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I must not doomscroll. Doomscrolling is the mind killer. Doomscrolling is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will put down my phone. I will permit the US election to pass over me and through me. Where the doomscrolling has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain

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in retrospect it's crazy how we just let parents turn to the media and blame their child's hobbies when their children commit suicide. I get why news outlets let it happen (if you can say "video games made my kid suicidal" or "my kid hung himself because uh... he was doing The TikTok Noose Challenge" then it justifies banning those things and enforcing stricter means of monitoring what kids do, on top of giving the parent an out for their culpability in the situation), but if your brain hasn't completely calcified with a boomerlike contempt for The Youth, you should immediately recognize this rhetoric as cope for a massive parenting fuckup. and generally if you examine a lot of these instances that make news, the sequence of events is normally the same; a kid is relatively isolated due to bullying or abuse, their parents don't know how to connect with them (or at worst view their lack of conformity as a burden), the child does not feel safe turning to their parent for comfort, the parent doesn't make any effort to aid the child in connecting with similar-minded peers (or don't bother until the issue is so apparent that they can't afford to ignore it), the child turns to outlets to sate their desire for interaction and belonging until they feel backed against a wall. parenting is hard, but the isolation that produces suicide is largely preventable in ways that a lot of parents gloss over because they do not consider the inner lives of their children to be real or meaningful. and going on TV to bleat to the world about how the one thing that your 14 year old strongly identified with is actually a corrupting influence just seems like a means of obliterating the remaining personhood of that child. you can call me callous, but to me these parents are looking at their child's suicide as another tantrum to be managed, and controlling their image post-mortem is their discipline of choice.

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Hi 🌟,

I hope you're doing well. We're struggling to reach our fundraising goal to support my family and me during these difficult times in Gaza. We've only raised a small amount so far, and your help could make a big impact. 🙏

If you can't donate, could you please help by sharing or reblogging my pinned post? Spreading the word would mean so much to us. 💪

Pinned post: https://www.tumblr.com/ahmedharara/757031731268386816/weve-been-able-to-raise-only-120-so-far?source=share

Donation link: https://gofund.me/f751a38a

Thank you so much for your kindness and support! ❤️

Of course!!

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Feminizing HRT Overview, Guide & Information for All People Seeking It

we also have a version of this post for testosterone/masculinizing HRT as well. we wanted to write a companion piece as many folks have asked about this. it has take a bit of time, but here we are!

The testosterone HRT post is here.

Getting Your Prescription

To start taking estrogen, you will need to find a general practitioner, family doctor, endocrinologist or informed consent clinic where you can discuss gender affirming care with knowledgeable staff. Planned Parenthood is a good option for many trans people in general. Your mental health may also be evaluated, and your heart health and screening for a few other health conditions, as well as having access to your family health history if possible will be required.

Check to see if you have medical insurance, either through your family, your job, or if you are low income, a program like medicaid. Search for low income insurance plans in your area if it is needed, many places offer insurance plans for those who can't afford care on their own.

Here is a map of informed consent HRT clinics in the US.

You will discuss any gender dysphoria, gender presentation needs, if you have a support network, how you are impacted by your gender in your every day life with your provider and so on before being given a prescription. You will only be given a prescription after you discuss the risks of HRT and are screened for possible health problems and diseases or ways your body could react negatively to HRT. If you have needle trauma or phobias and can't inject hormones, it's best to bring it up before you get your prescription to save time and confusion.

The Medications

Treatment typically starts with spironolactone (aldactone), an anti-androgen that blocks androgen receptors ("male" sex hormones) for a few weeks, and then add estrogen, but many folks start with spiro and estrogen at the same time. Spiro will lower the amount of testosterone your body makes. For some people, spiro isn't necessary at all!

Some forms of spironolactone are reported to make folks pee like crazy, others do not have as bad of a time with it. Your mileage will vary depending on manufacturer. Spironolactone is intended to be a blood pressure medication, meaning it is a diuretic and is intended to help your body flush out fluids + salt. You will need to keep yourself hydrated if you notice this effect, as well as increasing electrolyte intake where possible.

