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Evaluation

To what extent as a photographer can I explore different peoples perceptions and experiences in response to mental health issues in a creative and accurate way?

I feel as though I managed to explore the general way in which mental health is perceived within society, this being something that is heard of but is unseen. I wanted to explore how mental illnesses are transparent. Whether this was visually shown or conceptually explained.

I also explored my own experiences of mental health issues, this being OCD. Therefore to capture the accuracy of how I feel, I featured in the majority of my work. In my case, OCD has quite a physical impact on my life which therefore influenced me to explore the arts of film making. I feel as though as I managed to express myself creatively in a way in which I hadn't yet explored. 

When analysing various photographers, I questioned as to whether as a photographer you could truly capture what people feel and experience in mental health. I feel photographing mental health as a subject is a very personal matter, it takes a lot to accurately capture in one image what other people must be feeling. However, I feel as though I challenged myself and therefore I explored the ‘weight’ of caring the burden around daily, the various individual emotions that mental health consist of. When reviewing my images, I think I captured them accurately and in a very general and free manner. 

Therefore in my opinion  the extent in which a photographer can capture the accuracy of mental health issues is through personal experience. It is very difficult to photograph something that you aren't related to or passionate about. I feel as though to connect with the audience in an emotion and personal way, the images need to be personal to the photographer.  

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Evaluation

Overall, I am pleased with the final video of the projection on the door mimicking the movements. The motions of the video are very in sync with the door and creates the illusion of it being 3D. The meaning behind it is to experiment with the concept of your mind being in two places at once. The voices in your mind telling you to do one thing and then do another. Representing the sort of voices that would be experienced when suffering with OCD. The intrusive thoughts just taking control. 

The other videos consist of friends watching my video. They were told to watch the whole film and to try to hold in their reaction, however their emotions were not quiet so easily contained. After this experience I asked the two witnesses what they felt at the time. 

Witness 1: “Watching the video made me feel uncomfortable as it showed me exactly how serious and debilitating such issues can be for someone. Although it was unenjoyable at times, the video was thought provoking and has allowed me to become more understanding of others situations.”

Witness 2: “Watching the video made me feel uncomfortable and tense because it was so repetitive. It also made me get frustrated at the person with OCD. While watching it, it made me think about what it’s like for people struggling with OCD and how frustrating it must be for them. I like the video as I feel like it raises awareness and helps people understand OCD.”

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Statement

In these videos I intend to make the main video to be more intense. To do this I will make the duration of the film longer, the voice over to have a more stressed and angered tone and for the model (myself) to look more distressed within the footage. 

I will then project this onto a door and mimic the movements of the door and then make viewers to sit and watch the entire film projected onto a wall to make them feel as though it is an intense situation. 

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Inspirational Artist

Filip Roca

Filip Roca is a visual media artist who is based in Barcelona but is originally from Montenegro. Filip Roca created this large scaled mapping projection. He work with multiple other projection artist on this project such as Dusan Knezevic, Relja Cupic, and Andrija Kovac. More than 104 projectors were used to create this 3D outcome. This animated piece was meant to represent Dyslexia. 

These are the roles in which each of the makers took part in:

Director & 3D Artist: Filip Roca

3D Artist: Dusan Knezevic

Sound Design: Relja Cupic

Filmmaker: Andrija Kovac

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Further Improvements

To move my OCD film further, I intend to make it more intense to the point it makes the viewer feel uncomfortable through both visually and through sound. I also intend to make the duration of the video longer. 

Therefore, in the white studio I will project this film onto the wall where the door is located. There will be a projection of my film on the door in the room and someone will be opening and closing the door mimicking the film. To explore the sense of intensity that I want to portray, I will re-project this video in the white studio and get a group of people to watch it. I will tell them that they have to remain through the whole duration of the film to understand the intensity of living with OCD and will also film this process. 

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Evaluation

Overall, I am pleased with my final outcome videos as they represent how I personally experience the aspects of OCD and how I live my life. Hopefully it will make people aware as to how frustrating and uncomfortable this mental illness is. 

The first video turned out how I hoped, its fairly relaxed and not too overwhelming. However, the second video makes up for the lose of frustration and has a lot more emotion in it which is what I intended. 

The voice over for the first video was to just state whats going on and why it was. However, the second voice over was to intentionally get on the viewers nerves to understand what the voices in our heads are saying. 

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Final Outcome

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A day in the Life of OCD - Final Video

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Plan of each frame

Frame 1 - waking up to alarm

Frame 2 - Laying out clothes

Frame 3 - Laying out jewellery

Frame 4 - walking downstairs

Frame 5 - making breakfast

Frame 6 - watching TV and checking phone (compulsive tics)

Frame 7 - makeup brushes (organisation)

Frame 8 - brushing teeth, hair and straightening hair

Frame 9 - locking the house up (intrusive thoughts about straighteners)

Frame 10 - coming home from college

Frame 11 - washing hands (contamination)

Frame 12 - studying (organisation)

Frame 13 - disorganised studying

Frame 14 - exactly 4:30

Frame 15 - leaving for work

Frame 16 - coming home from work

Frame 17 - washing hands (contamination)

Frame 18 - making dinner 

Frame 19 - brushing teeth (counting)

Frame 20 - removing makeup (organisation) 

Frame 21 - bedroom (counting)

Frame 22 - getting into bed (counting).

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Statement

My intentions is to show what its like in my day to day life of living with OCD. I want it to help people understand the frustration and also what the disorder actually consists of after watching the short film. 

It will consists of various different compulsions such as counting, compulsive tics, cleanliness and organisation.  

I also hope to add a voice over of myself to this film talking through my thoughts in the moments shown. 

To develop my work further I am intending on creating a video which is specified to a certain aspect of OCD, a part which truly will frustrate the audience and put them in the sufferers shoes. Therefore, the point I am intending on focusing this on is walking out the front door. The intrusive thoughts overriding. 

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My Story

My experience of OCD started when I experienced, what was to me, a traumatic event. At the age of 10, my home was burgled which effected my behaviour, particularly in the comfort of my own home. I began worrying excessively about if I didn't do a certain thing in mind, something bad would come of it. An example of this being, if I don't touch the door handle a certain amount of times, my conscience would think something bad might happen to my family. Everything bad that happened, I would think was caused by my own actions. I also became extremely organised and gained compulsive tics. The compulsive tics being dramatic and sometimes painful movements with my body. In times of experiencing stress and anxiety, these compulsive tics would become excessively uncontrollable. When at secondary school I decided to attend cognitive behaviour therapy sessions to try to control my urges more as I become more conscious of them as I got older. These only worked for a period of time and now the extent of my OCD varies depending on my mood. 

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Inspirational OCD Short Films

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Time Based Piece Plan

- ‘A day in the life of living with OCD.’

A morning to evening short film of the routines and habits I would personally go through each day when living with OCD. This would be including counting patterns, organisation, compulsive tics and intrusive thoughts. This short film should hopefully have the duration of around 3 - 4 minutes long. 

I intend on being in this work myself to add more of a personal connection and also to get the most accurate interpretation of the truth.

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Evaluation

Overall, I am pleased with my outcomes but they were not my original intentions. I originally wanted to project my photographs onto the post it notes. However, due to technical difficulties I had to create layer masks of my images onto a black image of the post it notes. 

I like the outcome of these images as it provides the impression of a window, as if myself is looking through a window with the look of stress and despair on my face. Representing the sense of transparency, trapped and loneliness.