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elementaryhallelujahs · 4 months ago

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someone once sent you a request about alex meeting up with a ex girlfriend to apologize and reader feeling a bit insecure due to her past and i like the idea of him teaching her how to be loved in the right way. it would still be good to read ❤️

Of Old // Alex Turner X fem!Reader

I do remember it, it was such a nice one at the time ☝️

...

Given your past, he was aware that it would weigh more heavily on you than it normally would. However, it wasn't that he thought badly of you or the situation; he simply chose not to withhold information. The conversation was brief, and Alex believed everything had been transparent and resolved. Although he had considered elaborating more, you seemed unbothered, and he didn’t want to prolong the subject, fearing it might hurt you when you appeared to be fine.

Now, the contrast was stark. When he told you, you had just returned from work, and as usual, you approached him and wrapped your arms around his shoulders in a hug. He nuzzled your skin, feeling comforted by your scent and reassured by your return—a mix of relief (you're safe) and the desire to be with you. Without feeling the need to delay, he shared his day with you, something typical of your evenings together, except for the fact that he had seen his ex.

You were moving around the kitchen, preparing a meal, and he recalled the sequence of events. As you grabbed ingredients, he mentioned spending the day at the studio with Jamie, and that Katie had been there. During their conversations, Jamie had brought up some ex-girlfriends he hadn't treated well. Despite them not remembering him, he realized he needed to acknowledge his mistakes to avoid imposing his insecurities on others and making them feel responsible. Sometimes Jamie felt like he should have apologized to them in the past.

"Yeah, I can quite understand that." You smiled slightly, and Alex nodded, knowing this mirrored your predominant experience in your previous relationship. He continued, letting you know that he recognized behaviors similar to those Jamie described and felt the need to apologize for some of them. You paused, watching him intently and biting your lip—not nervous, but not expecting such a conversation at the end of the day.

"You know, she’s friends with some of our mutual friends. I thought it was worth it for the sake of social harmony, and she knows I’m with you. I called her quickly, and she said she could meet for a snack. It wasn’t extensive; I just apologized for certain actions and acknowledged my mistakes. I feel better having talked to her; she didn’t deserve some of the things I did. She said she understood and that she’s happy now." You nodded as Alex pulled you closer. "That's such an Al thing to do," he laughed, and you forced a smile. But it was too late; his words, the prolonged and breathed intonation, reading your reaction, replayed in your mind like a curse. He cupped your face, gently rubbing your cheek. "I thought it was fair to tell you. Is everything okay?"

If he weren’t so close, you probably wouldn’t have looked at him. His eyes were bright, so yours, but your body wasn’t there for him. You agreed, wondering how often Alex thought of her or if anything had changed after seeing her again. "And what did you eat?" you asked, trying not to sound jealous. You were serious, even though you wanted to hide and cry. "I had an Italian espresso and ordered some cookies; I brought some for you," he said, getting up to fetch them. You smiled because he had remembered you and hadn’t mentioned what she ordered. You trusted him, pushing the subject away, insisting you were mature enough to handle it. But after years of being consumed in disposable doses, looking ahead wasn’t so simple.

When Alex fell asleep, you found yourself with your fingers in his neck, playing with his soft hair as he snored. He seemed at peace, a strength that made you think he didn't deserve your torments, which you tried real hard to avoid. You kissed his shoulder and left him there, knowing sleep wouldn't come; you had been in this scenario before (never with him). You warmed a cup of milk and thought it was a good time to eat the cookies; the variety and familiar flavors made you feel a bit better. You had no doubt that he loved you, but what if he still thought of her frequently? What if he was happy to see her again? What if you were doomed to just have failed relationships? It didn't make sense; Alex was with you, you knew why they had broken up. You even thought it was good that Alex went to talk to her. However, feelings could change, and we can't control them.

"I'm sorry," you whispered. You didn't hear what Alex said. His hair was messy, and he looked tired; he didn't deserve this. He joined you on the couch, took the cup from your hand, and put it on the table. His arms gently wrapped around you, your cheek pressed to his chest, soon his warm lips were on your forehead, making you sigh and breathe deeply. He wiped away your tears, only then realizing you had cried more out of fear for yourself than for him having feelings for someone else. This way, you would end up pushing Alex away; you needed to learn to deal with your mind alone.

"Why aren't you sleeping? I thought you were okay, little one." You curled up more in his arms, wrapping around his torso; the contact with his skin calmed you. You couldn't look at him, but Alex always made you feel comfortable and heard. You were about to apologize again, but he quickly denied it, holding your chin, looking at you briefly until you had to look away again, feeling pathetic.

