elias-the-character

[elias-the-character]

won't you tell me at last who I am

[elias-the-character]

You are either going to the bathroom with me or going to the bathroom against me

[elias-the-character]

you are not a wasteland you just need ibuprofen and a hot bath and a shower and a nutritious meal and some water and some fresh air and to do something productive and to do something creative and to do something that takes physical exertion and to do something social

[elias-the-character]

Hey, who the fuck named almost 7000 babies Elias in 2023??

[elias-the-character]

[elias-the-character]

who survived? …anyone else but you?

[elias-the-character]

guards! read me my bedtime yaoi

[elias-the-character]

i’m proud of you for facing the days you really don’t want to face

[elias-the-character]

just saw someone say "<- grandprev" in tags to refer to two previous tags ago and lowkey obsessed but i think we can take it further. great grandprev tags. third cousin twice removedprev tags. the guy you refer to as your uncle because he grew up with your dadprev tags

[elias-the-character]

[elias-the-character]

@nenerobopistol noodles are ready

[elias-the-character]

u heard him ladies

[elias-the-character]

Got bitten by a radioactive dinner and now I've got supper powers

[elias-the-character]

I love saying “of course” instead of “you’re welcome,” like of course I’m helping you that’s what I do, you were foolish to even consider an alternate dimension in which I’m not helping you. you idiot. you absolute buffoon.

[elias-the-character]

new goat horn when

[elias-the-character]

WERE YOU GUYS SUBJECTED TO SEA SHANTIES EXTREMELY OFTEN AT A YOUNG AGE OR IS THIS NOT A UNIVERSAL WHITE EXPERIENCE… bc like ur man knew all of drunken sailer at age 5

[elias-the-character]

90% of age gaps don’t matter when you’re a grown adult as long as you don’t have a repeated pattern of dating people barely legal. I would date someone 30 years older than me if I liked them who gaf