Estrogen also lowers how much testosterone your body makes, and triggers changes in the body that occur during puberty in afab & adjacent people. Estrogen can be taken several ways, and is usually taken daily, and several times a day. You can take it in a pill or shot, and several forms of estrogen that can be applied to the skin like creams, gels and patches.

Make sure you thoroughly sanitize the skin of any injection sites or areas you will be applying gel or patches. If you are given topical estrogen, make sure you wash your hands after application and do not have someone else apply it for you. Make sure you do not go swimming or shower within several hours of application to make sure your skin absorbs the hormone.

You may not need to take anti androgens if you are doing estrogen injections, depending on how effective the estrogen injections are for you. Some people may not end up needing anti-androgens at all, and may be able to skip that entirely as spiro has unwanted side effects. Your natural hormone levels will dictate whether or not it's necessary, but it is not necessary for everyone.

You may end up being recommended to switch from one form of estrogen to another as your transition progresses, depending on how your body responds.

It's recommended to not take estrogen as a pill if you have personal/family history of blood clots in a deep vein or in lungs (venous thrombosis).

Some people also end up taking progesterone as well alongside estrogen. Progesterone is typically taken to encourage breast tissue growth, as this is the most prominent effect of the hormone. If sufficient breast tissue growth isn't seen from estrogen alone, progesterone can be added to your regimen, though this is only done later on into treatment, around a year or so in.

If you choose injectable estrogen, make sure to listen to your provider and ask for instructions about how to use needles and syringes, as well as injection angles, how and where you'll be injecting. Do not inject in the exact same spot every time, this can prevent the issue from healing properly and create scar tissue or cause infections or skin tissue necrosis (death). You also need a sharps container to safely dispose of your needle tips. Never re-use a needle, even if it was used previously on yourself. Always ask the pharmacy if you need more needles. A lot of places let you get them in bulk.

If you are going the injection route, make sure you know whether or not you are instructed to do intramuscular or subcutaneous injections. Intramuscular injections usually taper out of the system more quickly and need to be done more frequently, where as many patients find subcutaneous injections less painful and easier as they can be done less frequently.

For more information on safe intramuscular or subcutaneous injection for estrogen, please read here.

Another option for feminizing HRT is to take gonadotropin-releasing hormone (Gn-RH) analogs. They lower the amount of testosterone your body makes and may allow you to take lower doses of estrogen without using Spiro. Gn-RH analogs are usually more expensive, but are an option if for whatever reason the conventional route can't work for you.

DON'T GIVE UP IF YOU DON'T SEE THE EFFECTS YOU WANT TO SEE RIGHT AWAY! Many of them can take a long time to develop, often times patience is the key. If you wait it out and still don't see the results you'd like, you can try another route. Don't give up, a lot of people get deterred in the early stage of transition, you'll get there with patience and communication.

Stay patient, stay positive!

What to Expect from Feminizing HRT

Less facial and body hair growth: typically happens 6 - 12 months after treatment starts. Full effects within ~3 years on average.

Slower scalp hair loss: begins 1 - 3 moths after treatment begins. Full effect between 1 - 2 years on average.

Softer, less oily skin, and changes in general skin texture: 3 - 6 months after treatment starts, full effects within 2 - 3 years on average

Rounder, softer features including face and body, and more body fat: 3 - 6 months after treatment starts, full effects in 2 - 5 years.

Breast development: begins 3 - 6 months after treatment starts, full effects within 2 - 5 years on average or more, according to medical studies, but it can vary wildly from person to person, give dosage and hormones taken. If desired effects are not seen, progesterone can be taken alongside estrogen to help after around one year on estrogen. When breast growth begins, it starts with hard lumps under the nipples along with some soreness and itchiness. Some have sore breasts for a long time, and some may get scared and think they have cancer during this stage. Breasts will be swollen and tender for good while, and nipples may be especially sensitive to even light touch.

