.

Damn.

Why couldn’t those stupid ardents listen to him when he said he didn’t want to be disturbed? Well, he thought, I can always scare them away again…

“Yeah?” A puff of Light escaped his lips as he spoke. He shut his mouth tight once more and clamped his nose between thumb and forefinger, it wouldn’t do to leak more Stormlight than he had to.

The person jumped. “Uh…, ummm, Master?” Damnation, it was Adolin. Zahel stuffed the small straw figure under the table. Sure, he saw the young man as his own grandson, but like any grandchild, Adolin could be awfully annoying sometimes. “Storms. How do you always do that?”

Zahel drew out a long sigh, the rest of his Stormlight escaping in a fine mist. Stupid leaky Investiture. He’d have to work on this later. At least he had some more spheres which he had managed to charge in that unexpected Highstorm. Unfortunately, he couldn’t just scare a princeling away and get back to work.

Why was he so much more grumpy of late? Perhaps it was related to that new Storm…

“I have good ears.”

“Wait…,” the boy jogged up beside his chair, hovering over him like a teacher spying on some poor student as they did coursework. “Was that Stormlight?”

Shit.

“Your eyes are tricking you, boy.”

“But…I could’ve sworn…,” he said. “You’re not another hidden Knight Radiant, right?”

Zahel snorted, waving a dismissive hand at that stupid suggestion. He’d rather eat crem than bond with a spren. “I won’t go flying off with your Stormlight.”

“Just thought I would ask,” he said, still staring at where the vaporous Investiture had vanished. “You know, you’re pretty weird, Zahel.”

“Not every shade of blue is a green.“ That didn’t sound right. Did they even have a word for teal?

“What?” Adolin asked. “Green isn’t blue. That’s ridiculous.”

“Damnation language,” he muttered. Adolin grinned, a part of the boy had always liked it when Alethi fouled him up and made him spout something ridiculous. Hallandran had a name for nearly every color known to man, the Alethi only had a few scant words to describe the whole set. It was terrible. Instead of sounding old and wise, he came off sounding like a colorblind idiot. “You know what I mean, how many of these fools do you think are broken enough to get a spren to bond with them?”

“Broken?” he asked. “What does that have to do with becoming a Radiant?”

Zahel grunted. Why was he talking about this kind of thing with Adolin Kholin? He was a fine lad, but he didn’t know a thing about Investiture or the finer workings of the cosmere. Adolin wasn’t his cousin. Jasnah was a smart woman, pity that red-haired girl said she was dead.

Zahel wasn’t sure he believed that, though. Kholins were hard to kill, and if the rumors he had heard were true, she had been a Radiant, too. Probably just faked it, somehow, he thought.

“What did you want, kid?”

“I’m…ah…I started training Shallan with the sword,” he began, nervously shuffling his feet, “and I was hoping for some advice.”

The boy blushed. Great. Not only did he have to deal with that new, pesky storm, it seemed the boy had finally became a man.

“Son,” Zahel said, turning around fully in his chair. “I know you like the girl, but having heirs early i-”

“Wah…what?

Or not. Thank Colors. He didn’t want to have that conversation with Adolin. Let Dalinar deal with it, he was a better man now. Zahel was too old for that kind of crem.

Zahel frowned. “Then what did you mean?”

“Ummm, I’m… I’m training her to use a Shardblade…not…” He looked away sheepishly.

“Oh.” Yes. That was a lot more like Adolin.

“What in Damnation did you think it was?”

“Nothing.” Adolin gave him a bewildered look. Storm it. He wasn’t going to go into details if the storming kid was too dense to get it. "What’s wrong with teaching her that?”

“She’s a woman.”

Oh right. Silly Alethi and their damn gender roles. Vivenna would…no. He didn’t want to think about Vivenna. It hurt too much.

“And you’re an Ardent.”

“So?”

Adolin sighed, running a hand through his hair. “You’re not supposed to…”

“I’ve trained women before,” he said. In both kinds of swords, unlike some kids who can’t comprehend simple metaphors. He, however, had enough wisdom not to say certain things aloud. “What does it matter? She’s got a sword, might as well learn to use it to defend herself.”

Adolin nodded. “That’s what I said,” he sighed, looking apprehensive once again. “But she’s just not passionate about it.”

Zahel closed his eyes, took a deep breath, then released it. How could he be having this conversation, and how in the cosmere did a man of twenty-four not understand what it sounded like he was saying?

“Master…?” Adolin only used that title when he was concerned.

“You’re an idiot.”

“Huh?”

“Most people aren’t that storming passionate about their Shardblades.”