"I need you to tell me what you're thinking. I didn't realize it was necessary to say more about this.” He sighed, swallowing his saliva little by little. He was pure sedative for how in turmoil you were. The comfort of his breathing in not wanting to sound bad. “There's nothing wrong with that, but I need you to communicate. If you told me you were meeting with an ex to talk, I would also find it at least strange. I understand it's not the best scenario." His accent, thick from just waking up, was sweet, almost whispered, and he looked so handsome, more rested, with his squinty eyes.

"I'm not him; I want to hear you and see you well." His fingers tracing your back as your tears stopped with his voice. You nodded, and he kissed your shoulder, understanding you needed some time before saying anything.

"I’m not afraid you’ll treat me badly; I know you won’t. I’m just worried you’ll get tired of this. I want things to work out." You rubbed your eyes, your words sounding as tired as you felt. Alex traced your nose with his finger, following the bridge with his thumb.

"And you’re trying, aren’t you? I’m ‘ere with you; there’s no reason to try alone." He felt your relieved smile against his chest as your fingers played with his necklace. "Talk to me, lil’ one." He nuzzled your nose this time, eliciting more soft laughter. "It’s better when you open up and don’t carry all the weight by yourself." You nodded, still feeling a certain sense of how ridiculous it all seemed.

"There’s the call on my phone. I think it has the conversation time and the hour; or you could talk to her? Or maybe Kate? What do you think? And I don't see her often anymore." It was so casual, as if it wasn’t a problem for him (though, in a way, it should be).

"Alex, I’m not going to check your phone or talk to your ex. I trust you." Your eyes welled up with tears. He seemed to understand, his cheeks flushing.

"I don’t trust myself. I still think you’ll get tired of all of this. I kept wondering how often you think of her, if it was just because Jamie mentioned her or… I don't know," Your voice trailed off, and it pained Alex too.

You were friends with Kate, and Alex felt he had learned more about your past relationship through Kate than from you (which wasn’t your fault; you had never withheld anything). And everything he knew was bitter; he couldn’t accept that someone could have been so harmful to you.

The thing was, you had been on that side of the coin before. Even though you didn't expect the same from Alex, you couldn't help but act in a protective mode. On the other hand, Alex might not fully understand, but lacking personal experience in your pain, he knew how to respect and support those he loves.

He shook his head, your body still nestled against his. "I don't think about her. In fact, I've seen her only a few times since we've been together, and only at mutual friends' parties. I haven't talked to her since we broke up." You nodded against his skin, and he held you firmly yet gently, as if you might slip through his fingers. Deep down, he feared that your hesitations might lead you to decide against wanting a new relationship so soon. "It's only you. I don't know how else to say it, but I spent the whole day thinking about how much I wanted to come home and see you; to relax with you, see your smile when you see me, and get a tight hug." Above all, you understood. Alex left no room for doubt; this was about your past experiences, and he embraced that fully.

“I love you, Al. I'm trying.” You sniffled, nuzzling the tip of your nose against his soft skin; the warmth making you sigh. Alex loved that. He dreamed of those gentle hugs of yours even when he didn't need to be far away.

“I know, and I’ll be ‘ere through the entire process. I love you too.”

…

You wrapped your hand around Alex's index finger, which made him come closer. So close that your shoulders collided, you found it pleasant. He avoided things that might make you uncomfortable, and you appreciated how important that was to him.

"Is she your girlfriend?" The sweet old lady smiled, happy to see you with Alex. You had gone to the studio with him, Katie was around too, it had been a good meeting. He suggested stopping by the café during the break, and there you were. "Yes, the biggest fan of your cookies." Then it occurred to you that you had eaten more cookies from there than you remembered Alex bringing home. You smiled sheepishly, nodding and telling her they were indeed your favorites. Alex hugged you as your head nestled against his shoulder, the lady deemed you both adorable.

You chose a table near the window, the warm sun bathing you both. Alex had ordered the coffees and picked out the cookies; you suggested new flavors to try. Sitting beside you, Alex blew on his hands and then placed them over yours, making you smile casually as you looked between him and the new treats. You leaned in, kissing his cold nose, making him smile widely with bright eyes. He kept looking at you, happy that you felt comfortable exchanging affection in public. He kissed your cheek too, leaving no doubt that he was glad with it.

You wanted to thank him for his patience, but you knew he didn’t see it as an obligation. He had feelings for you, and that’s how it should be. Even so, you rested your head on his chest, hoping he understood this gesture carried the same meaning.

...

you have to tell if you wanna be remove 😅 also here's the forms link to be in!

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