Reduced muscle mass/density: 3 - 6 months after treatment starts, full effect in 1 - 2 years on average

Potential decrease in libido if on estrogen alone, though not guaranteed: If it happens, it's generally within 1 - 3 months in and can last a while, but may even out over time

Fewer erections, decreased ejaculate volume, and erections that can become painful or uncomfortable if frequent erections are not maintained. This begins 1 - 3 months after treatment starts, and the full effect is within 3 - 6 months. Regularly maintaining erections and frequent ejaculation can ease some of these uncomfortable feelings in some people.

Changes in how orgasms feel, changes in texture and degree of sensation of penis and scrotum skin as well as changes in body odor: typically begins within 3 - 6 months, though it varies from person to person. Often times the way one's body responds to orgasms completely changes, many people find themselves experiencing full-body orgasms and more intense erogenous zones elsewhere in the body other than the genitals.

Smaller testicles, or testicular atrophy happens within 3 - 6 months and the full effects are usually seen within 2 - 3 years.

Increase in size of bladder and decrease in size of prostate over time which can lead to making one's gspot harder to find, and make prostate examinations more difficult, though they are still vital, as prostate cancer is still a possible factor.

Potential mood fluctuations while adjusting to the hormones, many report increased crying and sadness during the first 3 - 6 months with this tapering off after a full year at most.

Increased fatigue while adjusting to the hormones, sleepiness and becoming easily exhausted are common reports. This can vary drastically from person to person, ymmv.

If you have testicles and choose to have them removed, you may need to take testosterone as well as estrogen in order to have a healthy endocrine system. You will need to discuss the effects of this with your specialists if you want to go this route. If your androgen levels get too low because your body cannot synthesize enough testosterone after bottom surgery, you may need additional medication.

Potential infertility, though this is not a guarantee, and safe sex should still be practiced at all times. No timeline projected though the longer one is on E the more likely it becomes.

Monthly cycles akin to menstrual cycles: these are not present in everyone, but many people report entering a cycle of extreme fatigue, body aches, abdominal cramping in the approximate area where a uterus would sit, headaches, and more for around the duration of a menstrual cycle (4 - 10 days on average).

Progesterone inversely to estrogen can cause an increase in libido in most who take it, and is the primary hormone used for breast growth. Lactation may also occur while taking prog, if this happens, talk to your doctor right away.

Keep track of your progress when and where you are able, and don't be afraid to bring up any concerns you may have with your professionals or trans friends, or any other trans resource. Your transition is in your hands and you're allowed to modify it as you see fit. If you do not see the effects you want from traditional HRT, you may be able to seek the Gn-RH route, and if you aren't seeing the results you want from just estrogen, progesterone might be of use to you.

You will need to keep an eye on your bone health as high levels of estrogens can increase your chance to develop osteoporosis, and potential new cancers like breast cancer may arise, as well as heart problems. Getting checkups as frequently as possible and communicating with your doctor/s will be of great use when and where possible

Either way, we hope this helps in some way! We will add to it as we find/think of more information. Good luck to everyone seeking feminizing HRT, you deserve to look and feel like yourselves!

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"there are minors on this website and you're posting these inappropriate drawings" this sounds familiar where have I heard this kind of moral panic before, and why is it always queer artists getting singled out,,,,,,,

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ultimately mens hatred for women’s sexual proliferation - “body counts”, only fans, etc - is not just about controlling women, but it speaks to something more sinister on how they view sex. they are not anti-sex. they watch porn and have sex or at least desire to have it. but they want women to be ashamed and humiliated of the sex men force them to have. a man should have sex with a woman, but a woman should not enjoy it.

people often wonder why men watch porn or have sex if they constantly shame women for being ‘sluts’ and ‘camgirls.’ but the answer is obvious. consent is not appealing to them. when women reclaim the sexuality that’s been weaponized against them it’s a turn off for men. for these men the act of sex is not where the pleasure is derived from. it is the pain of women.

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Jesus Christ please vote idc if Biden is in hospice care we cannot let Trump become president again

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It didn’t hit me until recently that people genuinely think Kamala Harris was a police officer because of all the people who call her a cop online.