“Well,” Adolin said, taking a seat at the table. “They’re special. You know that, you’ve handled a few!”

Zahel rolled his eyes.

“She doesn’t have to be passionate,” he said, stopping Adolin before he had the chance to ramble on and on about said swords. “She just has to learn to defend herself. Keeping a cool head can be good in a fight. Now…what in Damnation makes you think you’d make a good teacher?”

“I’m just that storming good, that’s why.”

“Ha.”

“But I am,” he said, “you trained me.”

“That doesn’t make you a good teacher, boy. You’re an excellent duelist and warrior, neither of those things mean you know the first thing about teaching someone else,” he said. “If we didn’t need to keep this secret, I would tell you to bring her to me.”

“You? But you’re too…”

“Mean?”

“No, you’re just a grump,” Adolin said. Ah. That was the Alethi word for it. Hadn’t Vivenna called him something like that once? “Shallan is basically your polar opposite. Unlike you, she’s actually nice. Cheerful. Happy. She’s pretty, too.”

That might be true, but she’s not Vivenna. Instead, Zahel barked a laugh. “You fear I’d corrupt her with my…grumption?”

“That’s not a word.”

“It should be,” he said. “I’ll write you some suggestions.”

“But I can’t…oh. For her.” He blushed again. Adolin really did like this Radiant girl, didn’t he? That detraction could pose a problem while teaching,…and lead to other things.

Zahel shook his head, then flipped to a clean sheet of parchment. As Zahel wrote, Adolin went into more detail about Shallan’s lessons. It seemed they had managed two sections without incident, and the girl had gotten a basic handle on some of the simpler stances.

After some time had passed, he handed the sheets to Adolin. “Huh,” Adolin said, inspecting the sheet, “your handwriting’s actually legible.”

“You’re illiterate.” Of course, that wasn’t the only problem. Zahel preferred writing in his native Hallandren, not women’s script. It was quicker. “And,” he looked over Adolin’s shoulder, “you’re holding it the wrong way.”

The boy held it sideways. “Oh,” Adolin said, rotating the sheet…until it was still sideways again. Storms. “I can still tell if it’s legible, Zahel.”

“Right.”

“Thanks,” he said, standing to leave. Zahel cleared his throat, however, causing Adolin to turn back. “What?”

“Do you kids have some kind of chaperone for these nighttime lessons?”

“It should be fine,” he said, scratching the back of his neck bashfully. “Her spren’s keeping an eye on things.”

“Her spren,” Zahel deadpanned. Great. “Adolin…”

The boy swallowed. “Hey, if my father’s spren can officiate his marriage to my aun - mom,” he said, seemingly unsure of what he should called Navani. Hell, Zahel wasn’t sure either. “Then Pattern should be acceptable, it’s not like…like…”

Even if they did it, it wouldn’t disturb Zahel’s conscience. Considering how easily flustered Adolin was, however… “Just pulling your leg, kid,” he said, patting him on the arm. “If you need more help, just ask.”

Adolin nodded.

“Go on, get going,” he said, waving him off. Adolin scurried away, no doubt in a rush to meet with a certain red-head.

Hopefully, nothing would come of it. But if it did…well, he had never been that great an ardent, anyway.

Zahel took out yet another sphere from his hidden stash. It was time to get back to work.

“Your Light to mine…”

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The fact that we're waiting for weekly updates def contributes to this feeling

dividing by zero is the new cosmere fandom euphemism for ess ee ecks

pass it on

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AU with the spren and human roles switched. Syl, a young woman who’s dealing with the problems in her daily life (arguing with her father?) when suddenly this little wisp of a stormcloud that’s been following her around turns into a tiny grumpy man.

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Something I enjoy about Vin is that she embodies two female power fantasies that are often seen as completely unrelated- the poor girl who gets to attend wealthy balls in fancy dresses and have the handsome prince fall madly in love with her, and the petite woman who can kill a hundred men in a maelstrom of whirling destruction. And honestly, life goals.

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I’m sorry, the only acceptable fancasting for Kaladin Stormblessed is Dante Basco.

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Luigi is a soother

Top: Luigi’s model from Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games.

Bottom: Upon closer inspection, the buttons on Luigi’s overalls are not flat discs, but instead stakes that are driven into Luigi’s body. By taking them out of the main model, we can see their shape.

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Keep reading

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Of course! How could I ever forget the Wyndlefork?

Sylblades and Shallanspren. Thank you for this Branderson

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Sylblades and Shallanspren. Thank you for this Branderson

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you: memes in english me, an intellectual: memes in alethi

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throwback time before I listened to the books I thought the Stormlight Archive was some kind of weird space odyssey