elk-crown

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You fall asleep face down on the floor ONE TIME and they never let you forget

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when I was a kid I thought the weather guy on TV controlled the weather and he was just telling us what he was gonna do for the next few days. when he said "30% chance of rain Thursday" I thought he was just guessing how likely it was he'd wake up in a rain mood that morning

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Randomly remembered how as a kid my mom would always fast forward through the beginning of 'Finding Nemo' because she thought Coral's death was too violent, so for years I never knew why Nemo was raised by a single father and assumed Nemo's parents had gotten fish divorced and Marlin had won custody of Nemo. My dad's biological parents divorced when my dad was young, so I always knew what divorce was and I knew my Grandma had gotten primary custody of my dad, so I just assumed that's what happened with Nemo. It wasn't until years later when I watched Finding Nemo with my grandparents without my mom and they didn't know to fast forward through the beginning that I finally knew what happened to Coral and I was *devastated*.

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This is one of the funniest things I've found on tumblr and I've seen some shit

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Wait that’s fucking weird lol

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i love this tweet so much i think about it weekly, i structure my life around it its so crazy how much one tweet changed the way i view neopronouns for the better

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message to all bitches

please survive

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Gonna be fr grown adult queers should know better than to engage in crazy fear mongering telling other people it’s over and we’re all gonna be sent to camps and lose our rights and be criminalized and whatever like hey how about don’t tell a group of people with unbelievably high suicide rates that there’s no hope and life is over

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they should start putting hot water in pools

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*guy who was lived his entire life trapped in a church censer and has thus never known a breath not tainted with incense* "sacred and terrible air? uh yeah all air is sacred and terrible"

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Tactical maid deployed! Tactical maid deployed! Tactical maid deployed! Tactical maid deployed! We are sweeping the enemy! Press the advantage! Too much dust! Too much dust! A fireteam has been destroyed.

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Coming soon to Tumblr: a button on posts that allows you blast the 'pain3' sound from Half Life (1998) directly at the poster

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how could this have happened you all put Markiplier on ur ballots right

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Where's that tweet about people still living long fulfilling lives even through the fall of the roman empire because I think about it constantly

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a good sumerian inexplicably donated five packs of 500 temporary tattoos to the classroom, each pack featuring identical pictures of a different invasive species of bug

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