Like I think maybe it’s important people should know she was a prosecutor. She was once a district attorney and later an attorney general for the state of California. And we can discuss how related that is to police work and how tied she is to the carceral system etc etc (but for fairness would have to include her record of pushing for lowering incarceration rates through programs helping former prisoners + her office refusing to jail folks for low level weed offense). But she was never a police officer. Like people should get that clear. Kamala Harris was never a police officer. She was a district attorney. She was never a police officer.

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https://www.wsj.com/world/middle-east/israel-postwar-gaza-plan-palestine-bf36d1c9

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Twitter has made Trump2024 and MAGA hashtags unblockable & unmutable, and when you click on one your dash goes crazy with American flags.

Because Elon Musk has thrown the entire weight of his empire behind Trump.

Do you really need to be on twitter anymore? Do you?

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The Girl in the Window, Kabukicho 歌舞伎町

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I know I've been posting more about politics lately, and it's caused me to lose a chunk of followers.

But I'm a queer person with a degree in political science and its an election year. I'm old friends with several of my city council members. I've been to trainings on how to run elections. I spent my college years working for nonprofits (and being the world's worst canvasser). I'm close with more than one person who works for unions, and I have family members who work for government agencies.

I think about politics in a very pragmatic "I know how the sausage is made" kind of way. We're in a vice press, and there's only one way to release the pressure.

The revolution ain't coming. There is no one to save us but us.

So yeah, I'm going to be pissed if your answer is "let them tighten the vice -- there's no way out of the vice, it doesn't matter if they loosen or tighten it."

There's a difference, and anyone telling you otherwise is likely a psyop or someone who fell for a psyop. This literally happened before, and it's happening again.

Stop falling for it.

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do you feel like SSRIs are mostly pseudoscience? I'm not sure if I should be open to trying them or avoid them at all costs since I'm not sure if they even work or if they will mess me up permanently

a preliminary note that i don't find the category 'pseudoscience' to be useful & would classify SSRI research more as 'methodologically shoddy science' or 'ideologically slanted' or 'part of a centuries-long effort on the part of psychiatrists to secure themselves professional prestige by claiming neurobiological etiologies where none are shown to exist' &c &c. imo the notion of 'pseudoscience' is itself pretty positivistic, ahistorical, and ideologically noxious (particularly apparent in any analysis of epistemological imperialism).

that aside: you raise two major issues with SSRIs, namely whether they work and whether they will cause you harm.

efficacy of SSRIs is contested. a 2010 meta-analysis found that in patients with mild or moderate depressive symptoms, the efficacy of SSRIs "may be minimal or nonexistent", whilst "for patients with very severe depression, the benefit of medications over placebo is substantial". a 2008 meta-analysis found a similar distinction between mildly vs severely depressed patients, but noted that even in the latter population, drug–placebo differences were "relatively small" and argued that the differences between drug and placebo in severely depressed patients "seems to result from a poorer response to placebo amongst more depressed patients" rather than from a greater efficacy of SSRIs. a 2012 meta-analysis found some SSRIs consistently effective over placebo treatments, but several authors disclosed major relationships with pharmaceutical companies. a 2017 meta-analysis concluded that "SSRIs might have statistically significant effects on depressive symptoms, but all trials were at high risk of bias and the clinical significance seems questionable" (emphasis added) and that "potential small beneficial effects seem to be outweighed by harmful effects".

when evaluating any of this evidence, it is crucial to keep in mind that studies on antidepressant trials are selectively published—that is, they are less likely to be published if they show negative results!

