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When you're drowning, there are people who will stand on the shore and talk about how "cringe" it is that you don't know how to swim.
If you survive (or if you don't), these same people will say they "wish they knew" and "wish they could have done something to help".
But if you take them up on it, they will tell you they don't want to be your free lifeguard.
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Okay universe, I'm trusting that this is a sign, instead of another one of your cruel jokes.
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