A total of 37 studies viewed by the FDA as having positive results were published; 1 study viewed as positive was not published. Studies viewed by the FDA as having negative or questionable results were, with 3 exceptions, either not published (22 studies) or published in a way that, in our opinion, conveyed a positive outcome (11 studies). According to the published literature, it appeared that 94% of the trials conducted were positive. By contrast, the FDA analysis showed that 51% were positive.

meta-analyses are not immune to this issue, either. in addition to the problem that a meta-analysis of a bunch of bad studies cannot magically 'cancel out' the effects of poor study design, the authors of meta-analyses can and do also have financial interests and ties to pharmaceutical companies, and this affects their results just as it does the results of the studies they are studying. according to a 2016 analysis of antidepressant meta-analyses,

Fifty-four meta-analyses (29%) had authors who were employees of the assessed drug manufacturer, and 147 (79%) had some industry link (sponsorship or authors who were industry employees and/or had conflicts of interest). Only 58 meta-analyses (31%) had negative statements in the concluding statement of the abstract. Meta-analyses including an author who were employees of the manufacturer of the assessed drug were 22-fold less likely to have negative statements about the drug than other meta-analyses [1/54 (2%) vs. 57/131 (44%); P < 0.001]. [...] There is a massive production of meta-analyses of antidepressants for depression authored by or linked to the industry, and they almost never report any caveats about antidepressants in their abstracts. Our findings add a note of caution for meta-analyses with ties to the manufacturers of the assessed products.

so, do SSRIs work? they are certainly psychoactive substances, which is to say, they do something. whether that something reduces depressive symptoms is simply not known at this point, though it is always worth keeping in mind that the 'chemical imbalance' narrative of SSRIs (the idea that they work by 'curing' a 'serotonin deficiency' in the brain) has always been a profitable myth. look, any medical treatment throughout history has been vouched for by SOME patients who report that it helped them—no matter how wacky it sounds or how little evidence there was to support it. this can be for a lot of reasons: placebo effect, the remedy accidentally treating a different problem than it was intended for, the symptoms coincidentally resolving on their own. sometimes the human body is just weird and unpredictable. sometimes remedies work. i'm sorry i can't give you a more definitive answer about whether SSRIs would help you.

as to potential risks: these are significant. SSRIs can precipitate suicidal ideation, a risk that has been consistently downplayed by pharmaceutical companies and studies. SSRIs are also known to contribute to sexual dysfunction and dissatisfaction, again a risk that is minimised and downplayed in much of the literature and in physician communication with patients. further (known) side effects range through emotional blunting, glaucoma, QT interval prolongation, abnormal bleeding & interaction with anti-coagulents, platelet dysfunction, decreases in bone mineral density leading to increased risk of osteopenia and osteoporosis, jaw clenching / TMJ pain, risk of serotonin syndrome when used in conjunction with other serotonergic substances, dizziness, insomnia, headaches, the list goes on.

i don't mean to sound alarmist; all drugs have side effects, some of the ones above occur rarely, and you may very well decide the risk is acceptable to you to take on. i would, though, always encourage you to do thorough research into potential side effects before starting any drug, including an SSRI. more on SSRI side effects in david healy's books 'pharmageddon', 'let them eat prozac', 'the antidepressant era', and 'the creation of psychopharmacology'; 'pillaged' by ronald w maris; and 'the myth of the chemical cure' by joanna moncrieff.

in addition to the above, SSRIs are known to come with a risk of 'discontinuation syndrome'—that is, chemical withdrawal when stopping the drug. this, too, is often downplayed by physicians; many still deny that it can even happen. some patients don't experience it at all, though i can tell you purely anecdotally that SSRI withdrawal was so miserable for me i simply gave up on quitting for over a year, despite the fact that at that point i was already thoroughly experienced with chemical withdrawals from other, 'harder' drugs. again, i am not telling you not to go on SSRIs if you decide these risks are worth it to you! i simply think this is a decision that should always be made with full knowledge (indeed, this is a core, though routinely violated, principle of medical 'informed consent').

ultimately this is not a decision anyone should make for you; it's your body and mind that are at stake here. as always i think that anyone considering any kind of medical treatment should have full knowledge about it and should be making all decisions freely and autonomously. i am genuinely not pushing any agenda 'for' or 'against' SSRIs, only against prescription of them that is done carelessly, coercively, or without fully informing patients of what risks they're taking on and what benefits they can hope to see.

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